To paraphrase Forrest Gump, pregnancy sex is like a box of chocolates: You never know what you're gonna get. Depending on what kind of symptoms you're dealing with, your libido might be low to non-existent. On the other hand, due to those raging hormones and increased blood flow to your lady parts, you might find that your sex drive is stronger than ever (or maybe you're just ready to test the theory that intercourse brings on labor). Either way, your partner may not feel as comfortable with intimacy RN, so how to get your partner to have pregnant sex might be a legit concern you never thought you'd have.
There are plenty of reasons why being pregnant can put a damper on your sex life from your partner's perspective (and no, none of them have to do with your belly being unattractive, so don't even go there). While there's no question that pregnancy is way harder on you than your partner, that doesn't mean he or she isn't going through a lot, too. No, they don't have to deal with the innumerable and oftentimes insanely uncomfortable physical changes that come with having a baby, but they do have a huge life change on the horizon — pretty much the hugest one ever, in fact — and that's enough to mess with anybody's head.
Of course it's frustrating when that faraway look in their eye has more to do with the realization that you're going to need a bigger car than anything of a romantic nature, but it's perfectly understandable (especially because you're probably thinking about the same things). But when your partner's stress levels are keeping them from being affectionate, it's all too easy for a hormonal mama to take it as a personal rejection... and then the misunderstanding spirals into something that could have been avoided with a simple conversation.
So, the first and most important step in seducing your partner while pregnant is definitely keeping lines of communication open. Not only will this give both of you an opportunity to vent about your fears and frustrations, it'll also give you a chance to talk about what's working (and not working) from a sexual standpoint.
First of all, your partner might be afraid that they're hurting you (believe it or not, a lot of guys really do worry about their penises somehow bumping into the baby, according to Men's Health), which could definitely make him less likely to make a move. Plus, you can open up about which positions feel good — and which don't feel so great, even if they used to be your faves.
"It's very crucial that couples talk about sex during pregnancy," OB-GYN Kecia Gaither, M.D., Director of Perinatal Services at NYC Health+Hospitals/Lincoln tells Romper.
It's also crucial to keep a sense of humor during the inevitable awkward moments ahead. Sometimes, no matter how sexy both of you are feeling, the cumbersome nature of what you're trying to accomplish — or even an unexpected kick from your unwitting third party — might make your partner laugh, or freak out in some form or fashion. Try not to take it personally if your partner gets the mood temporarily knocked out of them by what turns out to be a sexual comedy of errors. The mood will strike again, maybe even in a couple of minutes. Be patient with the process, and yourself.
Finally, if pregnancy is making you feel a bit more adventurous (or you're just in need of a few new tricks to accommodate your shifting shape), try using this time to suggest some exciting additions to your usual repertoire —additions like new toys and positions you've never tried and maybe even a new genre of porn, if that's your thing. Who knows, you might even end up making some of those additions permanent!
In the end, if it does the job (including getting that baby out, if that's part of your agenda), then your partner will probably be into it. Pregnancy as an aphrodisiac? Hey, it can happen.
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