Parenthood is all about sacrifice, my friends. There's just no way around it. As a mom I have sacrificed my body, my sleep, my personal time, my weekend, my free-time, my finances, my time with my partner, my, well, everything, for the benefit of my children. But you know what I won't sacrificed for my kids? Cursing. So if you're asking yourself, "Should parents curse?" know that while that question probably has multiple answers based on who you're asking, my answer is clear: f*ck yes they should.
It's not that I think we should be cursing at our kids — that's verbal abuse — or calling people names in front of our kids. Obviously how a person uses curse words matter, and context is always important. But when it comes to cursing after I, say, stub my toe, or forget something on the way to dropping my kid off at school, or end up stuck in traffic, well, yeah, I am going to drop the occasional f-bomb. I am not the kind of person who feels satisfied saying "darn" or "shoot." Those words are just, well, inadequate.
I know my approach to cursing as a mom isn't for everyone. Hell, I have been asked my fellow mom friends to avoid cursing in front of their kids, and I respect those wishes when I am in their home. But when it comes to my children, and when we're out in public, I am going to proudly throw those curse words around, and here's why:
Because I've Given Up Enough Already
Look, when I was pregnant I gave up full autonomy over my body. During labor I gave up, at times, my will to live. Then there was breastfeeding, sleep, relaxing weekends, time to myself. You name it, and chances are I have sacrificed it in the name of my children.
So, no, I will not be giving up my precious curse words. I like those four letter words, people. I'm keeping them.
Because Curse Words Exist
It's not like these "colorful" words disappear the moment you have a child. They exist, my friends, and my child's entrance into the world didn't change that. My kids are going to hear people curse, so they might as well hear their mother curse so they know what is appropriate to say, and what isn't.
Because My Child Can Learn What Not To Say
It's not difficult to explain to my son that there are words mom and dad are allowed to say that he simply can't. We do the same about television shows and movies, so why not language? There's nothing wrong with my child knowing that there are some things in the world that simply aren't for him yet.
Because I'm Not Changing Everything About Myself
I use the English language to express myself, and often times that language includes cursing. I am not going to suddenly alter my language and, as a result, an expression of myself just because I became a parent. I have always cursed, and that's a part of me — a part of my personal expression — that I want to keep. I am not a "darn" or "shoot" or "freaking" kind of a person. I'm just not.
Because There Are No "Bad" Words
Saying some words are "bad" words is the same, to me, as saying some foods are "bad" foods: it's just not true. Yes, there are some words (the "n" word, for example) that are completely off limits, and for good reason, but curse words aren't in the same category as hateful, racist words that have been used to degrade an entire population of people.
I don't view curse words as bad words, they're just words that can be used in a bad way. And I don't use curse words to attack people, but to simply express myself in a more, well, "colorful" way.
Because Sometimes Parenting Requires Cursing
You guys, parenting isn't easy! It can be frustrating! It can be overwhelming! It can be bloody exhausting! So of course I need to use some curse words, every now and then, to express just how difficult this job is! I'm sorry, but a "oh, my goodness" or a "that darn such and such" just doesn't adequately describe a number of difficult parenting situations. Parenthood, in my opinion, is probably reason number one why curse words exist.
Because My Kid Will Hear Those Words Eventually
I cannot and refuse to police the language of others, so when we're out in public my kids are going to hear people curse. So, yes, I think it's best that they hear those words from me, and in contexts that I can explain, instead of hearing them from someone else and in a way that might be more damaging than my run-of-the-mill, random cursing.
My kids won't be shocked when they hear a curse word, and they won't consider those words some taboo part of language that instantly draws them to it. Instead, a curse word will be just another word; one they're not allowed to use until they're older.