A little over a year ago, my ex-husband let me know he was seeing someone new. I didn't really know what to say at the time. I mean, it's really none of my business and, for the most part, I want to stay on good terms with anyone who would play a role in my kids' lives. Now that I have seen the impression she's had on them, I can safely say that it's normal to have more than a few things you'll want to say to your co-parent's new partner, but shouldn't. At least, I hope it's "normal."
For one, I'd really like to tell her all about how horrible and abusive my ex-husband, and her current partner, was during our marriage. Mostly just to warn her, hoping that he treats better and, if not, that she dumps his *ss. I won't, of course, because I know she's probably heard an entirely different version of the story and, in the end, I don't want to create drama. While I will always be friendly, because I want her to be kind to my kids, I know don't have to be friends with her, either. It's just that, of course, I wouldn't tell her that. I mean, there's no reason to, and it's rude.
My kids don't have to like her either, by the way. I expect them to be polite and respectful, of course, but they don't have to like her or be her "friend." In a way, I feel bad for her. Being a caregiver is hard AF, and it's even harder when you haven't known the kids for very long. I get it, because I'm a stepmom, too. Still, she's not their mother or their stepmom (at least, not right now), so I absolutely do not want her to make future promises or ask that my children call her mom. It's inappropriate and even a little creepy. But, again, I will never say those things to her, no matter how much I want to. their mother or their stepmom, so please don't make promises or ask them to call you mom, because that's super inappropriate and even a little creepy. As a co-parent you pick and choose your battles and, thankfully, I'm not petty enough to say the following things: