16 Moms Share The One Thing They Wish They Heard From Their Mom Friends

Ad failed to load

Have you ever sat around a table of other moms, discussing sleep training methods or what your kids are eating and thought, "I would give anything for us to keep it a little bit more real. No filters, no holds bar. Let's talk about what motherhood is really like." Sometimes we are lucky enough to have another mom (or, if you're really lucky, moms) with whom you can lower the Perfect Mom mask. But, based on my conversation with countless parents, it seem like there's usually at least one thing they wish they heard from their mom friends.

The internet has, in my opinion, been the best and worst thing to happen to moms and motherhood in the last 20 years. Let's start with the bad news: self-selected social media have often portrayed only the aspects of motherhood that are "post-worthy." The relative anonymity of online culture, that enables people not to have to face the people they're interacting with, can often add fuel to "the Mommy Wars" and get everyone all riled up. A million websites can provide so much information, often contradictory, that we don't know what to think. Ugh.

Now for the good news: even if there's a lot of bad information at your fingertips, that doesn't change the fact that there is also a wealth of good information at your fingertips, too. Social media, overly-rosy though it may sometimes be, can provide a community for otherwise isolated moms (and a lot of moms can often be quiet isolated). And that same anonymity/reality barrier that emboldens obnoxious behavior can free people of the social restraints that make us hold our tongues in "polite conversation," usually due to a fear that we'll be judged. Sometimes those are just the things we all really want to hear. So I went to the internet to ask some of my mom friends what they want to hear from one another.

Ad failed to load



"'It's OK!' when having to cancel, no matter how last minute. It doesn't matter if it is one month in or five years in: the last thing you need on top of mom guilt is friend guilt. Sometimes putting on pants and leaving the house really is asking too much, and a friend who gets that is priceless."


"Something one of my best friends actually told me just last week when I messaged her weird questions: 'Fake friends talk about sex. Real friends talk about poop.' It made me laugh out loud. Best thing for a worried mommy."


That it's f*cking hard, and that's OK. You're not failing if you think it's hard.
Ad failed to load



"'Me too. Trust me, that's normal.' Like, for anything and everything."


"Nursing can be really hard and it might take a long time until you both learn what you are doing. And that's OK."


Most of us don't have it together. Screw Pinterest! You just do the best you can do and that will be enough.
Ad failed to load



"That the whole working versus stay-at-home mom thing is dumb and all of our middle class kids in the us are going to be spoiled as hell anyway, so instead of worrying about whether picking up my kid at 5:00 versus 5:30 will scar them for life, I should find a real problem — like how to save up money to hire a babysitter for as many girls' nights as possible."


"'I always love my child, but I don't always like my child.' I can't be the only one, right?"


I'm coming over to see the baby ... and I'm bringing a bottle of vodka.
Ad failed to load



"'Pretty much everyone pees a little when they sneeze.' I know it's true, I just want to hear it. In person!"


"I tell new moms not to lose their identity. I wish someone told me to not just be so-and-so's mom, but still know my own self, what I like, what I don't like, and do things for myself without guilt. Don't sell yourself short, you are doing a good job if you are trying your best. So take that weekend away or the trip to the grocery store alone and enjoy it."


I'll babysit!
Ad failed to load



"I didn't love my baby right away, either. But that doesn't mean I don't love them now or that I'm not a good mom."


"'I haven't done my dishes in a week.' Ahhh... judgement free friends!"


'Let's all agree not to worry about losing the baby weight.' Could we all make a pact?!
Ad failed to load



"Nobody is going to fit the cookie cutter idea of what makes a good mom and nobody actually wants to. It's just another way we're trained to judge one another."

Ad failed to load
Must Reads

Being A Dog Parent Prepared Me For Having A Baby, Really

I’ve always wanted kids; I was never as sure about raising a puppy. Then I spent six months living with someone who brought home an eight-week-old golden retriever puppy, and I see no way to make it out of that experience claiming not to love dogs. I…
By Heather Caplan

20 Of The Most Popular Unisex Names Of All Time, That You'll Be Hearing More Of For Sure

You might think of unisex names as a fairly recent trend, but the truth is these versatile monikers have been commonly used throughout history (well, some more commonly than others). That's why the team over at Names.org recently compiled a list of t…
By Jacqueline Burt Cote

How To Have A Date Night With No Babysitter, Because It's Easier Than You Think

After having children, many couples feel that their love lives immediately go out the window, but it's so important to make your romantic life a priority so both you and your partner can be the best versions of yourselves you can be. As we all know, …
By Abi Berwager Schreier

9 Ways Baby No. 3 Made My Family Feel Complete

My husband and I decided to have another baby right after we got married and, well, we had no idea what we were getting into. I got pregnant right away, endured a high-risk pregnancy, and, before I knew it, my third baby had arrived. Together, we emb…
By Steph Montgomery

8 Stereotypes About New Dads That Are *Totally* True

Much like new mothers, new fathers have a lot on their plate. Parenting can be scary and complex, especially at first and regardless of your gender. People want to do right by their kids, after all. And since all new parents are a hot mess, dads are …
By Priscilla Blossom

