Three years into motherhood and my Valentine's Day celebrations are all about pink construction paper creations and hiding my candy hearts so I don't have to share. Once the bedtime routine is over, I usually collapse on the sofa and fall asleep to The Notebook. Even my favorite "saucy tunes," previously guaranteed to get me in the mood, have taken on a different meaning. For instance any song that says "oh baby" has me thinking about my actual baby. So, here is a more realistic super sexy mom playlist that includes classic tracks about the struggles of motherhood and the things most moms really want on love day. You know, like someone else to take charge of the chores and the childcare.
Seriously though, if you can organize some childcare and spend time with your partner reconnecting, it can do wonders. Regardless of how stable and healthy and happy your relationship is, it's important to take some time to remember why you made a baby together in the first place. Personally, I love going on dates with my husband. He is a wonderful father, but sometimes it's nice to just see him as my man, and not my son's dad. I get a chance to be on the arm of that sexy Canadian I fell in love with so many years ago.
So, with that in mind and because every mom deserves some (read: a lot of) sexy in her life, here is my super sexy mom playlist. Hold onto your hats, ladies.
"...Baby One More Time" Britney Spears, 1998
The first few days after giving birth are the worst.
"My hemorrhoids are killing me, (and I)
I cant believe,
It hurts to pee (hurts to pee)."
"How Do I Live" LeAnn Rimes, 1997
Sleep deprivation can make you crazy. I mean, it's used as a means of torture for a reason, you guys.
"How do I live without sleep,
I wanna know
How can I function at all
my baby don't sleep."
"Say My Name" Destiny's Child, 1999
You know that your baby is going to say 'Dada' first, unless you assault them with this altered track:
"Say my name, say my name,
When daddy's not around you, say mommy, I love you."
"Hello" Adele, 2015
The first time you leave your baby at daycare it's going to hurt. You might as well flush out all of your emotions and play this heartbreaking tune, right?
"Hello from my cubicle,
I know a called a thousand times
to tell you I am worried
about my ba-by."
"Push it Real Good" Salt-N-Pepa, 1986
Every pumping mama needs an anthem, in my humble opinion. It's hard to produce and collect liquid gold, you know.
"Ah, pump it, Ah, pump it
Ooh, baby, baby
Ooh, baby, baby
Baby, baby (collect this milk)
Pump it real good!"
If you're not a breastfeeding mom, you can easily use this song as a way to prepare for labor and delivery, too. Oh, the '90s. What a magical time.
"U Can't Touch This" MC Hammer, 1990
Once your kid reaches the crawling and grabbing stages, you're going to need to baby proof for safety and to prevent all your precious things from being ruined.
"Can't touch this, (pointing at everything)
Can't touch this,
Can't touch this (oh-oh oh oh oh-oh-oh)
Can't touch this (oh-oh oh oh oh-oh-oh)."
"Manic Monday" The Bangles, 1986
The concept of time changes when you have a baby. What used to take you a few minutes ends up taking you all freakin' morning. Getting out of the house on time? Yeah, that requires a two hour buffer.
"Have to catch an early train
Daycare drop off at nine
And if I had an airplane
I still couldn't make it on time
'Cause it takes me so long to pack up the diaper bag
Blame it on baby
I just can't be on time anymore!"
"The Air That I Breathe" The Hollies, 1974
After you become a parent, long leisurely weekends spent lying in bed and brunching, sadly, become a thing of the past.
"These days, all I need
Is a long lie-in
And some coffee."
"Sexual Healing" Mavin Gaye, 1982
Even when you can make time to, you know, get it on, expect some interruptions.
"Get up, get up, get up, get up
I hear baby cry
wake up, wake up, wake up, wake up,
it's your turn tonight."
"Somebody's Watching Me" Rockwell, 1984
Once your children can get out of their bed and walk around, you may want to invest in a door lock, especially if you are trying to have a little adult time.
"I always feel little eyes are watching me.
And I have no privacy
Woh, my kids are watching me."
"I Am On Fire" Bruce Springsteen, 1984
When finally the kids are sleeping, put this track on. It might be an oldie, but it's an auditory love potion.