I had always planned to have two kids, spaced three years apart. So, when my daughter was 2, her father and I decided to try to get pregnant. We learned pretty quickly that TTC when you already have one kidis the worst, and trying to have another baby can, in more ways than one, be much more challenging than it ever was the first time around.
First, there was the question of when to start. We wanted to be sure that we timed our child spacingjust right so our kids could inevitably become BFFs, but we also didn't want to have two kids in diapers simultaneously. And deciding when to try to conceive is just half the battle. We actually had to find time to have sex, which is a challenge when your toddler suddenly stops napping and refuses to sleep in her "big girl bed." And, of course, just because you're trying to get pregnant doesn't mean it will automatically happen. I had no idea if I should tell my daughter what we were planning to have another child, or if I should wait to break the news until I was holding a positive pregnancy test in my hot little hands. (And, for the uninitiated, trying to take a pregnancy test on the sly when your toddler insists on accompanying you to the bathroom every damn time is no easy task.)
In my experience, trying to conceive is complex and complicated no matter when you're attempting to start or expand your family, but it’s definitely harder when you have an older kid, and for the following reasons: