A lot of us women — especially the smaller-chested among us — get psyched about our soon-to-be developing pregnancy boobs. We tend to imagine only the upsides of gaining a cup size or two (or three) when we're carrying a bun in the oven, like the joy of finally filling out a B cup. Few people talk about the more unpleasant things that happen when your breasts when you're knocked up, though. In fact, there are a lot of things no one says about pregnancy boobs, but I will, because knowledge is power and you need to be prepared.
I did not enjoy the process of getting boobs when I was in my early teens, and I did not really enjoy it when I was pregnant, either. Boobs that are growing and changing are awkward-looking. First you have that thing that happens to the nipples, because they're the first to get bigger before the rest of the breast catches up. Then, at some point, you get the lopsided boob thing going on. Inevitably all your existing bras no longer fit and you can't go shopping for a new bra yet because you know you're not done growing. It's just not what I would consider a walk in the park, you know?
The thing is, no one warned me. I was promised beautiful, "porn star" boobs during my pregnancy (and the fact that this promise was appealing instead of offensive is not lost on me, folks). I did get big boobs (for my frame) but I also got a whole host of other surprises that come with pregnancy boobs that no one seemed to want to talk about. Here are just a few of them: