With the dog days of summer creeping in, moms and dads everywhere have one thing on their mind: back-to-school season. While the start of the school year is exciting, prepping for a new year can be stressful for parents and kiddos alike. Think frustrating fitting room sessions, trying to find a first-day fit that your kid likes and doesn't break the bank, hectic mornings trying to get everyone out the door on time, and more chaos.

Starting the new school year right can feel daunting, but this year, affordable shopping platform SHEIN and beloved mom-fluencer Cheyenne Davis are here to help you and your little ones head into the first day with confidence, style, and flair. Thanks to the SHEIN x Cheyenne Davis Back-to-School collection, you can now shop budget-friendly outfits that will help you tackle the nerve-inducing first day, hectic back-to-school nights, and dreaded picture days with ease.

And you can shop the collection, knowing you're contributing to community efforts. SHEIN and Davis are gifting curated, stylish clothing and essentials to members of the Boys & Girls Club of West San Gabriel Valley & Eastside, ensuring every child has the opportunity to take on their next adventure with confidence.

If you're still feeling those back-to-school — and specifically shopping — jitters, don't worry. Ahead, our favorite mom creator and fashionista shares her tips for getting the new school year going with style and ease, from budget- and time-friendly shopping strategies to morning and evening routine swaps that make everyone's days a little smoother.

ROMPER: This collaboration goes beyond back-to-school style with a clothing donation benefiting local youth through the Boys & Girls Club of West San Gabriel Valley & Eastside. Why was it important for you to include a community giveback component as part of this partnership with SHEIN?

CHEYENNE DAVIS: As a mom, I know back-to-school season is about giving kids the confidence to start fresh. That feeling should be something every child gets to experience. Being able to provide clothing, backpacks, and school supplies to local families made this partnership feel even more meaningful, and I hope it helps kids head into the school year feeling supported and excited.

ROMPER: You've spoken about how clothing can help build kids' confidence. What do you hope the back-to-school donation means for the students and families receiving it as they head into the new school year?

DAVIS: I hope it eases some of the pressure families can feel during back-to-school season while giving kids outfits they feel great wearing. I'm grateful that SHEIN and I were able to be part of that experience. When kids feel comfortable and confident, it can change how they show up on that first day. More than anything, I hope they know there's a community behind them, rooting for them as they start a new school year.

ROMPER: Parents are always trying to balance style with budget. What advice would you give families looking to maximize their back-to-school wardrobe without overspending?

DAVIS: Think about building a wardrobe instead of buying individual outfits. That's exactly the approach I took with my SHEIN collection. I always look for versatile pieces that can be mixed and matched throughout the week, so getting dressed is easier, and you get more wear out of everything you buy. Pieces that work for school, after-school activities, and weekends help stretch your budget even farther, and having outfits planned can make busy mornings so much less stressful.

ROMPER: How did you make sure the collection offers pieces that kids are excited to wear while still giving parents practical options?

DAVIS: I approached this collection as a mom first. I wanted to include pieces my own kids would actually be excited to put on, while making sure they're comfortable, easy to style, and durable enough for everything a school day brings. I also kept versatility in mind because parents want clothes that can go from the classroom to the playground, after-school activities, and even special school events without needing a separate wardrobe.

ROMPER: What are your top three back-to-school shopping tips for busy parents this season?

DAVIS: First, choose versatile pieces that can be mixed and matched into multiple outfits for the week. Second, look for clothes that work beyond the classroom so kids can wear them to recess, after-school activities, and on weekends. And finally, don't forget about school spirit and theme days! Having a few fun accessories or statement pieces on hand makes those moments a lot easier without buying a whole new outfit every time.

ROMPER: What do you consider to be the most important part of kids' before-school routines?

DAVIS: We try to set ourselves up the night before — whether that's planning outfits, packing backpacks, or making sure everyone gets enough rest, because it makes busy school mornings so much smoother. That's also part of the thinking behind my SHEIN collection; having versatile outfits that are easy to put together takes one more decision off parents' plates. Those small habits help my kids feel prepared and confident heading into the day, and I think that sense of organization carries over into everything they do, both at school and afterward.

ROMPER: What is your favorite item in the collection and why?

DAVIS: The matching sets are definitely my favorite pieces in my collection because they're such an easy solution for busy families. Kids can wear the pieces together for an effortless outfit or mix and match them with other basics to create completely different looks throughout the week. That versatility was something I really wanted this collection to deliver because it gives parents more options without needing a closet full of clothes.

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SHEIN x Cheyenne Tween Striped Rib-Knit Sweater

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SHEIN x Cheyenne Baby & Kids' 2-Piece Sweat Set

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SHEIN x Cheyenne Tween Collared Sweatshirt & Pants Set

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SHEIN x Cheyenne Kids' Plaid Hooded Shacket

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SHEIN x Cheyenne Baby & Kids' Striped Collared Knit Short Onesie

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Your first baby comes with a steep learning curve that can be both exhausting and exhilarating. But by the time a second arrives, you at least know what to expect. You’ve survived the sleepless nights, mastered the swaddle, and learned which baby gadgets are actually worth buying (sorry, wet wipe warmer). And if your first postpartum experience was relatively smooth, it’s only natural to assume the next one will be, too.

The reality is that postpartum depression (PPD) can show up for the first time — or look completely different — with a second or subsequent baby. I spoke with a psychiatrist and reproductive mental health specialist, as well as moms who lived through it, to understand why.

It’s More Common Than You’d Think

“Many women experience postpartum depression for the first time after a second or subsequent baby, even if they had no symptoms following an earlier pregnancy,” says Dr. Elizabeth Kern, a psychiatrist and reproductive mental health specialist in New York City. “Every pregnancy and postpartum period brings its own unique combination of biological changes and life circumstances that can influence mood. Having one symptom-free postpartum experience doesn’t necessarily mean future postpartum periods will look the same.”

This was exactly the case for Linzay in California, a mom who sailed through her first postpartum period. “After having my first baby, I remember nothing but pure bliss,” she says. She even brought her daughter along to a therapy appointment weeks later, just to share the good news. “My therapist told me she was so happy for me and that it’s not often she works with patients who feel as good as I was.”

Then came her second baby, and this time her postpartum experience could not have been more different.

When PPD Doesn’t Look Like What You Expected

After another emergent C-section — a delivery she’d hoped to avoid — Linzay felt devastated. The hospital days were OK, but once she got home, the intrusive thoughts were relentless. “I didn’t bond with my second daughter the way I did with my first. I kept imagining scenarios where I would have to choose between my children, and I always would choose my toddler. I didn’t even know this other new baby.”

And yet PPD never crossed her mind. Because she hadn’t experienced it with her first child, she assumed her feelings were the physical toll of recovery, lingering fatigue, or just the adjustment of balancing a toddler and a newborn. It wasn’t until her six-week appointment — when she cried through the entire visit — that her doctor suggested she might be experiencing PPD and postpartum anxiety. “The moment she said it, I felt validated and hopeful that I wouldn’t have to feel like this forever.”

Jillian, a mom of two in New Jersey, had a similar experience of not being able to name what she was going through. “Going from one to two children was a big transition,” she says, “and it was difficult to discern what was ‘normal’ hard versus ‘postpartum’ hard.” She’d assumed PPD would be easier to identify. It wasn’t.

What these moms experienced is not uncommon, says Kern. “With a second or subsequent baby, a mother is bringing her newborn home to a busy family with competing demands. She may not have the time, space, or emotional bandwidth to recognize some of the more classic symptoms of depression.” Instead, PPD may show up as irritability, anger, emotional numbness, guilt, or difficulty bonding — things that are easy to chalk up to the chaos of having multiple kids.

The Risk Doesn’t Go Away Just Because It Didn’t Happen Before

Many parents assume that if they didn’t experience PPD the first time around, they won’t experience it after a later birth. But that’s not how postpartum mental health works.

“While it’s true that a prior episode of PPD is the strongest known risk factor for experiencing it again, the absence of PPD after a previous pregnancy does not guarantee it won’t occur after a subsequent one,” says Kern. “Every postpartum experience carries its own level of risk. For that reason, every new mother deserves the same careful attention to her mental health, regardless of how smoothly a previous postpartum experience may have gone.”

According to Kern, there are many reasons why someone might experience PPD in subsequent pregnancies, including compounded sleep deprivation and competing demands with fewer opportunities to rest. Add to that the fact that support often tapers off with subsequent babies — fewer casseroles, fewer check-ins — and it’s easy to see why so many moms assume what they’re feeling is just stress or the demands of having two kids.

When To Reach Out For Help

“A new mother doesn’t have to wait until symptoms become severe or reach a crisis point to connect to care,” says Kern. “If she’s experiencing emotional changes that are causing ongoing distress, it’s worth reaching out for mental health support regardless of whether her symptoms fit a particular diagnosis she’s familiar with. Early intervention can make a meaningful difference.”

Partners and friends can play a crucial role here, she notes, because they “know a new mom’s baseline better than anyone else.” They’re often the first to notice something is off, and a gentle nudge toward her healthcare team can be enough to get the ball rolling.

Linzay echoes this. “I wish I had known the signs and symptoms of PPD so I could have known what to look out for. I also wish my husband had known them, too — sometimes it can be hard to see in yourself.”

Linzay’s message to any mom who’s in the thick of it right now? “Postpartum depression is extremely common — but that doesn’t make it normal. There is help, and you won’t feel like this forever.”

If you or someone you know might be experiencing PPD, Postpartum Support International offers a free and confidential 24/7 helpline and online support groups.

Presented by BDG Studios

The moment your algorithm figures out you’re pregnant, it starts saying goodbye to the old you. The feed that once knew you as someone looking for your next book club read, training for a 10K, or hunting down the latest skin-care launch slowly morphs into hospital bag checklists, baby carriers, and the stroller that’s supposedly going to change your life. (Seriously, why are there more stroller models than cars? Asking for a friend.) Every swipe comes with the promise of optimizing life with your newborn. And before long, the algorithm mirrors real life: Somewhere between the wake windows and diaper comparisons, your own interests fade into the background.

Of course, becoming a parent changes you. Your priorities shift, and with them, your sense of self does too. But for moms navigating postpartum depression (PPD), that loss of identity can feel especially profound. According to the CDC, about one in eight women experiences symptoms of PPD after giving birth, a condition that can leave new mothers feeling disconnected from themselves.

Every mom with PPD we spoke with emphasized that getting the support they needed — whether through counseling, leaning on loved ones, or building a community around them — was foundational to navigating it. While they didn’t view the smaller moments of self-care as a substitute for therapy, they described those ordinary rituals as something different: tiny reminders of the person who still existed underneath the exhaustion and the fog.

Ahead, four moms share the everyday instances that helped them rediscover parts of their identity while navigating PPD and how those seemingly ordinary rituals became stepping stones back to feeling like themselves again.

Put Yourself On The Calendar, Too

For Lauren, finding her way back to herself started with a calendar invite that had just one attendee: her.

The same way you wouldn’t accidentally forget your baby’s pediatrician appointment, she realized she had to stop treating her own needs as something she’d get to “if there was time.” So she blocked off “Self-Care Fridays,” which involved a little time dedicated to doing something unrelated to raising kids or running a household. “When you’re in the thick of it, raising young kids and working, it is so hard to find those moments of your pre-babies self,” she says. “Some days you feel like you’re just in survival mode.”

Those Friday afternoons might mean she’d read a novel instead of parenting books, go for a walk, exercise — anything that reminded her of who she was before motherhood. But Lauren is quick to point out that self-care didn’t always look like multiple uninterrupted hours to herself. Instead, she looked for ways to build it into the plans she already had that day. She’d toss a book into her bag before another long day at her older kids’ sports tournaments, reading a few pages on the sidelines instead of small talk with other parents. She kept sneakers in the trunk so she could walk laps in between errands. And instead of setting ambitious goals, she kept them intentionally more realistic for herself (for instance, reading just 10 pages a day). Whatever the goal, it was about treating time for herself with the same importance as every other commitment on her calendar.

Leave The House Without Feeling Guilty

Before becoming a mom, the gym had always been one of Jennifer’s favorite places — a space where she could throw on her headphones, blast her favorite playlist, and think about absolutely nothing except herself. That instinct to get moving is backed by research, too. A recent study found that just 80 minutes of moderate-intensity exercise per week was associated with moderate reductions in the severity of PPD symptoms, underscoring how movement can be one meaningful part of a broader postpartum support plan.

Getting back, at first, wasn’t as empowering as she’d imagined. “I was fully overstimulated,” she says. “I felt embarrassed. I felt like I didn’t know what I was doing anymore.” Then came the guilt: “I had immense guilt about being away and spending time on myself,” she says.

It wasn’t until Jennifer reframed the way she thought about that hour at the gym that things began to shift. She began to see her time spent outside the house as helping her show up as a better mom. “I started having more awareness about how taking care of myself impacts the way I show up for my child,” she says. “Eventually, that time became non-negotiable — however I could squeeze it in.”

Today, Jennifer is a therapist specializing in perinatal mental health, a path inspired by her own experience with PPD and postpartum anxiety. Feeling like herself again didn’t require a complete life overhaul. It began with something much smaller — giving herself permission to walk out the front door, knowing that motherhood hadn’t erased who she was, and that taking time for herself wasn’t taking anything away from her child.

Rediscover A Creative Side

Melissa’s journey began with rediscovering a creative side of herself through a single drop-in painting class at a local art studio. With two young kids at home, the idea of dusting off art supplies and carving out uninterrupted creative time in her living room felt unrealistic. However, committing to just one class seemed far more doable, as everything was already prepared and she simply needed to show up. “Being creative again reminded me there was a part of me that still existed outside of motherhood,” she says.

That one class eventually turned into a recurring weekly session. “Signing up for a class made me much more accountable to actually showing up for myself,” she says. “If it had just been me telling myself I’d paint at home one day, it probably never would have happened. After a while, it became something I looked forward to each week.”

Research shows that creative arts interventions — including music therapy and other creative activities — were associated with significant improvements in PPD symptoms, anxiety, and overall psychological well-being. While an art class isn’t the same as formal art therapy, Melissa says carving out dedicated time to create gave her mind somewhere to go that had nothing to do with motherhood.

Turn Your Skin-Care Routine Into You-Time

If being a mom teaches you anything, it’s that the bathroom is sometimes the only place you can count on for a few undisturbed minutes of peace. (Well... until your toddlers figure out how to open the door.) After months of pausing mid-shampoo because she was convinced she heard phantom crying (IYKYK), Sarah began lingering at the bathroom sink for a few extra minutes after her shower.

It wasn’t because she expected a miracle cream to erase months of sleep deprivation or make her look like she hadn’t just grown and birthed an entire human. Those moments at the bathroom sink became more than a skin-care routine. “It was more about the ritual itself,” she says. Cleansing her face, smoothing on moisturizer, and spending a couple of silent minutes caring for her skin felt comfortingly familiar. “It’s something I had done every day before I became somebody’s mom.”

And, of course, glowing skin doesn’t make PPD go away — but feeling like a person worth caring for is a pretty good place to start.

Presented by BDG Studios

As a teacher and lifelong student, I share Kathleen Kelly from You’ve Got Mail’s love of a bouquet of newly sharpened pencils. I am seduced by back-to-school marketing: bright yellow banners with buses and apples and a smiling rainbow of crayons. I’m eager to trade our days of living by the light of the sun for the tick of a clock.

The beginning of school feels like the true New Year: I’m much more inspired to make resolutions as heat evaporates from the sidewalk than I do in the cold, mid-winter. Give me the schedules, the outcomes, the seating assignments! Give me some consistent childcare!

Any parent of young children knows that summer is hardly a vacation for the adults in the room. Last summer, with my kids home and hungry, I was fighting to reach inbox zero between sibling squabbles and second breakfast requests. While dishing out more bowls of berries, an email appeared: the back-to-school shopping list. Though the message was yet another task on my to-do list, it was a reminder that more care was around the corner. Someone other than me would be responsible for these children. Hallelujah!

With my nervous system activated from too much juggling, I jumped online to load the back-to-school list into my shopping cart. Crayons, scissors, folders — check, check, check! I purchased the items and waited for the boxes to appear on my doorstep.

Several days later, I attended to another task: clearing out the sheer amount of stuff that had accumulated in our home. As I sorted through broken toys and discarded craft supplies, I stumbled upon some other items: crayons, scissors, folders. All the items I'd bought so quickly online. All items that would be duplicated unnecessarily once my hastily purchased packages arrived.

I was aware of my consumer-stress cycle. The busier I became, the more likely I was to click “buy now.” When my schedule did not allow for an evening wind-down with a cup of tea and a good book, I’d find myself impulse buying after mindless doomscrolls. My response to the kids complaining of boredom (despite mounds of unfolded laundry, dirty dishes, and crumb-strewn floors) was to purchase a chore chart. Perhaps a dry-erase grid with tasks and magnetic check marks would finally produce some order in my home and discipline in my children.

These quick-hit purchases always ended similarly: initial interest followed by total disregard. I found chore chart magnets scattered throughout the recesses of our home. I bagged up my trendy Instagram purchases to drop off at Goodwill. No matter how many times I’ve tried to buy my way into sanity, I accomplished only the opposite: more clutter, more frustration, more wasted money. It was like setting dollar bills on fire.

Of course, I know I can’t simply buy my way into happiness. While I get a dopamine hit from shopping, I also experienced mental clarity and decreased anxiety as I cleared my clutter.

I longed to stop the pattern altogether: to boost my mood without accumulating more stuff, to live with the calm of knowing I had what I needed and not too much more. This year, I’m aiming to achieve these goals by revising my approach to back to school shopping. When I receive my kids’ supply list, before hopping immediately online, I want to take a beat to look around. Are there still glue sticks in the basement? Is that backpack from last year in pretty good shape? Do I really need a fancy new lunchbox, or could I rely on one of the many bags I have hanging out in the cupboard?

My kids can help with this assessment; no fancy chore chart required. Taking stock of our resources is an important lesson in home management and environmental prudence. As Bridget Shirvell writes in Parenting in a Climate Crisis, teaching kids to reduce waste is a way to help children learn to delay gratification and better care for our planet. Taking time to assess what is already available in our household economy helps us become better stewards of the earth.

Purchasing a box of pencils online may feel like a fresh start — but gathering all the scattered pencils from my supply closet, sharpening them, and placing them in a wiped-clean box is another form of renewal. What I truly long for, after all, is transformation — not disposability. No purchase required.

Anna Rollins is the author of Famished: On Food, Sex, and Growing Up as a Good Girl, a groundbreaking debut memoir that examines the rhyming scripts of diet culture and evangelical purity culture. Her writing has appeared in The New York Times, Slate, Electric Literature, Literary Hub, Joyland, and more. An award-winning instructor, she taught English in higher education for nearly 15 years and is a West Virginia Creative Network Literary Arts fellow. Follow her on Instagram and Substack @annajrollins

As the mom to a lively nine-year-old autistic boy, I know how following a predictable routine can make or break our day. When we move through our tasks and chores smoothly, we both feel more confident. Other days it feels like getting my son to walk 10 feet to the car will break me. I want him to put on his shoes, he wants to roll on the floor. I want to go to school, he wants to play one more game on his Pop It—as though we haven’t already done this 900 times.

As we head back to school, here’s what I’m doing to save my sanity.

Routines Help Us All Thrive

Back-to-school season can be especially hard. Summer routines are changing. There are new teachers and after-school activities. Our kids may be waking up earlier or doing homework for the first time. “Kids rely on structure to regulate their emotions and feel safe. When a child knows what’s coming next, they’re calmer and more confident,” says Nathalie Stratton, the co-founder of the digital calendar Hearth Display. And checking the schedule helps me remember that I set an intention, we’re on track, and even though life feels chaotic in the moment, when I step back, I can see we are making progress and meeting our goals. On rushed mornings, that's almost as valuable as the schedule itself.

I’m not naturally drawn to keeping a strict schedule. I don’t time block my calendar, and I stopped using a planner years ago. But I still have grown-up responsibilities, like helping my son get ready for school, and it’s easy for both of us to spiral when our routine is disrupted. So I’ve found it helpful to surrender to the idea of following a schedule. As Stratton told me, “You’re already running a family calendar. It just lives in your head. The first step is getting it out.”

Transitions are especially hard for my son, but most young kids need help shifting from what they want to be doing to whatever comes next. Speech-language pathologist Lauren Salles Gumpert, says, “Kids move gradually from concrete to abstract thinking during elementary school, which explains why time is so difficult to grasp.” While there are no magic buttons or perfect solutions, using simple visual cues has made it easier for me and my son to follow the daily routine, whether it’s during the chaos of summer or a big transition like the first week back at school.

A visual schedule can reduce the back and forth we all struggle with. Parent coach Shelley Miller uses visual schedules to “break down complicated, multi-step routines for children, like in the morning when kids have to get dressed, eat breakfast, brush teeth, and pack a backpack.” And, she adds, “Visual schedules don’t solve problems that stem from deeper stressors like sensory overwhelm. But they can be an amazing tool that brings stability and structure to the family routines.”

How I Started Creating Schedules For My Kid

I’ve been using the Lil Planner app this summer, which tells us what’s up next on the schedule. For example, this summer my goal was to read and tidy up with my son before iPad time. Opening an app and saying, “The schedule says we need to read” lands differently than me unexpectedly declaring that we need to read. Instead of “Surprise! It’s time to do a hard thing,” it became “Let’s follow the schedule.”

Maybe when my son is older we’ll make the schedule together, but for now he seems to see the schedule more as a guide than as the trigger for a power struggle. Allie Klein, the co-founder of the personalized Charmspring boards notes, “Once a schedule’s in place, it saves countless reminders, negotiations, and repeated directions, because children have a visual tool they can rely on instead of needing a parent to tell them what comes next.” When less energy is directed to predicting what will come next, more energy can be directed to getting ready and following the rules. That feels good for everyone.

I find it helpful to check in regularly and see when the schedule is being used, if it reflects reality, and how it’s being received. I make changes as needed. Stratton says, “Give yourself permission to adjust. Kids can change so much in just three months. A schedule that worked in spring might not fit who they are in September. Treat it like a living document, not a contract.” I don’t update our schedule every day, but I do check in each night to see if it makes sense for the next day. Miller recommends trying a few options and setting up a version a couple weeks before school starts to ease the adjustment.

Back-To-School Doesn’t Have to Feel Like A Daily Emergency

Our current schedule lives on my phone. I open the Lil Planner app when I need to give my son a quick overview of the day. We look at it together throughout the day, and my son taps the checkmark when each task is done. I’ve also used mini schedules when there’s something out of the ordinary, like we’re going to the doctor, then home, and on to a birthday party. In that case, I might just draw something or put a couple pictures on a Velcro strip and take it with us in the car. I keep this dry-erase version on the table in my son’s room, so he can see it as he gets ready for bed. I like that I can customize it with my son’s phrasing and interests. I’ve also had my eye on these Mighty and Bright stay-on-task bracelets too. The Skylight Buddy is designed to make routines feel engaging without being distracting. The truth is that the best visual schedule is the one you’ll actually use. It doesn’t have to be beautiful—it just has to make tomorrow morning a little easier.

Start with the Messiest Part of Your Day

Miller suggests “starting with just one routine that feels chaotic or full of conflict because implementing a visual schedule takes effort at first.” I know my kid, and I know that he needs time to get used to a new schedule. If you have a kid like this, and you have time before school starts, try it out now. Salles Gumpert says, “You could even have a pretend school day where you go through what a typical school morning would look like.” Over time, you can encourage your children to begin checking the schedule on their own, building confidence and independence.

All Kids Need Extra Support During Big Transitions

I don’t expect a visual schedule to eliminate rushed mornings or prevent every argument. But if it can shift even one interaction from “Because I said so” to “Let’s see what’s next,” that feels like a win. After all, we need all the support we can get during the back-to-school season.

Heidi Fiedler writes books for kids and essays for grown ups. She’s also the author of the book Quickening: The Art of Being a Creative Mother, which is available at helloheidifiedler.com. You can find her on Instagram and on Substack @heidifiedler.

In my experience, one of the most under-discussed challenges of pregnancy and early motherhood is fielding other people’s suggestions. Everyone has a tip, a trick, a book to recommend, a podcast that changed their lives. It can be a lot.

But when my oldest arrived almost twelve years ago, there was one piece of advice on which everyone agreed, and it landed on me like a ton of bricks: without a routine, you’re toast. If life with babies and little kids was only going to be as good as the schedule I created, then gosh darn it, a good schedule I would create.

We found our rhythm soon enough thanks to the sleep strategy book 12 Hours By 12 Weeks (here I go, recommending a book…). I know this approach doesn’t work for everyone, but for us it was a game-changer. I clung to the reliability of my son’s 8am/12pm/4pm/8pm feeding schedule like the lifeline it was in those first months. It felt like we had discovered some sort of newborn cheat code. And then, like it always does, life goes on.

Maybe the baby was dropping a nap or moving to table foods, or our favorite sitter went back to college or someone came down with the flu, the old line “you don’t know what you got til it’s gone,” seemed to follow every move we made. Except when it came to figuring out the flow that worked for our little family of three, I did know exactly what we had, when we had it. And just because I knew to expect change didn’t make it any easier when it came.

When our daughter was born, I stared at the wall. I was legitimately baffled. I felt like Claire Danes’ Carrie Mathison, standing before her bulletin board in Homeland, attempting to connect all the dots of their feeding and nap schedules. How do people do this? I remember the first time I lined up their afternoon naps; I might as well have summited Everest. Truly, what a thrill.

Thankfully, we were able to get ourselves into another groove during their preschool years. It was never easy, but it wasn’t chaos, either. At 20 months apart, their needs were similar enough that what worked for one usually worked for the other. This extended to their activities and social circles, too. We were fortunate that many of my son’s best buddies — kids who have remained his close friends — have younger sisters who became good friends of my daughter’s. Families we already knew, no additional effort necessary. Boom.

And then came our youngest, William.

Will’s birth is the stuff of those against-all-odds success stories in hospital commercials on TV. As a super-preemie, he spent the first four months of his life receiving acute care in the NICU and PICU, and until he was roughly three, existed inside a bubble formed in equal parts by Covid-era lockdown protocols and my own hyper-vigilance. But that’s a story for another day.

Now he’s six-and-a-half and doing great. As my husband and I have said many times, if they awarded yearbook superlatives to kids, his would be “Just Happy To Be Here.” And he is.

But as we gear up for the start of school, I can feel the winds of change blowing again — and I’m back to Carrie Mathison mode, staring at the board that is our family calendar.

On one hand, it’s a work of art: a color-coded masterpiece built over years of time spent with the older kids, trying and schlepping and hanging in there and figuring out rides and homework and when the heck to have dinner. Through this slog of experimentation, both of them have been lucky to find a handful of activities that pass my “Should We Do This?” checklist: Do you like doing the thing? Will you practice the thing on your own, willingly? Can we do it at a level that helps you keep improving, but isn’t psychotic and doesn’t cost eight million dollars per season? Is it walkable? If not, is there a carpool?

On the other hand, it’s becoming time to admit that this masterpiece of mine is missing a color: there is no William layer in my grand plan of extracurricular logistics.

I’d like to think that we’ve reached this point honestly and for good reason. It did take me a minute to get comfortable with the idea of Will doing anything at all! Emerging from the aforementioned bubble of perpetual worst-case-scenario thinking as it related to his health and safety was a slow and difficult process for me and for our family; I’m glad to be on the other side of it.

Now that we are, I still haven’t felt the urge to get Will into every class or clinic my older kids did because I know he’s getting what he needs in socialization, athletic training, and general entertainment from his sister and brother and their (very full) lives. Or at least I thought he was? Watching a few of his peers zoom around the soccer field last spring sent me into quite the compare-and-despair spiral. Some of these kids are the youngest children, too. Have we totally missed the boat?

As he enters first grade, I suppose it’s time to examine my approach. Has he really missed anything? Is this just the fate of the youngest child? Are we really “too busy,” or am I just resting on the laurels of the effort I’ve put in with my older two? Also, am I keeping Will from age-appropriate stuff he should be doing because I know deep down that the more he engages, the more I’d be forced to, as well? I don’t like to think of myself as a “no new friends” type of mom, but man! I’m really not in the mood.

When I asked parents with older kids what they thought of these questions, I expected the same tidal wave of advice and opinions I had gotten as an expectant mom. Turns out, everyone has the same view: They’ll be fine. Don’t force it.

Because for every day of a perfectly executed naptime/bedtime sequence for the first child, there’s a stayed-up-way-too-late-but-got-to-do-something-cool for the youngest. Like a sleepover with your cousins, or fireworks on Fourth of July.

For every organized, overpriced program an older sibling was signed up for, there’s an informal backyard practice session with the high school kid down the block who, oh by the way, is a D1 athlete in the making, and also super nice and fun.

For every time-filler class the oldest snoozed through, there’s a brother’s game or a sister’s recital the youngest one gladly attends, with eyes wide open, cheering on every play and move.

And for every rising middle schooler who is too cool for a hug from mom or dad, there’s a Barnacle Bill (as we’ve lovingly nicknamed Will) holding on tight, taking notes for his time in the sun.

Another all-knowing elder-mom texted me this morning with more reassurance about these youngest children: they figure it out.

I trust we all will. I suppose we always have? I also have to keep reminding myself that we're not starting from scratch here — and that's a good thing. This isn't the boil-the-ocean exercise it was for older kids; Will has been exposed to a whole lot, and as a result, has preferences (no soccer, yes baseball). Does this mirror what his brother is doing? Sure does. But maybe instead of viewing his siblings' commitments as a limiting factor in Will's experience, I should lean into the helpfulness of being able to go with what we know. Of following a blueprint that was never meant to box us (or Will) in, but provide a roadmap for getting started.

Catherine Nettleton lives outside New York City with her husband and three kids. Her writing focuses on grief and loss, parenting, and caregiving. For more, visit her Substack, Here's Hoping.

The school year hasn’t started yet, but Utah mother Heidi Costello is already logging in. Before anyone has even stepped into a classroom, she’s swiping between platforms for transportation updates, calendars, teacher messages, and digital forms. “I feel it’s easier to stay engaged,” Costello says, “as long as you can keep up with the ever-changing technology they use.”

With three sons attending different schools, staying informed has become as much about remembering where to look, and which password to use, as understanding the information itself.

Ask any parent, and you’ll get the same answer: School communication has transformed dramatically over the past two decades. And Costello isn’t alone in finding that technology, when utilized effectively, makes it easier to stay engaged. A 2026 systematic review analyzing over 50 studies on technology-mediated parent-school communication found that parents generally viewed digital tools as convenient and beneficial, while also reporting concerns about overcommunication and navigating multiple platforms.

But that convenience has a flip side, as described by Ohio mother Megan Volk, who says helping her son join his school’s color guard became an exercise in information archaeology. A paper flyer led to QR codes, which led to multiple pages within the Band app, an information session, a PowerPoint with more QR codes, and a separate email address for questions. Even figuring out where to pick him up after practice wasn’t always clear. “The mental map I needed to use to find information was, for lack of a better word, bonkers,” she says. “It was nuts.”

As families head back to school, conversations about classrooms and homework are increasingly accompanied by another familiar refrain: Did that come through an app, email, or the parent portal?

***

When La Toya Woods’ oldest daughter started school, the Milwaukee mother says staying informed mostly meant checking the backpack for paper flyers and the weekly newsletter. Today, she says, parents are expected to navigate “multiple platforms, each with its own login, notifications, and way of sharing information.”

Volk echoes that sentiment, saying school communication often feels like a scavenger hunt. She still finds herself retracing her steps from app to app every time a new message arrives from school, asking herself: “Did I see that message in Cut-Time? Did I get that notification by email, text, or TalkingPoints? Was that schedule in the school newsletter? How do I get back to that?”

Volk’s experience reflects a broader trend. A 2025 survey conducted by Cornerstone Communications in partnership with Edsby found that schools without a unified platform often ask families to navigate 10 to 15 apps, while a separate national survey found more than two-thirds of districts rely on five to six channels to reach parents.

For some families, participation also depends on having the technology to access those systems. Allie Davis, a mother of two in Tennessee, says her daughters’ public school relied almost exclusively on an app, creating barriers for parents without smartphones, who had to find another way to access messages.

“The systems have helped some kinds of information get out there,” says Dr. Steven Sheldon, associate professor at the Johns Hopkins University School of Education and co-director of the Center on School, Family, and Community Partnerships, “but they've put up a wall between families and other information that's more closely tied to their child's learning.”

Even tech-savvy parents feel the strain. “I’m technologically literate...and I still get confused,” Volk says. “I can’t imagine what this is like for our English language learners and their families.”

“The systems are not intuitive to everybody,” adds Sheldon. Families with different levels of digital literacy, educational backgrounds, or English proficiency may experience those systems very differently. “You have to assume that it is accessible not just for the well-educated, highly literate families,” says Sheldon, “but for families whose first language isn't necessarily English.”

***

Parents' focus, too, has become a limited resource. “We are competing for families’ time and attention,” says Brian Prybil, Deputy Superintendent of Moline Coal Valley School District in Illinois. “More communication does not automatically create more trust. Better communication does.”

Keeping up takes bandwidth, and every notification and reminder asks parents to spend a little more of it. “The online systems are really not helping students learn,” adds Sheldon, “they're just sort of billboards of information. Parents become the advocate and the manager. They're the ones who have to find the information and make sense of it."

Prybil compares today’s communication landscape to the overflowing teacher mailboxes schools once relied on. “When it became overloaded, you almost became immune to it,” he says. “The same thing can happen now with inboxes, apps, portals, and phone notifications.”

For parents, that means attention becomes harder to direct. “When everything is important,” Prybil adds, “nothing feels important.” Instead of triaging genuine priorities, parents are left sorting through a flood of pings and push notifications with no clear sense of what's urgent and what can wait.

And that sense of constant, ambiguous urgency can have unintended consequences. A study examining teacher-parent messaging groups found that information overload and irrelevant messages significantly increased communication fatigue, which in turn was associated with a greater intention to mute notifications or leave the group altogether. “In some ways,” Woods says, “having more options has actually made it harder to know where to look and easier to miss important information.”

***

Schools, though, are often just trying to cover their bases. For many educators, redundancy feels like the safer bet. “As a teacher, you don’t want to be criticized for not communicating enough," says Ohio middle school teacher Erin Beers. “It almost feels like overcommunicating is safer.” That defensive instinct has only grown since the pandemic, when schools rapidly adopted new communication tools, and, as Florida-based former teacher and principal Marlee Strawn observed, parents’ expectations shifted right along with them.

Families who once received occasional updates suddenly had to keep up with messages from six, seven, sometimes eight teachers, each with a different style and expectations. “Imagine going to your job and having seven different bosses with seven different expectations,” Strawn says, “It would be incredibly difficult.”

