I still remember the “moms” of my old friend groups; the high school friend who never (OK, rarely) gave in to the drama and the college friend who always shared snacks from her purse. These women seems tailed made for motherhood, as they seemed slightly more nurturing than the rest of us (and we loved them for it). Now that I’m a mom, I still see these women everywhere. Not the exact same women I knew in high school and college, but women with some of the same qualities and who show the signs they’re the grown-ass mom of their mom group.
If I'm being honest, I'd have to say that don’t think I’m one of these women. Maybe on a really, really good day I'll have an extra hair tie in my pocket or some spare wipes I can share with another mom in need. However, most of the time I’ve got just the basics on me; nothing more, nothing less, and I'm pretty OK with that. Hey, well all have our role to play, right?
So, I very much appreciate the other moms who are more ahead of the game. I’m learning from them. I’m relying on them. I’m inspired by them. I’m especially impressed when they cook something delicious and homemade for the potluck I most definitely went to the grocery store and bought pre-made food for. So, if you're looking for one of those mom's to befriend, be on the look out for the following signs you're in the presence of a grown-ass mom (or, you know, that you're actually the grown-ass mom of the group):
People Are Constantly Asking You For Advice
Whether it’s about how you discipline your kiddos so smoothly and confidently, or where you get your hair done, or how you manage to arrive on time to places on a regular basis, your friends know you will have answers. You won't see people hesitating to ask any and all questions, because they know you’ll be kind and generous with your responses, too, like the grown-ass mom that you are.
Everyone Just Assumes The Next Playdate Will Be At Your House, Since You Always Plan
Of course, you’re totally fine with it. In fact, you're cool, calm, and collected while the rest of us would be freaking out at the thought of five kids and their parents seeing the Legos and cookie crumbs strewn about our living room.
Friends Are In Awe Over The Lack Of Stains On Your Clothes
It speaks to both your skills in the laundry room, as well as your ability to manage your kid when they have peanut butter on their fingers. You know, things that the rest of us are still perfecting.
Friends Are In Awe Over The Lack Of Stains On Your Kids’ Clothes
What are you, some kind of wizard? Do you keep them in full body bibs until the moment you leave the house? What is the secret?
You’re Rarely (If Ever) Late
And of course, while you’re waiting for the rest of us you manage to make a few phone calls and check more things off your to-do list, which only adds to your aura of maturity and productivity.
You Don’t Need To Scramble And Clean Up Your House (Or Yourself) When People Stop By
It’s inspirational, really. Someday, I too hope to be in a perpetual state of readiness for Oprah or the president to stop by. Until then, I'll celebrate each (infrequent) shower I manage to take.
The Idea Of A Girl's Night Or A Date Night Doesn’t Make You Feel Desperate
Sure, you look forward to them, but you don’t need them like the rest of us need them, which is on par with oxygen and WiFi. You manage to squeeze in self-care during your downtime, so you’re all good in that category.
You Keep A Planner
Not only do you keep one, it’s up-to-date and easy to decipher (and probably color-coded, you over-achiever, you).
The Laundry Piles In Your Home Are Not As Tall As The People Who Live There
Even the toddlers don't have anything to trip over.
You Don’t Apologize For Being Out Of Touch Every Time You See Friends
You’re actually not that out of touch. You manage to check in and keep up with your close friends on a semi-regular basis, so you don’t feel the need to mention it like many of us do.
You’re Good At Reserving Judgment When It Comes To Other Mom’s Choices Or Struggles
A grown-ass mom knows that no mom’s perfect, and every mom’s doing her best. When you see a mom doing something you wouldn’t do, you don’t even bat an eye (as long as the kid’s safe, of course).
You’re Constantly Invited To Join Moms Groups And School Committees And To Be A Part Of Various Other Activities
People know you have your sh*t together, and they like having you around. That’s, unfortunately, the price to pay when you’re a total boss at motherhood.