Among the vast range of experiences pregnancy offers, few are more diversely described than the subject of pregnancy sex. "It's amazing!" "It's terrible!" "We humped like rabbits!" "We humped like amoebas, which reproduce asexually, which is to say we didn't hump at all!" "I felt like a sex goddess!" "I felt like a dog fart!" "My partner couldn't keep their hands off me!" "My partner had to be bribed to look at me naked because they have hangups about maternal sexuality." So what's true? I had moms describe what pregnancy sex is like to clear this up.
Except, and of course, nothing gets cleared up because pregnancy sex is just like regular sex: it's different for everyone. So, yeah, that opening paragraph tricked you all (I'm sure). Nothing gets resolved, so you all shall remain in a state of ignorant limbo forever.
Then again, Women talking to other woman honestly about intimate issues is an excellent way to help navigate our own experiences. While there are no universals, there are a lot of common themes. Hearing someone else talk about what they went through can encourage you to speak to a professional when you otherwise wouldn't have, or not feel guilty for feeling great when everyone else tells you you should be feeling crappy, or just having the pleasure of a juicy conversation with your gals (a pleasure that, seriously, cannot be overstated).
So what does getting down look like when you're staring down the barrel of parenthood? It turns out, according to the following women, it depends:
"Much better by myself! Having a belly in the way and legs needing to be lifted in certain positions is challenging. And when the baby is taking up lung space, just having the ability to breathe while doing the deed was a challenge."
"I felt like my insides were at max capacity and that there wasn't even room for a pinky finger to fit! Very uncomfortable. Needless to say, we rarely had sex whenever I was pregnant."
Sex was so much better for me while pregnant! I wanted it all the time, once I got past the constant sickness.
"Lots of feeling, erm, 'on top' of the world. And actually...amazing. Best sex of my life. The last pregnancy sex I had resulted in the break of my water roughly four hours later."
"We actually really enjoyed pregnant sex, even with twins. We also made a promise to at least try once every two weeks (more often early on) for him and our relationship just at least be intimate even if we didn't have sex. It worked we had sex up until the week I delivered with both pregnancies."
Unthinkable. I was so sick and uncomfortable and exhausted. During two pregnancies we had sex maybe three times total? I felt terrible for my husband, but not terrible enough to have sex! Besides, I had awesome pregnant sex dreams.
"Awkward, sweaty, smelly, awkward."
"It was pretty good through 32-34 weeks, then it was way too difficult with the belly and having to lift legs, be propped up, etc. Getting past the sick stage was key, because I didn't want anything near me, let alone near me down there. The weirdest thing was afterwards, how misshapen my belly would be since the baby clearly wanted to move away from whatever was going on over there!"
All business. Uncomfortable quickies or due date sex to try and evict the little human.
"I thought it was going to be so, so awesome (I happen to think pregnant women are really sexy and so does my partner) but it was awkward and uncomfortable. When my partner went down on me it was really unsettling, because I couldn't see their head."
"I feel like we are having more sex now that I am pregnant than before. When we were trying for our second, there was more pressure to get it right that it was not much fun. Now, when we have it, it's incredibly enjoyable for both my husband and me. I'm sure the further along I get it will become more of a challenge, as I remember just not being interested towards the end with our first. For now though, all good!"
Propped up on pillows, O's better than usual, difficulty breathing later on, and used as an eviction method.
"I actually took a pregnancy test because sex the previous night felt so terrible and a friend suggested maybe I was pregnant. She was right. That was the last time I actually completed a sex act until weeks after my baby was born. It's not an entirely sad story, though, because nowadays I'm having the best sex of my life (and I've had a lot of sex). It's like the Universe was like, 'Sorry. I owe you one.'"