Schools often repeat important information because they know families don’t all receive it the same way. Florida mother and PTO president, Jennifer Grosneck, says her son’s school sends announcements home through a trio of approaches. “When we combine these—messages sent home, highlighted on the weekly call, and posted on our socials—we generally see the best response,” she says.

“The strongest partnership programs,” according to leading researcher Dr. Joyce Epstein, professor of education and director of the Center on School, Family, and Community Partnerships at Johns Hopkins University, “rarely, if ever, send messages just one way.” She says that kind of repetition is intentional, and agrees schools shouldn’t rely on a single communication channel because different families access information in different ways.

***

For decades, researcher Dr. Epstein has argued that communication isn't the goal of family engagement, partnership is.

In her framework for school, family, and community partnerships, communication is one of six types of involvement that help schools and families work together to support students. Rather than expecting every family to adapt to the same system, Epstein argues that schools should first understand how families want to receive information and use various approaches to reach them.

Her longtime collaborator, Dr. Sheldon, doesn’t believe schools have a communication problem so much as a relationship problem. “It’s still about informing,” he says, “not about building relationships.”

Paper flyers gave way to robocalls, emails, parent portals, apps, and text messages. The tools changed, Sheldon argues, but the goal often didn’t.

“What families want to know is how their kids are doing,” he says, including whether they’re meeting expectations, where they’re struggling, and what kind of support would help. Instead, parents often receive “very general and generic information,” while the updates they actually want are specific to their own child.

But for Sheldon, the concern is when parents have been “bombarded three times with one message,” and whether that can realistically be considered genuine communication or simply the same message repeated.

Technology has made it easier to distribute information, Sheldon says, but schools haven’t fully embraced its potential to foster conversation with families. “The culture of schools,” he says, “hasn’t shifted to a mindset that is really embracing technology as a way of doing two-way communication.”

Dr. Kara Stern, Director of Education at SchoolStatus, puts it simply: “Family communication,” she says, “is an exercise in relationship and trust-building, not compliance.” But, adds Sheldon, meaningful communication and trust-building has to evolve from two-way communication, not one-way broadcasting.

Ultimately, Sheldon argues, schools should think less about delivering information and more about what families are expected to do with it. Some communication exists to meet compliance requirements, some to keep parents informed, and other messages help families understand how their child is doing or support learning at home. “This is where we need more conversations,” he says.

The promise of ever-evolving technology, especially as schools embraced hybrid tools after the pandemic, was simpler, more seamless communication. More apps and reminders were supposed to make information-sharing easier. Instead, they’ve often given families more places to look. As schools continue investing in new ways to reach parents, families are still left to find the time and mental bandwidth for one more notification, one more login, and one more thing to remember.

Molly Wadzeck is a freelance writer and mother of three. Born and raised in Waco, Texas, she moved to the Finger Lakes region of New York, where she worked in animal rescue and welfare for many years. She writes essays and poems about feminism, mental health, parenting, pop culture, and politics. She is usually late because she stopped to pet a dog. She tweets at @mollywadzeck.

On my first day working in the front office, I made thirty five ice packs (this averaged out to approximately one ice pack every 11 minutes, for the entire school day). I oversaw three lunches (only one child fell, their lunch tray sliding the entire length of the cafeteria, before their chocolate milk hit my ballet flat and splashed up my leg), downloaded one Spanish language interpreter for a parent who stopped by the office, and walked a sick child home three blocks in the rain, because their parent was unable to come pick them up. I ended the day doing literal karate chops;the bus for the after school martial arts program didn't show, and there were 15 kids upset and ready for some karate moves led by me, a woman who has never trained a day in her life.

I’ve long watched the admins at my kids’ elementary school and figured I knew the job: answering phones, maybe if things got exciting you'd get to make an announcement about student of the week over the loudspeaker. This is what I thought they did when I was a kid, and honestly that vision didn’t change much as I parented my kids through elementary school. This was still the version of the front office I had in my head when I signed up to substitute at the elementary school across the street from my house. I pictured long nails clicking away cheerfully on a keyboard, cute kids in the background waving at me saying “Hello, Ms. Kathleen!”, an occasional hug, and maybe even a phone call or two. The reality couldn't have been farther from that.

Instead, I found the epicenter of the public school funding crisis, the bucket that was absorbing all the holes. Nursing is part of the job now, and not just ice packs and Band-Aids. They're the ones deciding whether a stomachache is a stomachache or a call home, then administering the medicine that comes with that call. Lunch duty is part of the job, which means they are also, functionally, a waitress, a bouncer, and a janitor. Tracking every single kid's whereabouts, all day, is a legal requirement, not a courtesy, so if a parent is even five minutes late for pickup, it's recorded. In fact, tracking every single body in the building, literal hundreds of people, is the expectation: to know who is background-checked and approved to be on campus, to be sure students are safe.

As I've subbed, I've taken to thinking of the school as an airplane: the front office is the pilot, air traffic control, and ground crew all at once. The stakes feel that high, and the logistical difficulty that complex. Which is fine, except for the parents' expectation that they are, well, also the flight attendants.

This is important information for you, as a parent, to have. When you or your kids arrive, you're expecting a flight attendant: a warm greeting, someone showing your kid to their assigned seat. What you're actually walking into is a cockpit mid-flight, with no idea what kind of morning it's been. But there are things you can do to make it easier on your front office administrators, and I will say, they do notice. (They notice who makes things harder, too…. Just, as a warning):

Be aware of what you're walking into. There are likely things happening that you, as a parent, cannot and should not be aware of, and it may be an emergency. If you have to wait to be greeted, know it's not personal. If they seem stressed, it's because they are: a kid may have walked in with pink eye, or a parent may have called with a family emergency, or the district probably implemented a new attendance software that no one can access yet. Being patient and understanding is your best move.

Please email the school if your kid is going to be out. The alternative is a front office staffer trying to figure out, by process of elimination, whether your child is home sick or unaccounted for. Ask the front desk how they prefer to be communicated with, and then be sure to inform them about illness, appointments, or late arrivals.

Fill out your volunteer paperwork, and make your spouse do the same, early in the year. The new rules about getting approved to be in the classroom can be a pain in the neck, and the office isn't the reason why, but they're the ones who have to chase it down. Anything you can do to make their jobs easier is desperately appreciated.

And finally, if you'd like to befriend your front office staff, talk to them like professional adults who deserve more than apple-themed gifts. These are people juggling a hundred things at once, ice packs and applesauce pouches among them, and they didn't sign up for this because of the paycheck. They did it because they believe kids, and schools, are worth showing up for. You might need to wait a second before they say hello. Please know they're glad you're there, and they love your kid so much that they already made them an ice pack.

Kathleen Donahoe is a writer and poet living in Seattle. Publications include Cup of Jo, Romper, NYTimes and her popular humor substack A Little Laugh. She is currently writing her first novel.

Finding back-to-school clothes, especially with a tween, can feel like navigating a body image minefield. Puberty weight gain, pressure to fit in with peers, sexist dress codes—one wrong move feels like it could spell disaster. And that’s before you’ve figured out how to pay for it all.

Maybe you have your own painful memories of suffering in stiff school clothes—or seeing a scowl of parental disapproval as you twirled in a dress you hoped to buy. Stylist Dacy Gillespie told me almost everyone she works with has “deeply imprinted memories of what adults said to them about their clothes, and by association, their bodies. I’ve heard many stories about what mothers said to daughters in dressing rooms. What may seem like an offhand comment can end up being the thing kids remember most.”

Most parents want to avoid sending critical messages about their kids’ appearance. But we can do more than just avoid harm. And this annual wardrobe update presents opportunities to help children build an even more positive body image.

When parents normalize body changes and focus on a child’s comfort and preferences—rather than on what’s "flattering" (more on that in a moment)—kids get to learn a powerful lesson that will serve them their whole lives: clothes should fit your body and not the other way around.

Kids in larger bodies deserve options

If you have a kid in a bigger body, you can feel like you’re shopping on Hard Mode. Michelle, a mom in California, shared memories of the moment when the children’s section no longer worked for her child: “so much trauma around back-to-school shopping for my then-fourth grade daughter who no longer fit in kids’ clothing but still wanted the cute characters.” For kids who need adult-size clothing “but still want Pokémon and Hello Kitty,” Michelle recommends the store Hot Topic. “I remember actually crying when we discovered that option because shopping had been so difficult up to that point.”

When looking for kids’ plus-size clothing, Gillespie urges parents to “make sure you’re not prematurely putting them in adult styles. I’ve heard horror stories of girls who ended up looking like twelve-year-old accountants.” In addition to Hot Topic, Gillespie recommends the brand Justice—no longer its own store (RIP) but available at Walmart—which carries girls’ designs appropriate for elementary school and not a cubicle. For boys, Kohl’s offers a selection of “husky sizes” (yes, that term still exists!). You can also find affordable options for all genders at Old Navy and JCPenney. Lands’ End carries wide size ranges, often with adjustable-waists, including items that often meet school uniform requirements.

Normalize that bodies change—and that sizing is a sh*tshow

Michelle said she and her daughter “have always made a bit of a joke about how ridiculous clothing sizes are even within the same store. I have done my best to take the power out of being a particular size because it is so arbitrary.”

Zoë Bisbing, body image therapist and creator of Body Positive Home, suggests looking for clothes that have some literal wiggle room or fabric with stretch. “I want parents to be thinking, if my child plumped up in the next few months, would this still work for them?”

Gillespie and Bisbing both recommend offering kids multiple sizes to try on. And if your child finds something they really like, consider also buying the item in one size up if that’s an accessible option. This strategy can be especially useful when kids wear uniforms so you have a few items on hand for the next growth spurt.

Children who are bigger aren’t the only ones who find clothing a bit stressful, of course. “There are also kids who are insecure about being tiny,” Bisbing said. “Shopping for clothes can be hard if you're, you know, a 12-year-old boy who is still in size 8. He might not care or he might have feelings about it. Be prepared to notice out loud, like, it's kind of stupid that these sizes are ages.”

Forget “flattering” and let kids find their own style

Gillespie feels strongly about avoiding the word “flattering”—she even titled her newsletter Unflattering—because of its “association with optical illusions that seek to make the body look as small as possible.” And the drawbacks of this term go beyond typical diet culture beliefs about thinness because “the idea of what’s ‘flattering’ is subjective. Trend cycles have a lot to do with it. Millennials might have grown up watching ‘What Not to Wear’ and believe an empire waist is the most flattering thing, but today, oversized everything is more in style. Your kids are probably going to be more in touch with this than you are.”

“Clothing can and should be one of the earliest ways to practice body autonomy for kids,” Gillespie said. Not interfering with our kids’ selections can be tough when their preferences don’t match our ideas of what would look best. Gillespie acknowledges she had to learn this lesson herself: “Listen, I wish I could have kept dressing my boys like little French children forever, but they wanted performance tees and sport shorts, so that’s what they wear.” Letting children take the lead on their fashion choices not only helps them feel better in their clothes but also “contributes to their sense of self and the process of individuation,” she added.

Crop tops can be Kryptonite for parents who otherwise feel strongly about supporting body confidence. “Remember that anything you say could be the thing that sticks with your child for the rest of life, so unless they are truly in danger, try and hold your tongue,” Gillespie advised.

If your child seems happy with an outfit but asks for your opinion, Bisbing offers a line she recently learned: “That suits you.” And she encourages parents to focus on asking questions like, “Does it work for your body? Can you move? Can you jump?” And if kids aren’t feeling it, don’t force it: “Try to make it about functionality, comfort. And if it doesn't work, get it off your body! Like, we don't want that. Only things that work for us here!” These moments prioritize the child’s embodied physical experience over our visual assessment.

Focus on comfort and honor their sensory needs

The number one thing to emphasize is feeling comfy in their clothes. As Gillespie notes, “physical comfort is a basic requirement so kids can run and play and sensory issues don’t distract them when they’re trying to learn.” If fabrics feel itchy, clingy, or just off in some way, clothes also become “a body image irritant” because, as Bisbing explains, “when we are experiencing sensory distress, we are hyper aware of our bodies.” That preoccupation increases body consciousness, making kids more vulnerable to wondering, “What does this look like? Does it look like the way it feels?” In other words, clothes that feel bad on their body can make them feel bad about their body.

Make the shopping experience about more than clothes

Dr. Charlotte Markey, a psychology professor and body image researcher who has literally written the book(s) on this stuff, leans into the idea that “fashion can be fun and doesn’t have to be taken all that seriously.” Her annual ritual with her daughter who loves bargain-hunting sounds pretty darn delightful: “Since she was about 11, we’ve taken the train into New York City every August. She’s given a budget and we look for deals at the huge Old Navy and H&M. We don’t just shop; we get dinner at our favorite Mexican place and walk around Central Park. It’s about getting that elusive first-day outfit but also spending time together.” Finding your own ritual—getting mall-kiosk pretzel bites or going out for ice cream on the way home, for instance—can help build positive associations with the practical task of buying clothes.

Follow their lead—and lower your expectations

Fantasies about bonding with our child while shopping don’t always match up with the reality of the situation, however. Bisbing invites parents to acknowledge, “I want to skip into a department store with my kids,” and yet they may be miserable and you’re frustrated, thinking, “this is supposed to be fucking fun!”

Accept that for some kids, that just isn’t going to happen. “The smells, the lights, the stimulation of the store, the decisions” can be too much, Bisbing said. Your kids may do much better trying things on at home. “If there's a way to give some choice, it’s meaningful to offer some agency in the experience.”

Getting rid of old clothes teaches lessons

Helping kids get rid of things they’ve outgrown not only prevents school morning meltdowns but also acknowledges expected growth and development. Bisbing’s go-to recommendation is to take a Sharpie marker and an old shopping bag and write, “Not working for my body anymore bag.” Making this a matter-of-fact part of family life—maybe you’re adding your own ill-fitting items to the bag, too—is a way of “normalizing and neutralizing what can be a very shameful, confusing experience” in diet culture. “So it's like, okay, just a reminder, we're getting some new clothes, so find whatever doesn't work. You know where it goes.”

Because so many of us didn’t have this kind of body-positive approach when we were growing up, we need to give ourselves grace if we’ve been repeating old patterns up to this point. Bisbing reminds parents that when you’re affirming your child’s size and preferences, “you're breaking a cycle in this moment, you know? It's very empowering.”

Oona Hanson is a writer, educator, and parent coach who specializes in helping families navigate diet culture and eating disorders. A mother of two, she lives in Los Angeles with her husband.

In over 20 years of working with neurodivergent children — from special education teacher to parent coach — I’ve heard a lot of bad advice (and even, before I was humbled by having my own kids, dispensed some of it). Many so-called parenting rules, from “just make a sticker chart!” to “Have you tried giving them a time out?”, just don’t apply. But amongst the pearls of true wisdom out there is one I repeat often to my husband, to myself: “Transitions are hard.”

You know this well because you just survived the Summer Shuffle, a tour de force of new routines and contexts for your sensitive kiddo (and it’s not too easy on us adults, either!). Well now comes the mother of all transitions: back to school. This may mean more consistent childcare, structure, and learning, but for many neurodivergent children also comes with a whole host of potential anxieties and adjustments. You can, and will, get through it, but if you’d like a little help along the way, here are my tried-and-true reminders for a smoothest-as-possible time.

Share about your child ahead of time.

If you or your kid have anxiety about the new school year, or you’ve been burned by an experience where an uninformed educator had a rough start with your child, don’t be afraid of reaching out with info about your child and how they work best. Even if they have an IEP or 504 Plan, or another formal document describing what they need in the classroom, these things can get lost in the shuffle of the new year even with the best of intentions. With gratitude and brevity, you should always feel free to contact a principal, incoming classroom teacher, or case manager with a friendly reminder about what will help your child get off to a good start. If you’re starting at a new school or don’t feel confident with the official paperwork, make your own “tip sheet” (if you’re into AI, you may get a great first draft by feeding any good reports about your child into a Chatbot (learning mode off) and going from there.

Ask for some information back, too!

Just as you may want to prepare the teacher for your child, it also might be helpful, depending on your kiddo, to prepare them for the class. Humbly request a teacher assignment ahead of time and see what happens, ask for a picture or a few FAQs about a new teacher, or request a brief classroom visit during the teacher prep days leading up to school (IMHO this is a very reasonable request for any hesitant student, but especially if your child has an IEP or 504). Bring the teacher a coffee if you like.

You can even prepare for unpredictability by discussing the options with a worried child. For example, some kids might want to draw their classroom as they saw it or imagine it, and talk through the idea that they might sit in the front by the teacher, or over by the door. They might have old friends at their table, or new ones. Through such conversation, you might even arrive at an opportunity for your child to practice a little self-advocacy, which is the number one skill they’ll need to move through the world as someone who thinks and feels a bit differently than others. If they note to you, for example, that they love sitting near the teacher because it’s easier to give them a secret signal, or see the board, or not face so many distracting peers, you can turn this into a direct request. Some kids will be able to ask their teacher on their first day, others may work with you to write a note or email.

Take it easy.

Remember what I said about transitions being hard? The first few weeks of the school year are not the time to start your kid on a deeper dental regimen or return to after-school reading intervention. While keeping your own needs and schedule in mind, time outside of school should be as cozy, calm, and connected as much as possible. That doesn’t mean you’ve got to call in sick to work and play with your child all afternoon. Depending on the child, that kind of attention can actually be quite exhausting! If your friend just ran a marathon, you wouldn’t take them out dancing (if you would, I need more friends like that!). You would draw them a bath and give them a big bowl of pasta to eat in it. School is like a marathon for a lot of neurodivergent kids. Don’t tack on extra miles by dragging them all over town or having people over for dinner – or if you must (we’ve all got errands to run), let them plug in an audiobook, stay in the car, and don't take it personally.

Don’t sweat homework

If you have the unfortunate luck of attending a school that jumps straight into homework at the beginning of the year, particularly for elementary-aged kids, kindly request that your child be excused for a few weeks, or if they are young and there is no real consequence (many elementary school teachers don’t really track who does homework, or mind if some students are excused), just don't ask them to do it. Why? Because there is little research pointing to the positive effects of homework for young children, and some that shows that even for older children, too much can have negative impacts on their mental health. For many families with neurodivergent children, where the content or executive functioning demands of homework are particularly challenging for the child, the tension caused by getting your kid to do their homework just isn’t worth it, especially if the school day is already completely exhausting. Your priority right now is to keep not just your kid but your family system from burning out on this transition. If homework is essential or seems very helpful, I’d recommend outsourcing adult support to the chiller parent, an educational therapist, or even a local college student. Again, if you’ve got documentation of a disability (504 or IEP), limiting or reducing homework can even be a formal accommodation.

Grease the wheels of the morning routine

Even if your kid has been getting up for camp all summer, chances are something is different with the school year, whether it’s timing, expectations, or simply vibes. It’s time to bring back not only your old tricks on structuring the morning, but also whatever creativity and grace you’ve perhaps mustered in the past to make the morning a little lighter. The low hanging fruit is this: First, get rid of any morning demands that aren’t necessary (do they really need to brush their teeth twice a day?) or that can be done at another time (in my family, we call the clothes we pick out the night before a “floor girl.”). Then, get something other than the sound of your voice to mark time – I recommend these. I promise you, your kids have no idea what 10 minutes or 8:30 means; give them a hand. Finally, choose peace over perfection. Especially in these first few weeks, if your kid eats a protein bar in the car instead of a balanced breakfast at the table, brushes their hair on the walk to school, but there’s less tension and more capacity to tackle a big school day, I say that’s a win.

Transitions are hard for adults too, but you’ll get through this. If it helps, make a personal or family calendar that reminds you this will not last forever. Put a note to ramp up the expectations on, say, October 1st. But for now, fill the freezer with popsicles for that late summer/early fall heat wave, find a new favorite family TV show (have you seen Taskmaster? Did you know Paramount+ has reruns of Nickelodeon's Legends of the Hidden Temple?) and know that this, too, shall pass.

When I was pregnant with my son, I treated my baby registry like I was provisioning a bunker.

I learned enough about bottle nipples, gas and flow rates that I could have delivered a small dinner-party soliloquy on which bottle worked best for slow drinkers, gassy babies and parents slowly losing their minds. I compared stroller weights, diaper ingredients, bassinet dimensions, wipe warmers, humidifiers, pacifier shapes and the moral implications of plastic toys. I bought the practical things. Then I bought practical things for the practical things. I was prepared for spit-up, blowouts, nap math, night feeds and the possibility that one tiny person might require 400 muslin blankets.

And sure, some of that helped. But the stuff I remember is not the spreadsheet stuff.

It was the easy-grip colorful ball my baby and I rolled back and forth while he giggled, gurgled and began what I can only assume was his training for future travel soccer stardom. It was the tiny T-shirt with the built-in superhero cape when my toddler became obsessed with Batman and Superman. It was the heavenly bath soap that made one four-minute shower feel like I had briefly rejoined the human race. It was the gloriously pointless cashmere baby blanket, dry clean only, for an infant, which should have been illegal and which I still can not throw away years later.

Those were the things that created weird, sweet, unexpected moments. They made survival mode feel softer.

That is the spirit of the Romper Registry.

Baby gear should be practical. Of course it should. The car seat needs to work. The diapers need to hold. The sleep space needs to be safe. The bottles need to keep everyone from spiraling at 3 a.m. But inside all that necessary stuff, there should still be room for beauty, creativity and a little harmless nonsense. Parenting is hard enough without pretending every purchase has to justify itself in a spreadsheet.

This is not only a checklist of the only baby gear you need. Add the diapers. Add the stroller. Add whatever else keeps the wheels from flying off. Then leave room for the stuff that makes you happy.

The cowboy hat mobile. The lemon beanie. The dachshund-shaped basket. The smart bassinet that rocks like the tired arm you no longer trust. The tiny going-home outfit that will wreck you later. The eye patches for the parent who discovers that “tired” has so many layers.

The baby needs plenty. So do you.

The Diapering Stuff That Feels Weirdly Fancy

Pampers Swaddlers Diapers

Pampers Swaddlers Diapers

Swaddlers -

These are diapers with main character energy. Pampers Swaddlers are relied on time and time again because they are just that good.

Calpak Diaper Backpack

Calpak Diaper Backpack With Laptop Sleeve in Black

Calpak -

This is the diaper bag for the parent who still has a laptop, a life and maybe a flight to catch. Calpak’s diaper backpack has a padded 14-inch laptop sleeve, dedicated bottle pockets, multiple compartments, a quick magnetic closure, water-resistant materials, adjustable straps and a luggage sleeve with a hidden pocket for smaller valuables. It comes in a half dozen colors, but black gives “I packed diapers and contracts” energy, which is a very specific parenting era.

Pampers Sensitive Wipes

Pampers Sensitive Wipes

Pampers -

These wipes are great those sensitive little tushies. They’re hypoallergenic and fragrance-free. But the greatest part might just be that the packaging actually keeps the wipes wet in between uses. Genius.

Lalo Wipeable Baby Changing Pad

Lalo Oatmeal White Wipeable Baby Diaper Changing Pad

Lalo -

Diaper changes are not glamorous. The setup can still be good-looking and easy to move where you need it. This Lalo changing pad has a wipeable, non-absorbent surface that resists liquids and odors, plus soft foam, slip-free feet and an adjustable safety strap. It is portable enough to use beyond one fixed changing station, which matters because babies do not politely wait until they are back in the nursery.

Babyletto Swell Changing Table

Babyletto Swell Changing Table

Babyletto -

A changing table can be a slab with shelves. This one decided to have a personality. Babyletto’s Swell changing table has rounded posts, wave-like edges and two open shelves for diapers, wipes, creams and the 11 other things you suddenly need within arm’s reach. It also comes with a 1-inch waterproof changing pad, so the diaper station looks designed without forgetting what it is actually here to do.

The Things They’ll Wear Once And You’ll Remember Forever

Kissy Kissy Sophie La Girafe Print Footie

Kissy Kissy Sophie La Girafe Print Footie

Kissy Kissy -

This is the leaving-the-hospital outfit. The one that makes the baby look impossibly tiny in the car seat. The one that gets folded into a keepsake trunk before anyone has the emotional strength to wash it. Kissy Kissy’s Sophie la Girafe footie is made from 100% pima cotton, with snaps from neckline to feet for easier changes and mitten cuffs in the smallest sizes to help prevent newborn scratches. Soft, sweet and exactly right for the first ride home.

Kissy Kissy Sophie La Girafe Print Hat

Kissy Kissy Sophie La Girafe Print Hat

Kissy Kissy -

Of course the footie needs the matching hat. The baby may only tolerate it for six minutes. That is enough. Pair it with the Sophie la Girafe footie for the full going-home look, then take the photo you will use to ruin yourself emotionally for the next 18 years.

Stonz Cruiser Natural Shoes For Babies

Stonz Cruiser Natural Shoes For Babies

Stonz Cruiser -

These are for the baby who is done being decorative and has decided to become mobile, which is rude but thrilling. Stonz’s Cruiser Natural shoes are made for crawlers and early walkers, with a recycled cotton and cotton canvas upper, a lightweight flexible sole, a wide toe box and a zero-drop design that lets tiny feet move more naturally. They come in a bunch of soft colors and look like real shoes, not miniature office loafers, which should be illegal before preschool.

Magnetic Me Modal Magnetic Footie

Magnetic Me Modal Magnetic Footie in Night Cap

Magnetic Me -

This is the baby outfit for parents who do not yet know they are about to develop strong feelings about snaps. The Magnetic Me footie uses magnetic closures and comes in a tiny nightcap print, which feels right for a person whose entire job is somehow sleeping and not sleeping. It is soft, practical and cute enough for every “we’re home” photo.

Wild Waza Gauze Bundle Set

Wild Wawa Gauze Bundle Set in Embroidered Stars

Wild Wawa -

This is baby dressing at its softest and least shouty. Wild Wawa’s gauze bundle set is made from lightweight cotton gauze with delicate embroidered stars, giving it that heirloom look without turning the baby into a tiny porcelain doll. It is airy, sweet and easy enough for slow days, first photos, couch snuggles and the kind of ordinary morning you will later decide was actually everything.

Angel Dear Charcuterie Cuties Short Sleeve Bodysuit

Angel Dear Charcuterie Cuties Short Sleeve Bodysuit

Charcuterie Cuties -

Babies cannot eat charcuterie. They can, however, dress like the best part of the party. This short-sleeve bodysuit brings the tiny cheese-board energy without the choking hazard, which is exactly the kind of absurd baby outfit a registry should make room for.

Janie And Jack The Lemon Baby Romper

Janie and Jack The Lemon Baby Romper

Janie and Jack -

This is what happens when a newborn outfit understands the assignment. The romper is sunny, tiny and absurdly sweet, with the kind of heirloom-photo energy that makes everyone in the room say, “Wait, put the hat on too. Bonus: there’s also a beanie to complete the look.

Uncommon Goods Little Dumpling Booties

Uncommon Goods Little Dumpling Booties

Uncommon Goods -

These are baby booties with a punchline and a storage situation. The handmade wool booties are shaped like tiny dumplings, with little “chive” details, pinched-looking ankles and a felt steamer basket to tuck them into when the baby is done being delicious.

Little English Crochet Cardigan

Little English Crochet Cardigan

Little English -

This is the cardigan you buy because babies deserve one piece of clothing that looks like it belongs in a family photo, a keepsake box and possibly a tiny countryside novel. Little English’s crochet sweater is made from Peruvian pima cotton with hand-crocheted details and wooden buttons. It is cozy without being schlubby, sweet without being fussy and exactly the kind of baby layer that makes everyone suddenly care about “outfit texture.”

The Gear That Actually Earns Its Footprint

Doona X Car Seat & Stroller

Doona X Car Seat & Stroller in Ocean Blue

Doona -

This is the new generation of the Doona Car Seat & Stroller, which means the cult-favorite “wait, the car seat is also a stroller?” trick got an upgrade. The fully integrated travel system moves from car seat to stroller in seconds and now has three stroller recline positions: Sit, Relax and Lean Back. This is for the parent who wants one less thing to fold, lift, collapse, clip, unclip or cry beside in a parking lot.

State Stroller Organizer

State Stroller Organizer in Olive

State -

This is for the parent who wants the diaper bag nearby, but not necessarily attached to their body. State’s stroller organizer clips onto the stroller and has space for diapers, wipes, baby essentials, two insulated bottle pockets, a front zippered phone pocket, a key lanyard and a back mesh pocket for the stuff you do not want touching the clean stuff.

Nanit Smart Baby Monitor

Nanit Smart Baby Monitor

Nanit -

A baby monitor is technically practical. This one feels like a full baby operations center. The Nanit Smart Baby Monitor System has crystal-clear video, real-time notifications, personalized sleep insights and a dedicated touchscreen, plus an app that centralizes nap live streams, feeding tracking, sleep data and those tiny crib moments you will swear you do not need to save until you save all of them.

BabyBjörn Carrier

BabyBjörn Baby Carrier Harmony

BabyBjörn -

There are baby carriers and then there are baby carriers that make you feel like you might actually leave the house before noon. The BabyBjörn Harmony has structured support and a softer, sleeker look than the panic harness you may be picturing. Good for walks, errands and the phase when the baby decides your torso is their only acceptable address.

Nuna BRYN Newborn Rocker

Nuna BRYN Newborn Rocker

BRYN -

This looks like adult furniture. That is the trick. The Nuna BRYN newborn rocker is crafted with maple or black walnut wood and clean lines that blend into a grown-up room, but it still does the baby work: it attaches to the BRYN highchair, can be used on the floor as a rocker, has a 5-point padded harness, a magnetic buckle, kickstands to pause rocking and a removable, machine-washable seat pad.

Solly Baby Brown Taupe Baby Wrap

Solly Baby Brown Taupe Baby Wrap

Solly Baby -

This is for the newborn days when the baby wants to live on your chest and you would still like access to both hands. The Solly Baby wrap is made from lightweight TENCEL Modal, fits adults of all sizes and works from birth to about 9 to 12 months, up to 25 pounds. It is soft, breathable and neutral enough to look like part of an outfit, not a rescue device.

Babyletto Kiwi Pro Swivel Glider

Babyletto Kiwi Pro Ocean Blue Swivel Glider Power Recliner Nursery Chair

Babyletto -

The beloved Kiwi chair understands marathon feeding sessions as an endurance sport. This updated version keeps the swivel, glide and power recline, then adds the stuff tired caregivers will notice at 3 a.m.: an adjustable night-light with three brightness settings, a USB charging port, power lumbar support and a height-adjustable power headrest. It is a nursery chair built for the baby years, but it reads like grown-up furniture you would not mind keeping long after the bottles are gone.

UPPAbaby Soma Smart Bassinet

UPPAbaby Soma Smart Bassinet

Soma -

This is the bassinet for parents who have bounced a baby in the exact same pattern for 47 minutes and thought, “There has to be a machine for this.” The Soma gently rocks baby up and down and side to side, with five motion patterns, five speeds and four sleep sounds you can control from the app. It also has breathable mesh sidewalls, adjustable height and a built-in storage basket, so the whole setup feels high-tech without looking like a robot moved into your nursery.

Helix Crib Mattress

Helix Crib Mattress

Helix -

This is the crib mattress for the parent who has already gone too deep on airflow, waterproofing and whether anything in the nursery can ever truly be clean. Helix’s new crib mattress has a breathable honeycomb cover, full-coverage waterproof protection and a zip-off washable cover that can be removed and washed when life gets leaky. It is made with CertiPUR-US foam and GREENGUARD Gold Certified materials and assembled in the USA, which gives the practical registry item a little more peace-of-mind energy.

The Least Cute Thing You Will Use Constantly

Loftie Night Light

Loftie Night Light

Loftie -

This is for the hallway shuffle, the bathroom trip, the 2 a.m. bottle and the diaper change you are trying to complete without telling everyone’s nervous system it is morning. Loftie’s plug-in night lights give off a warm amber or red glow, turn on at dusk and off at dawn with a built-in light sensor and stay cool to the touch. They are not nursery decor. They are how you see where you are going without blasting the house awake.

Momcozy KleanPal Pro Baby Bottle Washer

Momcozy KleanPal Pro Baby Bottle Washer, Sterilizer & Dryer

Momcozy -

Nobody dreams about washing bottle parts. Nobody. This all-in-one machine washes, sterilizes and dries baby bottles, which means one appliance can take over the tiny sink-side factory that appears in your kitchen after baby arrives.

Shark NeverChange Air Purifier

Shark NeverChange Air Purifier Compact Pro

Shark -

A nursery air purifier is not adorable. It is, however, the kind of thing a parent may appreciate more with every stuffy nose, mystery smell and open-window pollen day. This compact Shark model purifies up to 250 square feet in one hour, shows real-time air quality changes with CleanSense IQ and uses long-lasting NeverChange HEPA filtration, so you are not adding “remember to buy another filter” to the newborn to-do list.

Skylight Calendar

Skylight Calendar

Skylight -

This is technically for the adults. Still registry-worthy. The Skylight Calendar puts the family schedule in one visible place, which helps share the mental load once the baby has a pediatrician, daycare, backup daycare, music class, backup-backup daycare and a social calendar somehow more complex than yours.

Dyson Gen5detect Absolute Vacuum

Dyson Gen5detect Absolute Vacuum

Dyson -

This is the least whimsical thing on the registry. Also, register for it. Your floors will never be crumb-free again. The Dyson Gen5detect Absolute has up to 70 minutes of run time, 280 air watts of suction, a dust-detect sensor, HEPA filtration and a cleaner head that illuminates dust on hard floors, which is horrifying and useful in equal measure. It also de-tangles hair and converts to a handheld, because life with a baby eventually becomes snacks in the stroller, crumbs under the high chair, fuzz on the play mat and one parent muttering, “How is there a Cheerio in my shoe?”

The Nursery Things That Look Like You Had A Vision Board

Lorena Canals Sparky Dachsund Basket

Lorena Canals Sparky Dachshund Basket

Lorena Canals -

A storage basket shaped like a shaggy dachshund is not strictly necessary. That is the entire point. Use it for toys, blankets or the very important toddler game of putting things in and taking them out again.

Lambs & Ivy Mobile

Lambs & Ivy Country Western Cowboy Hat Musical Crib Mobile

Lambs & Ivy -

For the baby whose nursery theme is “tiny rodeo, but make it soft.” This cowboy hat mobile has plush Western details and a musical feature, which means it can soothe the baby while quietly committing to the bit.

House of Noa Little Nomad Play Mat

House of Noa Little Nomad Play Mat in Winslow

House of Noa -

This is babyproofing without surrendering your space to garish primary colors. House of Noa’s Little Nomad Play Mat is made from soft EVA foam, with modular tiles, a wipe-clean surface and a textured feel for tiny feet learning how floors work. The Winslow print is inspired by vintage Persian rugs, but the brand has a whole slew of patterns, colors and sizes to choose from, so you can pick the one that makes your floor look intentional instead of “a baby lives here now.”

