I'm not really quick to label myself as any one type of "mom," or even a mom in general. Yes, I have a son, but choosing to have a child is just one of the many life choices I have made. Still, society is big on labels these days, and if I have to fit myself into one category, I'd have to say I'm a proud "lazy mom." I didn't realize this was necessarily my identifier, until I started co-sleeping, because there are things lazy moms don't worry about when it comes to co-sleeping and, well, I didn't worry about these things either. When it comes to parenthood, I want to work smarter, not harder. The responsibilities of taking care of another human being are difficult enough, so if I can find a way to make motherhood work for me, not against me, I am all about it.
Now, this isn't to say that I haven't made adjustments or certain sacrifices since becoming a mother. Bringing another human being into the world, and then caring for that human being, is a very big adjustment, and I have altered certain (read: most) aspects of my life to be the parent my soon needs and deserves. It's just that, well, I don't worry about proving to myself, or anyone else, that I am a "good mother." I already know I am, so going above and beyond in the name of motherhood — giving myself the ability to point at a project or a parenting decision and say, "Look! Look at how much I love my kid!" — just isn't my thing. As long as my son is happy, healthy, and thriving, I consider my job done. That job never ends, mind you, but each night I can lay down in my bed, next to my partner and usually my toddler when he meanders in at two in the morning, and be proud of the mother I am to my son.
I started co-sleeping with my son because it was the easiest and most beneficial sleep situation for everyone involved. He fell asleep quicker and for longer periods of time when he was in our bed, and my partner and I were able to sleep as a result. That's honestly all there is to it. While we prepared our bed for co-sleeping and took the necessary precautions, we didn't worry about a whole lot either because, well, I'm a lazy mom, and lazy moms know that the following things just aren't worth their time or effort:
A Pee Spot On The Bed
I'm not proud of this, OK, but if I'm being honest I have to admit that my son has peed our bed more than a few times and my reaction hasn't necessarily been one of, um, "action." Usually it happens in the middle of the night and, usually I just roll on over after putting a blanket over the wet spot. I can deal with it in the morning, after I've had a night's worth of rest.
Look, I'm tired, OK? I'm tired and I'm being kicked and hit by tiny little fists and I just want to sleep for as long as I physically can. Sue me.
A Rogue Elbow Or Hand
I've succumbed to the undeniable fact that if my son comes in bed with my partner and I, I'm going to get hit in the face or the back or the ribs or wherever. The kid flails around every which way, moving his arms and legs with reckless abandon and I am usually the innocent bystander that ends up paying for it. There's not much I can do to fight it, so I just go with the elbow-throwing flow.
What Other People May Or May Not Think
I'm pretty open about my parenting decisions so, if someone asks, I'll let them know that I've been co-sleeping with my son since the day he was born. Usually, people don't seem all that phased and even ask some genuine questions to better understand how co-sleeping works. Other times, I hear some judgmental statements and I'm shamed and I'm made to feel like I'm putting my son in danger. Yeah, I don't care.
I mean, I'm not a robot so yes, I don't like it when an internet strangers sends me a message, telling me I'm a horrible mother and I'm going to kill my baby. But honestly, I just don't have the time or energy to put into necessarily taking what people say to heart. If I know I am co-sleeping safely, that's all I need to know. The rest? Yeah, the rest I just don't have the patience for. I'm too lazy.
Outdated Research Or Co-Sleeping Studies
People who either believe the myths about co-sleeping, or hang their hat on outdated research, are usually the voice their less-than-stellar opinions about co-sleeping to those who choose it for themselves and their families.
Having been informed my doctors and nurses and recent studies that co-sleeping, when done correctly, is safe, I just don't worry about the outdated stuff. I have too many other things going on — and too many hours of sleep to chase — to worry about disproving what has already been disproven, or going back and checking sources and citing sources and anything else that has to do with sources. I'm just not about it.
"Spoiling" Their Baby
You can't "spoil" a baby. No, really. It's not a thing. So, because that's not an actual possibility, I'm not worried about spoiling my child when he's sleeping next to me.
My son co-slept with me, skin-to-skin, the first night of his life and in a hospital; a recommendation made by his team of nurses and doctors. His body was having trouble regulating its temperature, so my body temperature worked as a way to help his stabilize. From that moment on, I slept next to my son, and it had made breastfeeding easier at night, provided my son and I with more hours of sleep (no, really) and it curbed so many of my postpartum anxieties.
Their Sex Life Becoming Extinct
Co-sleeping doesn't mean your sex life has come to an end. Instead, it means your sex life requires a little more creativity. That's easy, you guys. Any lazy person (mom or not) can tell you that sex on the living room couch, the living room floor, a kitchen counter or wherever you else you just happen to be when the mood strikes, is just as easy as having sex in your bed. Seriously.
Transitioning Their Kid To Their Own Bed
That's for future you to worry about. You're not future you, yet. So, you know, you'll save that battle for another day. #ProcrastinationFTW