Arguably the scariest thing about becoming a mom is realizing that from that point on, all of your friendships will change. You'll take stock of your friendships and, sadly, realize some of them will end. A few friends will grow distant because you will grow distant yourself. Not everyone friend will understand why you can’t make every event. Your close circle will evolve to include more friends who are also moms. And just like there are certain types of friends non-parents need, there are also certain types of mom friends you need when you have kids yourself.
Think about what your friendships were like prior to reproducing. You probably had a friend who was a great listener, who you could turn to after a breakup or when family life got rough. You also probably had a friend who kept you on task; your best "study buddy" who helped you get through college. Maybe you had a friend who was always funny and always cracking jokes, who helped you forget about life for a while. I'm sure you had that mess of a friend who may not have always had their life together, but were always there to support you when you didn't have your life together, either.
Well, now that you're a mother you’ll also need these types of friends, the types just change a bit. Sure, sometimes friends are a bit harder to make than when you were in, say, high school or college and so close to one another in both space and life choices. However, what you need from a friendship really doesn't change too much. You’ll see what I mean as you go through this list.
The One Who’s Always Down To Party
Sometimes motherhood gets a bit tedious. You want to go out and have a good night, but most of your mom friends are putting their kids to bed, and your non-kid-having friends want to stay out till five in the morning. Cue the Mom Who’s Always Down To Party. She has a sitter (or a spouse) who can always keep an eye on the kids, and she always knows where to find a ladies night nearby.
The One Who’s Down To Share Motherhood War Stories
Moms need someone to commiserate with. It can be rough to go it alone and have no one to tell about the time your kid blew their boogers all over your favorite shirt and you didn’t notice for hours but wondered why folks kept looking at you funny. You'll definitely experience a few-too-many moments when you simply need to bitch to someone about antiquated gender roles, but when you bring it up at the playground the other moms look at you like you’re growing an extra head out of your torso. Don’t worry. This mom listens, shares stories, and listens some more.
The One Who Will Watch Your Kids In A Pinch
Some mom-friends are just awesome this way. They understand that sitters can flake at the last minute, or that you’re terrified of leaving your kid with a stranger. They know you there are moments when you really, seriously need a date night and, as a result, their house is always open to additional children.
The Overly-Prepared Mom Who Saves The Day
Did your kid spill grape juice over their little sister’s baptism dress? Did your oldest forget their science project is due the next day but they don’t have any supplies? Did the baker mess up the birthday cake? This mom will totally know what to do. You need a well-prepared mama by your side for emergencies.
The One Whose House Is Even Messier Than Your Own
It’s hard when most of your mom-friends have well-vacuumed homes with spotless kitchens. It makes you wonder what the hell it is you’re doing wrong. But it’s cool, cause your friend Lana will always have a messy-ass house that you love hanging out in and it reminds you that hey, it’s OK to just be human.
The Uber-Crunchy Mama
Who else is going to keep you posted on all the baby food recalls or what websites are having great baby wrap sales? The crunchy mom is also a fountain of knowledge for natural remedies, especially useful when the pharmacies are closed. Plus she usually has delicious and healthy snacks you’d otherwise never have.
The One Who’s Got It All And Is Still Cool
We all need someone to aspire to. This is that friend. She started her own business and looks amazing in a power suit and heels (or whatever other business attire she rocks). She always makes it to her kid’s soccer games or cello practice and manages to make the damn bake sale brownies. She’s got a dope house, a baller ride, and her partner is ridiculously good looking and you wonder if these people are even real.
OK, so maybe she isn’t perfect and doesn’t always have her shit together, but she’s still kicking more ass than most of us. Some folks just have a streak of good luck, or had a few helping hands along the way. It’s nice to see a successful mom who hasn’t let it get to her head.
The One Who Is Down To Talk About Anything BUT Being A Mom
We all need a break from the "kid talk," and it’s hard because that’s the first thing moms do (usually) when they get together. Cue the mom friend who’s just kind of over it. She wants to talk about the book she’s reading or the restaurant she just went to or the exhibit she just saw and thank goodness.
The One Who’s Been There, Done That, And Always Has Good Advice
This is frequently the mom who’s had a few more kids than you do, and who has been at it for some time. She knows how to get that toy out of your kid’s nose. She knows how to tell if a kid forged a test grade. She sees all and knows all and you have so much to learn from her.
The Well-Connected, Well-Informed Mom
Some moms just always know where to go and what to do. They’ve got season passes to the theme parks and they’re friends with the librarians and they keep you up to date on where the next pumpkin patch or carnival is taking place. This extremely organized mom is your social planner and quite frankly, a goddess-send.
The Crafty Pinterest-Addicted Mom
She hosts all the best birthday and holiday parties and without her, you’d never take any cute themed photos with your kids. She’s the one that’ll teach you how to make bento box lunches or cute cake pops and she makes all gifts by hand. You wonder where she gets the energy or creativity, but then you stop questioning it because some mysteries are better left unsolved.
The Hella-Chill Mama
We all need a friend to keep us grounded. A friend who reminds us again why we got into this mess we call motherhood. Who knows a few relaxation techniques we wouldn’t otherwise try because we’re so tightly wound-up.
Thank you, super-chill, hippie mom-friend for reminding us about the good things in life, like yoga.
The One Who Your Kid(s) Totally Love
Finally, you need a mom-friend who your kids always get along with. They’ll never complain about going over to her place to watch television or eat pizza or play on her playground or run around with their dog. She makes life easier for all that way and will probably become your true mom BFF.