Nestig Personalized Wall Art Set

Nestig Palomino Horse Personalized Wall Art Set

Nestig -

Now the cowboy hat mobile has a whole little universe. This set of three framed, hand-illustrated horse prints leans into the Western nursery theme without going full dude ranch. Choose natural, walnut or white wood frames, then personalize the art so the baby’s room feels less “we bought a mobile” and more “yes, there was a vision.”

Hatch Baby Sound Machine & Night Light

Hatch Baby Sound Machine & Night Light

Hatch Baby -

The Hatch is for every parent who will one day have a strong opinion about pink noise. It combines a sound machine, night light and app-controlled sleep routines, with sleep guides, real-time sleep consultant chat through Hatch+ and a big button you can hit without fumbling for your phone during a 2 a.m. diaper change. Use it for newborn nights, toddler nap cues and the eventual Time-to-Rise negotiations with the child who thinks 5:12 a.m. is a reasonable way to start the day.

Rifle Paper Co. Peel & Stick Wallpaper

Rifle Paper Co. City Maps Peel & Stick Wallpaper

Rifle Paper Co. -

Oh, the places they’ll go, once they can roll over, hold up their head and stop eating board books. This peel-and-stick wallpaper brings a whole little atlas to the nursery, with illustrated city maps from New York to Tokyo, plus landmarks, waterways and streets tucked into each print. It is removable, which makes it friendly for rentals and accent walls, and Rifle Paper Co. has plenty of other patterns if your baby’s first design opinion is less “global citizen” and more “florals, please.”

The Soft Things You Will Pretend Are For The Baby

Kyte Baby Sleep Bag

Kyte Baby Sleep Bag

Kyte Baby -

A wearable blanket is one of those baby items that starts practical and becomes weirdly precious. This Kyte Baby sleep bag gives the baby a soft, zippered little sleep setup, which is useful for bedtime and for the parental desire to swaddle life into submission.

Quince Cashmere Baby Blanket

Quince Luxe Cable Knit Cashmere Baby Blanket

Luxe -

A cashmere baby blanket is not for the crib. It is for the stroller, the rocking chair, the photo you will stare at forever and the future box of “please do not throw this away” baby keepsakes. The baby will not appreciate the cashmere. You will.

Little Unicorn Knit Swaddle

Little Unicorn Stretch Knit Swaddle in Planets

Little Unicorn -

A space-print swaddle is exactly the kind of thing that makes a newborn look like they arrived with their own tiny universe. Use it for swaddling, stroller shade, tummy time, photos or whatever other baby-related use you discover at 2 a.m. while Googling “is this normal.”

Quince Organic Turkish Cotton Baby Bath Bundle

Quince Organic Turkish Cotton Baby Bath Bundle

Quince -

This is bath time, but with better textiles. The Quince bundle gives you soft towels and washcloths for the slippery post-bath baby stage, when everyone is damp, someone is crying and the only thing standing between chaos and calm is a hooded towel.

Comfy Cubs Muslin Washclothes

Comfy Cubs Muslin Washcloths in Multicolor

comfy cubs -

Baby washcloths disappear into the laundry like socks with better branding, so yes, you want a stack. These Comfy Cubs muslin washcloths come in a multicolor set and are made from 100% muslin cotton, with a soft, absorbent feel for bath time, face wipes, milk-neck cleanup and all the tiny creases where babies somehow store yogurt, lint and mystery.

The Keepsakes You’ll Be Glad You Bought Before You Forgot Everything

Pottery Barn Milestone Block Set

Pottery Barn Kids Modern Blocks Milestone Block Set

Pottery Barn Kids -

Milestone photos need one prop that can do the job without making the whole thing feel like a production. This modern block set marks baby’s big moments, doubles as a play item and can be personalized with their name, which gives it keepsake status without tipping into precious.

Lucy Darling’s Baby’s First Year Memory Book

Lucy Darling Baby’s First Year Celestial Skies Memory Book

Baby's First Year -

This is for the parent who swears they will remember everything and then immediately forgets what day it is. The Celestial Skies memory book gives all those firsts a place to land before they disappear into the blur of feeds, naps and laundry.

Petite Keep Mini Trunk

Petite Keep Mini Trunk in Green

Petite Keep -

This is where the tiny hospital hat goes. And the first birthday candle. And the coming-home outfit you swore you would not get sentimental about. Petite Keep’s green mini trunk is a small keepsake trunk made for baby mementos, with a classic shape that looks like it belongs in the nursery now and in a closet full of memories later.

The Folio Society The Nursey Rhyme Book

The Folio Society The Nursery Rhyme Book

The Folio Society -

A baby will not appreciate a beautiful Folio Society edition. You will. This is the kind of keepsake you buy because one day you want bedtime to feel less like a hostage negotiation and more like something you pictured before you knew what sleep regressions were.

The Toys They Can’t Use Yet, Which Has Never Stopped Anyone

Labebe Rocking Horse

Labebe Baby Sheep Rocking Horse

Labebe -

A plush sheep rocker is an outrageous thing to want before your baby can sit up. Want it anyway. It is sweet, soft and just absurd enough to make the nursery feel like a place where a small person with no neck control somehow already has hobbies.

Oli & Carol Cauliflower Rattle Toy

Oli&Carol Cauliflower Rattle Toy

Oil&Carol -

A cauliflower rattle should not be this chic. Oli&Carol’s little veggie toy is both a rattle and a teether, made from 100% natural rubber from Hevea trees and filled with upcycled cherry seeds for a softer, nature-y sound. It has no holes, which helps keep mold from moving in, and the easy-grip hoop shape makes it simple for tiny hands to hold, chew and fling with great purpose.

Estella New York City Baby Rattles Gift Set

Estella New York City Baby Rattles Gift Set

Estella -

A taxi, an apple, a hot dog and a pretzel walk into a nursery. That is the gift. This New York City rattle set is a strong pick for city babies, former city babies and parents who believe a soft pretzel counts as heritage.

Skip Hop Geometric Wonders Baby Play Gym

Skip Hop Geometric Wonders Baby Play Gym

Skip Hop -

This play gym is for the baby who has no idea they are working on motor skills. It gives them colors, textures, dangling toys and a designated place to kick around with purpose while you narrate tummy time like a tiny personal trainer.

Milou Modern Bath Play Gift Set

Milou Modern Bath Play Gift Set

Milou -

Bath toys are cute until they become a mildew ecosystem. This gift set gives baby plenty to pour, stack, splash and grab, plus a built-in “please put the wet things somewhere” solution for the adult who has to clean up.

Gund Animated Flappy the Elephant

Gund Animated Flappy The Elephant

Gund -

This is the toy that will make every adult in the room perform peek-a-boo like they are auditioning for a children’s theater company. Gund’s animated Flappy the Elephant sings, plays peek-a-boo and flaps his oversized ears when you press his feet. He is soft, surface-washable, has embroidered details and now includes volume control, which is important because baby joy is wonderful and also sometimes needs a lower setting.

The Parent Treats That Belong On The Registry Too

Augustinus Bader The Eye Patches

Augustinus Bader The Eye Patches

Augustinus Bader -

For the parent who is about to learn that “tired” has levels. These hydrogel eye patches are designed to visibly hydrate, brighten and plump the under-eye area. Are they sleep? No. Are they a small, cooling luxury for the person who has been awake since 4:38 a.m.? Yes.

CYKLAR Body Wash

CYKLAR Vanilla Verve Sensorial Body Wash For Moisture Barrier

CYKLAR -

A body wash can be a registry item when it is for the person doing the feeding, rocking, lifting, soothing and Googling. This oil-infused wash has a silky lather and a divine warm vanilla-musk scent. Less “spa day.” More “I have six minutes to shower and would like one nice thing to happen.”

Cozy Earth’s Short Sleeve Pajamas

Cozy Earth Women’s Bamboo Stretch-Knit Short Sleeve Pajama Set

Cozy Earth -

This one is for the person building the registry, and that person deserves pajamas. These are for feeding the baby, answering the door with no shame, sleeping in 37-minute shifts and pretending the day has a beginning and end.

Biossance The Bump-Approved Must-Haves

Biossance The Bump-Approved Must-Haves

Biossance -

Pregnancy can turn a bathroom shelf into a small legal department. This Biossance set keeps it simple with three skin-care staples: a gentle cleanser, a marine algae eye cream and a vitamin C rose oil. Less “glow journey,” more “wash your face, moisturize and go lie down.”

Bombas Sunday Slippers

Bombas Women’s Sunday Slippers

Bombas -

These are for the parent who will soon spend a shocking amount of time pacing the floor at 3 a.m. Bombas’ Sunday Slippers are covered in fluffy sherpa inside and out, with a memory foam and EVA midsole and a rubber outsole, so they can handle the crib-to-kitchen-to-mailbox circuit without pretending to be actual shoes.

Rahua Body Glow Serum

Rahua Enchanted Island Body Glow Serum

Enchanted Island -

This is for the parent whose body has spent months doing a group project with hormones, gravity and very little sleep. Rahua’s Enchanted Island Body Glow Serum is a fast-absorbing oil serum with a tropical guava and coconut scent, made with ingredients including hyaluronic acid, achiote seed extract, horsetail extract and gotu kola. It will not erase cellulite or turn your bathroom into a spa. It will make the 90 seconds after a shower feel less like maintenance and more like a tiny vacation.

Dr. Diamond’s Moisturizer

Dr. Diamond’s Metacine HYDR/O Bioactive Hydrolipid Barrier Moisturizer

Dr. Diamond's Metacine -

We love the whole Metacine line for its streamlined, smart approach to skin care, but this moisturizer is the registry pick because exhausted skin deserves one product that does the heavy lifting. Dr. Diamond’s HYDR/O is a rich, bioactive moisturizer designed to hydrate, support the skin barrier and leave skin feeling softer and more comfortable after one use. No 12-step routine. No bathroom-shelf chaos. Just a grown-up face cream for the person who may soon be washing their face with one hand while holding a baby in the other.

The Feeding Gear For Future Food Critics

Stokke High Chair with Newborn Set

Stokke Clikk High Chair With Newborn Set

Clikk -

This is the high chair for people who would like the baby to join dinner before the baby can technically eat dinner. The Stokke Clikk bundle includes the high chair, newborn set, tray and harness, so it works from day one, then transitions as the baby grows. It assembles without tools, has a dishwasher-safe tray, machine-washable harness and textile and weighs under 10 pounds, which means it can move from kitchen to dining room to grandparents’ house without becoming a whole furniture event.

Mushie Long Sleeve Bib

Mushie Long Sleeve Bib

Mushie -

This is for the older baby who has entered the “food is everywhere except my mouth” era. Mushie’s long-sleeve bib is made for littles six to 24 months, with water-resistant coverage, a wide pocket to catch the chaos and a Velcro closure at the back. Use it for mealtime now, then keep it for the epic finger-painting sessions later, when “self-expression” means yogurt, washable paint and one deeply stained sleeve.

Dr. Brown’s Natural Flow Baby Bottles

Dr. Brown’s Natural Flow Anti-Colic Options+ Baby Bottles

Dr. Brown's -

This is for the parent who has already spent too much time thinking about gas, spit-up and whether the baby is drinking too fast, too slow or with the general chaos of a tiny frat pledge. Dr. Brown’s bottles have an internal vent system designed to reduce colic, spit-up, burping and gas, plus a Level 1 slow-flow nipple so newborns can feed at their own pace. Not whimsical. Necessary. And sometimes necessary is its own kind of beautiful.

Philips Avent Premium Fast Bottle Warmer

Philips Avent Premium Fast Bottle Warmer

Philips Avent -

This is the middle-of-the-night savior for the baby who wakes up hungry and expects room service. The Philips Avent Premium Fast Bottle Warmer warms milk in as little as 3 minutes, uses water-bath technology to circulate milk and help prevent hot spots and has smart temperature control, an automatic shut-off feature and a visual progress indicator. It also fits bottles, milk bags and food jars up to 11 ounces, which means it can stay useful after the newborn bottle fog lifts.

The Hospital Bag Things For The Person Actually Having The Baby

Kindred Bravely Universal Gown Labor & Delivery Bundle

Kindred Bravely Universal Gown Labor & Delivery Bundle

Kindred Bravely -

This is for the person who remembered the baby’s going-home outfit and then realized they also have to go to the hospital as a whole human. Kindred Bravely’s bundle packs the key hospital-to-home pieces in one place: a labor and delivery gown with easy-open snaps, a lightweight bamboo robe, a nursing and sleep bra, high-waisted postpartum recovery underwear and grippy socks. Not glamorous exactly. Better. It is comfort, access, pockets and dignity in a moment when the hospital mesh underwear cannot be allowed to win.

Frida Mom Labor and Delivery + Postpartum

Frida Mom Labor and Delivery + Postpartum Recovery Kit

Frida -

This is the kit for when the registry stops being cute and starts being honest. Frida Mom packs the less-photographed side of birth into one hospital-bag-ready set, including a delivery and nursing gown, peri bottle, disposable postpartum underwear, labor and delivery socks, instant ice maxi pads, cooling pad liners, perineal healing foam, a toiletry bag and caddy. It is not precious. It is practical, specific and built for the part of postpartum nobody needs to make mysterious.

Nēmah The Everything Set

Nēmah The Everything Set - Family

Nēmah -

This is for that first postpartum shower, the one that feels like a gift from the heavens and also possibly an out-of-body experience. Nēmah’s Everything Set is built for both the person who just gave birth and the baby who has taken over the group chat, with Belly Oil, Stretch Mark Cream, Scar Treatment, Nipple Balm, Firming Body Serum, baby wash and shampoo, soothing lotion, bubble bath and leave-in conditioner and detangler. It is a hospital-bag splurge, a coming-home reset and a reminder that the baby is not the only person here who needs gentle handling.

After years of navigating IVF and months of antenatal anxiety, a close friend of mine gave birth recently. A few days after she came home from the hospital, I texted her, “How are you doing?”

She answered the way many new mothers do, “The baby is doing great.”

I wrote back, “I mean, how are you doing?” It’s a question we ask new mothers all the time, but not always one we leave much room for them to answer openly, especially if they’re struggling behind the scenes. It wasn’t until I (gently) pried that she admitted how difficult the transition to motherhood had been and how much anxiety she’d been carrying.

Once pregnancy is over, mothers stop being the focus. And while studies show postpartum depression (PPD) affects roughly one in seven women, many new moms say they feel ignored, dismissed, or left to figure out their mental health struggles largely on their own.

The problem isn’t simply one of awareness — it’s also structural. From limited postpartum follow-up and fragmented mental health care to logistical barriers like childcare, insurance, and a lack of paid leave, the healthcare system often leaves mothers with PPD to fend for themselves at a time when they may need the most support. Here’s where our experts say many mothers continue to fall through the cracks.

Many Mothers Feel Their Care Ends After Birth

One of the initial challenges in postpartum care is that mothers often transition away from being the primary focus of care quite quickly. During pregnancy, they’re closely monitored with regular appointments, symptom checklists, and frequent check-ins. After delivery, however, “the attention tends to move to the baby — in the household, at pediatrician appointments, and even in social conversations,” says Dr. Anushka Chelliah, MD, a board-certified maternal-fetal medicine specialist at Pediatrix Medical Group based in Houston. “Mothers no longer feel they are the priority in health care, and it’s a big shift from the prenatal period,” she says.

That shift means some women find themselves with fewer touchpoints with their own providers at precisely the moment they’re experiencing some of the biggest physical, emotional, and lifestyle changes of their lives. And when you do have a visit, “postpartum visits can feel more rushed, leaving mothers surprised by how abruptly their own care seems to end,” says Chelliah. In a single appointment, providers may be covering everything from healing and birth control to feeding and recovery, which can make it difficult to have time to fully unpack how a mother is coping emotionally.

Too Many Symptoms Get Written Off As “Normal”

One of the tricky parts of recognizing and helping with PPD is that it might not always appear in the way people typically expect. Providers, family members, and mothers themselves often look for the more “classic” signs of PPD, such as sadness or hopelessness, but Chelliah says symptoms like anxiety, emotional numbness, irritability, anger, and insomnia frequently go overlooked. Lorain Moorehead, LCSW, PMH-C, a licensed clinical social worker based in Scottsdale, Arizona, says cultural expectations that mothers should simply “push through” the challenges of early parenthood often reinforce this. “We brush off mothers who are getting barely any sleep or dismissively say, ‘sleep when the baby is sleeping,’” says Moorehead.

At the same time, symptoms like heightened emotions can often be mistaken for normal postpartum experiences, according to Chelliah. The message, however unintentional, is that exhaustion, overwhelm, and emotional struggles are simply part of new motherhood rather than potential signs of something deeper.

Mothers Need More Than A Screening Form

Many new mothers receive a PPD screening at their postpartum appointment, often in the form of a brief questionnaire. These tools are important: Chelliah notes that the Edinburgh Postnatal Depression Scale, which assesses symptoms over the previous seven days, is an evidence-based screening tool that has “significantly improved our ability to recognize postpartum mental health concerns that might otherwise go unnoticed.” However, screening alone isn’t enough. “One challenge is that this tool relies on self-reporting,” she says. “Many mothers minimize their symptoms because they feel embarrassed or fear that others will question their ability to care for a baby, or they may think these symptoms are normal.”

Moorehead agrees that the questionnaires create an opportunity to discuss symptoms, but says they often can’t capture the full picture. Ultimately, “the effectiveness of screening depends entirely on what happens after the questionnaire is completed,” says Chelliah. A positive screen should ideally open the door to a deeper conversation about sleep, support, anxiety, intrusive thoughts, and daily functioning, along with referrals or follow-up care when needed.

Logistical Challenges Of Getting Mental Health Care

Even when mothers admit they're having a hard time, seeking help can seem almost impossible. Childcare responsibilities, finances, transportation, work obligations, and limited leave policies can all impede the ability to seek support. These social and logistical factors are “some of the most significant predictors of whether postpartum depression or anxiety is identified and treated versus missed entirely,” says Chelliah. At the same time, many families are still navigating hospital bills, insurance paperwork, and the financial realities of welcoming a new baby. Additionally, “many mental health providers remain out of network during a time when many mothers are still receiving hospital and doctor bills for the birth,” says Moorehead.

Certain demographics are particularly vulnerable: Chelliah says women may miss their postpartum care visits because of “cultural barriers such as language or literacy limitations when accessing these screening tools.” In addition, “Black women and American Indian women experience postpartum depression at higher rates but are less likely to be screened and treated,” adds Moorehead.

The Burden Of Care Coordination Falls To Mom

Perhaps the biggest problem is that postpartum care is often fragmented. After delivery, mothers may move between their OB-GYN, their baby’s pediatrician, primary care providers, and mental health professionals — but those providers may never communicate with one another.

Instead, mothers often become the person responsible for connecting the dots between appointments, relaying information between providers, and figuring out where to turn next if something feels wrong.

“Postpartum care is often spread across multiple providers who each see only one piece of the mother's experience,” says Chelliah. A pediatrician may notice signs of maternal distress during a well-baby visit, while an OB-GYN may not see the patient again for weeks. Mental health concerns can easily fall into the spaces between specialties, and as a result, no single clinician may have a complete view of what a mother is experiencing.

The Support Moms Deserve

Both experts agree that improving postpartum mental health care doesn’t mean you have to completely overhaul the whole system. Instead, Chelliah points to extending postpartum coverage to 12 months, improving insurance coverage, and integrating mental health care into obstetric and pediatric settings — including telehealth options.

Moorehead says better communication between providers could also make a meaningful difference. It can be as straightforward as sharing screening results among specialists, coordinating referrals, following up during pediatric visits, or appointing one clinician to piece everything together, so the mother doesn't bear the full responsibility. Chelliah encourages mothers to answer screening questionnaires honestly and speak up if they feel overwhelmed, worried, or scared. Moorehead says providers can complement those screenings by asking about a mother’s daily life: “What does a typical day look like? When was the last time she cried? Is she sleeping? Does she have help? The type of feelings she has throughout the day can give a lot more information” than a form alone.

Perhaps the most important thing new mothers need to hear is this: Struggling after birth isn’t a personal failure, and it isn’t something they simply have to endure. The burden of navigating postpartum mental health shouldn’t rest entirely on mothers themselves. Even if a mother doesn’t meet every checkbox for a PPD diagnosis, her experiences still deserve to be taken seriously. “The symptoms new moms are experiencing are real, and they may present a little differently for everyone,” says Chelliah.

If you or someone you love is struggling after giving birth, visit Postpartum Support International for help finding support groups or mental health professionals.

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Even before her daughter was born, Noelle knew she wanted to pump. “The idea of breastfeeding just made me uncomfortable,” she says. But after giving birth, she felt unmoored — and had zero guidance. “There was no lactation coach to come in to talk with me, even about pumping correctly,” she says. “I felt like I was on my own.” She took matters into her own hands, joining mom groups online and doing her own research about pumping. That’s when the pressure to breastfeed began.

As most of us have experienced, once you start searching for something online, “your social media just starts advertising things to you,” Noelle recounts, adding that she kept getting pop-up ads that encouraged breastfeeding, with photos and messaging that made it seem like the end-all, be-all. “You don’t see that kind of picture or emotional support behind pumping or otherwise,” Noelle says. That, along with comments from people who praised the benefits of breastfeeding, led her to eventually give in and nurse her daughter. “I felt like I couldn’t fight it anymore,” she says.

For Noelle, the switch to breastfeeding coincided with postpartum depression (PPD), which stemmed in part from a sense of overstimulation. “It was literally my brain’s inability to cope with being needed, being touched, having to calm her even when I’m at my limit,” she says. “Breastfeeding played a very big hand in it.” And she’s not alone. Breastfeeding and PPD have a unique relationship, according to Michelle Markowitz, LMSW, a licensed social worker who specializes in perinatal mental health. Here’s how they influence one another.

How Breastfeeding Influences PPD, And Vice Versa

The pressure to breastfeed starts early — whether you realize it or not. “From the time someone gets pregnant, we are inundated with messages from friends, family, social media, society, and strangers about what is best for the baby,” says Markowitz. “And, while there has been some movement in this space, society still tells us that breast is best.”

So, when you can’t live up to that standard, whether you set it for yourself or feel pressured by others to reach it, it’s understandable that you might feel guilt, anger, sadness, or inadequacy. “This can lead to a spiral of negative thoughts resulting in depression,” Markowitz says.

But there’s a serious lack of research on the relationship between breastfeeding and postpartum depression, says Markowitz. (As is the case with many things related to maternal health.) “Interestingly, some studies suggest that there is a bidirectional relationship between breastfeeding and postpartum depression — meaning that mothers who already exhibit depressive symptoms may also struggle to breastfeed as a result of their symptoms,” she says.

How To Determine What You’re Dealing With

Anyone who’s breastfed will tell you that it’s hard, especially for first-time moms: It can be painful, boring, exhausting, or all of the above. So the lines between struggling with breastfeeding and PPD can get pretty blurry. That said, “if mom is exhibiting depressive symptoms triggered by her breastfeeding sessions, it’s likely something more,” says Markowitz. These can include crying, lack of interest in doing things, feeling hopeless, lethargy, and changes in eating or sleeping habits, she says.

While experts consider onset and duration — when the symptoms start and how long they last — when they’re looking for PPD, impact is another piece of the puzzle. “What is the impact of the symptoms on the person’s daily functioning?” Markowitz recommends considering. “Does their mood change based on whether they believe the baby had a good feed? Does their worth as a person depend on successfully breastfeeding their child? Has the tracking crossed the line into what some might consider overkill or obsessive?”

Another thing to consider is mom’s general attitude toward breastfeeding. Is she excited to try or resentful? Does her mood change during or immediately after breastfeeding? “For me, it felt like an obligation rather than a sweet moment,” says Markowitz, who also experienced breastfeeding challenges and PPD firsthand.

For those who suspect that the pressure to breastfeed has turned into something more, here’s what to consider:

Name It

First, take a moment to think about how you feel about breastfeeding. “It’s so important to name it and acknowledge it,” says Markowitz. She likes the terms “complicated grief” or “ambiguous loss” to describe grief over losses that aren’t typically acknowledged by society. “As with other types of grief, time, support, and talking about it are going to help,” she says.

Switch Your Thinking

It’s not uncommon for formula to be framed as the second-best option. “But there have always been babies who couldn’t latch or moms who couldn’t lactate,” says Markowitz. Before formula, those babies may have struggled with their health.

Not only can formula be critical for the baby in that case, but forgoing breastfeeding can also take the pressure off mom — and if that makes her happy and healthy, then that’s what’s best for the baby. Markowitz was personally relieved to know that her baby wasn’t hungry all the time and recognized that feeding could be a positive bonding experience for both her and her son. “We can hold both,” she says.

Talk To Other Moms

Markowitz considers peer support to be invaluable. “I personally didn’t find it helpful to hear ‘You’re doing great’ or ‘You’re a good mom’ because I didn’t believe it,” she says. “But I benefited most from connecting with other moms who struggled with breastfeeding and postpartum depression.” Moreover, a strong support system is a major healing and protective factor for postpartum depression, she says — so there’s a twofold advantage.

Talk To A Professional

The pressure to breastfeed, especially when it’s contributing to mental health issues, can be pretty fraught and emotional, which is why it can help to have a professional on hand. “The number one thing is to talk about your symptoms with someone you trust, whether that’s a family member, friend, or therapist,” says Markowitz, who recommends The National Maternal Mental Health Hotline and Postpartum Support International. “You don’t have to carry all of this alone.”

That support ultimately made all the difference for Noelle, who found a new therapist who specializes in PPD. “Getting that help and being able to discuss those emotions and to discuss the way it made me feel — that was really a turning point for me,” she says.

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Twenty years ago, a typical summer schedule revolved around kids playing outside from sunup to sundown, with screens reserved for family movie nights or rainy days. Today, the digital world is just as formative to a child’s early development as the real world.

Surprised? Not Dr. Lauren Loquasto, senior vice president and chief academic officer at The Goddard School, a leading early childhood education provider serving nearly 100,000 children across more than 680 schools nationwide. She’s watched this developmental shift play out in real time. “Today’s children are not just passive consumers of media; they are interacting, creating, and navigating digital environments at increasingly younger ages,” she says. “Screens are now part of how children communicate, learn, and even regulate themselves.”

So no, a screen-free summer isn't the answer. Banning something kids already use daily only makes it more desirable. The realistic goal? Teaching them that not all screen time is created equal.

In The Goddard School classrooms, educators incorporate technology as a tool for interaction, not distraction. “Within our inquiry-based Wonder of Learning framework, digital experiences are used intentionally to extend curiosity, not replace hands-on discovery,” Dr. Loquasto says. The key difference between passive consumption and active engagement is a present adult — one who’s sitting with the child, asking them questions, and connecting what’s on the screen to the real world.

You can absolutely bring that same approach home this summer. “A high-quality, interactive digital experience, especially one that is language-rich and used alongside a responsive adult, can support learning and engagement in ways that mirror strong teaching practices,” Dr. Loquasto says. Below, she shares a few ways to set (and keep!) healthy screen time boundaries for your child and yourself.

1. Create A Summer Fun Menu — Screen Time Included

Forget the color-coded schedule (unless that's your thing). Instead, put together 10 to 15 activities that mix imaginative, independent play with healthy screen time. Think: fort building, bug hunting, and coloring on one end; researching how a favorite toy works or exploring a new place together on the other. "Children who move fluidly between rich experiences build autonomy and internal balance," Dr. Loquasto says.

2. Let Your Child Have A Say

Each morning, pull out the menu and ask your child what they want to tackle and in what order. Something as simple as "Do you want screen time before or after dinner?" gives them real agency over their day. "When children help choose the boundaries, they're more likely to follow them," she says. Bonus: this puts less pressure on you to monitor every hour.

3. Set Expectations From The Start

Tell your kids upfront when screen time begins and ends. It makes transitions way smoother and cuts down on meltdowns. If they push back anyway (they will), stay calm and hold the line. Dr. Loquasto recommends building a small, fun ritual right after screens go off, a little celebration they can look forward to that makes powering down feel less like a punishment. Simple options are things like reading a book together, playing a favorite song, or transitioning into a family walk.

4. Practice What You Preach

Kids absorb everything. If you're constantly reaching for your phone, they notice and file it away as the default way to move through the world. You can't ignore work emails all day, but you can draw a firm line: no phones during playtime, dinner, or the hour before bed. Small, consistent boundaries go further than an all-or-nothing approach.

5. Plan For Screen Time Emergencies

POV: You’re at the airport for the annual summer vacation. You packed the books. You printed the activity sheets. And then your flight gets delayed by four hours. Dr. Loquasto has been there. Her take: pull out the tablet, no guilt required — just be transparent with your kid about why. A quick "our plans changed, so we're making an exception today" teaches flexibility and honesty at the same time.

The bottom line: screens aren't the enemy, but intention matters. A summer full of rich, varied experiences — digital and otherwise — is what actually sets kids up for a healthy relationship with technology long after Labor Day rolls around.

The change in seasons is the perfect time to refresh your little one’s wardrobe. Summer calls for bright prints and colors and clothes that can withstand plenty of outdoor playtime. Enter CoComelon x SHEIN, a fun-filled selection of high-quality clothing and accessories inspired by the cheerful, musical world of the hit children’s series.

The latest arrivals include matching two-piece sets, casual tops, pretty dresses, and summer sandals that blend functionality with design. The pieces are easy to mix, match, and layer through changing weather, making them a go-to option whether you're rushing them out the door or getting them ready to spend the day outside.

CoComelon x SHEIN delivers fun, wearable fashion without the hefty price tag. Plus, SHEIN continues to introduce fresh styles regularly, keeping things exciting for your little ones. Keep scrolling for our current favorite picks from the collection.

Kids Rainbow Pattern Ruffle-Sleeve Top & Shorts Set

Bring on the summer vibes with this adorable rainbow-themed two-piece set. The loose, stretchy fabric will allow your tot to move with ease, all while looking oh-so-stylish.

CoComelon x SHEIN -

Kids Dinosaur Print T-Shirt

This breathable short sleeve T-shirt is a great choice for warm weather days. In addition to being super comfortable, it also has a fun dino print young ones will love. Pair with shorts or jeans to complete your child’s summer look.

CoComelon x SHEIN -

Kids 16 Oz / 500 mL Sippy Straw Water Bottle

Make it easier for your nugget to stay hydrated this summer. This water bottle is adorned with their favorite CoComelon characters and comes with a silicone straw for easy sipping as well as a spill-proof lid so you don’t have to worry about mess.

CoComelon x SHEIN -

Kids Print Bow Ruffle-Sleeve Dress

Summer party on the horizon? Your baby will be the star of the show in this frilly pink dress adorned with a bow and CoComelon print. Add a bow in their hair for an extra dose of cuteness.

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Kids Print Crewneck Sweatshirt

Summer mornings can be cool. This CoComelon sweatshirt will keep your sweet pea warm when there’s a summer breeze. It pairs perfectly with jeans and sneakers.

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Kids Print Flip-Flops

Flip flops are a summer essential, and these sandals are a cut above. They’re lightweight, slip-resistant, and built to withstand getting wet so your child can splish splash without ruining their shoes.

CoComelon x SHEIN -

Kids Print Long-Sleeve Top & Pants PJ Set

This soft pajama set is the ideal pick for summer nights. The lightweight fabric and stretchy material will go a long way towards keeping your child sleeping cool.

CoComelon x SHEIN -

Kids Print T-Shirt

T-shirts are a summer staple. This pink option with a CoComelon print will bring a smile to your little one’s face. Dress it down with leggings, jeans or shorts or dress it up with a skirt. It’s a piece that can be worn in a variety of ways.

CoComelon x SHEIN -

Kids Print T-Shirt & Flared Pants Set

Bring ‘70s charm to your baby’s style with this two-piece set that includes a T-shirt and flared pants. The bright, retro print is sure to make a statement this season.

CoComelon x SHEIN -

Print Sandals

Babies and toddlers will live in these summer sandals with an adorable summer CoComelon print. Beyond being cute, they’re designed to be slip-resistant and not lose their shape.

CoComelon x SHEIN -

When you imagine postpartum depression (PPD), there’s a good chance the image that comes to mind is something like this: A woman in a drab outfit opens some gray curtains and peeks out at all the people outside looking happy. Laughing. Dancing. Maybe eating perfect salads. She’s forlorn, she looks miserable, and quite honestly, she’s probably nothing like you.

And that’s the problem. The image popular culture gives us of PPD is the mom who’s persistently gloomy, who gives up on her appearance, who has no motivation. But because most of us know it’s normal to have some — as the kids say — “big feelings” in the days and weeks after giving birth, it’s not always easy to know if what you’re feeling is just the baby blues or something more serious. The main difference: Baby blues tend to last a week or two. When the feelings persist longer than that, it’s worth a conversation with a healthcare provider.

The reality of PPD can be strikingly different from what you’d expect. Most new moms are actually highly motivated to get up, keep everything running, and somehow do it all perfectly. To recognize the symptoms, it’s important to identify signs you could easily miss if you’re expecting to feel like a sad lady with a cartoon cloud over her head. Ahead, four subtle signs of PPD you might brush off — but should be paying attention to.

1. You’re Feeling All Sorts Of Angry

Women who’ve experienced PPD are often blindsided by the pure white-hot rage. According to Elizabeth O’Brien, a psychotherapist, consultant, and educator who specializes in perinatal mental health and trauma, “What’s underneath the rage is anxiety and depression — but what surprises them is that they’re highly functioning. They’re like, ‘I don’t know what happened to me. I’m not identifying this controlling behavior as anxiety. I’m not identifying with depression classically because I’m dressed, getting things done, taking care of my baby. But I’m really angry and irritable.’”

These ragey feelings are often directed at a partner, a mother, or a mother-in-law. Partners describe feeling blindsided by the change in demeanor (“What happened to my wife?”), and women may not immediately connect it to a mental health issue. After all, they’re functioning fairly well — they just feel furious all the time. And quite frankly, there are legitimate reasons to be angry sometimes. Doomscroll on your phone, watch the news for 15 minutes, and the list gets long real quick. But persistent, outsized rage directed at everyone you love most is a symptom of PPD.

2. Your Body Is (Loudly) Trying To Tell You Something

Headaches that don’t quit. No appetite or the complete opposite, like eating without feeling satisfied. A level of exhaustion that a nap can’t even touch. PPD-related fatigue is different from run-of-the-mill new-parent tiredness in one very notable way: It doesn’t improve with rest. It’s easy to dismiss these physical symptoms as just part of the new-baby deal — and sometimes they are. But when they’re constant and show up alongside mood changes, they could indicate something more serious. As O’Brien puts it, “the postpartum period is probably the most vulnerable time in a woman’s life.” And your body often knows this before your mind catches up.

