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9 Hilarious Differences Between Having A Baby In The Summer Vs. The Winter

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Between my three pregnancies I've had babies in the summer, fall, and winter, which means I have been pregnant, given birth, and had a newborn in virtually every season. Honestly, every season presents a challenge, but they had their positives, too. I especially noted some huge and hilarious differences between having a baby in the summer vs the winter.

Each season comes with it's perks. In the summer you're able to be outside with your baby, so you feel less isolated and alone. Winter brings the excitement of having a baby during the winter holidays, and, of course, it's sweater season. But each season has it's less-than-admirable qualities as well. In the summer, the hot weather and swarms of mosquitoes can make you feel just as isolated as snow storms can in the winter. And don't even get me started on fireworks for the Fourth of July or New Year's Eve.

I've learned that there's really no perfect time of year to have a baby. I also now know that so much of the newborn phase is a matter of perspective. When I think back to my babies' first days of life, I have to kind of laugh. I was so miserable, clueless, and anxiety-ridden, mostly because having a baby is stressful no matter what the weather is like or how your social calendar looks. There are moments that are going to totally suck — like being pregnant in the summer heat or being shamed for breastfeeding at Christmas dinner — and other moments will actually be kind of nice — like being off on maternity leave during summer vacation, or snuggling with your baby when it's cold outside.

Fortunately, no matter what the season you have your baby, you will eventually figure out how to be a mom. And if you are lucky, you might also learn how to calm down a little and enjoy it all. In the meantime, though, here are some pretty hilarious differences between having a baby in the summer versus the winter, because if you don't laugh you'll cry.

Your Last Few Days Of Pregnancy

Summer baby: OMFG, I am so hot. I didn't know a person could sweat this much. I mean, I am literally growing a human space-heater inside my body, and I'm carrying an extra 30 pounds, but damn, this is the grossest my body has ever felt. I think I actually have chafing on my chafing.

Winter baby: It's so cold, and the only shoes that still fit my swollen feet are flip flops. How exactly doesn't one walk on ice in flip flops without falling on their ass?

Other People's Judgmental Comments

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Summer baby: "Why is that baby not wearing a hat, socks, or shoes?" "You let your daughter wear a two-piece bathing suit?"

Winter baby: "Why is that baby still in footie pajamas past lunchtime?" "Get that baby inside. They might catch a cold."

Bedtime

Summer baby: The baby won't sleep, because it's still light out at 11 p.m. and you didn't think to put blackout curtains on your registry.

Winter baby: The baby won't sleep because it's freezing in the house.

Trying To Dress Your Baby For The Weather

Summer baby: You try to dress your baby lightly enough so they stay cool and don't get too sweaty or a rash, but not too lightly, so they don't get a sunburn... which is pretty much impossible.

Winter baby: You try to dress your baby warm enough so they stay cozy, but not too warm so they don't get overheated... which is pretty much impossible.

The Nature Of Your Anxiety

Summer Baby: You will spend the summer never shutting the door to the back seat of the car until the driver's side door is open. Also, every outing to the park will involve chasing bees and mosquitoes away from your baby, and moving to stay in the shade.

Winter Baby: You watch the weather report like a hawk, and refuse to leave the house if there is snow in the forecast.

How Often You Leave The House

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Summer baby: You take the baby for a walk every morning, only to turn around after a block because it's too damn hot, you saw a bee, or you forgot their hat at home.

Winter baby: You never want to leave the house, because it's too much damn work to bundle up the baby in clothing appropriate for their car seat, carry said car seat to the car, and load everything in. If you do all of this, the baby will poop or demand to be fed.

Snuggles

Summer Baby: Your baby's sweat co-mingles with yours creating a giant puddle on your shirt, or worse, a waterfall of warm sweat that will flow under your boobs and down your belly.

Winter Baby: Can't move. Baby snuggles are too intense. Must sleep now.

Breastfeeding

Summer Baby: Your nipples hurt so badly you don't want to wear a shirt, but you can't stand the boob sweat. You try to breastfeed in public, but someone in a bikini gives you the side-eye.

Winter Baby: Your nipples hurt so badly you don't want to wear a shirt, but it's too damn cold to go without. You try to breastfeed in public, but it's impossible to reach your boobs through 12 layers of clothing.

Your Beverage Of Choice

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Summer Baby: You pick up some chilled rosé, from Target, because mama needs some wine.

Winter Baby: You ask your partner to bring home some red wine. You can't get up. The baby is sleeping on you. The struggle is real.