Yes, you guessed it: I'm an imperfect mother. I'm more than imperfect, actually, and I'm sure some could even argue that, from time to time, I totally suck at this whole mom thing. You see, I don't play with my children, I don't pack their lunches, I don't feed them breakfast, and I definitely don't cook every night. I do, however, forget appointments, skip activities when I'm too tired, forget to check nightly homework, and feed them pizza once — sometimes twice — a week. I know, right? Why did I even bother having children?
I watch moms and dads at the playground — chasing their kids around, creating fun games for them to play together, collecting rocks and digging in dirt — while I sit on the bench and wonder which part of the playground my kids are at. I watch these parents with a bit of envy, to be honest, because I don't really understand why I can't be more like them. Why can't I enjoy playing with my kids? Why do I wish, sometimes more than anything, that they'd stop asking me to play with them? Maybe something is wrong with me, because I hate pretend-play. I've tried to like it, you guys, but I've failed.
I mean, sometimes we do play board games as a family. I have, maybe a total of 10 times, played with Shopkins and monster trucks. I may have also pretended to be sick so my kids can pretend to take care of me. But getting down and playing with them for an extended period of time? Well, I just won't do it. My kids definitely deserve better, so it's a great thing that their dad loves to do all the things I'm just unwilling to do. Because I refuse to play with my kids, for the following reasons: