Back when I was pregnant with my son and preparing for our first "meeting" of sorts, I wasn’t really considering what a baby thinks during an ultrasound. If I’m going to be completely honest, I was mostly worried about his general health and well-being (and his sex because, yes, we were a family that was stoked to find that out as early as we could).
Logically, I knew he still had lots of growth and development ahead of him so I was willing to give him a pass on, you know, contemplating the intricacies of the universe, communicating the mysteries of life from the womb and via the work of an ultrasound technician, or simply letting his parents know he was trying to figure out what the hell was going on. I was too busy trying to decipher black lines from more black lines and figuring out if he was healthy or not (with my non-medical background). I think that's standard ultrasound operating procedure for any new mom, right?
Still, now that I’ve had time to process (my son is almost two and a half), I can’t help but realize that there are some aspects to pregnancy that seem normal to us in our fairly-educated society, that probably seem a bit strange to the uninformed and unborn. Imagine if babies could understand ultrasounds. Imagine if they knew they were on display for the world to see (well, technically, there were only a few of us in that room. But by “world,” I mean, “anyone who sees the photos”), while still the size of a small piece of produce. If that were possible, here’s what I think would be going through that baby’s mind:
"What Are You So Excited About? I’ve Been Here For Weeks."
To which I'd like to say, "Of course you have. I’ve been feeling you every morning and every time I climb stairs and smell anything remotely spicy. Trust me, I know you’re there. But knowing is different than seeing. You’ll understand in about six months."
"A Little Warning Next Time, Please"
This is a fair request. If someone was taking the first ever pictures of me, I’d like a moment or two (or ten) to prepare.
"I’m Way Cuter In Person, Trust Me"
I almost hate to admit this, but so many ultrasounds look the same that it’s tricky to really distinguish your baby’s unique features until they’re in front of you. However, just the mere fact that the baby is actually a baby means we can all accept their cuteness at face value.
"Um, You're Squishing Me"
I know, I know. First I was instructed to come with a full bladder to take up some of your space, and then the technician started pushing and poking with that wand. Life in utero is tough.
"Please Get My Good Side"
"I’m your mom. I think all your sides are good sides. In fact, I think all your sides are the best sides that have ever existed so, really, you don’t need to worry about this one."
"How Long Are We Going To Stay Here Like This?"
Hopefully not too much longer, because this is getting uncomfortable for me, too. Although, I'm kinda used to it thanks to this whole pregnancy thing, but I could see how you'd be bored.
"So When Do I Get To Look At You Guys?"
Life's not fair, is it? Here we are totally spying on this little baby, and not even giving him the chance to see us in return. I can only imagine how unfair this feels.
"Technology Is Amazing"
Just you wait, little guy. Just you wait. This is only the beginning.
"Look What I Can Do!"
I'm so proud of you! I have no idea what I'm looking at, but I have a feeling this is the first of many times I will try to encourage you without really knowing what you're doing.
"Same Time Next Week?"
If only. Maybe someday they'll be a market for home ultrasound machines. But, until then, we're at the mercy of the doctor.