Sex
What you can continue doing and what to pause, according to experts.
Although creating life is kind of amazing, there’s so much you have to give up when you’re expecting, too. Out the window (for the next nine months at least) are things like snoozing on your back, soaking up the heat of a sauna, or really any activities that might cause bumps or collisions. Which, depending on how rough you like your sex, can bring up some questions about what’s OK in the bedroom while you’re expecting. So, if you like to be a little rowdy between the sheets, you might wonder if it’s safe to have rough intercourse during pregnancy.
Maybe before you got pregnant you liked to take a walk on the wild side every now and then. Are you limited to missionary style from now until the birth of your baby? Absolutely not, according to Dr. Stephen Weiss, M.D., OB-GYN at Emory Healthcare and assistant professor of obstetrics and gynecology at Emory University. If you’re nervous about pregnancy sex in general, don’t be. “It is a fallacy that the shaking of the uterus is a cause of miscarriage or pregnancy complications,” Dr. Weiss says.
So don’t stress about having to ditch the dildo or hide the handcuffs, and read on to understand the ins and outs (ha) of rough pregnant sex.
1
Thrust with caution.
Weiss notes that hard thrusting is OK during pregnancy, but you should proceed with caution. “Vaginal sex is safe, but for some women, the cervix has more gland tissue and will spot or bleed,” Weiss says. If a bout of rough sex leaves a little blood on the sheets, keep an eye on it. If it doesn’t become a heavier flow and stops on its own, your cervix may have just been a little sensitive to all of the extra thrusting.
2
Spanking during pregnancy is still OK.
As long as it’s consensual, there is no problem with enjoying some spanking while pregnant, Weiss says. For some women, doggy style is a better position for pregnancy sex, so adding in a few little spanks may make it all the more pleasurable. Just be sure to spank in safe areas, like on the butt, and stay away from your belly.
“It’s all about comfort for the woman in relation to her abdomen,” says Dr. Kim Langdon, M.D., an OB-GYN. “I would not recommend trying new things for the first time in pregnancy.”
3
Anal may not feel good after the first trimester.
Yep, you read that right. Here’s why: “Anal sex may lead to rectal bleeding since hemorrhoids are more common in the second and third trimesters,” Langdon says. Since hemorrhoids plague a lot of pregnant ladies, just be mindful that even if you usually like anal, it could cause pain or bleeding as your pregnancy progresses.
4
Sex toys are fine.
If you’re looking to spice things up, (and are into rough sex while pregnant), then you could tote a toy or two into the bedroom with you. “If you did it before pregnancy, it’s probably OK to use sex toys during pregnancy,” says Langdon. “But you have to make sure that they are cleaned well, because altered microbiomes can lead to preterm birth.”
5
Keep bondage light.
Cutting off your circulation while pregnant is definitely not recommended, and with swelling being a big symptom of pregnancy, you don’t want to put too much pressure on your skin by being tied up. You’ll also want to avoid anything that can cause you to lose your breath or bondage around your belly. So, you may have to take tight ropes and choking off the menu for a bit.
6
Use protection.
If you’re in a trusting, monogamous relationship, condoms may not be necessary for you, but if you’re unsure of your partner or sleeping with other people, you’ll want to use protection.
“Any transmission of STDs is potentially more harmful during pregnancy,” Weiss says. “Depending on the organism, STDs can increase the risk of miscarriage, preterm labor, and infection for the baby.” So, insist on protection if you’re at all concerned about your sexual partner’s health.
7
Avoid any rough play to the belly area.
For some couples, rough sex while pregnant might mean something like light bondage or naughty toys. For others, it could be mild torture. No matter where you fall on the S&M spectrum, you’ll need to make sure to put your safety (and that of your baby) as a top priority. If you’re into slapping, punching, or hitting, don’t do it anywhere near your belly while pregnant.
8
Make sure to stay stable.
As long as it feels comfortable, you and your partner can pretty much be in any position possible. That said, you shouldn’t twist yourself into a pretzel if it means that you could potentially get hurt. “Avoid any activities that could cause balance insecurities, falling, or pressure to the abdomen,” Langdon says.
Sex while pregnant definitely doesn’t have to be boring, especially if you’re used to a more vibrant, robust sex life. By keeping satisfaction (and safety) as a guide, you can have a sensational time in the sack, the shower, or wherever — and whenever during your nine months — the mood strikes you.
Experts:
Dr. Stephen Weiss, M.D., OB-GYN at Emory Healthcare and assistant professor of obstetrics and gynecology at Emory University
Dr. Kim Langdon, M.D., an OB-GYN
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