Marriages evolve over time and, honestly, start to change the moment you say “I Do.” They change when you move locations or jobs, when you get pregnant, and once you have a baby. Once you’re a parent, there are decisions you’ll make regarding your child that will also serve as teaching opportunities that will teach you more about one another. For example, deciding to cloth diaper, formula feed, or co-sleep. Trust me when I say, there things you can learn about your marriage after co-sleeping.
I always knew that I would co-sleep with my baby when it came time. In fact, y husband and I were both on the same page when I got pregnant with our son and knew, without a doubt, that we would have his crib in our room. So, once we were home we started off with a bassinet beside the bed and, eventually, he moved to his crib. One day, however, he decided our bed would just be better. He moved on it, set up shop, and basically refused to sleep unless it was in our bed. It was an interesting experience, to say the least.
Like any other choice involved with parenting, there are numerous pros and cons to co-sleeping with your kid. In the end, though, I learned a lot about myself and my husband in the process.
How Light Of A Sleeper You Both Are
The more people there are sleeping in a room, the noisier it might be. One of you might snore, and your baby will definitely coo and cry on occasion. So, who wakes up first? Definitely the light sleeper (or the one who just can’t stand listening to the baby cry for more than 30 seconds).
How You Both Manage To Wake Up Without An Alarm Clock
We never had an alarm clock while co-sleeping. We just didn’t want to deal with waking our kid if he was finally sleeping. I mean, let's be real: no parent wants that. Somehow, we managed to wake up usually on time, by training our brains and bodies to wake when we needed to.
How Good Your Collective Ninja Skills Are For Stepping In & Out Of The Room
Another aspect of co-sleeping and keeping quiet is not wanting to wake the baby when you enter and exit the bedroom. You and your partner will certainly memorize the location of every squeaky floor board and door hinge. You’ll both know when to tip toe, when to creep, and how to hide like a pro (and you might both even make a game of it).
How Long You Can Go Without Sex & Not Get Cranky
New parents aren't usually getting it on as much as they'd like, or at least as much as they did before they procreated. So, yes, your baby is probably exceptionally trained at ruining your intimate moments.
In other words, it might be a while before you two can enjoy one another as frequently as you want, and that sex-drought will definitely bring out your grouchy side.
How Creative You Can Get About Sex
That said, you might also want to simply be more creative about it. In fact, chances are if you’ve never tried to do it outside of the bedroom, you’ll start experimenting once you start co-sleeping. That can definitely be a good thing.
How Supportive You Are Of One Another
Co-sleeping can be tough, but it’s much more difficult if only one of you wants to do it. I know my husband didn’t mind co-sleeping, but wasn’t too keen on bed sharing. Still, I realized how much he wanted to support me and our son by the way he supported my choice — even if it meant he occasionally slept in the guest bedroom or on the couch.
How Much Room Your Baby Takes Up In Your Room & Lives
Sure, babies are small but they sure as sh*t take up a lot of room. This is part of why some parents might enjoy having a room separate from their babies. One partner might move their clothes into a spare room or closet, while another partner will move books or whatever else to adjust accordingly. Before you know it, you'll both discover who is cool with all the rearrangements, and who are not.
How Much Of A Mess You Can Both Stand
Not only does having a baby in your room mean more clutter, it also often means more mess in the way of dirty diapers, used baby wipes, icky burp cloths, and stained pajamas. You might have thought your partner was a slob before, but when you co-sleep you never get a chance to really tidy the shared bedroom before it's a disaster again. Eventually one of you will snap at the other about it, but hey: you’re not the first or only set of new parents to do so.
How Solid Your Marriage Was Before You Started Co-Sleeping
Parenthood can often make or break a relationship. It’s not the kid’s fault, of course, but rather the incompatibility of two people who want to parent in completely different ways, or grow apart as a result of all the responsibilities of parenthood. Every couple goes through rough patches when a baby first arrives, but the solid relationships are the ones that end up sticking long after. Usually this is dictated by how solid your relationship was prior to your child’s birth.