3. You’re Beyond The Point Of Overwhelmed

For high-achieving women, it can be incredibly disorienting to go from running meetings and managing projects to suddenly being unable to choose a yogurt flavor. Difficulty concentrating, trouble making even simple decisions, and a general cognitive fogginess are all recognized symptoms of PPD. Everyone knows the mental load of new motherhood is a lot, but it’s different when it feels like your brain has just gone completely offline. Rather than treating it as a character flaw, consider it a possible sign of PPD.

4. You’re Not “Sad” — You’re Just Kind Of… There

This is the one that really doesn’t match the sad-lady commercials. Instead of feeling the anticipated sadness and tearfulness, you’re experiencing flatness, as if you’re unable to feel joy, interest, or love. You’re simply going through the motions and feeling almost nothing. You plan every single detail of this baby’s arrival — pick the nursery colors and the homecoming outfit, master the incredibly complicated car seat — so it’s confusing to feel oddly detached from all of it. If you step back and watch yourself parenting from a distance, wondering why nothing feels like it’s “supposed” to, it’s easy to start telling yourself you’re just being ungrateful. If you’re experiencing this, bring it up to a professional. As O’Brien observes, women often come in saying “something’s wrong with me,” and they’re right. They just don’t know yet that what’s wrong has a name.

Returning To Yourself Is Possible

The good news about these and other more easily recognized symptoms of PPD is that they’re all temporary and treatable. O’Brien recommends starting with the body first. She says, “I always approach women in this time period from a biopsychosocial lens: How are we first supporting the body? Is she getting enough sleep, proper nutrition, and protein? Is she dehydrated? Even mild dehydration increases anxiety.”

Samantha Caola, a Maine-based licensed clinical professional counselor who specializes in perinatal mental health, is equally direct about sleep. She says, “Sleep is everything. Carve out time for it — coordinate with a partner, a doula, a family member, a friend, or a neighbor. This isn’t meant in jest; it’s so important to your mental well-being and functioning and is typically the starting place for the development of a postpartum mood disorder.” (Yes, this is yet another motivation to give up your late-night screen time.)

Finding The Right Support

If the body-first basics aren’t moving the needle, that’s ok — it’s just data you can take to the next step. Professional support is available and very much worth pursuing. Because PPD comes with hormonal components and unique physical experiences, look for a therapist who specializes in perinatal mental health. Even a skilled general therapist may be unfamiliar with specific symptoms or treatment modalities.

If you’re unsure of where to start, Postpartum Support International has a therapist directory where you can filter by location and perinatal specialization, as well as online support groups and a helpline.

The woman peering out the dark curtains doesn’t look like you. But that doesn’t mean you don’t need or deserve support. It just means you need to know what to look for — and now you do.

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No two postpartum experiences look exactly alike. For some moms, the weeks after birth feel joyful and grounding. For others, they feel disorienting, lonely, overwhelming — or all of the above at once. And while every postpartum journey is different, hearing how other moms moved through it can make the hardest moments feel a little less isolating.

Here, three moms with different backgrounds and experiences share what postpartum depression (PPD) looked like for them, what support actually helped, and what they wish more moms knew.

Postpartum Is Hard. Full Stop.

Danielle, 37, has two kids, ages almost 5 and 15 months. Her first postpartum experience was the most intense. Her daughter arrived 11 days late and required a vacuum delivery after two and a half hours of pushing. “Everything was fine, there were no complications,” she recalls, “but I was extremely overwhelmed and sort of in shock.”

Relief came first, then something harder to name. “I did not feel immediately connected to the baby like they say you will, and I felt guilty about that. I experienced a level of anxiety I never had before. I easily cried. I was very overwhelmed by all of the conflicting advice. I felt trapped in my apartment by the summer heat and by her nap and feeding schedule.”

When she tried to articulate how she was feeling at her six-week postpartum appointment, her doctor’s response left her feeling worse, not better. “She did not make me feel like what I was feeling was normal. She did not offer any guidance that many women feel this way, that not everyone feels connected, and that doesn’t mean something is wrong with you. I left crying.”

Being the first among her friends and family to have a baby only intensified those feelings. “I felt incredibly alone and inadequate,” she says. “Why couldn’t I handle this? Why was I so weak? Everyone in the world does this — why was this so hard for me?”

Things improved around the seven- to nine-month mark, but the biggest shift came when she stopped breastfeeding. “That was the biggest noticeable change, and it made me realize how much I had been feeling probably had to do with hormones.”

Looking back, she wishes someone had normalized how hard postpartum can feel — especially when you don’t instantly bond with your baby or feel grateful every second of the experience. “I want to normalize that postpartum is just plain hard,” she says. “It’s okay not to like it, and it doesn’t mean something is wrong with you or that you shouldn’t be a mom.”

She Diagnosed PPD In Others — Then Missed It In Herself

Dr. Kibby McMahon, 40, is a clinical psychologist and mom to a three-year-old in New York City who has experienced PPD firsthand.

Before having her son, McMahon had worked as a therapist in the women’s clinic at New York Presbyterian Hospital, where she diagnosed and treated PPD. She knew the clinical criteria inside and out. And still, when it happened to her, she almost missed it. “I had no idea what feelings were normal versus not. Since it was my first child, it was so hard to tell PPD from just the experience of having a first baby all of the grief, the hormone changes, the lifestyle changes.”

Her labor was long and exhausting at 25 hours, and in the days after delivery her anxiety was through the roof. “I just felt like I was insane. I was also super euphoric, running on adrenaline — but also tweaked out.” It wasn’t until a trip to Asia disrupted everyone’s sleep that her therapist gently flagged what she was seeing. “She said, ‘You’re a lot darker and more pessimistic than usual.’ That alerted me that something was abnormal.”

With support from her therapist, couples therapist, and a psychiatrist specializing in postpartum care, McMahon gradually started feeling more like herself again. Now, she emphasizes how important it is for moms to have people around them who can recognize when they’re struggling.

“One of the best ways to protect yourself from PPD, according to research, is good social support,” she says. “Someone who can listen to you and say, ‘Hey, I think you’re struggling. You don’t sound like yourself.’”

For McMahon, part of healing also meant letting go of shame. “There is nothing to be ashamed about,” she says. “It doesn’t mean anything about your ability to be a mother or your love for your baby.”

A Little Support Went A Very Long Way

Megan, who lives in Florida, was pregnant with her second child during the second wave of Covid, with a two-year-old already at home. Her son arrived at 38 weeks after a stressful delivery involving a series of medical oversights. Then, shortly after giving birth, a hurricane warning forced her husband to leave the hospital to evacuate their home with their daughter.

“I remember just being really stressed,” she says. “Instead of having him next to me, I needed him [to be] taken care of by someone else because I was so stressed out.” Her son had colic for 16 weeks. Megan was barely sleeping and felt guilty about not being more present for her older child.

And like Danielle, she says the standard postpartum screening questions didn’t really capture what she was experiencing. “I never felt suicidal or like I was going to hurt myself or the baby. It was just more this feeling of sadness, exhaustion.”

What turned things around was moving closer to both sets of grandparents and hiring a babysitter for a few hours each day. “Even if I didn’t leave the house, it just gave me a moment to lay there in peace and feel like I could relax,” she says.

Now, she encourages moms not to wait until they’re completely overwhelmed to ask for help — whatever that help looks like. “Never be afraid of getting help — whether that’s from a babysitter, a neighbor, your family, or your partner,” she says. “Even a small amount can go a long way.”

What These Stories Reveal About Postpartum Support

Danielle needed reassurance that what she was feeling was normal. McMahon needed people who could recognize when she was struggling. Megan needed practical help just to get through the day.

Their experiences may have looked different, but one thing stayed the same: feeling supported changed everything. Whether that support came in the form of therapy, childcare, community, rest, or simply someone saying, You don’t sound like yourself, having the right kind of help made it easier to find solid ground again.

Presented by BDG Studios

Feeding a baby sounds simple — until you're the one doing it at 3 a.m., squinting at an ingredient list and wondering what half of it actually means. Somewhere between the late-night feedings and the group chats and the rabbit holes, choosing a formula can start to feel like a much bigger decision than anyone warned you about.

And honestly? It kind of is.

Every infant formula on the shelf is designed to support your baby's growth — that part is non-negotiable and FDA-regulated. But once you start comparing options side by side, the differences get harder to ignore. Questions about knowing where the milk comes from, what's added in (and what isn't), and how much a brand is actually willing to tell you about what's behind the label may start swirling around your mind during those late-night feeds.

That's a big reason why it’s worth taking a closer look at Little Spoon's Organic Whole Milk Infant Formula — a formula built to go further in three areas that matter most: nutrition, safety, and transparency.

Here's what that actually looks like in practice.

It Starts With The Milk — & That Choice Shapes Everything

Every formula has to deliver complete nutrition. What separates them is how that nutrition is built from the ground up.

Little Spoon starts with organic grass fed whole milk from New Zealand, where cows graze on open pasture for 350+ days a year — well above the USDA organic minimum of 120 days. That extra time outdoors, eating far more grass than cows in typical grain-fed dairy operations, lays a clean, nutritious foundation from the very first ingredient.

Using whole milk keeps the natural fat profile intact, requiring less added oils to achieve the balance of fatty acids that babies need — and that choice carries through the rest of the formula. Omega-6 levels land within the range typically found in breast milk, which most premium formulas don't actually achieve. MFGM, a component of breast milk linked to early development, is naturally present in the Little Spoon Organic Whole Milk Infant Formula because it lives in whole milk fat — it was never stripped out, so it doesn't need to be added back in. And lactose is the primary carbohydrate, with a 60:40 whey-to-casein ratio that mirrors what babies get when they nurse.

The formula is also USDA Organic and EU Organic certified, and made without corn syrup solids, palm oil, soy, or maltodextrin.

Organic Whole Milk Infant Formula

Little Spoon -

What Little Spoon Builds In (That Most Formulas Leave Out)

Beyond the milk itself, Little Spoon adds a handful of ingredients found in breast milk that a lot of formulas skip.

The first is a full set of all five nucleotides — the building blocks of DNA and RNA that breast milk delivers in abundance, but cow's milk doesn't. They support immune development, gut health, and stronger antibody responses to vaccines. Paired with them is a prebiotic called FOS, a fiber that feeds the beneficial gut bacteria common in breastfed babies.

Little Spoon also includes L-Carnitine, which helps babies turn fat into energy — something they can't make enough of on their own in the first year. It's required in EU formula standards but missing from some U.S. options. The formula also contains DHA and ARA at levels consistent with breast milk to support brain and eye development.

Safety That Goes Beyond The Baseline

Infant formula is already one of the most regulated food categories in the country, which is worth noting, because the headlines don't always reflect that.

"To the parents that are out there — the sky is not falling," says Dr. Kathleen (Kathy) Glass, Ph.D., a leading food safety expert who spent nearly four decades at the University of Wisconsin–Madison's Food Research Institute. "The infant formula is a very safe product, and parents should be confident that the industry in general is doing a very good job."

That said, how individual brands approach testing still varies a lot. Little Spoon tests every batch across six categories (heavy metals, pathogens, toxin-producing and spore-forming bacteria, hygiene indicators, pesticides and glyphosate, and plasticizers) for more than 500 potential contaminants, including heavy metals, pathogens like Cronobacter and Salmonella, toxin-producing bacteria, hygiene indicators, pesticides and glyphosate, and plasticizers. Little Spoon’s internal thresholds meet or exceed FDA requirements, and any batch that doesn't meet every threshold simply isn't released. The formula has also earned the Clean Label Project's Purity Award, Pesticide-Free certification, and the First 1,000 Days Promise Award — making it one of only two formula brands to hold that last distinction.

Transparency You Can Actually See

Here's the part that genuinely sets Little Spoon apart: they publicly publish their batch-level testing results, including actual numbers for heavy metals, not vague pass/fail summaries.

That means instead of taking a brand's word for it, you can see the data behind the batch in your kitchen — and the safety thresholds it was measured against. In a category that runs on trust, that kind of openness is still rare.

"If I were a parent, I would be choosing a brand that would be transparent with what they are doing to make that food product safe," Dr. Glass says. "Because transparency helps to build trust… I want to know that they aren't just testing for testing's sake, but they really do have a passion for the safety of their consumers and for the infants."

Organic Whole Milk Infant Formula

Little Spoon -

The Bottom Line

There's no single "right" formula for every family, but understanding what sets options apart — from where the milk comes from to what's added in to how much a brand is willing to share — can make a hard decision feel a lot more manageable.

And when you're feeding your baby multiple times a day, often in the most exhausting, vulnerable stretches of new parenthood, having clearer information in your hands is the thing that tends to make the biggest difference.

The most meaningful support you can offer a new mom experiencing postpartum depression (PPD) is mental health care. There’s no substitute for real support, whether that’s good, old-fashioned therapy, or simply being seen and understood during a deeply overwhelming time.

That said, small, thoughtful comforts can still go a long way. The right gift won’t fix everything, but it can make a struggling mom feel a little more cared for, a little more supported, and a little less alone. Ahead, a few items that offer comfort, ease, and a gentle reminder that she’s being looked after, too.

1. A Sturdy, Reliable Travel Bag

According to Jessica Pinti Dunson, LCAS, LCMH, a therapist at Therapy for Women Center, mothers who experience a complicated pregnancy or birth that leads to a NICU stay may have a higher likelihood of experiencing PPD. So, for a mom making frequent trips to the hospital to visit her newborn, a sturdy tote bag that can fit everything she and her baby need will help lighten the mental load. This one from Canvelle is machine-washable and has lots of inside compartments to keep it from turning into a bottomless pit of disorganization — aka, the last thing she needs.

Zip Crossbody Tote

Canvelle -

2. A Calming App Subscription

Sarah, 35, says that when she was going through PPD, the Headspace app helped her immensely. “I used it all the time to fall asleep and get myself out of a bad place.” Yes, the app has meditation, but if even that feels like too much to commit to, the soundscapes and anxiety-curbing courses might be just low-lift enough to boost her spirits.

Headspace Subscription

Headspace -

3. A Pretty Writing Set

“Get your feelings and thoughts out of your body. Make a list of things that you don’t like doing with your baby and then rank them. It helps identify what actually feels harder and more overwhelming. Then, ask for support in those areas,” recommends Dunson, who experienced postpartum depression herself after becoming a mom.

Think of it as a simple, no-pressure brain dump. Putting everything down on paper can help you make sense of what feels hardest and where you might need the most support. Turning it into a small daily ritual — especially with a notebook you actually enjoy using — can make it easier to stick with and come back to when things feel overwhelming.

The New Mom Bundle

Simplified By Emily Ley -

4. A Red Light Therapy Mask

Red light therapy might not be the first thing that comes to mind when supporting a mom through PPD, but for some, it’s become a small daily ritual that makes a difference. “I have one now, and I wish I had one back when I was going through PPD,” says Aimee, 36. “I love it. I feel like it helps me with not just my skin, but anxiety and stress too.”

There’s some science behind that, too. Research suggests red light therapy may help support mood by improving blood flow to the brain, reducing inflammation, and encouraging the growth of new neurons — all factors linked to emotional regulation. If you’re considering it, look for a reputable option that’s UV-free and FDA-cleared to ensure it’s both safe and effective.

Wrinkle Retreat Pro LED Face Mask

Solawave -

5. A Spa-Level Shower Lineup

“You’re so gross during the first few weeks with the blood, sweat, and milk, you might as well make it fancy when you are cleaning yourself up,” says Liz, 32. “I wish I had treated myself to really nice shower products. I showered so much postpartum and should have pampered myself.” This tropical, floral-smelling set is sulfate-free and will help her feel like a person again, even if just for the two minutes she gets to spend in the shower.

BRONZED Personal Care Set

Apothia -

6. Meal Deliveries

Nutrition is key during this vulnerable time — but cooking? That’s a funny joke. Get this hugely important task checked off her list with a meal delivery service that delivers fresh, fully cooked meals from Michelin-starred and James Beard-winning chefs. All she’ll have to do is heat it up. CookUnity offers modifications for allergies and preferences (including vegan), so if you know her well, choose her meals and make it a zero-effort experience all around. Or, get a gift card so she can choose what sounds good to her.

CookUnity Gift Card

CookUnity -

7. High-Quality Loungewear

Sitting around in your PJs all day doesn’t sound so bad when you’ve got a set that looks like this. “The material feels luxurious, and they were such a lifesaver when I could barely get myself dressed, let alone look put together,” says Kristen, 36. Comfortable, with easy access for pumping or breastfeeding, and genuinely pretty, these silk-and-cotton-blended pajamas are a no-brainer outfit that’s suitable enough to be seen by visiting friends and extended family.

Cheri Blossom Crop PJ Set

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Presented by BDG Studios

Expectation versus reality in the postpartum period can be a shock, especially for new moms experiencing postpartum depression (PPD). Before birth, it’s easy to picture a catalog-perfect nursery, the best baby gear, and endless cozy snuggles. But once your baby arrives, those expectations don’t always match how you feel. Instead of instant connection, you might notice numbness, distance, or even a heaviness you didn’t anticipate.

You’ve likely heard about the more common signs of PPD, like low mood, exhaustion, or losing interest in things you once loved. But there’s another experience that doesn’t get nearly enough attention: how hard it can feel to bond with your newborn, and just how common that really is.

Why It’s Hard For New Mothers To Bond With Their Babies

According to Jessica Pinti Dunson, LCAS, LCMH, a therapist at Therapy for Women Center who works with patients experiencing postpartum depression and postpartum anxiety (PPA), there are five key reasons bonding can feel difficult:

1. Emotional blunting: This can show up as a loss of pleasure or emotional response. Moments that are often expected to feel rewarding, like holding, feeding, or simply looking at your baby, can instead feel flat, overwhelming, or even repulsive. “It doesn’t mean the mom doesn’t care,” explains Dunson, “it means her brain is deficient in nutrients and not working properly.”
2. Hormonal and neurochemical changes: After birth, the body goes through one of the most rapid and intense hormonal shifts it will ever experience. “A doctor once described it to me as one day you take 100 birth control pills, and the next you take zero, and women are expected to cope with limited knowledge and support,” Dunson says. Key hormones like estrogen, progesterone, and oxytocin fluctuate dramatically. When oxytocin, often called the “love hormone,” isn’t releasing as it should, it can directly impact bonding and attachment.
3. Increased anxiety and responsibility: For some women, PPD is compounded by PPA, which can lead to avoiding the very behaviors that typically help build connection. Anxiety can show up as constant “what if” thinking, like “What will happen to my baby if… ?” or more intrusive fears, such as “What if I fall while going down the stairs with the baby?” In some cases, thoughts can become even more distressing, including fears about harming the baby or yourself, making it harder to engage and feel present.
4. Fatigue and mental stress: The mental and physical load of new motherhood can be overwhelming, especially within broader systemic pressures. “In America, it can be quite pricey to have a child, and for many women, they only have access to partially paid maternity leave, or FMLA, which only guarantees them a job for 12 weeks, not even the same job,” says Dunson. “The pressure to go back to work can interfere with the ability to be present in healing and bonding with the baby. Depression often causes severe fatigue, poor concentration, and sleep disruptions, which are a given with a newborn. When your own needs are not being met, and then you’re being asked to meet the needs of a child, it can make energy depleted, and being emotionally attuned becomes increasingly harder.”
5. Negative self-perception: All of this, layered with guilt and societal expectations, can shape how you see yourself as a parent. “There is a large social pressure to love motherhood,” Dunson says, “but I don’t know anyone who loves to be covered in spit-up or poop. [These feelings] can create emotional distance and disdain for the child who is creating situations that ultimately make the mother feel like a failure.”

You’re Not Alone

If bonding doesn’t happen right away, you’re far from the only one. PPD affects 1 in 8 women in the U.S., and for many, it can shape how those early weeks and months feel — including their connection with their baby.

There’s a lot of pressure to feel an instant, overwhelming bond, but that’s not everyone’s reality. For some, connection builds slowly. For others, it can feel distant or complicated at first. None of that makes you a bad parent, and it doesn’t mean something is broken.

What’s often left out of the conversation is that bonding isn’t always immediate — it can grow over time, as you heal, adjust, and start to feel more like yourself again. And for most parents, that shift does come.

If you’re feeling disconnected, struggling, or just not how you expected to feel, it’s important to know that it’s common, it’s valid, and you’re not alone in it.

Here’s How To Cope

Learning more about postpartum depression and postpartum anxiety, connecting with other moms who’ve been through it, and building in small, supportive routines can make a real difference. According Dunson, these kinds of intentional, everyday practices can help gently rebuild connection over time.

Simple habits that boost oxytocin, like skin-to-skin contact, can support bonding, even if it doesn’t feel natural right away.

Dunson also recommends “narrating” your day to your baby. It might feel a little awkward at first, but putting your actions into words can help create a sense of connection and rhythm, both for you and your baby. Talking through everyday moments — diaper changes, feedings, getting dressed — can make interactions feel more intentional and engaging.

Another strategy she suggests is creating small, low-pressure bonding moments throughout the day. Think of them as “baby highlights”: a few minutes of uninterrupted play, reading a short book, or simply holding your baby without distractions. Setting a loose time limit can actually make it feel more manageable, especially when you’re already exhausted. When your brain knows there’s an endpoint, it can ease some of the pressure and make it easier to stay present.

Most importantly, struggling with bonding is common, and it’s something you deserve support for. If you’re feeling overwhelmed or disconnected, reaching out to a therapist or doctor can help you feel seen, supported, and on a path toward feeling more like yourself again.

Presented by BDG Studios

Becoming a new mom? It’s like landing on a new planet and everyone is telling you how everything works — but nobody knows how anything works... for you. There are only so many recommendations and so much advice you can take before it all becomes overwhelming, and that’s especially true when it comes to motherhood-on-the-go. Every person in your orbit has some perfect item that worked for them when they were traveling with baby or spending the day out and about, but hearing too much can make you want to climb back on the couch and never leave the house again.

Until you read this list.

Look, everybody’s motherhood journey is different. But if you’re looking for some products that will help you feel strong and confident and excited about getting out for the day with your baby, we have some ideas. These are products we’ve tried and believe in, and we think they’ll help you feel like your best self while out with your brand new baby. Whether you’re just picking up a grocery order or spending the day in your favorite city looking for the best banana bread latte, these items are all great products to help you and baby feel safe, loved, and confident.

Products for Baby

You’ve got all the essentials — the bottles, the diapers, the wipes. Maybe you watched some social media posts of well-stocked diaper bags or asked your best friends what they always have on-hand. But we’re going to offer you a few more favorite products to bring along with you as you and baby head for your big day out. (And remember, if the “big day out” is going to the grocery store and then grabbing an iced coffee from the drive-thru, it totally counts. Congratulations! You did it!)

The Best Way To Document Without Staring Into Your Phone

Camp Snap Camera (Screen-Free Digital Camera)

Camp Snap Photo -

You’re going to want to take a million pictures of your day out with baby — and let me make it clear, I think you should. But don’t get caught up in social media or doomscrolling — the Camp Snap Camera is a screen-free digital camera that you simply charge, drop in your bag, and use whenever you want. It can take up to 500 photos with one charge, and you can easily upload the photos to your computer or phone whenever you want. The quality is so fun and lovely, too, and it’s the best way to start documenting your motherhood journey.

The Only Stroller You’ll Need

Bugaboo Fox 5 Renew 2-in-1 Stroller

Bugaboo -

OK, everyone has a favorite stroller — but nothing is going to make you feel more confident heading out on your own than the Bugaboo Fox 5 Renew 2-in-1. The bassinet really makes it feel less scary to buckle a baby in, and the Bugaboo truly folds up beautifully in your car if you need to drive somewhere first. Plus with the storage on the bottom and the seamless pushing ease, you’re going to feel like a whole Real Mom as you go about your day, and it’s going to make you feel a million times more secure.

The Most Helpful Nap-On-The-Go Accessory

Love to Dream Sleep Machine

Love to Dream -

So much of the anxiety surrounding going out with your baby is how you’ll get them to nap. But listen — a walk in a stroller almost always works. And if you need reinforcements, grab the Love to Dream Sleep Machine. It’s a travel white noise machine that will help you get baby relaxed, following their “normal” sleep routine while on the go, and it’s a major help in the car if you’re driving and baby’s feeling a little fussy.

The Only Back-Up Outfit You’ll Need

Little Navy Ribbed Bodysuit 3-Pack

Old Navy -

I learned very quickly that back-up clothes need to be simple and comfy. Throw a few packs of these Little Navy ribbed bodysuits on your list and you’ll never stress again about a spit-up moment gone majorly wrong or a giant blow-out.

The Best Way To Keep Baby Cool

Veer Flex Fan

Amazon -

Whether it’s extra warm and stuffy out or you just want to keep a steady flow of air on baby while hanging in the stroller or out for a picnic, the Veer Flex Fan is a must. It’s portable, lightweight, and can bend to fit wherever you need it. It’s also extra helpful for you, the one who’s sweating through her clothes trying to get baby to nurse in a busy restaurant.

The Easiest Way To Save Breast Milk

Munchkin Silicone Breast Milk Collector

Munchkin -

If you’re nursing and anxious about spilled milk or just leaking and want to save the precious gold (and your clothes), try tossing these Munchkin silicone breast milk collectors into your bag. These are great if you’re struggling with supply and want to make sure you don’t miss a drop, but I also just love them for helping raise your confidence in nursing while out and about.

The Best Car Organizer

Skip Hop Car Backseat Organizer

Carter's -

OK, the way you will use this Skip Hop car backseat organizer for literally everything. Throw in extra diapers and wipes, hand sanitizer, a set of back-up clothes, an extra baby carrier — whatever you can think of. Then you don’t have to carry it all in a bag or around on your day out, but you’ll know it’s all there, ready to grab in the car. This thing also cleans like a dream and isn’t at all bulky strapped to the seat.

The Easiest-To-Clean Pacifiers

MAM Matte Pacifier 2-Pack

Target -

Some babies are super picky about their pacifiers, but if you’re looking for one to have on-hand for days out, I love the MAM pacifiers. Not only are these highly recommended and from a very trusted brand, but they can attach to pretty much any type of pacifier clip, and even come with their own case so you can keep them clean and ready to go.

The Only Pacifier Clips You’ll Ever Need

BooginHead by Infantino PaciGrip 2-Pack

Amazon -

Listen, pacifier clips are a must. Clip these Infantino PaciGrips to the car seat straps, to the stroller strap, to the diaper bag — just put them everywhere. They stay exactly where you clipped them with zero slip, and they work well with every pacifier I’ve ever tried.

The Car Seat That Will Heal Your Travel Anxiety

Maxi-Cosi Pria All-in-One Convertible Car Seat

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Car seats seem to be a major source of stress for new parents, and it’s not hard to see why — it’s overwhelming to find one. But if you want a car seat you can trust, that doesn’t feel super complicated to install (or clean!), the Maxi-Cosi Pria all-in-one convertible car seat is fantastic. This one will last from newborn all the way up to your baby becoming a big kid in a booster, and it has the 1-click LATCH system that makes installation so easy. It doesn’t slide around, it feels nice and secure, and it’s going to make you feel way safer about strapping your baby into the backseat.

The Baby Carrier That Won’t Intimidate You

WildBird Aerial Carrier

WildBird -

Baby carriers are incredible inventions, especially when you’re taking baby out on your own. But so many of them feel overly complicated to use and are a little bit terrifying. If you want a baby carrier for your day out with babe, try the WildBird Aerial carrier. It comes in a million colors and patterns, and also has inclusive sizing so every mom can feel totally confident wearing baby. It’s also made from a great breathable linen, so nobody’s going to be getting overheated and sweaty — and it’s super easy to put baby into all on your own.

The Sweetest Books For Travel

Little Feminist Board Book Set

Mudpuppy -

OK, maybe this isn’t a necessity — but it’s never too early to grab some board books for your diaper bag or to keep in the car. The Little Feminist board book set is not only easy to travel with, but the bright illustrations have a lot of contrast and are great eye candy for even the littlest babes.

The Softest Lovey For Baby

GUND Baby Oh So Snuggly Littles Hippo

Amazon -

Picking your baby’s first lovey is so fun, and GUND never gets it wrong. The Oh So Snuggly Littles hippo is soft and adorable, but it’s also the perfect size for being on the go — not too big, not too small, and can be stuffed into any stroller. I just love the idea of taking baby out on a fun adventure and making sure their brand new bestie is always with them.

The Best Car Monitor For Anxious Moms

DoHonest Baby Car Camera

Amazon -

You know what’s scary? Driving with your brand new baby in the backseat. The DoHonest baby camera monitor has a ton of great reviews and is super simple to install in your car so you can always keep an eye on the road and baby. Bonus: you don’t need any tools for installation, and it’s easy to customize the view you want.

The Cutest Protective Sun Cap

H&M Baby Sun Cap

H&M -

Tiny babies can’t have sunscreen, but don’t let that stop you from taking your kiddo out on a picnic or a sunny walk. The H&M baby sun cap has UPF 50 to keep your little one safe from the sun, and it’s honestly so adorable. Just keep it in the diaper bag or car organizer when you’re not using it, and you’ll never have to worry about making sure it’s on hand.

The Softest, Lightest Cotton Blankets

Cloud Island Muslin Cotton Swaddle Blanket 3-Pack

Target -

Taking baby out for the day isn’t the time to bring heirloom blankets or heavy quilts. But you can keep a pack of these Cloud Island muslin cotton swaddle blankets in your bag or car and then you always have something — whether you need it for nursing, for extra sun coverage or even cleaning spit-up. They’re so versatile, cute and light, and so easy-to-wash.

The Easy-To-Grab Changing Station

Skip Hop Pronto Signature Changing Station

Carter's -

For first-time moms, grabbing a whole diaper bag stuffed to the brim is totally normal. But you may be feeling confident and ready to venture out with just a few essentials, and the Skip Hop Pronto Signature changing station is so good. Not only does it look cute, it has everything you need to change your baby anywhere you need to — because becoming a mom means realizing quickly that not every place has a changing pad in the bathroom.

Products for You

And then let’s be honest — you deserve to go out feeling like the best version of yourself, not just the most-prepared mom (although you are 100% her, too, don’t let anyone tell you they’re separate identities). Going out postpartum is wild — the entire world feels different — and having some items that make you feel your strongest, most confident self will really have you feeling good and like you can do anything. Coffee? HomeGoods browsing? A walk in the park? Anything is possible because baby’s snoozing in the most epic stroller with a white noise machine and a cozy blanket and you’ve got the following products on hand.

The Only Water Bottle You’ll Ever Need

HYDROJUG 40 oz. Travel Tumbler

Dick's Sporting Goods -

I know water bottle culture is wild, but nothing makes you really focus on staying hydrated like having a baby. And I am obsessed with HYDROJUG. Not only do they come in tons of cute colors and styles, they do. not. spill. Close the top, throw it in your diaper bag, and you don’t have to worry about a puddle of water at the bottom. And a 40-ounce tumbler is perfect for a day out with baby so you aren’t peeing 8,000 times in public restrooms with a stroller.

The Comfiest Pair Of Leggings

OFFLINE by Aerie Real Me High Waisted Crossover Legging

Aerie -

It’s not that you aren’t ready for “real” pants, it’s that “real” pants aren’t ready for you. But Aerie has the perfect high-waisted crossover leggings. Not only do these not slide or roll down, but the crossover top really feels like it helps my posture (I know, hear me out) and when you’re getting used to your postpartum bod, something that reminds you to stand up straight and walk with confidence is the best.

The Most Functional Crossbody Bag

JanSport Unphased Crossbody Large

JanSport -

Chances are you’ve got a diaper bag already, but the JanSport Unphased crossbody is the perfect addition to your day out. Fill this with the stuff you need, not baby, and then you don’t have to dig in your giant diaper bag for a new postpartum pad or a lip balm or hand sanitizer or anything. It comes int ons of cute colors, is super easy to clean, and so comfy to wear.

The Best Way To Make Sure You’re Never Without Your Phone

heyday Multi-Hub Base with 4 Power Banks

Target -

One of the stressful parts about going out with baby is making sure you have a fully charged phone for everything from pictures and directions to calling your partner and using Apple Wallet. I love the heyday multi-hub base — keep it at home with four power banks charging and then just grab one on your way out the door. No more worries about your phone dying.

The Best Way To Hit Your Reading Goals On-The-Go

Kindle Colorsoft

Amazon -

One of the things I really wanted to do when I had a newborn was stay off my phone — but have you ever tried to hold a book while nursing a baby or rocking them to sleep? My wrists could not. Enter the Kindle Colorsoft. I kept mine in my diaper bag and anytime there was a moment of baby sleeping or waiting in a pediatrician’s office or just enjoying my coffee in the car while baby finished a nap, I pulled it out to read. You panic about how you’ll hit your reading goals as a new mom and then you get a Kindle and realize.

The Softest Body Butter To Make You Feel Human Again

Tree Hut Whipped Body Butter

Walmart -

One of the best things I did for myself when I had each of my children was buying all of my favorite body butters and lotions. When postpartum hits, it hits, and having something that makes you feel like yourself and clean and smelling good is a must. The Tree Hut whipped body butter is literally so soft and fluffy, and swiping it on your body before heading out for the day is going to make you feel like you’re ready for anything.

The Comfiest Postpartum Underwear

Woxer Baller PadLiner

Woxer -

These aren’t necessarily marketed as postpartum underwear, but I love the Woxer Baller Padliner briefs. These feel tight enough to give some minor compression on your legs and butt (which I loved postpartum), and also have a wide padliner area that you can double up with your own pads, too. It just made me feel a little more human than mesh undies when I wore something like this, and I love how it helps you feel more confident when going out — no leaks or accidents happening here.

The Mascara To Make You Feel Like Yourself Again

Grande Cosmetics GrandeMASCARA Conditioning Peptide Mascara

Target -

Make-up as a new mom? It’s not always easy. And when you’re trying to get out the door to get your coffee before baby loses their ever-loving mind, you just have to throw something on and run out the door. Well let the GrandeMASCARA conditioning peptide mascara be the thing you swipe on. It gives you that “clean girl” aesthetic with zero clumps or mess, and it will 100% make you feel like you’re fresh and ready to go, even with zero other makeup on.

The Swipe-It-Forget-It Sunscreen

TULA Protect + Go Sunscreen

Tula -

We’re not doing a whole skincare regimen right now, but babe — we need sunscreen. Throw the TULA Protect + Go sunscreen into your bag so it’s on-hand anytime you’re out and about. A few quick swipes on the face and neck and you’re good to go — plus it gives this nice, dewy glow that makes you feel all fresh and sunkissed.

The Easiest Dress To Wear

Halara SoftlyZero Airy Backless Active Dress

Halara -

If you want a dress, you really want the Halara backless cut-out activewear dress. It has those easy built-in shorts so you can pull them down to go to the bathroom without taking off the entire dress, and you can totally go bra-less in this — even if you’re breastfeeding! It has great support, the open back is so cute, and the entire dress seems perfectly designed for the postpartum mom who wans to wear something flirty and fun.

