The third trimester of pregnancy is not the best, by a long shot. That honor belongs to the second trimester, when (if you're lucky) all the worst symptoms of pregnancy subside just as you become visibly pregnant, yet not so pregnant that you're horribly uncomfortable. while the third trimester has its advantages — especially over the nauseating, so-far-from-the-finish-line first trimester — it will still do its best to kick your ass. There are multiple signs you're kicking the third trimester’s ass instead, though, so it’s possible (and if any of the items below are familiar, count yourself successful).
For me, the third trimester was among the longest, most absurdly emotional three (more or less) months of my life. I was often incredibly uncomfortable, and literally everything made me cry (including a misspelled label on a package of chicken at our neighborhood market). I felt totally unwieldy, with a belly full of the most active kid I'd ever encountered, constantly waddling to the bathroom or tossing and turning during my frequently unsuccessful attempts to rest.
Still, I was so excited by the fact that I was -- according to the calendar, if nothing else -- getting ever closer to meeting my baby boy. I also had hit something of a pregnant groove, and not just the one in my mattress. I had several favorite craving spots that I could always count on for free food, an A+ pillow fort on my side of the bed, and several dresses that made me feel like the life-giving land goddess I was. If any of these scenarios are familiar to you, then pat yourself on the back (or get some else to, if that stretch annoys your body in any way). The following are sure signs that you're totally crushing this third trimester thing.
Shoes Are No Longer Your Responsibility…
For occasions when slip-ons won't work, friends and partners who can help you put shoes on are indispensable.
...Or Anything That Falls On The Floor
It takes a village... to keep the space around a pregnant lady's feet clean once she stops being able to bend easily.
Your Bed Is Consumed By A Giant Nest Of Pillows
Sorry, partners displaced by pregnancy pillows, but it's the only way.
You Nap Whenever Possible
It's not just the making of another person that's hard work, but also the lugging around of said person, and the trying to sleep with said person throwing dance parties in your belly.
You've Become A Connoisseur Of Various Fetal Movements…
Other folks might ask you about baby kicking, but you know they're doing way more than that, from hiccups to flips, rolls, and more.
…And Know Your Baby-To-Be’s Daily Routine
That's both amusing and useful. If you know when baby is supposed to be active, you can let your care provider know if they're unexpectedly inactive.
Your Favorite Food Spots Recognize You By Voice *And* Face
Bonus if you get freebies, too.
You’ve Freaked Out At Least One Close Friend Or Family Member With Your Belly Movements
Late pregnancy is very Alien sometimes.
You Have At Least One Belly-Hugging Outfit That Makes You Feel Like A Million Bucks
If you got it, flaunt it.
People’s Eyes Widen As They See You Doing Some Of Your Favorite Activities
In almost every dance class I took during my last days of pregnancy, people looked at me like they thought I was about to explode. If you're still out there doing your thing despite being massively pregnant, you're definitely kicking the third trimester’s ass.
You Have Cutting Privileges In Every Bathroom Line
No questions asked, especially once they look at that belly.
You've Got All Your Stuff Ready For The Big Day…
Your hospital/birth center bag is packed (or your birth kit prepped, if you're birthing at home), baby’s furniture is set up, little clothes are washed and put away, and you maybe even have some freezer meals tucked away.
...Even If That Day Feels Like It May Never Come
The last weeks of pregnancy take at least twice as long as normal weeks. Still, if you're forging ahead with baby and postpartum preparations even though your due date seems to get further away instead of closer, you're crushing it. (At least, as long as you don't crush any of the people constantly asking if the baby has come yet.)