Virtually everyone who becomes a parent has a certain vision of how their life will proceed after having a kid. While wise people may warn us not to get too attached to whatever plans we make before we have kids, it's kinda hard not to. Surely, with the right research and planning, we can avoid all the pitfalls that relegated their plans to dust, right? Yeah, not really. Everyone's reality check happens sometime. Mine occurred when I tried to realize all the plans I made before co-sleeping, that went out the window pretty much immediately after my son was born.
By the time I started thinking about infant sleep arrangements, I was sleeping in a giant nest of pregnancy pillows in a desperate attempt to approximate something close to comfort, and missing the days when I used to fall asleep in my partner's arms. I was looking forward to returning to that arrangement, so naturally all of my sleeping plans revolved around not having a small person stage all-night dance parties in my bed and, instead, dozing off in their own space.
My small person had other ideas. You know that video where this cat is just knocking everything off of their human's desk? That was what my baby did to pretty much all of my sleep fantasies.
Yep, I made the same well-intentioned assumption plenty of other people make before having kids. "Well, ours won't be like that." As though we are the ones in charge of everything this child does and, if we're "good parents," everything will be perfectly smooth.
Turns out, your child gets a vote. Their vote can often translate into veto power, where things like food and sleep are concerned. I try to warn my soon-to-be parent friends about this as often as I can, though I'm sure they're all assuming I'm just a faulty parent, just like I assumed of all the people who tried to warn me. I'm so sorry, y'all. Trust me, I've paid for my hubris.
Fortunately, even though everything didn't go totally according to my plan, it still turned out well for the most part. We're all safe, we get enough sleep to function fairly well, and my partner and I find ways to have sex and do all the other stuff we hoped to do while our little guy was napping or sleeping, even if it doesn't all look exactly the way it did in my head.