Romper

10 Things Your Baby Is Definitely Thinking When They Meet Your Best Friend

If I'm being honest, I must admit that I only have a vague memory of me introducing my son to some of my closest friends, perhaps because I was in that new-parent, sleepless stupor. Even if I’d been at my most alert, I still wouldn’t know what each of them was thinking. I can guess, though. As well as I know my friends, and as well as I know my son, I actually have a pretty solid idea as to how it all went down. In fact, I'm pretty positive I have a great idea as to  what baby was thinking when he met my friends for the first time.

Introducing a baby to dear friends or family members can be exciting and, dare I say, anti-climactic; especially if your little one is not inclined to wake up for the initial meeting (or any subsequent meetings for the first few months, actually). There’s likely been plenty of build-up to that moment, especially if your friends have been relentlessly supportive throughout your pregnancy. It’s a happy time, as many moments with a new baby are, with lots of cooing and gurgles and smiles happening on all sides (even those non-smiles that come from especially young babies are allowed to count).

However, if we were to dive a little deeper and explore what’s going on in a baby’s mind when they meet the people who have arguably known you the longest, I'd imagine we would find the following:

"I Just Met You And I Love You"

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I mean, my own BFFs are the loveliest of lovely people, so of course my baby would feel the same way, right? I can’t imagine any other scenario except the one that includes him immediately recognizing that they’re the best, and automatically loving them.

"You Give Great Hugs"

I may be biased, but my best friend really does. Those hugs have served me well over the years, including but not limited to heartbreaks (before I met your dad, obviously) and celebratory moments involving the release of new '90s boyband albums and the acquisition of certain concert tickets.

"So This Is Who You’re Always Texting?"

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I mean, yes, yes it is. Or, to put it another way, this is who's talking me down and keeping me sane when I’m sending incoherent messages between night feedings. Same difference, right?

"This Is Who’s Responsible For Our Favorite Pajamas?"

Of course it is. She has the best taste of anyone I know. Why do you think I exclusively wore my bestie's wardrobe when we were roommates?

"Why Is My Mom So Happy To See You?"

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To be fair, I’ve been crying a lot lately, so tears are starting to become the norm around here. Still, I’m pretty sure that a baby can pick up on happiness and knows the difference between these tears of joy, and the tears that come after his third middle-of-the-night blowout in a row.

"What, More Presents, For Me? You Shouldn’t Have!"

And get this, she’s the one who threw the baby shower that’s responsible for 92 percent of all the baby gear we own, son. At this rate, she’s going to need at least four kids of her own so I can start returning the love.

"Which Of Your Kids Am I Betrothed To Again?"

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Confession time: I have dear friends with kids, and some dear friends without. However, I’ve made some of the same jokes to all of them about how our future kids will someday marry (I mean, assuming they all have kids, some may very well not and that’s totally fine). Do I really expect it to happen? Doubtful, of course, unless it happens on their own accord. But is it fun to joke about? Yes, a million times, yes.  

"How Am I Going To Catch Up On All The Inside Jokes?"

Don’t worry, son. You have your whole life ahead of you. Besides, many of these jokes are actually PG-13 and R-rated, so I’ll be shielding you from them for as long as possible.

"You Smell Amazing"

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Not to discredit her grooming abilities, because yes, she’s got those under control, too, but this one may just be because I haven’t showered in four days. Everyone will probably smell amazing in comparison.

"Thank You For All These Amazing Compliments. You’re Adorable, Too."

I want you to hear them, son. She means them. She’s going to be supportive of you the same we she’s been for me. You have nothing else to do except just get used to it.