The Best Cooler For Snacks & Goodies

Bogg Brr Half Cooler

Bogg -

One thing we’re not about to do on our first day out with baby: spend a million dollars. The Bogg Brr Half Cooler is the perfect size for loading up with your own snacks and drinks so you can sit with your baby outside the library, wander around town, or even just go for a walk and not worry about the price of anything. If you have a Bogg bag, this cooler fits neatly inside, but it’s perfect for toting around on its own, too.

When a new mom says she’s “fine,” it doesn’t always mean she is. Beneath the surface of feeding schedules, sleepy newborn cuddles, and daily routines, many women are quietly navigating exhaustion, overwhelm, and something harder to name.

For some, that experience is postpartum depression (PPD). Studies show that one in eight women in the U.S. will experience it, yet many continue moving through their days, doing what needs to be done, even while something beneath the surface feels off.

Even without a formal diagnosis, “many new mothers feel very exhausted and overwhelmed,” says Dr. Anushka Chelliah, MD, a board-certified maternal-fetal medicine specialist at Pediatrix Medical Group. “They may feel lonely, or a loss of identity, given so much of themselves are consumed with motherhood.”

So how do you support someone through all of that without minimizing it, overstepping, or defaulting to well-meaning but ultimately unhelpful clichés? It turns out, the answer is less about finding the perfect thing to say and more about understanding what she might actually be carrying.

Check In, Even If She Seems “Okay”

The tricky part is that a mom struggling with PPD might not always look like she’s struggling. Rachel, a mom who experienced postpartum depression after the birth of her son, remembers how easy it was to appear “fine” on the outside.

“The high-functioning part of me was like, ‘feel your feelings, but you have a job to get done,’” says Rachel. And for a while, that’s what carried her through, but underneath it, things were starting to shift. The baby blues didn’t lift, and that low feeling slowly deepened.

When feelings of overwhelm persist or begin to interfere with daily life, they can signal something more. Lorain Moorehead, LCSW, PMH-C, a licensed clinical social worker, notes that many new moms assume this is simply how it’s supposed to feel — or that everyone else is handling it better — so they don’t ask for help. Instead, they keep pushing through. From the outside, everything can look completely fine, even when it isn’t.

That’s why it can help to check in proactively. If she says she’s “OK” but seems off, Chelliah suggests gently naming it: “I know you, and you don’t seem fine — do you want to talk about what’s been hard?” It opens the door without forcing her to walk through it.

Moorehead adds that support is often most effective when it feels easy to accept. Keep it simple: a quick check-in, a text that doesn’t require a long response, or just being present. You’re not trying to get her to say something — you’re making it a little easier for her if she does.

Skip The Clichés (They Don’t Help Like You Think)

So many new moms with PPD can recite the same lines they keep hearing — “It’s just a phase,” “Every mom goes through this,” “You’ll be fine.” Rachel heard them, too, and even though she knew people meant well, they didn’t really sit right. “I think a lot of people don’t know how to react to someone struggling, so they give a ‘reassuring’ blanket statement,” she says. The problem is that those kinds of comments can feel dismissive of something that’s already hard to explain. As Moorehead puts it, advice like this can “oversimplify a complex situation” and even “minimize something that actually requires concern.”

Sometimes the most supportive thing you can do is let go of the urge to wrap it up with a neat, comforting line and meet her where she actually is. That can look like saying, “That sounds really hard,” without rushing to fix it. Or try “I’m here — do you want to vent or just sit?” and let her choose. It might mean reflecting what you’re hearing (“You sound exhausted”), asking open-ended questions instead of offering solutions, or simply staying present without trying to change the mood. Chelliah suggests simple, grounding responses such as “I know this is really hard” or “I’m glad you told me.”

Help Her Without Putting More On Her Plate

There’s a subtle difference between offering help and creating one more thing for a mom to respond to. “Let me know if you need anything” sounds generous, but it also puts the onus back on her when she’s already exhausted. Moorehead suggests being more specific with the options: “I’d love to stop by and make a meal,” so the help feels easier to accept. Chelliah agrees that practical support matters, and Rachel felt that in small but meaningful ways: “I told my husband I needed to take a shower every single day and he always made sure I could,” she says. The support doesn’t have to be complicated — just enough to help her feel a little more like herself again.

Remind Her She’s Not Failing

A lot of this period can come with a thought she might not say out loud: “Why does this feel so hard for me?” Moorehead says many new moms don’t ask for help because of a “perceived expectation that they are supposed to be happy.” This means your words have more influence than you might think. This is where encouragement helps, but not the vague, overly cheerful kind. As Chelliah puts it, even saying “I know this is a really hard time” and reminding her she’s doing a good job can go a long way. It might seem small, but it can interrupt that nagging sense that she’s getting it wrong and replace it with something more comforting.

Encourage Her To Reach Out For Extra Support

When it is PPD, the signs can be easy to miss at first. As Chelliah explains, feelings of overwhelm can sometimes deepen into something more persistent, especially when they’re tied to a sense of hopelessness. Moorehead adds that signs such as being unable to sleep “even when the opportunity arises,” feeling increasingly withdrawn, or experiencing a sense of disconnection from the baby can all be signals that extra support may be helpful.

If you’re noticing those changes, support can also mean gently encouraging her to connect with a professional. That might look like helping research therapists in her insurance network, sitting with her while she makes the call, or watching the baby so she can make it to an appointment. It’s not about pushing or diagnosing — it’s about reminding her she doesn’t have to carry this alone, and that reaching for support is more than okay.

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You’ve spent 40 weeks (give or take) growing a whole human. Your body performed the ultimate biological magic trick, and since then, you’ve kept a tiny, demanding roommate fed, clothed, and relatively happy. By any objective standard, you are crushing it!

So why, in the quiet moments between diaper changes, does it feel like you’re failing at everything?

You’re sold a version of motherhood that’s all soft-focus lighting, gentle cuddles, and “pure bliss.” But for many, the reality is a lot less magical — and much heavier. Instead of that promised glow, you might be feeling a simmering rage, a total lack of interest in the baby, or a crushing sense of guilt that follows you from room to room.

If that sounds familiar, you aren’t a “bad mom.” You’re likely one of the one in eight women in the U.S. navigating postpartum depression (PPD).

“Many of the women I work with often don’t realize they are experiencing depression,” explains Jaime Filler, LMFT, PMH-C, a therapist who specializes in perinatal mental health. “Instead, they believe there’s something fundamentally wrong with them as a parent.”

It’s time to stop the bad mommy narrative in its tracks. Here are three reasons why PPD makes you feel like you’re failing and why that feeling is actually just a symptom — not a fact.

1. You Feel Disconnected From Your Baby

You’re conditioned to feel that instantaneous “love at first sight” connection with your baby. But when PPD causes symptoms like persistent sadness, crying, irritability, overwhelm, and apathy, it can make it incredibly challenging to feel the spark. This goes against everything women are told we’re supposed to feel at this stage in our lives, says Leigh Hall, LMFT, a mental health therapist for Octave.

For many, breastfeeding exacerbates feelings of detachment. Whether it’s a latch issue, supply stress, or just the sheer mental drain of being a human snack bar, breastfeeding struggles are a major trigger for PPD shame.

“Many new mothers are surprised by how difficult and stressful breastfeeding can be, and feel inadequate if they struggle with it or are unable to [breastfeed],” Hall explains. “Shame and guilt only worsen PPD, exacerbating feelings of disconnection and increasing the tendency to isolate.”

2. You See Other Moms Thriving

Social media shows a constant highlight reel of other women basking in the glory of new motherhood, and it’s hard not to compare yourself to them — especially when you feel like the poster parent for an Instagram vs. Reality reel.

Many moms get stuck in the comparison trap, asking themselves, “Other people do this just fine, why can’t I?” explains Melanie Barrett, MD, a psychiatrist at LifeStance Health. This can spiral into excessive guilt, shame, and the belief that their symptoms are a personal failure.

“That belief can really interfere with how they experience parenting,” Barrett says. “It can make it harder to feel present, to trust themselves, or to enjoy moments with their baby — not because they don’t care, but because depression is clouding everything.”

3. You See Your Diagnosis As The Ultimate Failure

Many new moms strive for perfectionism and judge themselves when they struggle, explains Filler. PPD diagnosis is often deeply tied to shame, with moms feeling like they’re falling behind for anything less than flawless parenting.

“Shame thrives in silence, and many mothers keep these thoughts to themselves because they’re afraid other people will judge them or confirm their worst fears,” Filler notes. “When someone is carrying that much distress alone, the transition into parenting can feel even heavier and more overwhelming.”

How To Rewrite The “Bad Mom” Narrative

The first thing any mom with PPD should know is that they’re not alone, Filler explains. She encourages moms struggling with PPD to start with self-compassion.

“If a close friend came to you and shared that she was struggling after having a baby, would you see her as a failure?” Filler asks. “Most mothers would immediately say no! But they often hold themselves to a much harsher standard.”

Struggling as a new mom doesn’t mean you’re incapable of loving or caring for your baby. It means you’re hurting and need support, which is not the same as failure, Filler says. She encourages new moms to look at the many ways they’re already showing up for their baby. The fact that they’re worried, seeking help, and trying hard demonstrates how deeply they care.

“Postpartum depression is something you experience; it is not who you are,” Filler says. “There’s nothing weak, selfish, or broken about needing support during this time.”

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Choosing where to give birth isn’t always a blank slate decision. If you already have an obstetrician you love, they’re likely affiliated with a specific hospital where they have privileges — and that may very well be where you deliver. But if you’re earlier in the process, navigating a first pregnancy or even a seasoned mom realizing you want something different this time around, it’s worth taking a closer look at what different hospitals actually offer. Because beyond proximity, it’s about understanding the kind of care you’ll receive in one of the most unpredictable, high-stakes, and deeply personal moments of your life. It’s a big decision, but asking the right questions early can make it feel a whole lot more manageable.

Health systems like Inova — a leading nonprofit provider in Northern Virginia and the Washington, DC, metro area — are rethinking maternity care around the kind of support this stage of life actually calls for. The goal is something more connected: prenatal visits that feed into your delivery plan, access to specialists if things shift along the way and postpartum care that doesn’t quietly taper off after the six-week checkup. Care that follows you through the whole arc, not just the day you give birth.

So, what should you be asking as you narrow things down? Don’t worry, we won’t leave you Lamaze-breathing your way through this alone. Read on for a few smart places to start.

1. What Level Of NICU Do You Have?

It’s one of those questions you kind of cross your fingers you won’t need, but you’ll still be really glad you asked. Neonatal Intensive Care Units (NICUs) are categorized by level, with Level I handling routine newborn care and Level IV equipped for the most complex, critical cases. If something unexpected happens, having access to higher-level NICU care — without the need for a transfer — can make a meaningful difference.

At Inova, for example, every hospital offers NICU support, with a nationally ranked Level IV NICU at Inova L.J. Murphy Children’s Hospital, so advanced care is already built into the system. According to Dr. Scott Sullivan, MD, a board-certified maternal-fetal medicine specialist at Inova Fairfax Hospital, this is one of the big ones to understand upfront. He recommends asking, “What is your NICU level, and do neonatologists attend high-risk deliveries?” noting that “a Level III or IV NICU can manage very preterm or medically complex newborns.”

And it’s not just something to think about if you already know you’re high-risk: “Term babies can still need advanced support,” he says, whether that’s due to respiratory issues, blood sugar instability, or something unexpected during delivery. His bigger point is about being prepared for the unknown. “The safest hospital is one that can handle the worst-case scenario for your specific pregnancy, even if everything goes smoothly,” he noted. Because at the end of the day, you’re not just picking a place for your birth plan; you’re choosing somewhere that feels just as prepared for the unexpected as it does for the straightforward.

2. What Happens In An Emergency C-section?

While surgery might not be on your radar, part of feeling prepared is knowing how a hospital responds when plans change. Ask what’s available onsite and how quickly the team can act if a C-section becomes necessary. Sullivan recommends getting specific here and suggested that parents ask, “What emergency services are available 24/7?” He points to essentials like “blood bank, anesthesia, operating room readiness, and intensive care unit (ICU) access” as signs of a system that can respond quickly when needed. He also notes that one of the biggest missteps parents make is assuming every hospital is equipped the same way. In reality, some facilities may stabilize and transfer rather than provide full onsite care — something worth clarifying ahead of time.

It’s less about expecting something to go wrong and more about knowing exactly how your care team is set up to respond if it does, so you’re not left figuring it out in a high-stress situation.

3. Will My Care Team Coordinate With Specialists If Needed?

Even if your pregnancy is routine, it’s still worth understanding how connected your care team really is. If plans take a turn, you don’t want to be the one relaying information between providers or figuring out next steps on your own. Ask how communication works behind the scenes and whether specialists are part of the same system or brought in separately. Sullivan suggests getting specific, like asking, “Do you have maternal-fetal medicine specialists on-site or on-call?” so you know who’s available if your needs change. Because ideally, your team is already in sync, so that you can stay focused on everything else.

If you already know your pregnancy is higher risk, those questions become even more important. Sullivan recommends asking, “What level of maternal and neonatal care do you provide?” as well as, “How do you manage the specific conditions I have?” whether that’s gestational diabetes, preeclampsia or a history of preterm birth. As he put it, finding the right hospital is really about “matching risk level to capability,” meaning you want a setting that’s equipped to meet your needs not just today, but if things evolve along the way.

In this space, Inova stands out, with The Joint Commission verification for Level IV maternal care at Inova Fairfax Hospital and national recognition from U.S. News for its OB-GYN and NICU services. It’s the kind of backup plan you hope you won’t need but will feel peace of mind knowing that it exists.

4. What Does Your Care Philosophy Look Like?

This one is less about checklists and more about how a hospital actually approaches your experience day to day. Some are more intervention-heavy; others prioritize flexibility and patient preferences. So, it’s worth asking how decisions are made and how involved you’ll be in them. Sullivan suggests questions like, “Who will be present during my labor and delivery?” and “How are decisions made during labor if complications arise?” to get a sense of both the care team and whether there’s an emphasis on shared decision-making. He also points to details like nurse-to-patient ratios and available pain management options as clues into how attentive and individualized your care will feel.

At Inova specifically, it shows up as a thoughtful mix of evidence-based care and a more personal, human approach. That means welcoming doulas into the room, making space for your preferences, and treating you like an active part of the decision-making process, not just another patient moving through a system. It also includes options such as certified nurse-midwives as part of the hospital-based care team, offering a more personalized, often lower-intervention approach while still providing immediate access to OB-GYNs and specialists if needed. And if you’re interested in going that route, the goal is to get you connected early. Many patients are able to schedule a pregnancy confirmation appointment with a midwife within about 72 hours of reaching out, sometimes even as soon as the next day, so your care plan can start taking shape right away.

5. What Postpartum Resources Are Available?

A lot of the focus tends to be on the baby, but what about mom? Those early weeks can feel like a blur of feedings, very little sleep, and a mix of physical recovery and emotions you didn’t exactly plan for. It’s worth asking what kind of care is actually built into your experience, so you’re not left crowdsourcing answers from an internet search at 2 a.m. or asking random strangers online.

Are there screenings for postpartum depression or anxiety? Access to counseling? Support for healing, pain management, or complications? Follow-up care beyond your standard OB-GYN visit? Sullivan suggests asking directly, “What support is available postpartum, like lactation consultants, mental health and hemorrhage monitoring?” to get the entire picture of what happens after delivery. More broadly, he emphasized looking for hospitals that “combine protocol-driven safety with individualized, respectful care,” meaning you’re not just medically monitored, but actually cared for as a whole person during recovery. Because those early weeks aren’t just about healing, they’re about having the right kind of care in place while you figure out your new normal.

6. What Are Your Safety Outcomes And Patient Experience Like?

Beyond the basics, it’s worth getting a feel for how a hospital performs and what the patient experience is actually like. Things like C-section rates, patient reviews and nursing care can give you a clearer picture of what day-to-day care looks like, not just what’s promised on a website. Not all hospitals run the same way, and those differences can show up in both outcomes and how supported you feel while you’re there.

At Inova, that includes recognitions like Magnet designation for nursing excellence and being named Press Ganey Health System of the Year for innovation, leadership, and patient experience, which speaks to both the clinical side and how that care is actually experienced.

There’s no way to predict exactly how birth will unfold, but choosing a place designed to handle every possibility can make all the difference. Find a care team you trust, ask the questions that matter to you, and remember: You’ve got this.

To learn more about Inova and their maternal services, please visit inova.org.

Sometimes you have to approach a problem from every possible angle. But postpartum depression (PPD) is uniquely disorienting: the very symptoms you’re trying to manage — exhaustion, brain fog, hopelessness, irritability — can make it nearly impossible to do the things that are “supposed” to help. From my own experience, even after I connected with a psychologist who specialized in PPD and began building a real support system, I still felt paralyzed, overwhelmed, and too depleted to tackle the wellness routines that flood your feed.

At-home Pilates? Sure. Long, mindful walks in nature? In theory. Batch-cooking hormone-balancing meals? Please.

What I needed wasn’t a total life overhaul. It was small, low-lift supports that met me exactly where I was. And surprisingly, a handful of simple items — some practical, some comforting — made a quiet but meaningful difference as I worked through PPD. If you’re in it right now, these might be worth adding to your own toolkit.

1. A Completely Unhinged Sephora Haul

I was only a couple of weeks into motherhood when I felt a bone-deep, borderline urgent need to contour my face. Never mind that my nipples were raw, I hadn’t slept in days, and I barely recognized the person staring back at me in the mirror. A voice in my head guided me to toward Sephora, where I cathartically added-to-cart like my life depended on it.

Amid all the excitement and adjustment that comes with having a new baby, I remember this purchase because it was completely unnecessary. Everything else I bought in those early days was out of need: diapers (for baby and me), wipes, nipple cream, and nursing bras. Ordering some “just because” cosmetics was a lovely detour on the PPD highway. It reminded me that I was still a person with preferences and wants — not just a body keeping another human alive.

Merit Bronze Balm Sheer Sculpting Bronzer

Sephora -

2. A Gorgeous Cookbook From Your Favorite Instagram Chef

My Instagram feed transitioned from recipes and fashion tips to all things New Mom Life. It became a fun-house mirror of my life — perfect moms perfectly feeding their perfectly sleeping babies.

But when a friend gifted me an assortment of beautiful cookbooks, they became the offline portal I needed to feel inspired without feeling overwhelmed. Was I cooking? No. But before my baby, I loved to cook, and paging through lush photography, insightful tips, and recipes provided a much-needed break from the doom scroll. It let me reconnect with something I enjoyed without the pressure to perform it perfectly.

By Heart: Recipes to Hold Near and Dear

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3. A Hairbrush That Won’t Rip Your Hair Out

A surprisingly helpful tool for anyone who’s dealt with depression. After days of “I’ll brush it tomorrow,” I felt dread at the thought of detangling my hair. But when a friend who’d been through PPD sent me what she dubbed her “Depression Stick,” I could finally check one thing off my list — even if it was as small as brushing my own hair.

Kitsch Detangling Flexi Brush

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4. A Sane Way To Prep Dinner

When I had my second child, the reality of juggling PPD and mom guilt felt like too much to carry. Since my knack for the kitchen went out the door with PPD, I outsourced what I could, and found that Little Spoon offered nutritious pre-made meals with clean ingredients that my 3-year-old would miraculously enjoy.

Taking this stress off my plate (literally) gave me room to breathe and simply connect with my 3-year-old at mealtime instead of quietly crying over burnt broccoli.

Little Spoon Ready-to-Eat Plates

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5. A Portable Laundry Hamper

There are a lot of issues I have with laundry — the amount of it, the time it takes, and the folding it requires. But one of the biggest hassles is simply moving it from one room to another. While this hamper (unfortunately) doesn’t solve every complaint, its nifty folding mechanism makes it easier to scoop up dirty clothes like a Birkin bag and haul them to the washing machine.

When you’re knee-deep in PPD, and everything is hard, anything that makes daily life a little easier is worth it.

Yamazaki Laundry Hamper

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6. A Pair Of Sneakers That Require Zero Effort

In the throes of PPD, even bending down (with a baby strapped to your chest) to tie your shoes can be reason enough to stay put. But what if you could slide into a pair of shoes that not only supported your fallen arches but also looked cute?

Kizik shoes are designed with hands-free technology that is truly hands-free without sacrificing support. No bending required.

Kizik Brooklyn Slip-On Sneaker

Kizik -

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If you’re experiencing postpartum depression (PPD), it can feel incredibly isolating — especially during a season that everyone tells you is supposed to be “the happiest time of your life.” The truth is, postpartum depression is common, deeply personal, and often misunderstood. It doesn’t always look like constant tears or an inability to get out of bed. Sometimes it looks like irritability, numbness, anxiety, or simply not feeling like yourself anymore. And because it shows up differently for everyone, it can be hard to recognize — even harder to talk about.

Here, three moms share what it really looked like for them.

The Mom Who Had Anxiety And Depression Pre-Baby

Rachel, 35, lives in New York and is mom to a 4-year-old son. Before getting pregnant, she thought she had a solid understanding of postpartum depression. “I knew a little bit about PPD pre-pregnancy, but I didn't really know the nuances of it — especially how it can manifest as rage,” she says. Because she had a history of anxiety and depression, she stayed in close contact with her therapist throughout pregnancy, continuing treatment and speaking candidly about the possibility of postpartum depression or anxiety.

Her pregnancy was smooth. Delivery was “breezy,” too. In those first days, she actually felt surprisingly good.

Then the baby blues came — and didn’t fade.

“Instead, the feelings continued and deepened,” she says. For Rachel, PPD showed up as postpartum rage. “I was beyond irritable and had a short fuse. I took a lot of it out on my poor husband, but it felt truly out of my control.” She felt constantly on edge, easily overstimulated, and trapped in what she describes as a “dark haze.” The intrusive thoughts she’d managed before motherhood intensified. “I vividly remember thinking I would drop my son any time I was holding him. It was awful.”

Even with a strong mental health foundation, she realized she needed more support. Alongside therapy, Rachel worked closely with her doctor and a mental health specialist to adjust her care plan for about six months. “It kind of gave me that extra push,” she says.

Now, with distance, she encourages other moms not to dismiss what they’re feeling. “Be gentle with yourself. Don’t convince yourself that it’s ‘only baby blues’ or that you can power through it,” she says. “It’s OK to ask for help — you shouldn’t feel ashamed.”

The Mom Whose PPD Was Tied To Birth Trauma And Feeding Struggles

Juliana, 40, lives in North Carolina and has two kids, ages 4 and 6. Her first birth was traumatic. “I had an emergency C-section with my first child, and my epidural wore off. I still have nightmares about it.” In the days after delivery, everything felt foggy and disjointed. “Post delivery, it was all a haze. I could barely move and I knew pretty quickly that something wasn’t right.”

Instead of joy, she felt irritated and completely depleted. “I remember my speech being very slow, almost slurred. And I barely moved, except if it was for the baby.” Most days, she sat on the couch or in bed, staring straight ahead, holding her daughter upright after feeds — no small task with a colicky newborn. The physical recovery was hard, but the emotional weight felt heavier.

Things began to shift around her daughter’s three-month check-up, when she learned her baby wasn’t gaining enough weight and the pediatrician suggested supplementing with formula. “It felt like the pediatrician gave me permission to stop breastfeeding and stop feeling like such a failure,” Juliana says. That moment — letting go of the pressure she had placed on herself — became an unexpected turning point.

When she welcomed her second baby two years later, she felt more prepared. She recognized the signs sooner, trusted her instincts, and reached out for support earlier. Now, she hopes other mothers hear this: “You can love your baby more than anything and still hate being a mom at first. It’s a rough transition. Give yourself time.”

The Mom Who Thought It Was Just Harder The Second Time Around

Jillian, 36, lives in New Jersey and is mom to two kids, ages 4½ and 3. Physically, her second pregnancy was “textbook and relatively easy.” Emotionally, it was more complicated. “I became pregnant a lot sooner than expected,” she says. “When I found out, I was overwhelmed with sadness — sad because I didn’t feel ready, and sad that I felt sad instead of elated.” The guilt of not feeling purely happy weighed on her from the start.

After delivery, she initially felt great. “I was immediately in love with this beautiful baby boy,” she says. Without the uncertainty of first-time motherhood, she felt present and capable. But around the second month postpartum, something began to shift. “It built over time,” she explains. “Going from one to two children was a big transition, and it was difficult to tell what was ‘normal’ hard or if it was something bigger.”

One afternoon, the tension bubbled over. As she struggled to get her toddler’s shoes on, frustration escalated until her daughter burst into tears and asked for her dad instead. “I went into my bedroom and just started sobbing. The words ‘I am such a failure’ kept echoing in my head.” Logically, she knew that wasn’t true — but in that moment, it felt undeniable.

“The voice in my head was extremely negative,” she says. She didn’t want to get out of bed. The things that once energized her felt unreachable. A close friend gently pointed out that she didn’t seem like herself and encouraged her to talk to someone. Therapy helped her put language to what she was feeling and reminded her she wasn’t broken — she was overwhelmed and struggling.

Now, Jillian wants other moms to trust their instincts. “Motherhood is hard — but it doesn’t have to be so hard that you feel like you’re drowning inside. If you feel even the slightest bit ‘off,’ talk to someone.”

Postpartum depression doesn’t follow one script. It can look like rage, self-doubt, numbness, or a heaviness that slowly settles in. What these moms share is this: naming it — and reaching for support — can make all the difference.

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Remember your six-week postpartum checkup? Your OB likely handed you a clipboard and asked you to fill out a screening for postpartum depression (PPD). It can feel like a milestone: You made it through pregnancy, delivery, and those hazy newborn weeks. You’re in the clear — right?

But what if the hard feelings don’t show up until later? What if the fog, sadness, or anxiety creeps in at three months — or even six? What if it happens well after the newborn stage?

According to experts, that’s more common than many moms realize.

Yes, PPD Can Show Up Months Later

The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-5) technically defines PPD as depression that begins during pregnancy or within four weeks of delivery. But in practice, it’s rarely that tidy.

“Symptoms consistent with a major depressive episode may appear much later — some research suggests they can develop three, six, or even up to 12 months after delivery,” says Dr. Zachary Rubeo, a board-certified maternal-fetal medicine specialist at Pediatrix Medical Group.

Clinically, many providers consider postpartum depression to include depression that begins anytime within the first year after birth. And even beyond that window, symptoms tied to pregnancy or the postpartum transition deserve attention.

“We sort of say that it can show up anytime,” says Dr. Catherine Birndorf, a reproductive psychiatrist and CEO of The Motherhood Center. “As long as there are seeds of it from the pregnancy, delivery, or postpartum.” For example, if someone comes in years later describing depression that began after having children, “I’m like, you probably had untreated postpartum depression. We just don’t call it that when the kid’s four,” she explains.

In other words: If it began around the transition to motherhood, it counts — even if no one named it at the time.

How Common Is PPD?

PPD is both very common — and often misunderstood.

Research estimates that 10 to 20% of new mothers worldwide experience PPD, though many clinicians believe the actual number is much higher. Birndorf estimates it may affect as many as one in three women, with rates often higher among BIPOC mothers due to disparities in care and systemic barriers.

“It’s underreported, underdiagnosed, undertreated, and misunderstood. Often, we just suck it up because we’re women,” she notes.

Part of the issue is timing. After the standard four- to eight-week postpartum visit, many parents aren’t screened again unless they raise concerns themselves.

Why Symptoms Can Emerge Later

There isn’t one single cause of late-onset PPD. It’s usually a mix of hormonal shifts, exhaustion, and cumulative stress.

Rubeo explains that support often changes in the months after birth. Early on, there may be a flurry of family and friends dropping off meals and checking in, but by three months, that help often fades. Around the same time, many U.S. parents return to work, navigating separation from their baby while juggling childcare logistics and financial pressure. As families settle into a “new normal,” the demands of parenting pile up — and for parents who were already vulnerable, or whose earlier symptoms went unnoticed, that added stress can tip the balance.

What Late-Onset PPD Can Feel Like

PPD doesn’t always look like sobbing on the bathroom floor. Sometimes it looks like irritability, numbness, or the sense that everything feels heavier than it should.

That’s why Birndorf prefers the broader term “perinatal mood anxiety disorder” (PMAD), which includes depression but also anxiety, OCD, PTSD, and psychosis.

Rubeo says patients often report depressed mood, hopelessness, and a loss of interest in activities. Other symptoms can include fatigue, difficulty concentrating, agitation, guilt (especially around caring for the baby), and weight changes unrelated to dieting.

“Every patient’s presentation is unique,” Rubeo says. “If your mental health feels persistently altered from your baseline and it’s affecting your daily life or bonding with your baby, that’s worth paying attention to.”

In severe cases, some women experience hallucinations or thoughts of self-harm or harming their baby. These situations are rare but require immediate medical attention.

What To Do If This Sounds Familiar

Even if symptoms emerge months after birth, they are still valid — and treatable.

“The most important thing is not to keep your symptoms to yourself,” says Rubeo. “Too many women suffer alone because of stigma or feelings of failure as a parent.”

He encourages parents to reach out to their OB-GYN or primary care provider. Treatment is effective and may include therapy, medication, support groups, or a combination.

Motherhood can change your hormones, your sleep, and your identity. If your mental health shifts too — even months later — that’s not a personal failure. It’s a sign you deserve support.

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Bringing home a newborn can be equal parts awe-inspiring and overwhelming. One moment, you’re soaking in the weight of them on your chest; the next, you’re navigating sleepless nights and the enormous responsibility of caring for a brand-new human who depends on you for everything. Even under the best circumstances, the postpartum period is a profound adjustment.

Because exhaustion, emotional swings, and moments of self-doubt are so common in those early weeks, it can be difficult to recognize when something more serious — like postpartum depression (PPD) — may be at play. Many moms expect to feel tired or stretched thin, and may not realize when their feelings go beyond the typical challenges of new parenthood.

Misunderstandings about PPD can add another layer of confusion. But knowing the facts isn’t just empowering; it can help moms seek support sooner and feel less alone in the process.

Here are five common myths — and the truths that can help you or someone you love navigate this season with clarity and confidence.

Myth #1: PPD Is Rare

If a mom believes that PPD is rare, she may assume she doesn’t have it. PPD affects 1 in 8 women in the U.S., yet nearly half are never diagnosed by a health professional. That lack of diagnosis can reinforce the false belief that PPD is uncommon, and, even when she is struggling, make it easier to dismiss symptoms.

Myth #2: PPD Only Happens Right After Birth

In movies and TV shows, PPD is often portrayed as happening in the immediate aftermath of birth — either in the hospital or within the first few weeks at home. In reality, the postpartum period is typically defined as lasting up to six months, though emotional and physical recovery can extend beyond that, and the timeline varies for everyone.

With that in mind, PPD can begin immediately after birth or emerge months later. According to Dr. Sanam Hafeez, founder and director of Comprehend the Mind, a parent may seem to be doing well at first, only to develop symptoms several months postpartum. There is no set timeline for PPD, and just because a mother seems fine initially does not mean she’s immune.

Myth #3: A Mom With PPD Doesn’t Love Her Child

As a new mom (or any parent), it can be terrifying to imagine that someone might question your love for your child. That fear alone is a major barrier for women to acknowledge their symptoms or seek support.

To be clear: PPD does not mean that a mother does not love her child. “The idea of not loving your kid is simply not true,” says Hafeez. “Your hormones are running the show. You have such little say.”

Myth #4: Moms With PPD Want To Harm Their Babies

This is an area where there’s often confusion about what PPD actually involves.

“Postpartum depression does not come with a desire to hurt yourself or your baby,” says Hafeez. Some moms may experience intrusive thoughts, but those thoughts are typically unwanted and distressing — not reflective of their true feelings or intentions.

A separate and rare condition, postpartum psychosis, carries different symptoms and risks. It affects approximately 0.089 to 2.6 people per 1,000 births.

Most importantly: PPD is common, treatable, and does not define a mother’s love or her ability to care for her child.

Myth #5: There’s No Stigma Around PPD Anymore

In 2026, postpartum depression isn’t always whispered about behind closed doors. Many women share their experiences openly on social media, and celebrities have spoken candidly about their struggles. With so much conversation, it can seem as though the stigma has disappeared.

But Hafeez says that’s far from the full picture. “There are certain cultures that look down on a mom ‘making it about herself,’” she says. And she doesn’t just mean defined cultural groups. “I see people who say, ‘nope, we don’t go to shrinks in our family.’”

When it’s assumed that every mom who’s struggling will feel comfortable talking about it, a large subset of people can fall through the cracks. Not every mom feels able to admit to her loved ones, her doctors, or even to herself that she may be struggling with PPD. That’s why postpartum mental health can’t depend solely on moms raising their hands. Providers should proactively screen and revisit the conversation over time, recognizing that symptoms may not appear immediately. Consistent check-ins help normalize these discussions and make it easier for moms to accept support when they need it.

If you think you or someone you know might be experiencing PPD, reach out to a doctor or mental health professional. While it can feel isolating, know that you don’t have to go through it alone.

Presented by BDG Studios

For many moms, the newborn phase is painted as a happy one, even if you’re not getting much sleep. There’s a lot to marvel at, from tiny toes to a first real laugh. But those first weeks can also feel isolating. You might find yourself nap-trapped under a Velcro baby or unsure about nursing in public. Isolation is a major risk factor for postpartum depression (PPD), while research shows that strong social support can be protective.

That’s where community comes in. It’s not just a helpful extra — it can be foundational. In fact, “community support is one of the most protective factors against postpartum depression,” says Dr. Niyati Dhand, M.D., a double board-certified perinatal and reproductive psychiatrist at Alaire Psychiatry in Chicago. “It helps prevent isolation and provides parents with reassurance, encouragement, and validation.” But not everyone has easy access to that kind of village. Here’s why it matters — and how to build it.

How Loneliness Impacts PPD

The baby blues are common after childbirth, thanks to hormonal shifts, sleep deprivation, and the weight of new responsibility. The postpartum period can feel overwhelming, even if your baby eats and sleeps well. But PPD is more intense, and many of the signs providers look for involve withdrawal from daily life and a deepening sense of loneliness.

One red flag is pulling away from friends or family. It’s not just needing rest, but “isolation or distancing from loved ones,” says Dhand. That might look like ignoring calls or going weeks without seeing close friends. You might also feel detached from routines or activities that would otherwise ground you.

Other symptoms include losing interest in things that usually bring you joy. Letting self-care fall by the wayside can also signal something more serious, especially when it goes “beyond the typical demands of new parenthood,” says Dhand. “For example, skipping showers, teeth-brushing, or meals, not because of limited time, but due to low motivation or apathy.”

