Once upon a time, before I ever got pregnant and before I ever had kids, I had a lot of sex. Now, by "a lot of sex," I mean I had a very healthy sexual appetite. Even with so much sex, though, I never got pregnant until my late twenties. Prior to having babies, I said a lot of smug, judgmental things about motherhood and having kids. Not only did I think I'd never have children of my own, but I thought that if I did, I would still be just as sexual. Yeah, I said a lot of stupid things about post-baby sex before I’d ever even had any.
I forgive my former self because it’s basically impossible to really know what motherhood will be like until you experience it firsthand. I was younger, sure, but I was also pretty set in my particular way of seeing things. I just shrugged off the idea of kids, but sometimes I did think about it and, when I did, I couldn't help but apply what I knew to any possible situation I could see myself in. Turns out, I didn't know a whole lot.
So much about motherhood freaked me out, but I was super judgmental about a lot of it, too. I thought that, if I became am other, I wouldn't be free to do exactly what I want, when I want (as a mother I still make time for all the important things, and my priorities have changed). I thought I would be unable to travel (yet I’ve traveled more as a mother this past year than I had in many of my childless years). I was terrified that I would become this sex-less being who wound up getting cheated on when her partner met his needs elsewhere (but that’s not been the case here, either). So what else was I wrong about when it comes to sex after motherhood? Well, just let me count the ways...