From his earliest moments, it was clear that my son was destined to be a badass. Just hours after birth, he pushed himself into upward facing dog pose on my chest. He fought ridiculously hard against outerwear the first few times he left our house. He's always been strong-willed and will always try to hang with the biggest kids he can find, even though he's a toddler. I'm not surprised; January babies are absolute badasses, so it only makes sense that he is, too.
No, I'm not just saying this because my baby is a January baby. After all, I have it on good authority that December babies are pretty awesome, too. (OK, I am just saying that because I’m a December baby, as are both of my best friends, my sister and my husband. The three of us legitimately are badasses, but I digress.) Babies born in January have to deal with a lot of character-building stuff, like having your birthday in the cold. That sucks, you guys. Still, they handle it like little bosses, and kinda like their the grumpy grandpa-children of their friend groups. "On our birthdays, we don't even have sunshine! We just huddle around inside, warming our cold, brittle hands by the fire of our birthday candles."
If you are or have a January baby, be grateful that they usually use their badassery for good. The ice-cold struggle that forges their character could easily have been turned to evil and spite, like using their birthday wishes to ask for rain on every summer kid's party.
They Were Born In The Cold
Assuming they inhabit temperate regions of the Northern Hemisphere, January babies are born during one of the coldest points of the year. (Cold for their respective regions, anyway. My friends in Florida say it's “cold” when it's 50 degrees and I laugh at them from the coldest depths of my bleak winter’s heart.)
They Often Have Birthday Struggles, Like Having A Birthday Party Get Cancelled Due To Snow
Having your birthday cancelled for a snow day is like a backhanded slap in the face from the gods of childhood fun. It's bad enough they can't have pool parties or things like that, but to have something that should be fun pull the plug on your birthday? Just the worst. Stuff like that will toughen a kid up like little else.
Seriously, It’s Cold
Badassery is forged out of struggle, like the struggle of being physically unable to play with your birthday presents outside because you have to have mittens on.
They’re Often Among The Most Mature Kids In Their Grades…
Because of where their birthdays fall in the calendar, January babies often end up being a little older than their classmates, which can confer a bit of an advantage in the early years.
...And Often Have An Advantage In Sports, Too
Those extra few months can give them a bit of a growth advantage that can help them on the playground and the playing field, too.
They Have A Huge Gap In Presents And Celebrations...
For January babies, the excitement of the winter holidays and their birthday come very close together, only to be followed by a painfully loooooong rest of the year until all that cheer and festivity returns. You can just see the character-forging struggle in their steely, present-deprived eyes.
...So They Have To Learn Patience
And/or how to count really high, if they dare to hazard a countdown until Christmakwanzaakkahanuary.
Also It’s Freakin’ Cold On Their Birthday
It's so cold they could see their breath when they blow out the candles on their birthday cakes, if they could have outdoor birthday parties like their easy-living summer born counterparts. But they can't, because cold. With each extra candle on their wintry cakes, they grow tougher.
They Share The Same Birth Month As Some Of History’s Greatest People
Alexander Hamilton (both the real one, born January 11, 1757, and Lin Manuel Miranda, born January 16, 1980), Martin Luther King Jr. (January 15, 1929), and Michelle Obama (January 17, 1964) are all January babies. Need I say more?
Their Mamas Are Badasses
OK, this one’s kind of a given, cause all mamas are at least a little badass. But like, being pregnant long enough (or short enough) to have a January baby requires a lot of character-building sacrifice. At best, it means living through late spring and summer with no margaritas or sangrias, plus having to survive Thanksgiving and tons of holiday parties without mulled wine, and skipping all the tasty but dubiously refrigerated foods on get-together tables from Memorial Day, past the Fourth of July, past Labor Day, past all the holidays, all the way through to (a majorly toned-down) New Year’s. The struggle is oh so real.
All that, plus having to not only brave the cold, but do so while hauling a huge pregnant belly around when all you want to do is lay in a pile of pillows and blankets? It all results in a kind of finely-honed badassery that our babies can’t help but absorb.