Your entire life changes when you lose a baby. It’s not something anyone is ever prepared for. Even if you’ve had friends or relatives that experienced a loss, it’s never the same when it happens to you. This type of loss can be incredibly devastating to parents. A loss basically destroys all your plans for the future. When you experience such a loss, those around you will try to comfort you in their own way. Sometimes, however, the things people say can actually be more hurtful than helpful. This is why I dislike terms like “angel baby.”
I was fortunate to have a pretty wonderful support system after we lost our daughter, Margaret. It was a difficult time but, between my family and friends, my husband and I had all the help we needed. While most folks were very respectful of the fact that my partner and I aren't religious, some folks still felt the need to inject their beliefs into our grieving and healing process. They would talk about the baby being in a “better place” (what they were referring to as Christian heaven) or that, “God has a plan” (except I don’t believe in god, so that wasn't helpful in the slightest).
I did my best to diffuse these particular situations, but I think it's time those who are agnostic/atheist to claim a part of the mourning process that's for them and them alone, devoid of any religion or religious connotations. Because it’s hard losing a baby, and harder still when you are not a believer.