If you suspect you or a loved one may be experiencing PPD, support is available through Postpartum Support International, which offers a dedicated helpline and resources.

Why Community Counts So Much

Community offers tangible support. “Beyond emotional support, practical help such as assisting with childcare, meals, feeding, and laundry can be life-changing,” says Dhand. That help can give parents meaningful stretches of physical and mental rest — both essential for recovery.

Peer support can be especially powerful. Even if they aren’t experiencing PPD themselves, “they can still be empathetic and understanding,” says Adrienne Griffen, the executive director of the Maternal Mental Health Leadership Alliance.

But there’s another layer of support that can come with talking to someone who has experienced PPD firsthand. “Every mom who goes through this thinks that they are the only one,” Griffen says. “When you hear somebody else say that they’re having those same feelings, it’s extremely validating and normalizing.”

That shared understanding can also ease the pressure of trying to be a “perfect” mom. “Being around other women who are also struggling can feel like a relief,” says Dr. Marcie Weiner, Psy.D., a senior perinatal psychologist and clinical director at the Postpartum Stress Center in Philadelphia. “Motherhood is a huge adjustment.”

How To Build Your Community

Finding a community can feel daunting, which is why planning ahead helps. Before giving birth, find a few consistent anchors. “Individuals you feel emotionally safe turning to during moments of stress,” says Dhand. Your support system doesn’t have to be large — just reliable.

Dhand also recommends identifying professional support in advance, such as a lactation consultant, perinatal therapist, reproductive psychiatrist, pelvic-floor therapist, postpartum doula, or primary care physician. You may not need all of them, but having names and numbers ready can make it easier to reach out if you’re already overwhelmed.

That said, try to avoid relying on social media as your primary source of connection. “People look like they’re managing so perfectly, and all you see is all these ways that you’re failing,” says Weiner. Instead, she encourages moms to seek in-person connection. “Gravitate to places where there are other moms. Being around other moms who are doing what you’re doing is such a better option than sitting there scrolling on social media.”

Getting out the door can feel impossible — especially if you’re struggling with PPD — but even small steps toward connection can make a meaningful difference.

Presented by BDG Studios

If you are postpartum and your brain feels like spotty Wi-Fi, dropping words mid-sentence, forgetting why you walked into a room, or freezing over simple decisions, you are not alone. Postpartum “brain fog” is real, and it can feel especially unsettling when it appears alongside postpartum depression (PPD).

Clinically, brain fog isn’t a single symptom. “Women often describe a dip in memory, focus, and the ability to say the word they’re looking for,” says Lorain Moorehead, LCSW, PMH-C, a licensed clinical social worker. While it’s often brushed off as “mom brain,” cognitive symptoms are “very common in the postpartum period,” says Dr. Carlene Denis, MD, a board-certified OB/GYN. In one study, about 26% of first-time moms showed measurable cognitive impairment in the postpartum period.

“Between the hormonal changes and the sleep deprivation, feeling like your best self is difficult to do,” says Denis. There’s also the emotional recovery of pregnancy and birth (especially if someone experienced a traumatic delivery or is struggling to bond), which can intensify the fog.

The good news is that brain fog does not mean you are failing at parenthood or doing anything wrong. Experts emphasize the importance of working with your brain during this phase, rather than fighting against it. Understanding why this is happening is a powerful first step, and from there, there are supportive, realistic ways to move through it at your own pace.

Stop Trying to “Push Through” (And Lower Your Mental Load)

While mental clarity often returns gradually as hormones stabilize, Moorehead emphasizes that it is the in-between period where systems, not willpower, make the greatest difference. “Increasing brain clarity is a process that takes time,” she says. “In the interim, setting up systems and approaches that may not have been necessary before can be a huge asset, both now and in the future.”

Trying to simply “push through” this phase, experts warn, can actually slow progress. “It can increase stress, worsen fatigue, and leave people feeling even more overwhelmed, which may delay recognizing when additional support is needed,” adds Dr. Anushka Chelliah, MD, a board-certified maternal-fetal medicine specialist.

What to consider:

• Limit your daily to-do list to one or two tasks. “Do not put more than one or two tasks on the daily list,” Denis advises. Fewer decisions mean less strain on an already taxed brain.
• Reduce complexity wherever possible. Chelliah suggests breaking tasks into smaller, more manageable steps, such as doing one type of laundry at a time, to reduce cognitive load and conserve mental energy.
• Pre-load future tasks. Set thing ups now so your future self doesn’t have to rely on memory or motivation. For example, “put items you need to return or mail directly in the car so you don’t have to remember later,” says Moorehead.
• Externalize your memory. Phone reminders, notes apps, and written lists can help take the pressure off your brain so it does not have to hold everything.
• Let others carry the invisible work. If you have support, use it. “You take care of the baby, and everyone else takes care of you,” says Denis. As they say, raising kids takes a village.

It’s Not Just About How Little Sleep You’re Getting

If postpartum moms had a penny for every time someone told them to “sleep when the baby sleeps,” they could at least afford a decent cup of coffee. While sleep deprivation absolutely plays a role, it is far from the whole story. “Although sleep deprivation may be a contributing factor, the postpartum period involves many physiological stressors,” says Chelliah, including hormonal shifts, mood changes, physical recovery, feeding demands, and the constant vigilance that comes with caring for a newborn.

Denis points to the sharp drop in estrogen and progesterone that occurs after childbirth, explaining that these hormonal shifts can trigger physical and cognitive symptoms many parents do not expect. Anxiety, whether preexisting or newly developed, can further disrupt focus and memory. That is why, even when uninterrupted sleep is not realistic, small adjustments that support better-quality rest can still make a meaningful difference.

What to consider:

• Prioritize quality over quantity. Even short stretches of more restorative rest can help ease cognitive symptoms. Small adjustments, such as keeping the room cool (around 65°F to 70°F) or using a sleep mask to block blue light, which studies show can disrupt circadian rhythm, may help fragmented sleep windows feel more effective.
• Reduce constant input. “Removing unnecessary alarms or noise can help limit mental fatigue,” says Chelliah. When your brain is already juggling a lot, turning off your phone and muting notifications can help conserve mental energy and reduce unnecessary mental noise.
• Create default routines. Same breakfast, same grocery order, same walk route. “Predictability and simplifying decisions reduces decision fatigue,” says Chelliah.

Regulate Your Nervous System in Small, Doable Ways

Postpartum depression can alter how the brain responds to stress. Chelliah explains that changes in neurotransmitters and the body’s stress-response system can make focus and memory harder to access. The takeaway is simple. Supporting your nervous system, even in small moments, can make a meaningful difference.

What to consider:

• Engage your senses. Denis recommends a splash of cold water, humming, or playing a favorite song to interrupt overwhelm.
• Try gentle movements that don’t require motivation. “Stroller walks while the baby naps can improve circulation, mood, and stress levels,” says Chelliah.
• Use deep breathing as a reset. It increases oxygen flow and activates the parasympathetic nervous system, supporting emotional regulation and calming the stress response.
• Step outside or change rooms briefly. Even a short shift in environment can help your brain reset enough to get through the next task.
• Transition gently between tasks. “Before starting something that requires focus, spend a few minutes reading or listening to a podcast to bring the cognitive regions of the brain online,” says Moorehead.

Let Clarity Return Unevenly

“There is no right timeline for when someone should start trying to rebuild cognitive clarity,” says Denis. During this phase, she notes, even small tasks can feel insurmountable. Rather than focusing on “getting your brain back,” the goal is gentle re-engagement. In that process, Moorehead encourages curiosity over pressure. “Exploring interests in small doses, without the expectation of big deadlines, can be incredibly supportive,” she says. That may also mean adjusting expectations around what kinds of stimulation feel realistic right now.

What to consider:

• Low-stakes cognitive stimulation. Audiobooks during feeds, familiar music, or simple puzzles can gently reawaken focus without adding pressure.
• One anchor per day. Avoid trying to tackle a full list and concentrate on just one task that gives the day shape.
• Track without judgment. “Journaling just one good thing, when you can, may help you notice progress over time,” says Denis.
• Expect progress to be non-linear. Days when the fog lifts and then returns do not mean you are regressing. They are part of recovery.
• Let joy count as a win. “If something brings relief or interest, it’s doing important work,” says Moorehead.

Know When It’s Time To Reach Out For More Support

Some brain fog is expected postpartum, but symptoms that linger or worsen deserve attention. Denis notes that the “baby blues” typically ease within about two weeks as hormones stabilize. If sleep improves but cognitive or depressive symptoms do not, that is an important signal to reach out.

Chelliah adds that brain fog lasting beyond two weeks, interfering with daily life, or paired with intense overwhelm or distressing thoughts is a strong reason to seek professional support. And you do not have to wait until things feel unmanageable. “If brain fog is lowering mood, impacting joy, or interfering with daily life, that is a great time to reach out,” says Moorehead.

Postpartum brain fog can feel scary and isolating, but it is also understandable, and it is something people recover from. With the right support, fewer demands, and patience for a brain that has been through a lot, clarity often does return.

Presented by BDG Studios

First off, we see you. You’re doing so much right now, and you’re taking a moment to check in with yourself. With a new baby comes new routines, new responsibilities, and constant change. It is a major transition for both your body and your brain. In those early weeks, feeling tearful, anxious, overwhelmed, or simply not like yourself is very common, and for many parents, those feelings ease as hormones stabilize and sleep slowly returns.

Sometimes, that heavy fog doesn’t lift right away. The sadness lingers. The worry grows louder. Or you feel oddly disconnected from things that once brought you joy. You might wonder how you can love your baby so deeply and still feel numb, overwhelmed, or constantly on edge. When those feelings persist and begin to affect everyday life, it isn’t a personal failing. It’s a sign that something deeper may need care and attention.

For many new parents, that “something” is postpartum depression (PPD), a condition far more common than it is openly discussed. Research estimates that PPD affects roughly 10–17% of new mothers worldwide. But according to Lorain Moorehead, LCSW, PMH-C, a licensed clinical social worker, the reality may be even more widespread. “About one in five mothers are diagnosed,” she explains, “and it is estimated that 30%–50% are not diagnosed.” That disconnect between lived experience and diagnosis highlights how quietly PPD can emerge, and how many parents are navigating it without ever putting a name to what they are feeling.

If any of this feels uncomfortably familiar, know you’re not alone. Ahead, we break down the postpartum depression signs experts say are worth paying attention to and why early support can make a real difference.

When Symptoms Show Up — And Why They Can Be Confusing To Read

Many people assume PPD happens immediately after birth, but the signs don’t always show up right away. “Symptoms can start four to eight weeks after childbirth and may not show up until 10 months post birth,” says Dr. Anushka Chelliah, MD, a board-certified maternal-fetal medicine specialist. “Clinically, PPD is defined as depression that begins within the first 12 months postpartum,” says Moorehead.

And even when the calendar moves past that mark, the body and family system don’t snap into place overnight. If symptoms begin in that first year, they can linger as hormones, identity, and the division of labor continue to shift as the baby grows older. “Even the hormonal changes that come with weaning or stopping breastfeeding can throw things off again,” adds Moorehead.

Complicating things further is the whirlwind of early postpartum itself. Most new parents experience the so-called “baby blues,” which can include tearfulness, anxiety, mood swings, or feeling overwhelmed in the first two weeks. Postpartum depression stands out by its duration and its impact on daily life. “Symptoms of postpartum depression tend to be more persistent and intrusive,” Chelliah explains.

Moorehead notes that some anxiety or intrusive thoughts can be normal in newborn care, but PPD becomes more likely “when it interferes with daily life, when the parent does not feel they are able to bond with their baby, when they don’t have feeling toward their baby, or the baby consumes all of their thoughts to the point of having limited joy.”

What PPD Can Actually Feel Like

Postpartum depression doesn’t look the same for everyone. It often shows up as a mix of emotional, mental, and physical symptoms that vary from person to person. Below are some of the ways it commonly appears:

1. You’re Past The Point of “Sad”

Sadness is absolutely a valid part of PPD, but it’s rarely the whole picture. Chelliah lists anxiety, tearfulness, guilt, hopelessness, panic, and feeling overwhelmed as common experiences. Moorehead notes that parents may also feel “emptiness, numbness, loss of interest or pleasure, feeling guilty or ‘less than,’ feeling like a bad mom, decreased frustration tolerance, and fatigue.”

2. You’re Struggling To Focus

It’s easy to chalk up new-parent forgetfulness or mental fog to sleepless nights, but cognition is an area where PPD can take hold. According to Chelliah, postpartum depression can manifest as “inability to concentrate or focus on activities, feeling overwhelmed, and poor decision making.” Many people describe getting stuck in cycles of rumination, spending hours worrying, or feeling mentally frozen in ways that make even simple tasks feel hard to start.

3. You’re Feeling Different In Your Own Skin

Moorehead notes that “weight gain, withdrawing from family and friends, and low energy” are often brushed off because they look a lot like the regular new-parent life. You’re in survival mode, your body is recalibrating, and no one expects you to be the life of the party at six weeks postpartum. However, if these changes seem uncharacteristic of you or persist long after the newborn fog lifts, they may need further attention.

4. You’re Not Connected To The Baby

While hormones play a role, Moorehead says routine and identity upheaval play a part in how PPD affects bonding: “Feeling a strong ambivalence about loving the baby but missing the activities and life and body that existed before the baby can be very discouraging.” Chelliah adds that anxiety and sadness can “interfere with bonding and socialization,” even when love and care are present.

When To Reach Out (And Why It’s Not A Personal Failing)

Postpartum depression can affect anyone, though certain factors can increase the likelihood of developing it. These include a personal history of depression or anxiety, depression during pregnancy, thyroid disorders, high levels of stress after birth, neonatal complications, or limited social support. None of these risk factors reflect a parent’s competence or desire to care for their child. They are medical and environmental realities, not personal shortcomings. “With the right treatment and support, the majority of women move through this,” says Chelliah.

If you’re unsure whether what you’re feeling is “bad enough” to count as PPD, clinicians suggest paying attention to persistence and impact. Chelliah notes that if symptoms “persist after two weeks or become intrusive in the ability to complete activities of daily living or are involved with thoughts of hurting yourself or others, you need to seek medical attention.”

Even without a diagnosis, Moorehead stresses that support is justified: “It doesn’t matter if you have clinical PPD or simply feel like you’re ready to have support. You deserve to have support.”

What holds true for nearly every parent experiencing postpartum depression is this: it is common, it is treatable, and you are far from alone in navigating it.

Presented by BDG Studios

I have one gift hack, and it’s always worked well for me: When you can’t figure out what to give someone, go retro. A gift from their childhood, an item they say they always wanted but never got, a gift that gives them that warm vintage holiday vibe — you can honestly find a million things. Romper’s A La Cart this year is all about nostalgic gifts. Gifts that remind you of your childhood Christmas, gifts that you’re excited to give someone you love, gifts that just give you that warm happy feeling — and gifts that aren’t already on 8,000 other gift guides.

No matter what you’re looking for, from toys for kids to bikes and board games, this nostalgia gift list has you covered. Many of these would make a great family gift or a gift to give siblings to share, and if you’ve ever wondered what on earth to get your husband or dad (they do not want whiskey stones, I asked them), this list can offer some inspiration. Take a step back to the ‘80s and ‘90s Christmases, when you circled what you wanted in a Sears Wish Book and not one parent asked you to pose for a photo for Instagram. (They just set up the camcorder for the entire present-opening portion instead.)

A Handheld Blast From The Past

ModRetro Chromatic + Tetris Bundle

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Nothing filled me with joy more as a kid than my Game Boy, and ModRetro has created the ultimate blast-from-the-past gift with the Chromatic. Compatible with all Game Boy and Game Boy Color cartridges, Chromatic is pure dopamine in handheld game form. It charges either with a USB cord or batteries (bless) and the Chromatic also comes with some original Chromatic games, along with old favorites like Tetris. It’s honestly just such a great gift and perfect for the person who wants to spend less time on their phone.

A Competitive Guessing Game For Pokémon-Loving Families

Pokémon Trainer Expert Electronic Guessing Board Game

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If you grew up loving Pokémon and your kid is into them now, this Pokémon Trainer board game is such a fun one to play together. There are two modes of difficulty on the board so it can grow with you as you begin to learn the clues. The game master will call out clues, and the person who guesses which Pokémon it’s hinting at first scores the points.

The LEGO Set That Never Says Die

The Goonies LEGO Set

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Hey, you guys! LEGO never misses, and The Goonies LEGO set is such a great gift for any Goonies fan. The detail is absolutely incredible, with over 2,900 pieces and 12 minifigures. It’s intended for LEGO fans aged 18 and up, but it could also be an amazing family project to work on.

A Wi-Fi Landline To Connect The Old Fashioned Way

Tin Can

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My mom friends and I all want to get our kids these Tin Can phones so they can call each other and their grandparents without screens, just like in ye olden days. Can’t you feel the curly phone cord twirling around your index finger right now? Plus, they’re so cute and colorful, this is a “toy” I’d actually love to see around my house. Tin Can users can call each other for free, or it’s $9.99 a month to call other kinds of phones (but they can only dial contacts you’ve pre-approved — yay safety).

A Board Game Version Of Every Millennial’s Favorite Computer Game

The Sims Board Game

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There are few things more delightful than The Sims, so why not gift (with actual dollars, not Simoleons) your favorite Sims fan The Sims board game? For players ages 12 and up, you can jump right into the neighborhood and create a whole journey, with aspirations, iconic Sims characters, and more. This is perfect for a nostalgic family game night, and the artwork on the game itself will make you feel like a 15-year-old staying up late on the computer again.

A Modern Take On Twister

Twangled Game

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If you want screen-free, whole-family fun, Twangled looks like the way to go. Everyone’s hands will be occupied by giant rubber bands, and you kick the spinner with your foot to progressively tie yourself into a massive knot. Then, you’ll have to work together to untangle your human bowtie.

A Surprisingly Fun Sticker Maker

Educational Insights Shaker Sticker Maker

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My 4-year-old, my nieces (who are 5, 6, and 12), and I have all enjoyed playing with this sticker maker. You get to choose the size, cute animal backing, and confetti filler. It’s a great option for families with kids in a wide range of ages. The mechanics of sticker making are just complex enough to require their full attention, but easy enough to get the hang of in one or two tries. I love that it’s totally analog and requires zero batteries.

An American Girl With An Extremely Nostalgic Twist

American Girl Raquel Reyes — Girl of the Year 2026

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Gifting someone you love an American Girl doll is nostalgic enough, but if you gift the Girl of the Year 2026 Raquel Reyes? Well, you’re promising an added bonus of nostalgia. Raquel’s great-great-grandmother is none other than Samantha Parkington. Even Raquel’s dress is reminiscent of Samantha Parkington’s original look, and Raquel’s story includes a sweet dive into her family tree, giving you all the vintage vibes.

The World’s Coolest Watch

Casio G-SHOCK "Cool Eyes" Cool Watch

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You remember G-SHOCK watches? Well they’re back, and cooler than ever. With a retro analog watchface and fun bright colors, the G-SHOCK “Cool Eyes” Cool Watch is going to make you feel like you stepped right back in time. Built for sports and outdoor activities, this is a great gift for the live-fast-and-hard person in your life.

A Stretch Armstrong Version Of Your Favorite Alien

Stitch Stretch Armstrong

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Thanks to the live-action Lilo & Stitch movie, Stitch is totally back this holiday season. But you can give him even more of a nostalgic air by gifting the Stretch Armstrong version of Stitch. I vividly remember my little brother receiving his Stretch Armstrong on a perfect ‘90s Christmas morning, and knowing I can give my own nephew one of these — and we can pull it down the hall to see how far it actually goes before one of us gets smacked in the face — is kind of the best.

A Hair Styling Set For The Ultimate ~Kewl~ Girl

Make it Real: Snap 'N Glam Hair Styling Set

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Every cool girl I knew in the ‘90s had one of those twisty hair things that added jewels and gems and put their hair into perfect little twists, and now you can have some of that nostalgia back with the Make It Real: Snap ‘N Glam Hair Styling Set. With 100 different bead clips, from butterflies and gems to flowers, kids can mix and match and easily add them to their own hair.

A Boxed Set For Your Favorite Bow Girl

The Puffin In Bloom Book Collection

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Pretty books are always a win, but the Rifle Paper Co. In Bloom book collection is the perfect nostalgic gift for the Big Bow Girls in your life. Featuring Heidi, A Little Princess, Little Women, and Anne of Green Gables, each features a gorgeous cover and design that will make you want to crawl into a cozy cottage and relive your bookworm childhood.

A Revived Mini Skateboard For Sk8r Bois & Girls

Tech Deck Shred N' Blast Sk8board

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My little brother had millions of those tiny Tech Deck skateboards in the ‘90s, and I love the brand’s revived version with the Tech Deck Shred N’ Blast Skateboard. For sk8rs ages 6 and up, this toy can send your skateboard into tricks up to six feet high, and the ramp itself can be mixed into other Tech Deck accessories and playsets.

The ‘80s Night-Night Buddy

Pillow People: Window Rattler Plush

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The way my entire body responded to seeing that Pillow Pals are back — I’ll never have the words to fully explain. Pillow Pals were huge in the ‘80s and featured several different varieties, but I was always partial to Window Rattler, the plush both my sister and I (and D.J. Tanner on Full House) snuggled with.

A Build-Your-Own-Dollhouse For Miniature Lovers

Suite Spaces: Living Room Pack

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The minute I saw these Suite Spaces collections, I thought about the old American Girl Mini Rooms, where you could buy all the pieces to create your own little space. The Suite Spaces collection is a lot like that, featuring living room packs, bedroom packs, bathroom packs, and more. Each pack comes with everything you need to create your own little miniature room of your dreams, and then all of them can stack together to make your very own dollhouse.

A Baby Doll That Will Last Forever

BABY Born Princess Baby Doll

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I still have my BABY Born doll from when I was a kid, and oh how I fell in love with her the Christmas I opened her under the tree. I remember mixing the little packets of food — all that gritty orange stuff — to feed her and feeling like I had hit the lottery. Give back some of that joy with the new BABY Born Princess Collection. While this little one doesn’t eat any food, she does come with a bottle and the perfect princess outfit. Her eyes close when you lay her down, and it really feels like a callback to simple baby dolls and how much we all loved them. (Also, it’s BABY Born, so it’ll last forever.)

An ‘80s Movie Wrapped Up In An ‘80s Toy

Polly Pocket 'Back to the Future' Compact

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Great Scott! Back to the Future is a classic for a reason — it’s one of the best movies ever made — and is now forever immortalized in another classic, retro brand: Polly Pocket. These two fandoms combining is beyond good, and whether the Back to the Future fan in your life played with Polly Pockets or not, this is an ultimate nostalgia gift.

A Throw-Back Video Game

Mortal Kombat Legacy Kollection

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This is literally the only thing my 40-year-old husband (who never knows what he wants for a gift) has asked for this Christmas, so you know Mortal Kombat Legacy Kollection is going to be a smash hit. Not only does this edition include the arcade versions of Mortal Kombat, but it also includes the Sega and Super NES system versions, along with some rare Game Boy editions and more. It’s so fun for anyone who grew up getting video games under the tree, and it’s going to be a major walk down memory lane on Christmas morning.

The Perfect Pair Of Retro Nikes

Stranger Things x Nike Dunk Low 'Phantom'

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Vintage sneakers have been a thing for a while, but the new Stranger Things x Nike collection takes it to an entirely new level with the new Nike Dunk Low ‘Phantom’ pair. These look exactly like the ones worn in Stranger Things, down to the “dirty” and used vibe, and are a must for any retro sneakerheads or fans of the ‘80s.

An Iconic Board Game For The Whole Family

Don't Wake Daddy Board Game

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I can still vividly remember the commercial for the Don’t Wake Daddy board game, and I’m thrilled the game is still around. While Dad has had a bit of an upgrade — I do miss his sleeping cap — this is a great gift for the game enthusiasts in your family, or even to gift a sibling who remembers playing it with you.

A Toddler-Friendly American Girl Doll

My First Addy Doll & Board Book

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Truly, there was nothing like circling every American Girl item in the catalogue for your Christmas wish list, but now the brand is even making it so your littlest American Girls can fall in love with both the dolls and their sweet stories. The My First Addy Doll & Board Book set features Addy Walker, the historical American Girl who grew up in 1864 Philadelphia, as a plush and cuddly doll with her own board book version of her Meet Addy story. It’s a must if you have a little one in your life who needs to be introduced to American Girl, or if you know someone who would just appreciate a little squeeze from a soft friend.

An Updated Version Of Your Favorite Brain Teaser

Rubik's Pulse Cube

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Everybody had a Rubik’s Cube at some point, right? Whether you ever figured it out or not doesn’t matter, but the updated Rubik’s Pulse Cube is a fun, updated version of everyone’s favorite brain teaser. This one lights up, pulsing to a timer so that you can try and solve the puzzle before the lights go out. It’s super fun and a great gift for anybody who has ever given a little twist on a Rubik’s Cube.

The Ultimate ‘80s Rockstar Fashion Doll

Jem & The Holograms Fashion Doll

Walmart -

I know, you can hear the theme song already. So many grew up with Jem and the Holograms on TV, so why not bring back some of that joy and nostalgia with the Jem and the Holograms fashion doll? Whether you’re going to keep it for your own personal shelf collection or want it to play with your kids, this is such a fun gift.

The Most Retro Feel-Good Bicycle

Beaumont City Bike

Retrospec -

There was nothing better than seeing a bicycle under the Christmas tree, and I am forever looking for that magical high. Retrospec has a ton of fun things that give similar vibes, but nothing hits it quite as well as the Beaumont City Bike. No e-bike stuff here, just a classic, 7-speed bicycle that’s built to last. With the rear rack, you can even have some storage for taking along whatever you need on the ride.

A Relatable Trivia Game For The Holidays

Brass Monkey Poorly Explained Movies — Holiday Edition

Amazon -

I love playing trivia with family and friends, but so many trivia options feel a little too heavy. Brass Monkey’s Poorly Explained Movies - Holiday Edition is so ridiculously fun. It’s just a great guessing game, but the clues are things like “an orphan sings to a woman taking a shower,” and the answer is Elf. So fun to play in a group, and so fun to realize everybody else thinks about movies just like you do.

The Best Playset For Those Who Had Their Own Entrance Music

Mattel WWE Money in the Bank Cash-in Ring Playset

Amazon -

I grew up with professional wrestling, so every new WWE playset makes me want to jump right back into watching some pay-per-view and falling for all those character storylines. The Mattel WWE Money in the Bank playset comes with everything needed to reenact some iconic WWE moments. (It would also look great just displayed on a shelf.)

The Perfect Retro Doll

Rainbow Brite 12" Plush Doll

Walmart -

There have been a lot of Rainbow Brite variations and merch over the years, but I’m so obsessed with this classic, incredibly retro Rainbow Brite 12” plush doll. Created just like the doll from the ‘80s, the body is plush with a vinyl head and yellow yarn hair. It has no frills or fuss — just like the perfect Rainbow Brite doll.

There’s a good chance that if you’re a mom to young kids, you know who Jenni “JWoww” Farley is. Since her days fist-pumping on screen, the reality TV OG — now a mom of two — has traded club nights for bedtime stories. But her signature unapologetic confidence and trademark bling swagger are still front and center.

So, it only makes sense that she’s bringing that same energy to your closet with the launch of her SHEIN x JWoww Family Collection. With looks that are chic, practical, and made for all the moms who still love to serve, consider your fall fashion leveled up.

If this collab is saying one thing, it’s this: you can still be “that girl” even with a couple of tiny humans running around. From coordinating lounge knits to sleek coats, this collection is full of classic statement pieces that refuse to blend into the corn maze. And the looks aren’t just for mom. The collection boasts an array of tween boy and girl styles that will make the whole family look effortlessly pulled together.

So, grab your littles, bundle up, and check out this round-up of a few of our favorite pieces, from this ribbed long sleeve sweater for effortless layering to the faux leather skirt that adds instant edge — and even a few trendy pieces your kids are sure to wear on repeat.

Women’s Solid Color Mermaid Hem Fitted Knit Dress

Shein -

Women’s Brown Double-Breasted Wool Coat

Shein -

Women’s Barrel-Leg Jeans

Shein -

Women’s Ribbed Long Sleeve Sweater

Shein -

Women's High-Waist Pearl Embellished Wide-Leg Jeans

Shein -

Women's Fitted Knit Dress

Shein -

Women’s PU Leather A-Line Skirt

Shein -

Women’s Minimalist Wool-Blend Sweater and Knit Pants Set

Shein -

Women's Straight-Leg Fringe Trim Jeans

Shein -

Women's Ribbed Contrast Seam Lounge Set

Shein -

Women's Gingham Button-Front Pajama Set

Shein -

Tween Boy Distressed Denim Set

Shein -

Tween Boy Cotton Padded Baseball Jacket

Shein -

Tween Girl Polo Sweatshirt

Shein -

Tween Girl Asymmetric Flared Pants Set

Shein -

Tween Girl Cable-Knit Sweater Dress

Shein -

Tween Girl Star Hollow-Knit Sweater

Shein -

Tween Girl 2-in-1 Shirt Top

Shein -

Our kids’ school winter vacation schedule is a little wonky; they have a few long weekends off, but then we don’t get a real break till March. It’s not quite enough to go somewhere far away, but when you’re trapped inside with two active boys, those three-day weekends at home feel long. A few years ago, I went on a hunt to find a way to break up that interminable winter slog, to silence the ever-present voices of my sons: “Mom, there’s nothing to do!” (I know there’s nothing to do! It’s freezing out, most team sports are on pause, and by Sunday afternoons the siren call of the iPad becomes deafening to the point of no return.)

I researched. I asked around. Eventually, a friend recommended Mohonk Mountain House, a historic resort that’s about a two-hour drive from New York City. We decided to give it a go. We haven’t looked back.

The place has a kind of old school Catskills-vibe, like if Dirty Dancing met a haunted gothic novel. You can leave after school on a Friday and, after driving up an ear-popping mountain pass, arrive at the enormous, Victorian castle-esque building in time for dinner. The place was founded in 1869, and the aesthetic leans into that history (wood everything, old photographs of Mohonk lining the walls; traditional décor). It’s kind of like The Shining if The Shining was cozy instead of creepy, and the kids, in particular, think it’s very cool.

Mohonk is an all-inclusive resort, so the room rate covers food (but not alcohol). There are set times for breakfast, lunch, and dinner, and the main dining room has lovely views of the mountain and surrounding area. The food is…plentiful. It comes quickly. Breakfast and lunch include buffets the size of a small country. You won’t go hungry at Mohonk Mountain House, that I promise. I’ve never been on a cruise, but I assume that it’s kind of like high-end cruise fare, which isn’t an insult. This is a place that’s best for families. In and out, I say! Let’s get it done with before the kids start asking to play games on our phones.

Most critically, there is a lot to do during the day. There is a heated indoor pool, which my kids love to swim in, and a soothing spa, where you can get facials and massages. There is snow tubing, which my sons enjoy almost as much as I do. There’s a private ice-skating rink with skate rentals included. You can hike up the mountain with spikes, or do cross country skiing, or snowshoeing as a family. The grounds are picturesque and winter wonderland-y and every afternoon there’s an open fire pit where you can roast a marshmallow (or five, if you’re my 7-year-old). There are evening activities, like movies and music and magicians. Last year, we tried indoor archery for the first time. I hit a bullseye. There is no more to that story. I just wanted to share. And the service is family oriented and helpful. A couple of years ago, my younger son got a horrible stomach virus the night we arrived at Mohonk. He was so sick that we ended up calling the in-house doctor at the hotel, who came right away and said we should go to the nearby hospital to be safe. So my husband sped our car down the dark mountain road while I held my little retching son in the front seat, our other son strapped into the back. Everything was fine, eventually — the hospital was great, our son got fluids, and we stayed until he finally stopped vomiting his brains out. We got back to Mohonk at 3am, exhausted and stressed, and saw that management had put lovely baskets in our room filled with get-better stuffed animals, fresh fruit and snacks, and an array of games for the kids. They continually checked in on us until we left the following day, and all things considered, we had an okay time! Oh, the wonders of traveling with children.

The best part about Mohonk, hands down, is that every time we go there it snows. There’s like some magical timer that knows we’ve arrived, and waking up to the mountain blanketed in white is such a treat for the kids. I can’t guarantee that it’ll happen for you, but if you’d like to coordinate dates with me, just let me know! It never fails.I feel lucky that our family found this place. It’s so good for kids. We usually arrive in a kind of winter funk and leave with a rosy glow, just enough to get me through until spring. Unsurprisingly, Mohonk has a kind of cult following—families return year after year, and we’ve now gone enough times to recognize people, giving them friendly nods on the trails or the ice rink or while going back for a third piece of cake at the buffet. Winter is coming, which as a mom feels daunting, but at least I have Mohonk to look forward to. Another bullseye is in my future.

Emma Rosenblum is the national bestselling author of Bad Summer People, Very Bad Company, and the upcoming Mean Moms (July, 2025). She's the former chief content officer at Bustle Digital Group, overseeing content and strategy for BDG’s editorial portfolios. Prior to BDG, Emma served as the executive editor of ELLE. Previously Rosenblum was a senior editor at Bloomberg Businessweek, and before that a senior editor at Glamour. She began her career at New York magazine. She lives in New York City, with her husband and two sons.

As much as I love the idea of a vacation with my family, it’s no secret that traveling with kids — even to a beachside destination — isn’t always as relaxing as the adults involved would like it to be. Many of my memories from tropical getaways past involve trying not to annoy the childless people at the pool with my splashing toddlers, or my husband and I struggling to watch a show without waking our kids, each using one ear bud and whispering as music wafted in from a party all the cool people were enjoying.

Well, my fellow parents: I’m thrilled to report that there’s actually a better way to vacay. Beaches Resorts has leveled up the game for parents and kids alike with lush, all-inclusive resorts on the most beautiful stretches of the Caribbean. At Beaches Negril and Beaches Turks & Caicos — plus Beaches Turks & Caicos’ all-new Treasure Beach village — everything from childcare to food to entertainment is fully covered, so you can focus on savoring each minute of your trip. With fun-filled activities designed for kids from tots to teens, grown-ups get to actually enjoy their own stays, too! And did I mention family suites with separate bedrooms and bathrooms? Now that’s what I call island paradise.

Here are just a few of the thoughtful features and one-of-a-kind details that make Beaches Resorts the perfect spot for an unforgettable family adventure.

1. Next-Level Care For Kids

The all-inclusive Kids Camp, which runs from 8 am to 9 pm (yup, you heard me) has non-stop activities tailored for five different age groups, from babies to teenagers. Beaches Resorts’ exclusive partnership with Sesame Street means that kiddos can take part in parades, see stage shows, and make unforgettable one-on-one memories with their favorite characters.

