Mother's Day

These nine things are just not good to say to a pregnant woman on Mother's Day.
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9 Things Not To Say To A Pregnant Woman On Mother’s Day

(Or any day, really.)

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Mother's Day is about one thing, and one thing only: celebrating moms, and all that they do for their kids. That includes pregnant mamas, too, because the work of raising children begins with those nine long months it takes to grow them. Moms-to-be absolutely deserve to be a part of any special festivities on the big day, but keep in mind that there are definitely some things not to say to a pregnant woman on Mother's Day — unless you want to earn yourself a permanent place on her bad side.

Pregnant women do not need to deal with people debating whether pregnant women count as moms yet on this holiday, so if opinions on their official status as a mother arise, that convo should be immediately shut down. Moms-to-be have already had to give up a lot of the joy and fanfare of this experience in the past year, like large baby showers or family and friends obsessing over their growing belly, due to COVID. And on top of planning for their newborn, they have the added anxiety of trying to keep from catching the virus during this fragile time. The last thing they need is to hear insensitive comments, and there are some things you should just never say to any pregnant woman, period. They can come across as flat out rude and seriously offensive (even if they may seem harmless enough on the surface), and those comments are even more important to avoid on a day that's supposed to be all about celebrating moms. Hey, it never hurts to be kind, especially to someone who’s doing all the work of creating another human being and everything.

If any of these comments or questions arise around a pregnant mama, just remember to stay mum (pun intended), and it'll be a happy Mother's Day indeed.


“You’re not a mom yet.”

Says who? A pregnant woman is absolutely entitled to celebrate Mother's Day just like any other mom. No woman who remembers the aches, pains, and non-stop trips to the bathroom during pregnancy could begrudge an expectant mom the opportunity to be feted, and neither should anyone else. Instead, wish the expectant mom a very happy first Mother’s Day, and leave it at that.


"Was I supposed to get you a gift?”

A pregnant mom may not have a little one in her arms just yet, but she's still doing plenty of hard work. Lugging a growing baby bump around is exhausting, especially if she's constantly feeling nauseous. She absolutely deserves a present and a little bit of pampering. Even if it’s something as simple as a handwritten note, a DoorDash meal, or a drink from her favorite coffee place, a little gesture can mean so much.


"Sleep now."

This falls into the Don't Say This Around Any Pregnant Woman, Ever category, because no one needs a reminder that they'll soon be a sleep-deprived zombie 99% of the time. Especially not when they're trying to enjoy a stress-free, peaceful Mother's Day. Plus, many pregnant people aren’t getting the best sleep anyway, so there’s no need to rub salt in the wound.


"You look huge."

Just don't say this, ever. And don't comment on whether she looks too tiny, either. There's really no need to remark on a pregnant woman's body (or any woman's body, for that matter), unless you're her doctor. A simple, “Wow, you look great!” is way better, if you feel the urge to say something on the matter.


"Are you having twins?”


This seems to be everyone's default joke when they see a pregnant woman's belly, despite it not really being amusing at all. Again, there's just no need to try and make her feel self-conscious about her size or her body. In reality, people with body issues can struggle with pregnancy, so maybe just avoid the topic entirely.


"You're still pregnant?”

If you think it seems like she's been pregnant forever, just imagine how she feels. I'm pretty confident almost all moms-to-be can tell you exactly how much longer they have left, especially if they're having a tough time of it. There’s no need to offer up a reminder, even if you just mean it as a joke.


"Can't wait until next year!”

Then don't. You should be celebrating her now because her body is working overtime to create an awesome human being. Go ahead and make today special anyway, even if it’s just by offering a compliment.


“Are you scared?”

Listen. She’s probably scared of everything right now. It’s called being a mother. She definitely doesn’t need to be reminded of the fact that she’ll be giving birth in a pandemic or that she might not be able to have a doula or that it pregnancy and childbirth are actual bodily trauma. Instead, tell her how strong she is and how great she will be at taking care of her baby, no matter what. And then tell her, “Happy Mother’s Day.”


“This is the easy part.”

Pregnancy isn't always easy. No one can ever tell just by looking at an expectant mother what struggles she might have gone through to get pregnant in the first place, or what discomforts she might be dealing with as she progresses. Instead of filling her head with horror stories about the trials and tribulations of parenthood, just invite her to relax and put her feet up. That's the gift most pregnant women want — on Mother's Day or any day.