I am currently on bed rest, which means no sex. Yep, no sex now and probably no sex until after the baby is born and we get the OK at my six-week appointment. That's a lot of weeks without sex, you guys, so I have sex on the brain. In other words, I'm definitely spending some time thinking about the things that'll inevitably happen during that wonderful, awkward, kind of strange first attempt at sex after the six-week wait.
So, what happened? Well, the first time I had sex after my daughter was born, it was short, painful, and the baby woke up in the middle of the entire ordeal. The next time my partner and I tried to be intimate, we used lots of lube and started earlier in the evening, but I accidentally sprayed him in the eye with breast milk. Sexy AF, right? I ended up crying and feeling like crap. After my son was born, the first time my partner and I attempted postpartum sex was a disaster. I made sure the baby was fed and the 3-year-old toddler and newborn were sleeping, took time to shower and put on cute lingerie, and when I went into the bedroom I discovered that my husband was sound asleep. Grrrr. The next time we tried was pretty OK, though. No lingerie required.
Postpartum sex might feel different, might feel like a chore, or might be just plain bad. You might need some extra help, and it might feel like something you have to do. (It's not) You might have unfair expectations of yourself and your partner, too, because I know I definitely did. My advice? Take things at your own pace, communicate your needs and develop a sense of humor when things inevitably go wrong. Let's hope this time, when this bedrest is over and I have the OK to enjoy sexy time again, I take my own advice.