Prior to becoming a mother, I considered myself to be somewhat of a daredevil. A risk taker. An adrenaline junkie. I have been bungee jumping twice and I've jumped off piers and dived off sides of some very questionable cliffs and dated, you know, some pretty suspect individuals. Then I made the silly decision to go ahead and procreate. Suddenly I realized that being a mom makes you realize danger's all around us, and it is you guys. It so, so is. Lurking around every sinister coffee table corner. Hiding behind an uncovered electrical outlet. Somehow in the handle of a harmless spoon because my son doesn't understand that it's not plastic and it will, in fact, hurt him if he hits himself with it. The world is just one giant pit of potential pain.
Now, it is worth mentioning that being concerned on a daily basis (and baby proofing the you-know-what out of every home you have, even when your baby is a toddler) is very different from postpartum anxiety and/or suffering from intrusive thoughts. If you're so afraid for your safety and the safety of your child that you can't sleep, can't go outside, don't want to eat and don't want anyone to touch your baby, a bigger problem is afoot and you need to seek the help and support you so very much deserve. However, if you are like me and you just realize that your baby (and eventually, your toddler) has made the earth one big, round, rotating danger zone; welcome to motherhood.
There are very few things I can't stand and/or fear more than seeing my son in pain. I also know it's inevitable, and part of being human. I don't want to be an overprotective mother and I don't want to be a helicopter parent and I don't want to rob my son of freedom or certain experiences or the wonderful urge to explore. But it's hard to balance those desires with the constant need to make sure my son is safe. In the end, I can only do my absolute best while succumbing to the undeniable realization that the world is scary. It's also wonderful. So, with that in mind, here are just a few ways motherhood turns you into one big, giant ball of fear. Thanks, kid.