23 Moms Share The Most Disgusting Moments of Breastfeeding

Ad failed to load

I spend a lot of my time explaining, defending, and promoting (to those who are so inclined) breastfeeding. It's healthy! It's beautiful! It's a wonderful way to feed your child on the cheap! But it's also a body function, and while bodies are wonderful and awe-inspiring they're also gross. So I asked moms to share their most disgusting breastfeeding moments, because the world needs to know that nursing isn't just gazing lovingly into your baby's eyes.

Now, let me tell you something about moms: we're gross. We're not personally gross, but even during the first few days of motherhood we realize we need the iron stomachs of grizzled, War War II field doctors. All moms have to deal with body fluids (unless they pay someone else to handle said fluids, in which case, I salute and envy you), but breastfeeding moms have one more aspect of their parenting lives to deal with that can make life, well, wetter. And let's not forget that breastfeeding is one of those body functions that tends to beget more body functions and fluids, including but certainly not limited to: pee, poop, spit-up, and, in dire situations, bleeding and pus. (Yeah, mastitis is no joke, folks.)

Now, I don't want to be accused of discouraging people from nursing. So please let me assure you, once again, that I encourage all moms, in the least pushy way possible, to breastfeed if you want! I loved it! It's great! And most of the time (especially once you get the hang of it) it's not a huge deal. But what I'm even more interested in promoting is women speaking their truth and sharing their experiences. Turns out, some of my fellow nursing moms' experience are... gristly.

Ad failed to load



"My middle child decided at 3-weeks-old that he was going to projectile vomit on me after every feed for a solid six weeks straight. I became so adept at managing it (because I was horrified trying to clean my mattress the first time) that I figured out how to catch it all in my shirt and dump it down the toilet without it ever touching a piece of furniture or linen. Of course, I was disgusting... and then there was that one time I ended up vomiting too because it smelled so bad."


"Undiagnosed postpartum anxiety/depression had my stomach in rough shape. I never wanted to eat, and I was always on the toilet because of nerves. I was breastfeeding my newborn in the middle of the night and had to rush to the bathroom. I continued nursing while having explosive diarrhea. So glamorous!"



"When your baby sleeps too long and your breasts feel like legit concrete blocks. It's like the mafia is trying to weigh you down under water."

Ad failed to load


"Clogged ducts are pretty common with breastfeeding. Once when I was pumping the clog came out and was actually thick stringy milk, like the texture of the scum that forms on the top of water when you boil pasta and let it cool. Another time the clog cleared while my son was nursing and he gagged on the instant faster flow, stopped, and spit (part of) the clog out."



"That moment when you look down through the pump shields and see your beautiful nipples being stretched three inches long to force the milk out."


"At my first postpartum appointment with my first they put me in a paper gown. Seriously, who puts a nursing mom in paper?! To make matters worse, I was a nursing mom with an overproduction. I was trying everything I could to hold the nursing pads with no bra and the baby while waiting for the doctor to arrive... and [my son] had a blowout. Poop everywhere. So I dropped the pads to clean up the poop that was all over me and him and, of course, the faucet turned on and in comes the doctor. Definitely one of my grossest nursing moments."

Ad failed to load



"Looking down to see your little one unlatch with blood dripping from the corners of her mouth from your cracked nipples, like a little vampire, then puking blood specks up later. Doctor just says 'that’s normal.' Super fun."


"That time when I was nursing my girl in a restaurant discreetly and she paused, burped, and then spewed all over me, the people behind us, and herself. I had not brought a change of clothes for myself, and it was a restaurant we went to on a weekly basis. I spent the rest of the time hiding in the bathroom because my in laws had just started eating their dinner and didn’t want to leave."



"I had to use a nipple shield and my baby's suck got so strong that my nipple would reach the end and the holes would make my nipple look like a lego. It hurt!"

Ad failed to load


"Mastitis. I was convinced I couldn’t go to the hospital (it was a Sunday) because the 4-day-old baby would get ill. My left boob was the size of my effing head. It was agony, I had fever and chills and still have no clue how I managed. My pump wouldn’t work as I was too engorged. I sent my 14-year-old son to the pharmacy to get a hand pump. That and hot packs and feeding cleared it over a couple of days. To this day that boob is almost two cup sizes bigger."



"My daughter likes to grab hold and help things out. She has dragon talons that cannot be tamed by clippers or a nail file. My breasts get scratched and gouged. It looks like I have a terrible skin condition/ disease with breastfeeding sores. It's gross."


"I got a professional massage and my breasts had leaked so much that the entire top half of the bed was soaking wet and I was dying inside when I had to turn from stomach to back, praying he didn't touch the sheet near my chest. I wonder WTF he thought after I left and the sheets were soaked."

Ad failed to load



"I remember my son spitting up down my shirt. It was the worst feeling ever and most of the time I had to just wipe it away with whatever was nearby and let [my son] fall back to sleep. Sometimes I remembered and showered the next day and sometimes I would forget until I could smell sour milk."