Your crew can expect dedicated game rooms and lounges for teens, waters ports like snorkeling, kayaking, and a special kids’ scuba diving program with certified instructors, private nannies available on call, and, oh yes, the all-inclusive Pirate’s Island waterparks at Beaches Turks & Caicos. Expect: kid-friendly pools, water slides, a lazy river, and a swim-up soda bar.

Beaches Resorts is also the first resort company in the world to be certified as autism-friendly. That means specialized service and custom dining and activity options so everyone can participate and make memories together.

2. 24/7 Pampering For Parents

As a local, family-owned business, Beaches Resorts takes incredible care to anticipate everyone’s needs, especially overworked caregivers in need of a little R&R. That means special perks for parents like luxury spa services, adults-only dinners, and local tours to indulge in while the kids have the time of their lives at camp.

There’s also private personal training if you feel like lifting a finger, and personal butler service if you don’t. Because not needing to get up from your cabana chair to run a decadent bubble bath is a vacation goal if I’ve ever heard one.

3. Thoughtful Touches For Every Guest

Beaches Resorts has enough food and drink options to tantalize everyone’s taste buds. With 20 restaurants, 3 food trucks, and 17 bars at Beaches Turks & Caicos, plus 13 options ranging from casual seaside snack shacks to fine sit-down dining at Beaches Negril, the culinary variety and creativity is unmatched. Picky eater? Don’t know her.

Getting to your island home away from home can add up — especially when you’re toting small passengers. The Tiny Traveler’s First Passport offer gives families a $135 resort credit per child traveling with a passport for the first time, essentially reimbursing the application fee so you can spend it on memory-making activities like a family photo shoot or private dining experience.

4. Suite Surprises

If you’ve ever had to share a king-sized bed with multiple children, Beaches Resorts’ family suites are about to be your wildest dream come true. Choose from spacious accommodations designed with bigger groups in mind, with separate bedrooms featuring bunk beds, or private villas available for larger family stays complete with your very own pool and a dedicated butler service committed to making sure all your families’ needs are met (think: reservations, room service, and more).

5. Holiday Magic

As if Beaches Resorts didn’t roll out enough red carpet for families already, it also happens to be the official Caribbean vacation for Elf on the Shelf, which means guests who book stays during the holiday season this year (and next year if you like to plan ahead!) can enjoy island-style celebrations with an extra sprinkle of festive fun. Think special soirees, holiday movie nights under the stars, turndown service for humans and elves alike, and a one-of-a kind Elf on the Shelf suite.

So if you’re looking for an idyllic, all-inclusive getaway at a place where guests are treated like family and kids are not only welcomed but celebrated, let Beaches Resorts make it easy. Your toughest choice? Which resort to explore first.

Picking the right holiday gifts for the kiddos on your list is a guessing game. Which ones are still into stuffed animals? Who only wants “big kid” stuff now in spite of their single-digit age? Even the most plugged-in grown-up can use a little guidance — whether you’re buying for your own kids, your nieces and nephews, or the little ones who call you Auntie even though you’re technically just mom’s bestie. Luckily, The Toy Insider just released their 2025 Holiday Gift Guide and it’s got all the recommendations you’re looking for.

The Toy Insider team tests the buzziest toys all year, and only the best ones make the cut. That means their Holiday Gift Guide is packed with toys that spark imagination, encourage creativity, and deliver the kind of instant joy that’ll make you the favorite adult of any tiny human. They’ve got interactive pets, snuggly plushies, epic play sets, and rideable dream machines will light up faces like a string of twinkle lights.

So, before you head to the nearest megastore to panic-shop, peep some of the highlights from The Toy Insider 2025 Holiday Gift Guide. It’ll make shopping so easy that wrapping will feel like a fun craft project instead of a chore.

1. Disney Princess 24V Princess Carriage

Get your little royal rolling around around in fairytale style with this motorized princess carriage. It runs for up to 45 minutes on one charge and can hit speeds up to 4.5 mph. “Dream come true” vibes!

Disney Princess 24V Princess Carriage

Dynacraft Wheels -

2. Bluey Mini Music Player

Invite everyone’s favorite four-legged friends to the dance party! This mini music player has four built-in tracks and a light-up Bluey graphic that flashes to the beat of the music. It also features “musical statues,” a game in which kids dance when the music plays, and turn into a statues when it stops.

Bluey Mini Music Player

Ekids -

3. Nano-Mals Interactive Pets

Discover a world of fashionable, pocket-sized pets with Nano-Mals. These interactive pets feature an electric heart meter that communicates their needs to their young caregivers. The more the pets are played with and cared for, the more interactions they unlock. It’s equal parts empathy training and style statement.

Nano-Mals Interactive Pets

Hasbro -

4. Squishpillow Firm Bed Pillow

Add a touch of fun (and maximum comfort) to any kid’s sleep space with these Squishmallow-inspired bed pillows. With six different Squishmallows patterns to choose from, this pillow and pillowcase line brings all of the snoozy snuggles.

Squishpillow Firm Bed Pillow

Jazwares -

5. Disney Ultimate Stitch Interactive Feature Plush

Meet your little one’s new favorite sidekick. Inspired by the live-action film, this Stitch plush has more than 100 sounds and movements. Kids can press Stitch’s belly, hands, tongue, and nose, then watch as he sings, dances, speaks, and more.

Disney Ultimate Stitch Interactive Feature Plush

Just Play -

6. LEGO Duplo Interactive Adventure Train

Playtime stays on track with this buildable train set featuring lights, sounds, and customization options. Toddlers can drive the train, and parents can find new ways to build with the LEGO Duplo Interactive Trains app. All aboard!

Lego Duplo Interactive Adventure Train

The Lego Group -

7. Hot Wheels City Ultimate Dual Dragon Transporter

Turn every floor into a high-octane speedway. This dual dragon hauler transforms into a two-lane racetrack and includes two dragons that eat, launch, and race Hot Wheels cars. Each one also comes with a 1:64-scale vehicle, plus stores more than 20 cars.

Hot Wheels City Ultimate Dual Dragon Transporter

Mattel -

8. Melissa & Doug Sort Stock, And Select Beauty Kiosk Play Set

For the little beauty content creator in training. This vending machine play set dispenses wooden beauty products for kids to organize and shelve. Using matching and recognition skills, kids can sort the beauty products by color in the machine and dispense them with buttons and matching coins. It includes 24 pieces, from wooden cosmetics to a reusable activity card.

Melissa & Doug Sort, Stock, And Select Beauty Kiosk Play Set

Melissa & Doug -

9. Bratz Stylin’ Dolls

Your childhood fashion icons are back and bolder than ever. These articulated fashion dolls feature bold new outfits, matching jewelry, and long, brushable hair. Each comes with an oversized kids’ T-shirt, featuring the same graphic design as the doll’s top.

Bratz Stylin' Dolls

MGA Entertainment -

10. Bluey Supermarket Play Set

This play set has everything: three stories, four play areas, special sounds from the show, 15 play pieces, and exclusive Bluey and Bingo figures. Your kid can restock shelves, beep through checkout, and recreate their favorite episodes! Big Bluey energy, one adorable play set.

Bluey Supermarket Playset

Moose Toys -

11. Sonic The Hedgehog - Sonic Racing Crossworlds R/C Monster Truck

No one knows speed like everyone’s favorite g-force groundling! This remote control car takes fun to the next level with working lights, all-terrain tires, and an epic flame paint job. Whether zooming around the backyard or doing donuts in the den, this monster truck rides fast, smooth, and interference-free.

Sonic The Hedgehog - Sonic Racing Crossworlds R/C Monster Truck

NKOK -

12. Paw Patrol Fire Rescue Rapid Reload Fire Truck

No job too big, no pup too small! Marshall’s firetruck comes with a built-in projectile launcher for rapid-fire water spurts. Kids can drop down the ladder to quickly reload the launcher, and the rear door opens to release a mini vehicle.

Paw Patrol Fire Rescue Rapid Reload Fire Truck

Spin Master -

13. Winx Club Fairy Fashion Doll

Magic, friendship, and fashion take flight with this set of Winx Club Fairy Fashion Dolls inspired by the new TV series. The pack features six 10.5-inch dolls: Bloom, Stella, Tecna, Aisha, Flora, and Musa. Perfect for fans old and new, these fairies are ready to inspire imaginative play and magical storytelling.

Winx Club Fairy Fashion Doll

Playmates Toys -

14. Marshmallow Madness

Game night just got sweeter… and a bit stickier. This game challenges players to pick up and eat marshmallows using a pair of tiny hands. The player who eats the most marshmallows during their turn wins the game.

Marshmallow Madness

Playmonster -

15. Booksy: The Disney Edition 1-Pack Window Box

Bring story time to life with Booksy: The Disney Edition. Each Booksy figurine holds a tiny 40-page mini storybook for young readers to discover. Kids can collect or choose from Disney’s Stitch, Moana, Elsa, and Simba.

Booksy: The Disney Edition 1 Pack Window Box

PMI Kids' World -

16. Ms. Rachel Spin Along Learning Wheel

Learning gets a playful and positive twist with the familiar voice of Ms. Rachel. Toddlers can turn the wheel to practice mouth movements and color recognition, discover animals and their sounds, and more. The toy features three play modes and interactive prompts guided by their favorite overall-clad buddy.

Ms. Rachel Spin Along Learning Wheel

Spin Master -

17. Blast And Roar Toothless Mask

Get fired up for the live-action How to Train Your Dragon with this interactive mask! Kids can become the fearsome Night Fury with plasma blast lights, sounds, and even a water mister. Perfect for some playful surprises.

Blast And Roar Toothless Mask

Spinmaster -

18. Pokémon Trading Card Game: Mega Evolution Elite Trainer Box

Whether your kid is a serious player or just starting their collection, this box delivers hours of excitement. Mega Evolution Pokémon like Mega Lucario ex and Mega Gardevoir ex return in this Trainer Box. Players and collectors can expand their sets with powerful Pokémon, new artwork, and more.

Pokémon Trading Card Game: Mega Evolution Elite Trainer Box

The Pokémon Co. -

19. Pets Alive Polly The Magic Bird

Complete your magical menagerie with Polly the Magic Bird! At the tap of a wand, this interactive bird flutters to life, singing, moving, and even repeating what you say. The set includes Polly in her curtained birdcage, a hatching baby bird, a magic wand, and a guidebook containing lots of enchanting magic tricks.

Pets Alive Polly The Magic Bird

Zuru -

20. Chompsaw

This kid-safe power tool makes cutting cardboard easy. Kids can use it to transform cardboard scraps into forts, DIY costumes, educational dioramas, and other creative projects. It gives them hands-on control over their projects and the satisfaction of saying, “I made that,” no grown-up tools required.

Chompsaw

Chompshop -

For more hot toys for kids of all ages, check out The Toy Insider's 2025 Holiday Gift Guide and follow @thetoyinsider on social media!

Leading up to the birth of my first child, I remember having two main things on my mind: the fear of childbirth and dreading sleepless nights. And, let’s be clear — those were both valid concerns. However, along with the feedings and diaper changes to interrupt my sleep, I also found myself lying awake with another sense of dread: realizing just how much money you end up paying for a newborn baby.

A recent BabyCenter survey found that parents can expect to spend $20,384 on baby-related costs in the first year of their kid's life (which, in “no, duh” news, also contributed to 89% of moms saying finances impacted their mental health). It’s a stress I was reminded of all over again as we welcomed our second kid this year.

The cost of bringing a newborn into the world goes far beyond baby gear. You’re looking at things like insurance, hospital bills, college savings, and more. According to the experts, these are the major financial things to plan for when you have a newborn.

Budget for essentials: hospital bills, health insurance, and basic needs

Budgeting for the essentials is key when it comes to not going into sticker shock when your newborn arrives. According to Michelle Paiva of The Finance Therapist, some of the basics worth saving for are "health insurance costs, hospital bills, and a little cushion for unexpected doctor visits." You'll have 30 to 60 days after your child's birth to register them for health insurance during a Special Enrollment Period (because you didn't have enough going on, right?).

From there, diapers, clothing, cribs, car seats, and feeding supplies will make up the core of your first major purchases. "If you can, start a small savings account for your baby’s future — it doesn’t matter if it’s $10 at a time; the habit itself builds confidence."

Paiva recommends saving up for three to six months of basic expenses as a goal. However, if that seems high, something is always better than nothing. "Even $1,000 tucked away can give you breathing room,” she says. “What matters most is not a magic number — it’s having a plan and knowing you can adjust as you go."

All the insurance

Life insurance for yourself and your partner can help protect your family, putting financial resources in place if (knock on wood) anything were to happen to either of you.

Disability insurance is another consideration, as it provides financial support if one or both parents are unable to work due to a severe illness or injury. Depending on your plan, this can help cover essentials like mortgage, childcare, and household expenses for a certain period of time.

Legal stuff: savings account, a trust, updated will

Sophoan Prak, a certified financial planner at Vanguard, shared the importance of estate planning and guardianship when welcoming a newborn to your family.

“Estate planning entails the creation of legal documents to specify your wishes for your assets in the event of your passing or inability to make decisions for yourself,” Prak shares. “It can involve setting up a trust, selecting beneficiaries for retirement accounts and life insurance policies, and how you transfer ownership of your assets. For underage children, it’s crucial to designate a guardian who can raise your child if you’re unable.”

Childcare costs

"Childcare is often the biggest shock, sometimes costing as much as a mortgage,” Paiva explains. I know for my family, having two working parents required finding childcare options early — and I’m likely not the first person to stress how expensive it can be. The cost of our daycare for two kids is not far off from the majority of my salary, something my husband and I had to account for and plan for when deciding whether I should stay at home or not.

College savings

While not all kids may choose to pursue college after high school graduation, it’s never a bad idea to have money set aside for if they do.

"Start investing in your child’s future goals now,” Prak advises. “While school might feel far off, it will be here before you know it. Opening a 529 savings plan, which is a tax-advantaged savings account, can be a great way to get a head start on saving for your child’s education. These accounts offer tax benefits, high contribution limits, easy gifting options, and flexibility — in fact, you can utilize a 529 for K-12 expenses, trade school tuition, college expenses, including room and board, and even for studying abroad.”

Unexpected costs

According to Prak, more than half of parents report spending $1,000 or more annually on unexpected costs. In my personal experience, that number has probably been even higher. From unexpected hospital visits to supplies we didn’t know we needed (who knew an infant could be so picky with a bottle type?), we spent a lot more in our first year than we had planned to.

“Consider saving a minimum of $2,000 or at least half a month of expenses for spending shocks, and 3-6 months’ worth of expenses — if you can swing saving a larger sum — in case of income loss,” Prak recommends.

The hidden cost of convenience

Along with unexpected costs, there’s what Paiva calls the “hidden cost of convenience.”

As for what this is, it includes “...ordering meals or paying for help when you are exhausted,” Paiva explains. “These are not failures; they are part of adapting to life with a newborn. Don't forget that meal planning, accepting dinner from friends and family, and budgeting are all ways to cut food costs.”

If you’re ever trying to get to the bottom of something, enlist the help of a preschooler. After all, they’ve mastered the art of asking questions — mainly the one-worded (and sometimes dreaded) “Why?” — and their curiosity has no limits. In the right preschool environment, that endless curiosity isn’t just indulged, it’s celebrated and channeled into confidence, problem-solving, and a love of learning that stretches far beyond ABCs and 123s.

And according to Dr. Lauren Loquasto, senior vice president and chief academic officer at The Goddard School, those skills don’t just happen overnight. “Knowing how to manage emotions, communicate effectively, collaborate, and persevere during frustration are all critical life skills that need to be fostered,” Dr. Loquasto says.

That’s why it’s fundamentally important to provide your child with a preschool curriculum that allows them to discover these key character traits. Ahead, Dr. Loquasto dives deeper into how preschool helps instill these essential life skills in children.

They Design Their Curriculum With Your Child In Mind

It’s essential to look for a preschool that goes beyond the usual preset themes of farm animals, the five senses, or favorite foods. That’s where The Goddard School’s Wonder of Learning program comes in. “It’s an inquiry-based educational program, which means it is built from the questions children ask and their natural curiosity,” Dr. Loquasto says. The program enables children to explore a big question and the many questions that grow from it through authentic, hands-on experiences.

Dr. Loquasto stresses the importance of designing a curriculum that meets individual kids where they are from a skills and interest perspective, and personalizes it to challenge each child. “This ensures maximized academic learning, but also places equal emphasis on developing each child’s social-emotional skills, namely confidence, communication, problem-solving, and creativity.”

They Help Develop The So-Called “Soft Skills” That Really Matter

Preschool isn’t just where kids learn how to take turns playing with toys or sharing crayons. It’s where traits like resilience, collaboration, and independent thinking really begin. “These skills used to be referred to as ‘soft skills,’ which couldn’t be any further from the truth, as they’re the very skills that help your child build a strong foundation,” Dr. Loquasto explains. Take those everyday classroom moments for example: a block tower crashes down, and a child rebuilds it. A zipper won’t budge, but they keep tugging until it clicks. Each time they push through the frustration, they’re practicing a skill for bigger challenges ahead. And remember: development isn’t linear. Skills will mature at different times and in various ways.

How To Build Confidence & Curiosity At Home

To raise a confident, curious child, it helps to recognize what type of personality your child has. Do they become immediate best friends with other kids on the playground? Or do they prefer to hang back and observe from the bench? Depending on their unique personality and temperament, it will require a different kind of nurturing.

For example, if your child is introverted, Dr. Loquasto suggests finding ways to encourage them to engage with their peers in small groups until they are more comfortable. “Not all children are outgoing and extroverted, and that is OK. No child should be made to be something he or she is not,” she says. And as always, if you are concerned about your child’s development, it’s best to consult with your pediatrician. “Remember that child development is optimized when their ‘village’ is working together, so partner with your child’s teacher, pediatricians, and others to support your child,” Dr. Loquasto recommends.

As kids grow, you can also encourage communication by asking open-ended questions, like “What was your favorite part of today?” or “How did you solve that problem?” Giving them time to think and respond not only builds patience but also shows them their thoughts are valued, which boosts confidence in their ability to express themselves.

At the end of the day, preschool is about more than kindergarten prep. It’s about giving children the tools they’ll carry into every part of life. By nurturing curiosity, building confidence, and fostering resilience, preschool lays a foundation for children to grow into adaptable, thoughtful, and engaged learners. And while teachers play a big role, parents and caregivers are also partners in the process. Every “Why?” your child asks is an opportunity to explore the world together and a reminder that those small everyday moments are shaping the confident, curious person they’re becoming.

Whether you’re a first-time mom or a seasoned pro, a lot of feelings come up when it’s time for your baby to expand their very limited menu of breastmilk and/or formula. Chances are you didn’t stumble into this stage blind — your internet history probably proves you’ve been deep-diving forums and blowing up chats with every baby-led weaning (BLW) question under the sun. But never fear, mama — we’ve got the nitty-gritty.

So, what is BLW? It’s a method of introducing solids that fosters independence at mealtime. Instead of spoon-feeding purees, your baby takes the lead, learning to feed themselves. To build the skills needed to bite and chew, babies need practice with real food, which makes BLW a great way to promote oral-motor development along with hand, arm, and eye coordination. And bonus: Since baby eats what you eat, you’re not stuck making separate meals (and you save cash by skipping prepackaged baby food). Plus, it boosts social interaction and exposure to new flavors.

Most babies are ready for BLW around six months, but every child is different. Look for signs like sitting upright with little or no support, reaching for objects, bringing hands to mouth, and solid head control. To start, serve your baby what you’re eating — just be sure to cut it small enough to minimize choking risks.

If you’re ready to give it a go, it’s time to stock up on the non-negotiables, aka the OXO Tot baby-led weaning line. Each piece is extensively tested to withstand the messiest meals, making the transition smoother for both you and your tiny diner. Here are our favorites.

1. The Best-Of-The-Best Grape Cutter

It’s all fun and games until you almost slice your finger while trying to keep up with the amount of grapes one tiny human can consume. This grape cutter is an absolute game-changer for your food prep. Quickly and easily quarter grapes, small tomatoes, and even pitted olives in one simple push.

OXO Tot Grape Cutter

2. The Crinkle Cutter That Serves A Purpose

Yes, crinkle cut food is fun, but it also makes a big difference in BLW — the jagged edge provides a better grip on slippery foods like fruit or soft veggies. This crinkle cutter has a familiar knife grip position, so it feels comfortable when chopping, and it’s dishwasher safe.

OXO Tot Crinkle Cutter

3. The Restaurant Bag Necessity

Cutting food on the go can be tricky and time-consuming, but not with these travel food scissors. Measure markings can be used to help check for even pieces and portioning, and the blades separate for thorough cleaning.

OXO Tot On-the-Go Food Scissors with Case

4. Utensils That Fit Perfectly in Little Hands

Having the proper utensils for your baby’s BLW journey is key. This spoon and fork set’s unidirectional handle encourages correct orientation, plus the handles are made of grippy silicone for easy holding. The best part? There’s a dimple on the back to prevent them from rolling away.

OXO Tot Mini Fork & Spoon Set

5. The Must-Have Dipper Duo

Akin to a honey dipper, these nifty spoons are designed to help baby learn to self-feed without the need to scoop and balance. Purees and soft solids will easily cling to the head of the spoon, so baby can explore new flavors and textures with ease.

OXO Tot Dipper Spoon Set – 2-Pack

6. The All-In-One Placemat

Be prepared to use this suction placement at every meal. It’s got everything: a low bowl that aids in scooping and lets baby see what’s inside, a rainbow texture to help them practice grasping food, a two-zone approach that encourages interaction, and a raised outer wall to keep food from spilling over the sides.

OXO Tot Textured Suction Plate

7. A Compact Bib That Provides Coverage

Bibs are tricky — what’s better, fabric or silicone? These guys are the best of both worlds — a waterproof fabric upper section that provides ample coverage and a silicone pocket that catches crumbs. It even rolls up neatly into a compact design for easy portability and storage.

OXO Tot Roll-Up Bib - 2 Pack

8. Containers That Can Do It All

Portion, store, heat, and serve baby food in one container? Um, yes, please. Made of thermal shock-resistant glass, these containers can go directly from freezer to oven or microwave. The easy snap lids are leakproof so they’re ideal for a diaper bag and they’re stackable. *Adds 100 to cart*

OXO Tot Glass Baby Blocks Food Storage Containers

9. The No-Spill Transition Cup

Finding the perfect straw cup requires a lot of trial and error (and money...). Stop your searching and reach for this one — the almond-shaped, spill-proof straw conforms to baby’s mouth and only opens as soon as they start sipping, which means no unnecessary water drips. Toss the entire cup in the dishwasher and call it a day.

OXO Tot Transitions Straw Cup with Handles Set

Whether your family has always been a matching holiday jammies fam or this is a brand new tradition, you already know — Old Navy Jingle Jammies are some of the best. The brand always has a wide range of choices, from more traditional holiday pajamas like buffalo check to brighter, bolder jammies featuring fun characters and punchy colors, so you always get a chance to show off your family’s personality. And this year, the Old Navy Jingle Jammies x Disney collection is really going to put your family in the holiday spirit.

Romper can exclusively reveal three new Old Navy Jingle Jammies x Disney collections coming this holiday season, featuring nostalgic and classic Mickey, festive Star Wars, and bright Stitch prints. From Christmas Eve to family photos to holiday pajama day at school, any of these new Old Navy Jingle Jammies x Disney looks are going to be the perfect holiday option.

And yes — there are options for each print, so if you’ve got a kiddo who loves to match, but wants a different kind of top or a parent (it’s always a dad, let’s be honest) who doesn’t love a button-down shirt, but will gladly wear a pair of seasonal pajama bottoms, the Old Navy Jingle Jammies x Disney collection have you covered.

Old Navy Jingle Jammies x Stitch

The Stitch jammies might be some of my favorite ones out of the line this year. Featuring everyone’s favorite Experiment 626, the jammies are pink with lots of festive icons in the print. You can choose between a long-sleeve graphic tee top or a more traditional pajama top, so even kids with different preferences can still have a matching holiday look.

Old Navy Jingle Jammies x Star Wars

If you’re not saying things like, “Luke, I am your Father Christmas” over and over while wearing these, then what are you doing in Star Wars holiday jammies? I’m obsessed with these prints, featuring funny graphic tees and cute patterned two-piece sets, and I think this might be your best bet in getting Dad fully outfitted for a Christmas Eve matching moment.

I mean, the Stormtrooper hot cocoa helmet? I can’t. It’s too perfect.

Old Navy Jingle Jammies x Disney’s Mickey & Friends

And of course, you can’t have Disney jammies without the Head Mouse in Charge. I love a classic, nostalgia-inducing Mickey Mouse, and this year’s Mickey print really feels ‘90s-coded. These are the jammies you wear when you’re watching Mickey’s Christmas Carol or Mickey’s Once Upon a Christmas and remembering all of your own holiday memories.

The entire Old Navy Jingle Jammies x Disney collection will be live on OldNavy.com and available in stores, with the products ranging in price from $5.99 to $54.99. Go ahead and lock in which festive theme you want and check holiday jammies officially off your Christmas to-do list.

It’s that time of year again: Backpacks are in, flip flops are out. As the year kicks (back) into high gear, there are new school schedules to wrangle, seasonal colds to deal with, and your own self-care routine to maintain — which is why being prepared is everything. That’s where Alison Havens, motherhood guru and mom of three, really shines. To keep herself and her family healthy all fall and winter long (hi, cold and flu season), she makes one stop at CVS to stock up on her essentials. “As a busy mom, my main goal is to take as few trips as possible,” she says.

And this time of year, there’s extra incentive. The CVS Big Fall Wellness Sale is one to add to the shared calendar, especially if you’re stockpiling wellness products for the whole family. From September 14 through September 27, you can get $10 ExtraBucks (a.k.a. money to spend at CVS) when you spend $30 on wellness support products and use your ExtraCare card. Then, CVS continues with Hot Deals from September 28 through October 11.

To help round out your shopping list, Havens shared some of her go-tos for surviving the fall season. But consider it a starting point. After all, “I always end up finding at least one new favorite when I go in for ‘just one thing’,” she says. With that, here’s what’s in her cart.

Children's Tylenol

Buying children's pain reliever in bulk is pretty much a rite of passage for parents — and it could save you a last-minute trip to the drugstore when your kid comes home with a fever. “Back-to-school season basically means back-to-germs season,” says Havens. While she does what she can to get ahead of sniffles, she also relies on this cherry-flavored classic.

CVS -

Nature's Bounty Magnesium Tablets

Like calcium, magnesium is an essential mineral to help keep bones strong and muscles working their best. With back-to-school germs and busy schedules in full swing, the Nature's Bounty Magnesium Tablets make it easy to stay on top of your wellness. They’re third-party lab tested so you can feel confident about what you’re taking.

CVS -

Bausch + Lomb Lumify Redness Reliever Eye Drops

Havens always has these eye drops on her CVS shopping list, and for good reason. They reduce redness in 60 seconds and help your eyes look whiter and brighter. The effect lasts up to eight hours, making them her reliable everyday essential. If eye redness worsens or lasts more than 72 hours, be sure to contact your healthcare provider.

CVS -

Mucinex Fast-Max Severe Congestion and Cough & Nightshift Cold and Flu Combo Pack

Even with the best immune support out there, colds happen. “I try to remind myself not to panic over every sniffle — it’s all about doing what we can to stay ahead of the sicknesses,” says Havens. “I’ve got a stash of sick day products ready to go because no one wants to run to the store mid-fever meltdown.” One staple is this Mucinex combo pack, which makes it easier to manage cough around the clock, helping you power through the day and get the rest you need at night.

CVS -

Bloom Greens & Superfoods Powder

When life gets hectic, Havens still finds space for her own wellness routine. “I always make time to hydrate with water first thing in the morning before my much-needed caffeine,” says Havens. She sometimes adds this powder, which includes a ton of good-for-you ingredients like prebiotics, probiotics, antioxidants, superfoods like spirulina and chlorella, and, of course, fruits and veggies. Together, they help support gut health, promote energy, and ease bloating.

CVS -

The Honest Company Sanitizing Alcohol Wipes

Havens is a big fan of The Honest Company’s sanitizing essentials. She loves their hand sanitizer because it “smells good, doesn't dry my hands out, and my toddlers actually like using it,” she says. She also keeps the brand’s fragrance-free sanitizing wipes on hand — made with ethyl alcohol and a touch of aloe — which are perfect for quickly cleaning dirt and grime off little hands.

CVS -

Liquid I.V. Sugar Free

Liquid IV is a staple in Havens’s medicine cabinet. It’s “a must when colds are going around or you just need to catch up on hydration,” she says. The citrusy powder boosts water with electrolytes, vitamins, and nutrients to support hydration. Plus, the single-serve packets are easy to stash in your bag for rehydrating on the go.

CVS -

e.l.f. Hydrating Satin Camo Concealer

Havens has a trick for getting some time to herself — and that’s waking up before anyone else does. “Even just 10 minutes makes a huge difference,” she says. But because she’s an early bird, she usually reaches for this satin-finish concealer in her makeup routine. The hydrating formula delivers full coverage, resists creasing, and is long-wearing, which is essential since “no one needs to see how tired I actually am,” says Havens.

CVS -

Dr Teal's Melatonin Sleep Foaming Bath,

Havens’s end-of-day routine is just as important as her morning regimen, since it “sets the tone for the next day and makes me feel one step ahead,” she says. After straightening up the house and kitchen, she reaches for Dr. Teal’s melatonin-infused body-care line, which “smells dreamy and helps me wind down,” she says. This foaming bubble bath is infused with relaxing essential oils — think lavender and chamomile — and epsom salts for a super-restorative soak.

CVS -

Among the seemingly endless costs that parents take on upon expanding their families, there seem to be some lingering misconceptions about how much it costs to feed an infant.

In fact, if you’ve ever browsed a comment section wherein a mom claims that “breastfeeding is free” or otherwise extremely low-cost, you’ve probably wanted to shoot daggers through your fingertips. Because not only is it not true, it neglects to account for the many economic and racial disparities in breastfeeding — and that’s without mentioning the complications so many breastfeeding parents encounter along the way.

So, we did a little digging to determine, definitively, whether breastfeeding or formula feeding is more expensive. Turns out the answer might surprise you.

From the jump, it’s worth noting that this is (as always!) a shame-free zone, so this is not a debate over whether formula feeding or breastfeeding is “better” — each family’s circumstances are unique, and ultimately, fed is best. Another inarguable truth: Parenting a child is expensive, and so many parents are relying on multiple income streams just to barely scrape by.

Dr. Laurie Jones, chief medical officer for Willow, echoes that sentiment. “Modern parenting has extraordinary costs no matter how you feed your infant since most parents financially must return to paid work,” she notes. Oftentimes, that return to work comes within weeks of welcoming a baby, making round-the-clock feedings an enormously challenging responsibility.

“The perception is that breastfeeding is more affordable; however, that is only if it goes well from the start in a country with adequate maternity leave,” she adds. Given that the U.S. is the only wealthy country in the world without any guaranteed paid parental leave, even parents who are able to exclusively breastfeed find themselves having to juggle feeding with returning to work quickly after delivery.

Jones cites the many tools possibly needed by breastfeeding parents as another factor. Some might include:

• Nursing bras
• Breastpump and replacement or extra parts
• Nursing-friendly clothing
• Visits with a lactation consultant
• Nursing pads
• Nipple cream/ointment and/or silverettes
• Nursing pillow
• Nipple shields
• Milk collectors and/or milk storage bags
• Costs associated with healthcare visits to treat any issues that might arise (such as mastitis or nipple thrush), as well as prescriptions
• Increased grocery costs to sustain higher caloric input for the breastfeeding parent

Of course, not every breastfeeding parent will require each of these items, but the assertion that breastfeeding is free is a gross miscalculation, no matter how you slice it.

Infant formula, however, isn't exactly a budget-friendly item, especially if you try a few different kinds before finding the right one for your baby. Specialty formulas (such as soy-based or hypoallergenic) are typically even costlier — a 13-ounce can of Enfamil's infant formula priced at $4.97 is $2 cheaper at Walmart than the same-size can of its soy-based counterpart. Then, add in costs incurred from bottles, bottle sanitizers and warmers, and any additional parts, and things can get pricey.

Research in this area is inadequate (surprise, surprise!), but one 2023 study published in the Journal of Perinatology calculated the many costs associated with breastfeeding in comparison to a year's supply of formula and extra parts/supplies. The formula estimate came in between $760 and $2,280, while breastfeeding for one year may cost upwards of $10,500.

"The number one opportunity cost of breastfeeding is the parents' time," says Jones. Caregiving labor is woefully underappreciated — feeding parents are given little to no financial support, often expending hours per day pumping or breastfeeding. Then, there's the time and energy spent cleaning and caring for equipment. If a parent uses both methods, they're likely to incur costs for both.

"In addition, the societal costs of formula feeding have been well studied and contribute to increased health care costs and disease burden for both infants and women," adds Jones. "The Mother's Milk Tool quantifies the value of human milk produced by the world's breastfeeding parents. There is also an online calculator that shows the impact at a national level of sub-optimal breastfeeding — meaning the families intended to breastfeed, but barriers led them to need to use formula."

No matter your method, infant feeding is a tremendous financial burden, one that disproportionately affects low-income and marginalized families in the U.S. Thankfully, Jones recommends some solid tips for saving money on feeding expenses.

"First and foremost, check your insurance coverage," she says. "Under the Affordable Care Act, tools such as some lactational consultant services and breast pumps are fully covered by health insurance or require a small out-of-pocket cost, which can be covered with FSA/HSA funds. I do encourage moms to do their research, as the insurance process can be complex and you'll want to know exactly what is covered and the reimbursement rates for services and products."

"Also, consider generic alternatives to expensive formula brands to save thousands of dollars," she adds. "Moms probably don't need to buy large-sized bottles and multiple bottle nipples with various opening levels, which can actually put your infant at risk of guzzling so quickly that their stomach receptors don't realize they are full. An intuitive-paced feeding of expressed breast milk or formula will typically stay in the same volume range from month 1 to month 6."

Jones notes there are also some no-cost resources available that can help without adding to your already growing expenses.

"There are several free services and events that moms can tap into, including local WIC offices' breastfeeding peer support, hospital breastfeeding support groups, as well as national and state-offered breastfeeding hotlines and community events," she explains. "‘Fourth Trimester Arizona' is a great example of an organization that hosts events to support feeding options for all families."

Lastly, Jones says to "never underestimate the power of online parent groups," adding, "Many members sell and trade items such as breastfeeding pillows, bottles, and pump accessories. Just make sure the items can be sterilized."

