Preparing for a new baby is a stressful time, since you're faced with seemingly life-changing decisions on an almost daily basis. It's even trickier when you're using a surrogate, as Kim Kardashian pointed out in a recent interview with Loni Love on The Real. There's a sometimes awkward dynamic since you're not totally in control. And the reason why Kardashian didn't invite her surrogate to her baby shower is a perfect example of how tricky it can be and the tough decisions that moms-to-be need to make.
Here's how Kardashian explained it when Love asked if she invited the surrogate: "I did not. I introduced her to my family earlier that day, and I just thought … I don’t know, it was a weird decision to have to make.”
It wasn't that she didn't want to include her, but more that she hadn't found a great way to introduce her to the rest of the family yet. Kardashian explained, "Of course I would have wanted her to be there, and be a part of it, but I hadn’t really gone that far in explaining it to my kids yet.”
That makes a lot of sense. Choosing to use a surrogate is still so new for many people, so it's not like there's an Emily Post-style etiquette book to follow. If anything, it's sort of great that Kardashian has been so open about the process and sharing her experience with other women who might be in the same position and have no idea what to do or how to talk about the process.
Kardashian added that it's all been a great experience so far with the surrogate. She told Love, "I love her. I have the best relationship with my surrogate. She's so nice. She is the perfect person to do this for my family. She's great. She's been amazing."
Kardashian also added that the surrogate didn't know whose baby she would be carrying right away, but that when she found out, she was "very excited." There was an added level to choosing someone for the job, Kardashian said, since she didn't want it to get weird if it was a super fan or something, which sort of makes sense. That could get creepy AF. Kardashian explained to Love:
She was, you know, someone that had watched the show, not like a superfan or anything, that it would have been uncomfortable, but she had seen my struggle and seen how open I was about it. So she was really proud to do it and really excited.
When it comes to surrogacy, couples can choose to stay anonymous. But that didn't sit right with the 37-year-old mom and reality star, as she explained in the same interview:
I just felt like I wanted whoever's carrying my baby, like what if they weren't a fan of me or my husband and what if they didn't want to be carrying our baby? I wanted to give them that choice and be like, proud and on the same page. I wanted a relationship with her.
Which, obviously, they totally have. But that doesn't mean it's all easy. In an interview with Entertainment Tonight, Kardashian admitted to feeling a little out of sorts about the whole pregnancy, since the surrogate has so much control, rightfully, of the situation.
"You know, it is really different. Anyone that says or thinks it is just the easy way out is just completely wrong," she told Entertainment Tonight. Kardashian added:
Obviously you pick someone that you completely trust and that you have a good bond and relationship with, but... knowing that I was able to carry my first two babies and not, you know, my baby now, it's hard for me. So, it's definitely a harder experience than I anticipated just in the control area.
Kardashian and husband Kanye West chose to use a surrogate after a doctor warned that a third pregnancy would be dangerous to her health. During her first two pregnancies, she had multiple complications and was really straightforward about how miserable pregnancy was for her in general.
But giving up the job, even in the name of your health, isn't easy. So far, it sounds like Kardashian and West are doing the best they can, just like every other couple out there.
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