9 Things I Did To Move My Labor Along, Because Babies Take Their Damn Time

By
Share

In those last two weeks of pregnancy I was starting to feel uncomfortable and anxious to meet my precious baby. While nine months is a long time, the last few weeks of pregnancy are easily the longest. It felt as though time was standing still, so I was pretty tired of people asking me if I had the baby yet. Obviously I did not. In fact, I tried a whole bunch of things to try and move my labor along because babies take their damn time, apparently.

I was originally given a due date in mid December. That date was later changed after a third ultrasound, and I was told I would be due just a few days before Christmas. In the end, my baby waited around so long he missed Christmas, New Years, and ended up being born in a whole new calendar year. Not only was this mildly annoying, but it had some unintended consequences, too. For example, now my son will start school a year later than all the other children in my birth and baby group. (We live in Canada, and school enrollment begins in January.) I also couldn't include him as a dependent on the previous years taxes which, you know, sucked.

My son's late arrival wasn't for want of trying, though. In fact, I tried so many tips and techniques to get my labor moving along, including the following things:

I Went Snowshoeing

Courtesy of Fiona Tapp

When my due date neared my brother and parents visited from England, waiting to meet this baby that just wouldn't come out. It was cold, and snowy, and I was so tired of being stuck inside. So we strapped on our snowshoes and got out in the thick snow.

I was hoping that all the physical activity, including having to lift my knees up high to maneuver through the deep snow, would get things moving. Turns out, that just wasn't the case.

I Tried Some Yoga Moves

I tried pelvic rocks, and tilts, squatting, and butterfly moves. I ended up falling asleep in the child's pose, you guys. So, yeah, yoga didn't convince my kid to enter the world.

I Tried Eating Spicy Curry

Giphy

I love Indian food. I grew up in East London, which has some of the best curry houses outside of India. So, eating spicy food seemed like a very easy and delicious tip to try. I ordered some onion bhaji's, a spicy samosa, dhansak, and even tried some of my husband's vindaloo. Everything tasted fantastic, but nothing labor-related happened.

I Walked Around A Mall

When winter hits lots of Canadians, especially seniors, head to the mall to continue their exercise routine in a place that's warm. I joined them, and started walking around the mall for an entire day. I walked up and down stairs, covering miles and miles between stores. In the end,all I did was end up spending $200 on clothes. Yeah, that didn't help at all.

I Ate A Whole Pineapple

Giphy

I heard an old wives' tale that claims pineapple can bring on labor. Apparently an enzyme in the fruit helps to soften the cervix, but you have to eat quite a lot of pineapple for the enzyme to really do its dirty work. Still, and even though it didn't induce labor for me, I really like pineapple so this tip was easy to swallow (pun intended).

I Tried Asking Nicely

I started getting to desperate I took to talking to my stomach and pleading with my unborn baby. "Come on little man, it's time to come out. It's really nice out here and we all want to meet you. Pretty please, come out."

yeah, he ignored me.

I Had Two Membrane Sweeps

Giphy

My doctor held off for quite a while, but when my son was 10 days overdue he tried a membrane sweep, also known as a "stretch and sweep."

This is about as unpleasant as it sounds, and involves your health care practitioner using their finger to try and separate the membranes of the amniotic sac. It didn't work for me. In fact, it didn't work despite me returning two days later, only to repeat the entire ordeal.

I Had Sex

Having a roll around sure sounds like a fun way to get things going, right? Sex has been found to increase uterine activity but, as reported in The Independent, the scientific evidence is lacking.

I gave it a go, but it didn't work. I regret nothing.

I Bounced On A Ball

Giphy

By the time I tried this particular technique I was getting desperate. I bounced on the ball at home, and at the hospital, but nothing happened. In the end I ended up induced, and things went very, very slowly after my induction, too.

Even though my baby took his sweet time to enter the world, the moment he got here I forgot all about the delay. Good things, do indeed, come to those who wait.