"When I was nursing my 3-week-old in the ring sling on Halloween ... our neighbor had to run over to meet the baby. Little did we know he’d be startled and would unlatch mid-letdown. I was spraying breast milk everywhere. And when I say everywhere I mean everywhere. It was all over me, the baby, my neighbor's shirt, her hair, and in her mouth."



"When my youngest was about 1 he was obsessed with dog food. He was always. In. The. Dog. Food. [It got] on his 'lovey,' on the the palm of his hand, on a blanket, on a pillow, on my nose... I couldn’t figure out why he smelled so bad and I gagged every time he tried to rub his hand on my face!"

Ad failed to load


"Baby wasn’t feeling well so I had her in just a diaper while she comfort-nursed in the middle of the night. She stayed latched but stopped sucking so I assumed she’d fallen asleep. Nope. One grunt later and I have a lap full of poo. Mustardy yellow breast milk poo."



"I was about five days postpartum, wearing those little 'cup' things over my nipples to collect any leakage. Friends without kids were coming over to visit me and the baby and I was so excited to see them... made coffee, set out treats to eat... everyone sat down on the couch and I leaned over the coffee table to serve their drinks and my cups were so filled that when I bent over, a full-on waterfall of breast milk poured all over the snack plate. I was the last to notice. The polite horror on their faces."


"I was six days postpartum and my daughter had been a cluster feeding champ. I had scabs on my nipples because it was non-stop. My grandma had just died and I drove to the hospital to be with my family in her hospital room. We were all gathered in a circle in prayer when my baby started coughing and choking so naturally everyone looks up at me. She then threw up all over my shirt and in the middle of the spit up is a big scab that she had sucked off my nipple. My little sister next to me pointed it out to everyone in the room."

Ad failed to load



"One time I had a huge clog that I could not get out with pumping, baby nursing, or anything! So... I asked my husband to suck as hard as he could and it shot to the back of his throat and made him gag! The things we do for love."


"My husband had a [horrible] boss (Mr. F). In an attempt to smooth some [stuff] over with me, he took me to lunch one day. I had the baby with me, who of course started crying. I went to nurse the baby, sitting directly across the table from Mr. F, latched him on.... and then, when I let down like crazy, baby pulled off my boob and unleashed a fire hose of breast milk on Mr. F."



"My hands-free pumping bra was disgusting: stained yellow and crunchy from dried breast milk. I exclusively pumped and never had time to wash that sh*t. It never occurred to me to buy another one!"

Ad failed to load


"My first son was really bad at breastfeeding. He didn't even figure it out at all until he was about 10-weeks-old. At that point, he adopted the 'lick and catch' method. Basically, he would play at my breast until I let down and then desperately try to 'catch' the stream of milk and swallow. He was so loud with this second part that people kept looking to see what he was doing. Then he would see they were paying attention to him and stop catching to flirt, leaving him with a face full of milk. Every. Time. I had to nurse him holding a cloth to stop the flow when he got distracted. I was constantly sticky and smelled of milk."



"Mine isn't really a horror story but one of revenge. I don't do well on no sleep. Like, I'm a different person and not really functional. With all my kids I would wake up and find my husband snoring away, loud as f*ck as I was trying to be calm and feed my baby (sometimes babies, because twins). I decided if he couldn't wake up with me sometimes that f*cker was going to get some breast milk in his open, snoring mouth. I would literally sit there and try to squirt milk in his mouth. It got everywhere often and he would wake up all startled and be like, 'Whats wrong? You OK?' And I'd be lik, 'Yeah, why?' Meanwhile I would think: 'Sleep I dare you. Does your mouth taste funny?'"

Writer's note: Not all heroes wear capes, folks.

Check out Romper's new video series, Bearing The Motherload, where disagreeing parents from different sides of an issue sit down with a mediator and talk about how to support (and not judge) each other’s parenting perspectives. New episodes air Mondays on Facebook.

Ad failed to load
Must Reads

The Entire Family Can Enjoy These Movies & Shows Coming To Netflix In June

It's just one of those sad facts of life: every month, shows and movies vanish from Netflix, their varied excitements no longer at your fingertips. But luckily the streaming service is always prepared to fill that content void with lots of new things…
By Megan Walsh

The Reason Why Babies Smile At You Will Seriously Make You Smile

Whether you're currently the recipient of your own baby's sweet smiles or you just seem to be a magnet for baby grins in general, you might find yourself wondering why babies are always smiling at you. Sure, you could be a 'smile whisperer' but scien…
By Kate Miller

8 Ways Your Baby Is Trying To Say That, Yes, You Are Their Favorite

For a baby to show a preference for a specific person is not only normal, but an essential part of their development. Babies need to form strong attachments to their caregivers for their emotional, social, and physical wellbeing. Usually, but not alw…
By Kimmie Fink

10 Reasons Why I Won't Apologize For Giving My Toddler A Pacifier

My first child had no interest in a pacifier. I tried a couple times to get him to take one, but he always spat them out and gave me an incredulous, judgmental look. But my second? It was love at first suckle. And after a while, the incredulous, judg…
By Jamie Kenney