8 Differences Between Being Pregnant In Your 20s Vs 30s, According To Science

Whether you're planning a pregnancy, or just thinking about your future family, it's typical to think about things like child-spacing, how many kids you want, and when to start trying to conceive. When making your pro/con list, you might also conside…
By Steph Montgomery

16 Moms Share Remedies For Their Most Intense Chocolate Cravings During Pregnancy

For better or worse, pregnancy is usually synonymous with odd cravings. Sure, there are the stereotypical combos like pickles and ice cream that plague gestating women the world over, but there are other mind-boggling combinations, too, including but…
By Candace Ganger

Putting Sunscreen On Your Kid Doesn't Have To Be A Fight — Here's How To Do It

I am almost translucent, so me and sunscreen are basically besties at this point. Even though my children are beautifully deep brown thanks to my husband's genetics, I still slather them like biscuits being buttered because I refuse to take risks wit…
By Cat Bowen

7 Things A Mom Really Means When She Says She Doesn't Want Anything On Mother's Day

Every year my family asks me what I want for Mother's Day, and every single year I tell them the same thing: Nothing. So, by now, they know that when I say "nothing" I absolutely do not mean "nothing." In fact, there are more than a few things a mom …
By Candace Ganger

19 Moms Share The Way They Cured Their Pregnancy Comfort Food Cravings

I was obnoxiously sick during the first trimester with, "lucky" for me, both of my pregnancies. For the first three months I lived on saltines, lemonade, and fresh bread. Once I was able to eat, however, all I wanted was savory and sweet comfort food…
By Dina Leygerman

8 Fascinating Facts About Babies Born In May, The Luckiest Month Of All

The height of all things fresh and springy, May is an excellent month to have a baby. It's a time of growth, graduations, and outdoor celebrations. And these fascinating facts about May babies will give you more reasons than ever to appreciate childr…
By Lindsay E. Mack

I Used To Judge Formula-Feeding Moms — Until I Became One

The other patrons in the hip Brooklyn restaurant probably couldn’t care less what I was feeding my baby, but I’ll always remember the shame I felt as I quickly mixed up his bottle of formula in front of them. I admitted to my childless friend that I …
By Katherine Martinelli

7 White Lies It’s Necessary To Tell To Keep Your Relationship Healthy

Telling lots of lies typically isn't associated with a healthy, strong, lasting relationship, and that's still certainly true, but not all lies are exactly the same. Though you've probably heard from someone at least once or twice that the lie they t…
By Lauren Schumacker

The Skinny Jeans That Saved Me Postpartum

Accepting my post-pregnancy body is hands-down one of the most difficult things I’ve ever done. It’s something that I still work on every single day. During my first pregnancy, I was 20 years old, so I managed to bounce back quickly. In fact, I dropp…
By Allison Cooper

7 Ways Your Baby Is Trying To Say They Feel Safe

In those first weeks of new motherhood, it can feel like you need an interpreter for your newborn. With their limited means of communication, figuring out what message your baby is trying to get across to you can be a challenge. With time, however, y…
By Kimmie Fink

Here's Why Dogs Are Obsessed With Babies' Poop, According To Science

Most family dogs seem to understand babies, and they're more than happy to make friends with the newest member of the pack. It's adorable... for the most part and until you go to change your little one's diaper. Suddenly, you're wondering why dogs ar…
By Lindsay E. Mack

6 Signs You're Meant To Have A Big Age Gap Between Kids

There's a five year age difference between my two children, to the day. Their age gap wasn't planned but, for a variety of reasons, works well for our family. And since I was so focused on having a second baby, I totally overlooked the signs that wou…
By Candace Ganger

13 Unique (& Totally Not Mainstream) Mother's Day Gifts For The Hipster Mom

Hipsters thrive on being outside the norm and not really digging anything considered "mainstream." Whether it's in their fashion, what music they listen to, the books they read, or how they enjoy beverages, there's just something that makes them dist…
By Abi Berwager Schreier

Here's How To Introduce Your Pet To Your Baby & Make Everything As Calm As Possible

Our home, which we lovingly refer to as “the funny farm,” is filled with four-legged family members. We have two crazy beagles and two cat jerks, and boy are they loved and spoiled. (As they should be.) But we are now finally having a baby of our own…
By Abi Berwager Schreier

Here's The Right Birth Method For You, According To Your Zodiac Sign

If you're pregnant, you've probably given childbirth some serious thought. Some moms-to-be prepare a meticulous birth plan, while others are comfortable just going with the flow. And me? Well, I made a plan... but that plan was useless when faced wit…
By Steph Montgomery

My Dog Knew I Was Pregnant Before My Family Did

Growing up, I was 100 percent sure I'd be a mom one day. To a dog, that is. My baby plans came later. And once my husband and I were sure we wanted both a dog and a baby, we'd add to our joint dog-and-baby name list over Sunday brunch or on date nigh…
By Melissa Mills