Of course, until state and federal policy changes work to provide adequate support and savings to feeding parents, there is sadly no way to eliminate costs associated with formula or breastfeeding. New parents deserve so much more, especially as inflation continues to rise nationwide and wages remain stagnant. No parent in a country as wealthy as ours should ever have to choose between feeding their child and other essentials, and it's a failure of policy that so many do.

Dear GEP,

I am trying for my first child, which is both exciting and making me anxious. I thought babies didn't need much, but the more I talk to other people, the more I realize that having a child will be as expensive as it is wonderful. What do I actually need to support a kid? And is anyone ever financially ready to have a baby?

There is a saying widely repeated in my family, that all you really need to have a baby is “a towel, and a drawer.” My father, who has had five children and eight grandchildren, is the origin of this statement – and I don’t doubt that when he had his first baby in the early seventies, at the age of 27, they didn’t have too much more than those advised essentials.

As I folded hand-me-downs last month with my younger brother, whose first baby is now just a few weeks old, we chuckled about our dad’s perhaps apocryphal advice. What did he know, anyway? What’s so wild about it, though, is that, a decade into parenting, the “towel-and-a-drawer” maxim feels both completely absurd and refreshingly wise.

A lot has changed since the seventies. When I was pregnant with my first child, my dad’s perspective on parenting preparation felt as silly as giving a colicky baby a finger of whiskey. First, the cost of living for families in this country has grown astronomically. My parents, for example, could afford a home in a diverse city on two therapist’s salaries. Now, the house I grew up in has been divided into luxury condos that I could only dream of affording. Childcare costs are real, and overwhelming: My husband and I calculated when our last child started public kindergarten that we had spent almost $200,000 on the first five years of care for our two children. Children need medical care, and medical care in this country is becoming more expensive and elusive by the day.

And, of course there is the stuff. Fifty years ago, my dad, who I promise you did have a legit crib for my oldest sibling, had few options and little pressure to make baby-related purchases. Now, new parents like my brother and his partner are bombarded with ads and suggestions from other parents to buy high-tech strollers, specially designed tummy-time mats, and smart bottle-warmers. Even with older children, I find it difficult to turn down this constant thrum, the promise that if I just shell out a few more bucks, some aspect of life that I perhaps hadn’t even considered as a danger would be made easier for myself or my kids.

But what do our children, what do we really need??? Don’t get me wrong – the social and political structure of many places, the U.S. in particular, make the financial burden of childrearing fall on individual parents in ways both avoidable and cruel. Reading Abigail Leonard’s Four Mothers, which tells the story of four women becoming pregnant and navigating their children’s first year across four continents, this fact could not be clearer. Having children is less expensive when you have paid leave (the US is the only industrialized nation without it), or universal health care, or state-funded childcare.

But, though many of our financial parenting woes are systemically-created, we do have choices within in that crappy system. Some purchases – like a comfortable breast pump or a carrier that won’t break your back – really can make parenting easier. But most of the actual expenses you may be dreading are either not essential, or readily available, used or free from parents who are dying to get rid of the gear their children so quickly age out of.

Patricia Johnson, a financial planner in the Bay Area and solo-mother-by-choice of a 10-year-old, agrees. “There's a lot of consumerism built into modern parenting that just isn't necessary,” Johnson explained. In her parent clients, she sees patterns of spending that don’t really benefit children, like classes, weekend activities, and the biggest culprit, restaurants. “The kids are fine just at the park,” she told me. “Your kid doesn’t need variety, you do.”

In terms of preparation, Johnson mostly believes that parents will make the adjustments they need to make once they understand their parenting priorities, and that this “make-it-work mentality” is a natural byproduct of raising kids that isn’t all bad. She’s had parents change jobs, for example, in order to afford dyslexia interventions. “THEY JUST DO IT,” she says.

For those in your position, thoughtfully ruminating on the best case scenario for a future with children, Johnson’s pre-baby advice is the same she’d give any clients. She recommends tracking spending for a period of time to get clear on what your habits are, and doing it before you have a child so you’re not having to do that work during the first year of parenting.

“It allows you to prioritize, and then you'll have a better sense of what you're willing to let go of if you have to make trade offs as a new parent.” She also recommends worrying less about college savings and more about retirement, as you can borrow and scheme for the former but not the latter.

I would also add in that flexing your communal and collaborative muscles – getting to know your neighbors, sharing responsibilities with friends, getting comfortable asking for and offering help– will be enormously beneficial to you when you realize that even a teenaged babysitter can charge $25 an hour and if you only need one car if you can arrange a daycare carpool. This, of course, takes work, but it is worth it. And it’s not only for your mental-health – childcare swaps, shared meals, and pooled resources can end up saving you money in the long run.

Who is ready to have a baby? No one. And also, mostly everyone. I’m sure you can find a towel and a drawer somewhere.

The Good Enough Parent is an advice column for parents who are sick of parenting advice. Let Sarah answer your questions about the messy realities of parenting! Send her your questions via this anonymous form or by emailing her at goodenoughparentcolumn@gmail.com.

When Bobbi Dempsey’s oldest son was born in 1989, her insurance did not cover the entire cost of the birth—something that was unfortunately common in her small Pennsylvania town. The hospital, accustomed to patients without wads of cash on hand, offered a payment plan that many families eagerly signed up for. Month after month, Dempsey ran into friends at the hospital cashier’s office as they made in-person payments towards the balance of their birth expenses.

“We would just laugh and be like, ‘See ya next month, same time, same place," she recalls. It took two years of eye rolls and jokes with other local moms before their debt was paid. “It seemed wild and ludicrous at the time.”

Walking into a hospital to pay a bill in person these days is rare, but Dempsey’s experience remains shockingly common. According to the Centers for Disease Control, Medicaid funds 41% of births in this country, while private insurance pays for about 52%. The remaining births are either self-pay or become medical debt. Many American families cannot cover a large unexpected expense, but setting up payment plans or negotiating to lower bills is confusing and stressful, leaving parents with more questions than answers. Extenuating circumstances, such as NICU stays, complicate matters and result in astronomical bills that regularly surpass $1 million.

“Medical bills are so confusing because the U.S. healthcare system was never purpose-built; it has grown and mutated over time,” says Chris Severn. He’s the CEO and cofounder of Turquoise Health, a platform focused on bringing transparency to medical pricing for patients—a tricky job. “All of the administrative systems we use today were created in silos, resulting in a disjointed and inefficient healthcare system. As a result, prices vary wildly between hospitals, insurers, and even patients with the same coverage.” Despite his expertise, even Severn and his wife faced unexpected costs after the delivery of their son in 2024.

“My wife and I were fortunate that she had a complication-free delivery of a healthy baby boy, for which you would expect a standard billing process and set of costs,” says Severn. Despite a textbook birth, bills full of codes, jargon, and lists of small charges added stress to an already busy time. “I thought it was ironic that while I have more niche knowledge on the cost of healthcare than most people, it is so complicated that even I struggled to anticipate the costs.”

Severn did negotiate with their insurance company to reduce their costs, and says this should be standard procedure for new parents hit with a surprise bill. They were charged $6,200 for an epidural, though the final negotiated cost was $2,680.

“Ask providers for an itemized bill, and compare prices across hospitals,” says Severn. “Knowing the fair market price for a service is the first step toward avoiding overpayment and holding the system accountable.” If there’s a code on your bill with a price amount attached, Severn says to just Google it—these codes are standard nationwide. Turquoise Health has a database of healthcare costs across the country that can be useful for negotiating, as well. There are other healthcare cost estimators available, such as this resource from Fair Health Consumer.

I’m not the first one – and I won’t be the last – to tell you that the way insurance is set up in this country is fundamentally broken. Private insurance is often tied to employment, while Medicaid eligibility is based on income or disability. This leaves parents relying on a slapdash mashup of programs that may or may not cover the costs associated with adding a new family member—and little clear guidance on where to start.

Louise Norris, a health policy analyst with Healthinsurance.org, says birth expenses are particularly stressful because they are often the first time someone has to battle with insurance. Someone with a chronic illness may be a pro at arguing down the cost of a medical procedure, but that’s often not the case for new parents. “Birth is an example of a perfectly healthy person having their first real experience with significant medical bills and the claims process,” says Norris. “But the nice thing about childbirth is that you have some time to prepare.”

Norris urges parents to contact their insurance well before birth to gain an understanding of their potential out-of-pocket costs. “They cannot give you an exact number, as they can’t predict if you will need a NICU stay or other care, but it’s a starting point.” Parents should also find out if they qualify for Medicaid and apply before birth, even if they have private insurance.

That’s because private insurance plans have complicated deductibles and copays, while Medicaid often covers the bulk of medical services for an individual. The government-backed insurance will function as secondary insurance, covering what private insurance denies and greatly reducing the remaining balance.

The income guidelines for pregnant women and infants are much higher than standard Medicaid thresholds, and many women do not realize they qualify while pregnant. Nationally, the income threshold is 138% of the Federal Poverty Level [FPL], though many states have expanded access—Pennsylvania uses 215% of the FPL as their cutoff, for example.

Norris also warns new parents to pay very close attention to timelines. Missing the enrollment period to add a newborn to private insurance can result in denied claims, and Medicaid will only backdate payments for three months. That timeline is reduced to only two months under the recently passed One Big Beautiful Bill, though that change will not take place until late 2026.

For Jessica Harper*, excitedly anticipating the birth of her twin boys in 2018, million-dollar medical bills were not on her radar. She and her husband were thinking about double strollers, matching onesies, and introducing their young daughter to her two new brothers.

That all shifted quickly when the unimaginable happened—the couple lost one of their sons, and the surviving twin faced significant complications that required a NICU stay. “It was awful,” recalls Harper. They were planning a funeral, grieving, and dealing with their son’s uncertain prognosis. The chaos and grief meant the couple nearly missed the window to add their son to their family’s private employer-sponsored insurance. “We dragged our feet, but it was just like ‘one more thing,’ and it also felt like acknowledging the enormity of what had happened,” she says of that time. “

The Harpers managed to find a few moments to apply before the 30-day cutoff, and their private insurance did cover the nearly seven-figure bill. They also had to apply for Medicaid, which covers ongoing medical costs for their surviving son.

Many children born with complications qualify for Medicaid based on a permanent or temporary disability, even if their family is above the income requirements. This is the most common way large NICU bills are covered in the United States, with Medicaid paying for about half of preterm births annually. “If we did not have Medicaid today, my son would not continue to get the services he needs. His ongoing care is all covered by Medicaid,” says Harper.

The Harpers’ experience is sadly far from uncommon, says Norris. She urges parents to be proactive and contact their insurance carrier, but not panic. “There could be an error; something as simple as a typo can mean the plan does not get processed,” she says. Most hospitals have a social worker on staff, and Norris says these professionals are skilled at breaking charges down into plain language for parents. Many hospitals also offer no-interest payment plans, which often makes sense versus struggling to pay a bill in full. A Biden-era ruling removed medical debt from credit reports, but a recent Trump-era action reversed that protection, so ignored medical bills can affect your credit.

The key, says Norris, is to review everything carefully, seek expert advice when needed, and develop a workable plan (all while recovering from birth and caring for a newborn, of course).

“Don’t ignore a bill and assume it can just be fixed or will disappear, but do not just write a check without asking some questions.”

Meg St-Esprit, M. Ed., is a journalist and essayist based in Pittsburgh, PA. She’s a mom to four kids via adoption as well as a twin mom. She loves to write about parenting, education, trends, and the general hilarity of raising little people.

I used to make good money. In fact, when I got engaged to my now ex-husband, I was making more than he was. Yes, he was a hard worker, but I was a few years older than him, had been in the workforce longer, and had been on my own for a while. We still split everything down the middle when we moved in and he never complained or told me I should contribute more because I made more.

Then after we got married and had babies right away, we decided together that I’d stay home with the kids. It was something we both wanted and were equally excited about. He started a company and did really well. He made more than enough to support our family, and we were both smart with our money. No credit card debt, didn’t live above our means, and neither of us were really extravagant.

But even in that situation we still fought about money. I was used to contributing and going shopping to get a new outfit when I wanted. I also love going out to eat and we did that regularly when we had two incomes. After we had a baby, though, and I went out to eat, my ex would make a comment about how it wasn’t really necessary and we should save as much as possible.

I agreed with the saving thing, but I didn’t want to stop living my life. We weren’t going out and doing things as much. I only shopped during sales, and as much as I wanted a new car, I didn’t push it because the one I had was fine.

I felt like I was making adjustments, but we still had arguments about spending. My ex was not a controlling man by any means, but he only enjoyed spending money on certain things. He didn’t care as much about going out to eat or staying up on the latest fashion trends. But those were two things that made me so happy. And frankly, they made me feel alive. We all need an outlet, something to look forward to, and those were my things.

In a way, I felt like he was trying to take that away from me and I would not let that happen.

I started asking him for permission to spend money to avoid fighting about it. That didn’t work, as he’d say we should use any extra money to save for college funds or retirement. Even if I really wanted something, he’d come back with “You don’t need that.”I’d usually reply with something akin to “Just because you don’t care about how you dress doesn't mean I have to live that way,” or “you get to leave the house every day and go to work, so going out to eat is something I really look forward to. I don’t want to make all the meals and it’s not like you help.”

Needless to say, it brought out an ugly side in both of us. We had previously made such a great team, so I never expected for that to happen. Neither of us were right, of course. But there was a shift, a change. We both had to make sacrifices, and that’s hard. No one wants someone to tell them what they can’t and can't do with money. My husband was under a lot of pressure starting a business and going from supporting himself to supporting me and a child. I didn’t have enough empathy then, and he didn’t have empathy for the fact that I had lost some identity and freedom.

Yes, this was a sacrifice we both agreed to make not knowing how hard it was going to be.

I had always worked, knew my budget, and treating myself to things was how I loved myself. And I felt like that was being threatened.

You may roll your eyes, or you may completely understand. All I know is that I’ve never talked to a couple that didn’t go through growing pains over money after they had a baby. Every situation is unique, is hard, and requires some tough talks and sacrifices.

It took a bit, but my ex and I finally got on the same page. It required both of us to make some changes because ultimately, the most important thing to us was for me to stay at home with the kids.

If you’re going through this with your partner, be gentle on yourself but also gentle on them. It’s likely that neither of you have been through this before and there’s a learning curve.

Nobody really talks about the money fights you’ll have after the baby comes. Be prepared, and more importantly, remember that the faster you come to a comfortable place for both of you, the faster you can enjoy this new life. You’re allowed to change your mind about working. You’re allowed to get another job, or a different job. And letting go of some luxuries can actually be freeing.

There will always be sacrifices to make when you become a parent; this might just be one of them.

Mandy Moore understands the pressure to be perfect. From her start as a teen pop singer to the matriarch on one of TV’s most-watched series (she’ll forever be Rebecca Pearson from This Is Us in our hearts), she’s had to become a pro at filtering out endless expectations and opinions. But, as anyone with kids can attest, doing that as a mom is easier said than done.

Lately, though, in the aftermath of what has been one of the most difficult years of her life, Moore has resurfaced in a surprising place: calm.

When we caught up with her fresh off a family trip, she candidly told us that, yes, having three young kids can be chaotic — and there’s no shortage of unsolicited advice from others about how to raise them. Yet, there’s a confidence that comes with experience, and as a third-time mom, Moore feels better equipped than ever to tune out all the noise. The result: She’s leaning into her own intuition and embracing that motherhood is inherently imperfect.

“There’s no ‘right’ way” to be a mom,” she reminds us. “The right way is what works for you.”

To that end, well, let’s just say Moore is a big fan of making motherhood easier wherever you can — whether that’s on travel days (snacks and iPads FTW), with feeding (a ByHeart partner, she’s raved about their portable Anywhere Pack), or leaning all the way in to cohabitating with what sounds like the world’s best in-laws.

You recently came back from family trips to Montana and Mexico. What felt different about traveling this time around — with three kids in tow?

It's tough on one hand, but I also feel like we're in this sweet spot where our travel hack is anything goes. You can eat whatever you want, you can have screen time, do all of the things that are just going to make your life and our life inherently easier during a travel day.

We're not a big screen time family at all, so the boys are very excited to travel because it means they get to use their iPads and watch whatever movie they want. And we make sure we have plenty of food, because you never know what you're going to find in the airport, and you never know what's going to be on an airplane. So, we come prepared with sandwiches and crackers and string cheese and all of the things.

But they're just at that good age where they're pretty self-sufficient once you slap that in front of their faces. And Lou is 10 months old, so she's super sweet and easy and just wants to have books read to her, play with crinkly toys, and have some milk and some little yogurt snacks. It's that before-she's-running-around toddler phase and wanting to not sit still. We're kind of in this easy spot of my husband has both boys, I've got the baby, we've got it all figured out.

That also works for me — promising myself little treats.

Right? Yeah, having something you know you can look forward to is a game-changer.

Baby Lou’s first birthday is around the corner. How are you feeling about hitting that big milestone?

I'm in actual disbelief that we're almost to a year at this point. It’s hard to wrap my head around. But I'm excited to keep getting to know who she is and seeing her relationship with her brothers. They're just so sweet with her; they're so doting and so gentle … No one is funnier to her than her brothers, and they're obsessed with trying to make her laugh and smile. It's the best.

I'm very much savoring this particular chapter, because, as you know well, it changes on a dime. Someone's going to have a sleep regression or teeth coming in or God knows what, so it's like let's just own this beautiful time right now and really lean into it.

We’re all bombarded with parenting opinions these days. Was there a turning point for you in being able to tune that out?

It's interesting. I just feel like there's not a ton of substitute for the opportunity to do something over again. Being on my third go-round, motherhood just feels a bit calmer, so I'm able to tap into my intuition a little bit easier than maybe I even expected and trust my instincts. You don't know what to expect the first go-round, so it's really a bit more of a challenge to do that.

Living on social media, it's helpful to find a community, to have some sort of point of reference. But sometimes, it's just completely unhelpful — there are too many voices and too many opinions. As a parent, the biggest journey for me was realizing that, a lot of times, I had the answers to begin with. I just had to tune out the noise, step away from my phone, take in all the information, let that absorb in me, by all means, but then really just lean into what I inherently knew in my gut was going to work for me… and realizing that what worked for me wasn't going to work for everybody.

There's just confidence in embracing the imperfection and the messiness of parenthood, and letting yourself let go of that pressure.

One thing moms definitely hear a lot about is how we feed our kids. What would you tell a new parent who’s putting pressure on themselves to “get it right”?

I absolutely understand it … I went back to work with my oldest when he was a month old, and my middle guy when he was 6 weeks old, and I was very, very lucky and grateful to have a job that allowed me to bring my baby to work so I was able to nurse. I think what was different for this third go-round was that I didn't have anything on the docket; I was super excited to just soak in all of this time with Lou.

With each baby, I let them lead the charge in terms of how long they wanted to nurse, and I was really fortunate that all worked well in my life and worked well for my milk supply. Things were thumbs up, and I know that's not the case for everybody.

But when Lou was 3 ½ months old, the fires happened here in LA. It was incredibly stressful and traumatic, and my milk supply dropped immediately. I was freaking out, so I went to my pediatrician and was like, ‘Do I try and find breast milk on the black market? Do I ask a friend who is nursing if they have extra supply?’ He was like, ‘No, no. You take that off your plate entirely and supplement with formula. Nurse her and then supplement with formula when needed.’ And I was like, ‘OK.’

So in about four months, I started supplementing with ByHeart. Then, at six months, Lou was just done entirely with me and didn't want to nurse anymore, so we transitioned to ByHeart full-time. I loved that the formula really mirrors breast milk in its structure and benefits; breast milk is really the blueprint for ByHeart. I wasn't going to compromise anything by switching over full-time to formula.

Do you feel like that shift had a surprisingly big impact on your mental load?

I think, when that time period entered our life of supplementing, being able to take that one extra stressful thing off my plate made me a better parent. Knowing my mental health and being able to show up and be present for her and for Gus and Ozzie was the greatest thing I could have done for all of us.

I'm so glad I was able to hear my pediatrician and tap into my own intuition. He was echoing what I knew in my gut as well: This is what's going to be best for me. Once I let go of that expectation — Am I doing the right thing for me? Am I doing the right thing for my baby? — and knew that everyone was going to be OK, it just made it so much easier. There was no looking back for me.

So, I guess that's just what I would impart to women: However your feeding journey looks, there is no ‘right’ way to do it. There is no perfect feeding journey; that doesn't exist. The right way is what works for you.

You’ve been open about the loss of your home in the LA fires, and we’re so sorry you guys went through that. One thing I’ve noticed in your journey since then is the way you’ve talked about your mother-in-law, Kathy. It’s so rare to hear that dynamic in such a positive light. What are some of the ways she shows up for your family that are really meaningful to you?

I'm going to get emotional. I just don't know what I would've done in these last eight months without her. My mother-in-law and father-in-law lost their house too, and so we were able to find a rental that we could all live in together.

This season of our life, to be able to all be together … it's everything. I never would've dreamed of it. I just would've never expected that we would've had this time all under one roof, but it's been beautiful for all of us. It's been so healing.

We were able to put the kids down and then make some tea for ourselves and talk about navigating insurance and all the adult conversations you don't want the kids privy to, especially in the beginning. We were able to live that together and have each other to lean on.

Just the simple fact of putting the kids down and not having to have a babysitter! Kathy's like, ‘I'll watch the kids. You and Taylor go out and have dinner; you guys need a date night.’ Having that built-in babysitter, oh my God, I never ever want to give it up. I'm like, ‘You realize you're never going to leave, right?’

It's just been the best thing ever … she’s a dream.

This interview originally ran on Scary Mommy. It has been edited for length and clarity.

My elementary school in my breezy, beachside Florida hometown was quaint and familial. Seagulls squawked over the pavilion during P.E. class, and you could smell the ocean anytime you walked from the cafeteria to recess. All the classrooms opened up to little courtyards with picnic tables, and our parents would gather outside the doors for us to be released at 2:30 each day. I still remember walking out in the afternoon and knowing exactly which of my classmates each mother was there for, their first names, and the cars they drove home each day. I remember the way my mom chatted with everyone at first, then, over the course of the school year, gravitated toward the other mothers who’d been through divorce — those women, especially, were kind and caring toward me even when I wasn’t necessarily close with their kids.

Today, parents are lucky when they get the opportunity to set foot on campus. There is no waiting in the courtyard together each day; schools are fenced in, badge entry protected, and battened down to prevent any kind of violence or tragedy. While I obviously appreciate the protection for my own child, it comes at a cost. It is harder than ever to find community with other parents at our kids’ schools.

Recently, I mentioned this feeling of disconnect to a coworker — that I wouldn’t know how to get in touch with another parent in my son’s class without asking his teacher for their information, and I didn’t even know if she was allowed to give it to me. She said her son’s school had a directory that parents could opt into, which shared their phone numbers, email addresses, and children’s names so things like birthday and playdate invitations, and rides to and from school, could be arranged easily. That seemed wild to me, and my other colleagues, as we all so rarely see the other parents in my kids’ classes. And asking for such information feels inappropriate, like prying, when it’s not made readily available.

During my son’s first year at his new school, I felt totally lost when it came to meeting and connecting with other parents. We don’t congregate at any point during the week to drop off or pick up, and when my son asked if he could have a classmate over to play, it felt awkward to even ask for their parents’ info. Teachers do so much already — should I really pester them about this sort of thing? “No” is the answer I always settled on.

Instead, I tried to make myself known any chance I could. When my son points out another child he knows at pickup, I go out of my way to greet their mom. Birthday parties for other students? We’re there, and I’m chatting you up between pizza and cake. My husband and I went to all the open houses and school events. I volunteered in the classroom. I chaperoned a field trip. Doing these things is a privilege, obviously — I am lucky to work for people who value parents and are super flexible with allowing me to attend daytime events. Not everyone is so fortunate. But by finding ways to bump elbows with other parents whenever I could, I kind of got to recreate the courtyard crew I remember from my own childhood.

This year when we returned to school, we followed our usual routine: We parked in the grass lot across from the school, got out, and gathered our things. Before even crossing the street, the mom of one of my son's classmates — a mom I’d befriended at a birthday party, and again on a field trip — rolled down her window as she passed by. “Hey! So good to see you!” she said, and it genuinely felt that way to me too. We said good morning to the school resource officer directing traffic. Another mom friend who had just dropped her son off saw us and gave me a big hug. My son’s wonderful music teacher was at the front gate, greeting everyone. After he went to class, I strolled to the cafeteria for the first day “boohoo breakfast” thrown by our PTA, and quickly found a table full of parents from my neighborhood all munching on croissants and talking about their kids’ first-day feelings. Some were new, and the parents I was already acquainted with made introductions.

I walked back to my car, smiling inside, and texted my mom, glowing that all the times we’d shown up the previous year had indeed resulted in a sense of community. Cultivating that is no longer as simple as showing up to pick up my kid every day. It was inconvenient and sometimes simply not possible to make it to everything. But by going to the things I could, making conversation even when I normally wouldn’t, and giving my time when I had some to spare, I finally feel grounded in the network of parents at my son’s school. And yes, he knows many of their names and what they drive too.

Whether you feel like your child’s personality matches their zodiac sign or not, it’s so fun to think about how their different character traits are affected by new situations — like back-to-school season. Some kids may be more sensitive, and some may be more excited; some may feel that this is the time of year to tackle their goals, and some may just be ready to go with the flow. But no matter what, using their zodiac signs as a starting point can help you figure out how your child might react to the new school year — and how you can help them along.

Aries

Your Aries babe has probably been ready for school the minute the first pencil went up on Target shelves. They’re ready for a challenge, they’re ready to tackle goals, and they really, really want to pave their own way this school year. Maybe they’re still feeling adventurous from summer, but because Aries kids are so determined and passionate, it won’t take but a minute for them to shift all of that fiery energy into having the best school year of their lives. (They also might get in trouble for talking too much.)

Taurus

Be honest: Did your Taurus child plan their own back-to-school outfit? Did they have it out on their dresser the night before, reminding you that they wanted waffles and blueberries for breakfast? A Taurus is known for being steadfast and practical, but they are also known for liking what they like, for choosing comfort and luxury when they can, and for really leaning in on the things that make them feel best. Maybe your little Taurus was a little meh about the change in routine and a new school year, but they’re also not going to let a school year run them over — they’re the bull of the zodiac signs after all. And no matter what, they’re going to make sure they’re getting out of their school year exactly what they want and need.

Gemini

Oh, sweet little Gemini. Chances are they’ve already made three best friends within the first week of school — but then they come home and are ready to decompress. Your Gemini could be getting in trouble for talking too much and being too social, or they could be hanging out in the library during lunch, helping restock books instead of chatting with friends. I wouldn’t be surprised if your Gemini babe is already being given extra jobs so that they stay engaged and don’t get bored when they find the day’s assignments too small for all of their energy.

Cancer

Your sweet little sensitive Cancer child will be a mix of excitement and anxiety. They might cry — everything feels too big, everything’s changing too fast — and they will definitely be worried about how you’re handling everything if they see you sad. Keep a nice, happy, normal routine at home with their favorite little rituals. They’ll be so happy to come home at the end of the day and find their comfort zone, but they’ll eventually get into the swing of things and find their new routine.

Leo

Did your Leo child walk right into Meet the Teacher day and immediately share every detail of their summer and then show their teacher how they can do a cartwheel? Got it. Leos are big and bold and courageous, and they can often be found right in the middle of the room’s brightest spotlight. They are so much fun and have such good energy! In school, that could mean your Leo is the class clown, the social butterfly, and/or the leader of the classroom... who has to be reminded sometimes to sit back down. Leos are also pretty intuitive, so if you’re getting reports from school that your Leo is a good friend and eager to help anybody in their classroom, that tracks.

Virgo

I need you to give your big Virgo kid a squeeze. These little perfectionists can sometimes feel overwhelmed by all of the things, and as practical and organized and meticulous as they are, sometimes it can get so loud that it clouds their ability to have fun. Remind your Virgo that they are allowed to enjoy things, even if it’s not as perfect as they hoped it would be, and that sometimes a different result is just that — a different result. On the extremely plus side, your Virgo has had all their school supplies organized for weeks and probably read the syllabus at least twice.

Libra

Libras are balanced and steady, forever seeing both sides of every story, so a little Libra getting ready to go to school? They are already analyzing all the things, preparing themselves for anything to happen. They’re social and outgoing, tactful and diplomatic, and they will be the peacemaker in a classroom any chance they get. They’re probably eager to see their friends and find their comfort zone in school, but also excited about all the unknowns that come with the year.

Scorpio

The intensity of a Scorpio truly can’t be matched, and as your little scorpion babe heads into a new school year, chances are they are already making grand plans, hyper-focused on their ideas, and thinking ahead to the things they want to accomplish — whether that’s some new sport or activity or just upgrading their social life. But your Scorpio can also be stubborn, and if they feel out of control with the start of a new school year, they might react poorly.

Sagittarius

Man, I hope your spontaneous, adventure-loving Sagittarius hasn’t completely lost their mind over the routine of school. Hopefully the first few days are still fresh and new, but a Sagittarius thrives on freedom and independence, and being stuck in a classroom all day can really do a number on them. With their love of knowledge and curious nature, however, they may be able to squeak through the school routine with more joy than angst.

Capricorn

I bet your Capricorn kiddo has already earned a spot at the top of their teacher’s list for the type of kids who can be trusted to deliver items around the school or run to the front office for something. A Capricorn loves structure, is overwhelmingly realistic and practical, and loves to feel on top of their game. You won’t hear that your Capricorn got overwhelmed in class and cried, no. They’ll save that for when they’re home, where hopefully nobody ever has to know that they had a moment of weakness.

Aquarius

Your water baby Aquarius has probably proven to you that they do things their own way, and that definitely goes for back-to-school season, too. Maybe you thought they’d be excited, but they’re more practical than that, or maybe you thought they’d be nervous, but they’re just too busy analyzing everything. No matter what, you can trust that your little Aquarius is engaging in big conversations at school, raising their hand to ask deeper questions, and sharing their extremely honest opinions. They’re not going to get too emotional with you about how they feel — but they will give you a detailed play-by-play of the day (if you ask the right questions).

Pisces

Pisces are daydreamers, and they are extremely intuitive and insightful. But this can also mean they feel too many emotions at once and get moody and overstimulated. So, if your Pisces babe has been coming home feeling a lot less excited than they were when they first left for school, don’t panic. They’re loving all the good energy and vibes, but the minute they feel something negative on the outside, they can quickly lock down and feel like they’ve lost their footing. Your Pisces kid may just need a little reminder that they can control how things affect them, especially at school.

There is nothing like back-to-school anxiety... for parents. I mean, I’m sure kids are nervous, too, but parents know way more about what’s to come, and we can really let our brains spiral when we want to. The problem with all of this anxiety is that as much as we encourage our kids to talk about theirs and ask for help and reach out to people around them, it feels a little scary to let our own anxiety flags out into the wind for everyone to see — especially your kid’s new teacher. You want to be the chill, calm, collected parent, but what if you’re anxious about your kid using the bathroom at school or unsure how the pick-up line works or want more information on school supplies? Should you email your kid’s teacher before the first day of school? Or is that going a little too far?

I didn’t talk to your teachers, but I know what they’d want me to tell you: just take a deep breath. Whether this is your first kid in school or your first year in a new school, it’s easy to get overwhelmed and anxious about all that’s to come. And they understand that. Many teachers are parents themselves, and they know exactly what you’re worried about. Even the brand new teachers know that it’s a lot to send your kid off to school every day and relinquish some control over their day, and they want your kid — and you — to have the best year possible.

So, emailing them before the first day of school? It’s not a completely inappropriate action. But there are some things to consider.

Why do you want to email your kid’s teacher?

This might be the most important question: Why do you want to email your kid’s teacher before the first day of school? Anna Hall, an elementary school teacher in North Carolina, tells Romper that she has no problem with parent communication — she encourages it — but before the first day of school is a chaotic time, and she really wants parents to consider what it is they want to talk to her about. “In general, you should’ve already met with your child’s teacher before the first day of school at an open house or even just a chat on the phone when you get their teacher assignments. So if you still need to follow up with an email, it’s worth thinking about how important this question is. Teachers get a lot of emails, and honestly, some of the things you might be anxious about and want to email the teacher for are things that are going to be solved in the first 10 minutes of the school day,” she says.

If you didn’t get a chance to attend an open house or "meet the teacher" event and just want to introduce yourself, Hall says this is a great reason to email your kid’s teacher before the first day of school. “Just a simple email saying, ‘Hi, sorry we missed the open house, our kid is so excited,’ or something similar is totally fine. You should get a response from your child’s teacher before school.”

If you have a question about the supply list, some kind of school policy or procedure, or transportation, she recommends going through all of the emails and paperwork you’ve already received from the school. “Schools are incredibly thorough — we want you to have all the information you need — so chances are the answer to your question is already available to you.”

Give your teacher a chance.

If your email is centered around something specific about your child, like your fears or worries about them in the classroom or a concern you have, Hall says it’s best to bring those up at the open house or meet-the-teacher event. “If you couldn’t chat then, dropping an email is fine, but please really think about how important it is. If the email is more focused on you sharing all of your kid’s likes and dislikes or the best ways they respond in a classroom, please just give teachers a chance. We work with kids every day. This is our literal job; let us have a chance to show you how we teach before you email us with what you need us to do.”

Hannah Turner, a high school chemistry teacher in Michigan, agrees and tells Romper that she’s had high school parents email her before the first day of school, insisting that their child is going to struggle in class and will need lots of extra credit. “I always respond with something like, ‘Thank you for this email, but please give your child and our class a chance to see how we do first!’ I’m a parent, too, so I understand wanting your kid to succeed and jumping for any chance they get, but trust your kids’ teachers.”

However, Turner says that if you have a deep concern or worry about something specific, such as a medication for your child or a food allergy, she's not going to be bothered by a reminder email. “But keep it light and easy. Please don’t assume your child’s teacher was planning on giving them a peanut butter sandwich the first day of school even though they have a nut allergy. We all have systems in our schools and classrooms for information like that, and I promise we do everything we can to keep your kids safe and healthy and happy in our classroom. Please trust us.”

Ultimately, how well-received an email to the teacher will be before the start of school depends on the teacher, the topic, and your approach. “I get emails from parents before the first day of school all the time, and most of them are a simple introduction, telling me how nice it was to meet me at Open House, and sharing that their kid is super excited. Those are lovely and have a really festive mood for back-to-school. And even better is a parent who emails me to say they’d love to help out in any way they can, or asking if they can drop off extra snacks or something for the classroom,” Hall says. “We love parent involvement, and we encourage open communication — just don’t come at us like we’re idiots who weren’t going to be able to figure out that your kindergartner is struggling to read.”

Emailing your kid’s teacher before school? Not a bad idea.

Emailing your kid’s teacher before school because you’re just sure they’re going to mess something up? Step away from the inbox.