Being A Dog Parent Prepared Me For Having A Baby, Really

I’ve always wanted kids; I was never as sure about raising a puppy. Then I spent six months living with someone who brought home an eight-week-old golden retriever puppy, and I see no way to make it out of that experience claiming not to love dogs. I…
By Heather Caplan

20 Of The Most Popular Unisex Names Of All Time, That You'll Be Hearing More Of For Sure

You might think of unisex names as a fairly recent trend, but the truth is these versatile monikers have been commonly used throughout history (well, some more commonly than others). That's why the team over at recently compiled a list of t…
By Jacqueline Burt Cote

How To Have A Date Night With No Babysitter, Because It's Easier Than You Think

After having children, many couples feel that their love lives immediately go out the window, but it's so important to make your romantic life a priority so both you and your partner can be the best versions of yourselves you can be. As we all know, …
By Abi Berwager Schreier

9 Ways Baby No. 3 Made My Family Feel Complete

My husband and I decided to have another baby right after we got married and, well, we had no idea what we were getting into. I got pregnant right away, endured a high-risk pregnancy, and, before I knew it, my third baby had arrived. Together, we emb…
By Steph Montgomery

8 Stereotypes About New Dads That Are *Totally* True

Much like new mothers, new fathers have a lot on their plate. Parenting can be scary and complex, especially at first and regardless of your gender. People want to do right by their kids, after all. And since all new parents are a hot mess, dads are …
By Priscilla Blossom

8 Differences Between Being Pregnant In Your 20s Vs 30s, According To Science

Whether you're planning a pregnancy, or just thinking about your future family, it's typical to think about things like child-spacing, how many kids you want, and when to start trying to conceive. When making your pro/con list, you might also conside…
By Steph Montgomery

16 Moms Share Remedies For Their Most Intense Chocolate Cravings During Pregnancy

For better or worse, pregnancy is usually synonymous with odd cravings. Sure, there are the stereotypical combos like pickles and ice cream that plague gestating women the world over, but there are other mind-boggling combinations, too, including but…
By Candace Ganger

Putting Sunscreen On Your Kid Doesn't Have To Be A Fight — Here's How To Do It

I am almost translucent, so me and sunscreen are basically besties at this point. Even though my children are beautifully deep brown thanks to my husband's genetics, I still slather them like biscuits being buttered because I refuse to take risks wit…
By Cat Bowen

19 Moms Share The Way They Cured Their Pregnancy Comfort Food Cravings

I was obnoxiously sick during the first trimester with, "lucky" for me, both of my pregnancies. For the first three months I lived on saltines, lemonade, and fresh bread. Once I was able to eat, however, all I wanted was savory and sweet comfort food…
By Dina Leygerman

8 Fascinating Facts About Babies Born In May, The Luckiest Month Of All

The height of all things fresh and springy, May is an excellent month to have a baby. It's a time of growth, graduations, and outdoor celebrations. And these fascinating facts about May babies will give you more reasons than ever to appreciate childr…
By Lindsay E. Mack

I Used To Judge Formula-Feeding Moms — Until I Became One

The other patrons in the hip Brooklyn restaurant probably couldn’t care less what I was feeding my baby, but I’ll always remember the shame I felt as I quickly mixed up his bottle of formula in front of them. I admitted to my childless friend that I …
By Katherine Martinelli

7 White Lies It’s Necessary To Tell To Keep Your Relationship Healthy

Telling lots of lies typically isn't associated with a healthy, strong, lasting relationship, and that's still certainly true, but not all lies are exactly the same. Though you've probably heard from someone at least once or twice that the lie they t…
By Lauren Schumacker

The Skinny Jeans That Saved Me Postpartum

Accepting my post-pregnancy body is hands-down one of the most difficult things I’ve ever done. It’s something that I still work on every single day. During my first pregnancy, I was 20 years old, so I managed to bounce back quickly. In fact, I dropp…
By Allison Cooper

7 Ways Your Baby Is Trying To Say They Feel Safe

In those first weeks of new motherhood, it can feel like you need an interpreter for your newborn. With their limited means of communication, figuring out what message your baby is trying to get across to you can be a challenge. With time, however, y…
By Kimmie Fink

Here's Why Dogs Are Obsessed With Babies' Poop, According To Science

Most family dogs seem to understand babies, and they're more than happy to make friends with the newest member of the pack. It's adorable... for the most part and until you go to change your little one's diaper. Suddenly, you're wondering why dogs ar…
By Lindsay E. Mack

6 Signs You're Meant To Have A Big Age Gap Between Kids

There's a five year age difference between my two children, to the day. Their age gap wasn't planned but, for a variety of reasons, works well for our family. And since I was so focused on having a second baby, I totally overlooked the signs that wou…
By Candace Ganger

My Dog Knew I Was Pregnant Before My Family Did

Growing up, I was 100 percent sure I'd be a mom one day. To a dog, that is. My baby plans came later. And once my husband and I were sure we wanted both a dog and a baby, we'd add to our joint dog-and-baby name list over Sunday brunch or on date nigh…
By Melissa Mills