Going through a divorce was one of the hardest things I've ever done. It nearly broke me. I did get through it, though, and I learned so much about myself, what I really wanted, and — probably more importantly — what I didn't want from a partner, co-parent, and lover. I wish I could have learned these things sooner. Before I got married in the first place, perhaps. Unfortunately, though, there are some things you can only learn about marriage after going through a divorce.
It's kind of ironic, but I learned how to be a way better wife and partner, not to mention how to make a marriage work, from my failed marriage. I learned how to compromise without compromising myself or the things that were important to me. I learned how to fight fair, owning the things that were mine to own and not blaming them on my former partner, and figuring out which things were worth fighting for and which proverbial hills I wasn't willing to die on. I learned how to forgive my partner and how to forgive myself. Trust me when I say I am so much better at marriage the second time around.
Most importantly, I learned a lot about myself, what I valued, and what kind of family I wanted to build for my children. It has not been easy,and I wouldn't wish my experience on anyone, but I am a way better, stronger, more confident person after my divorce, than I ever was when I was married.