Sometimes I sit and I watch my daughter play and the things she does seriously creep me out. Then, of course, I think back on all the things I remember doing as a kid, and realize that "creepy" is pretty "normal." Still, my forced nostalgia doesn't change the fact that I catch my little girl doing all of those quintessential
creepy things only daughters do. Perhaps this is my karma and, if that's the case, I'm so sorry, dear parents of mine. I get it now. I totally get it.
Of course, this isn't to say that boys or people's sons are creepy either because, trust me, they are. My friend's brother would take her barbies and burn them in the fireplace. I mean, he was basically Sid from
Toy Story; taking toys apart and putting them back together with different parts from different toys. However, my friend and I did some creepy things, too. I remember one birthday party in particular; we hung up her creepiest barbies on a pipe in the basement with masking tape upside down to make sure they didn't go anywhere. You guys, that's pretty freakin' creepy and I'm not all that proud but, hey, it is what it is.
At the end of the day, I think
kids in general are pretty creepy, and their assigned gender has absolutely nothing to do with it. However, rarely are little girls or daughters described as anything other than "cute" or "adorable" or "pretty," so I don't mind taking a second to outline all the creepy things my daughter does. I mean, equality, right? So, with that in mind, here are just a few things my daughter has done that have legit sent shivers down my spine. Thanks a lot, kid. Insist That Their Dogs Be (And Stay) Naked Make Up Demented Stories With Their Dolls
Angry at a sibling or a parent or some random stranger you encountered at the playground? Well, apparently this is the perfect time to vent those frustrations in by far, hands down, the creepiest way imaginable. It's no surprise that dolls offer the ability to release emotions without actually causing harm to anyone (but the doll), but still, s
ome of the stories can get pretty demented. Act Way Older Than They Actually Are...
Wait! You're only three! Stay little,
please. There's no reason to wear makeup and heels and get all fancy and dress up and speak like a full-on adult with a pension and retirement plant. Not yet. Stay a child while you still can (because, trust me, the adult world isn't all it's cracked up to be, kid). ...Or Suddenly Act Like They're The Mom
Kids learn from watching, so it makes sense that my daughter would mimic the things I do or say because, well, she sees me every day. However, you are the daughter and I am the adult and we don't get to reverse roles here, kid. Yes, there will be
moments when I listen to you and let you make your own decisions (especially as you get older) but you're not the mom. Nope. Want To Take Care Of Other Babies
I also don't think that this is odd or weird, because there's nothing bad with wanting to be nurturing and
raising a feminist daughter doesn't mean deterring your daughter from being feminine or doing whatever it is that she enjoys. However, it's kind of weird to watch your kid pretend to have a kid of their own. I mean, you're still trying to wrap your mind around the idea that your kid can move on their own or speak a few words. Taking care of another human being, even if they're not "real?" Nope. It's weird. Let's tackle your alphabet, first. Fan Girl When They Shouldn't Know What It Even Means To "Fan Girl"
You know exactly what I'm talking about. Our fan girl issues can become quite creepy at times. (I mean, we're getting dangerous close to stalking here, people.)
It's just strange that my daughter can have such a devout love for someone she's never met. Hold on, OK, this makes sense. I'm thinking back on my teenage years and, yeah, this makes sense. Carry on.
Insist They're Going To Marry A Particular Parent Or Sibling...
It's pretty normal for a kid (son or daughter) to claim that they love and will always and only marry their parents. Kids cannot comprehend the difference between romantic love and the love they feel for their family members, so it makes sense. However, it doesn't make any less creepy and weird.
...And Then Obsessively Talk About Her Future Wedding
Even though she may only be five and she's at least twenty years away from her wedding, it may be one of her focuses. It's odd that this is a thing, only because
no one is telling my daughter that she "has" to get married or that being married is the end-all-be-all of female existence. Honestly, the weirdest and creepiest part is that, well, my daughter has someone learned that a wedding is a thing she absolutely should be planning about and caring about (thanks, media). Tell A Story About A Family Member They've Never Met
How do you know?! You've literally never met this person in your life and, somehow, you are talking about them as if you were best buds (and a lot of yoru comments are super accurate). Strange. Weird. Nope.
Insist That They Know More Than You (And Then, Well, They Actually Do)
I can't stand when
people call women, and little girls, "bossy," just because they unapologetically use their voice and insert themselves in specific conversations. Just, like, no.
However, sometimes my daughter insists she knows more than I do (even though she's a toddler but, yeah, this is part for the toddler course) and it gets weird when she's right. How do you know these things?!