My oldest child is all Great Dane puppy. They are lovable, goofy, enthusiastic, and extremely tall for their age. Like most parents, I am constantly floored at just how fast these kids grow. How is it possible this giraffe-child was once that tiny…

Taking a trip to IKEA is a fantasy. For perhaps an hour, you get to stand in a nicer house/kitchen/office where everything is put away and matching, where cushions are a novelty and the plants never die because they're made of vinyl. Perhaps some…

At almost 21 months of personality-filled age and, as far as I can tell, a teenager's worth of attitude, my daughter, Melby, is both the most hilarious, interesting, charming person to be around and also the most irrationally opinionated, exhausting…

“Can I help you with that?” I ask my son as he focuses all of his energy through squinted eyes and pointed eyebrows. “No!” he yells as blocks come tumbling down. I’m no engineer, but I know that very tall buildings, even plastic ones, need a solid…

Do you own a toddler? Know one? (Hint: if you own one, you know one.) Toddlers are whacked. Like, straight crazy people that are very small and oddly powerful, and cuter than you even know how to handle. They will fill your every cell with purpose,…

Sometimes I go through the whole haircut thing just for the moment in the beginning where the hair stylist plays with your hair as you discuss The Inspiration. Now that I have toddlers who love nothing better than cracking out the stylist tools, I…

I couldn't tell you when it all began. One day, we were a free(ish) family of four. We enjoyed a variety of toys, wooden and electric alike. We could watch a diverse selection of media. Hey Duggee, Word Party, Frozen, Moana, and Spirit Riding Free…

“Mama, what’s your head shape?” my 2-year-old asked me in between bites of his tunafish sandwich. He quickly followed up with, “Mine is O shape, yea, O shape…” It’s questions like these that make me stop and think about how crazy it must be to be…

You know what Sheryl Sandburg never mentioned when she was on that lean-in tear, selling the rewards of keeping up a career (ugh) into motherhood? The goddamn magic of the daycare pickup. Going to work can suck, Sheryl was right about that, but…

No. 1: WORD EXPLOSION. In the six months between ages 1 and 1.5 years old, my son went from a steady stream of "Ba, ba, ba, ba!" as if he were a fat, hairless sheep to "Ah luh lou, Mommy!" and "Ah did it!" and "Sit down!" and "Ice, ice baby!" and…

You know those moms who say in a wistful, sighing voice, “I loved every stage”? I’m not that mom. Sure, I adored my newborn son and he had his endearing moments when he smiled in his sleep or snuggled on my chest. But mostly, the first few months…

There are some things about parenthood that are just as magical as you imagined they would be when you were pregnant. That first night of rocking your newborn to sleep in the nursery you meticulously designed. Putting on tiny footed pajamas with a…

I think my 11-month-old son Jack may have been a viking in a previous life. Or he may even be one now, I’m not sure. But he most definitely acts like a viking when he eats. When he’s hungry and sitting in his high chair, he will ball up his teeny…

In the beginning, there is the pinched little face, newer than a dew drop, taking its first breath in your arms. By this point — birth — my daughter had already taken her first poop ~inside me~ and I’ve been elbows deep in it ever since. At first…