11 Totally Unsentimental Things Every Mom Thinks When She's Breastfeeding
Many of us recognize that breastfeeding is this glorious gift between mother and baby and it’s a precious time that we can share with our child and, usually, our baby (or toddler) will look super sweet and loving when they’re nursing. I mean, isn’t motherhood the best? It provides us mothers the opportunity to experience something as lovely and special as breastfeeding and nothing could ever compare and on and on and so forth? Having said that, can we also please recognize that breastfeeding can be tedious and tiring? I'll admit, and more than once, I had some pretty unsentimental thoughts while breastfeeding.
Now, I’m a pretty sentimental person in general (guys, I cried at Coyote Ugly. I’m not proud, but that moment when LeAnn Rimes sings the song Piper Perabo’s character wrote? Just beautiful.) but even I found myself grumbling at different stages of my breastfeeding journey. Sometimes, those grumbles were thanks to a few blocked milk ducts, or mastitis, or various other nipple-related ailments. Sometimes, though, I grumbled during perfectly normal, pain-free nursing sessions on my couch with my phone in hand.
In other words, even when breastfeeding can be semi-comfortable, it can still feel taxing. Even though it is beautiful and wonderful and an amazing part of motherhood, it can be "just another thing you have to do." And so, without further ado, here are some thoughts that ran through my mind when I was feeling less-than-sentimental about breastfeeding. I have a feeling (hopefully) that I'm not alone.
"Here We Go Again"
Didn’t we just do this five minutes ago? All right, maybe it was more like two hours but it feels like five minutes ago, kid. The only thing I’ve ever done this frequently is pee, and that's when I was pregnant and my bladder was being used as a trampoline.
"Where Is My Phone?"
Please join me in a moment of quiet pause on behalf of other moms who forgot to charge their devices prior to breastfeeding. Or who have dropped it out of reach and whose partners (or older kids) are sleeping in the other room. Godspeed, you warrior women, you.
"I Wonder What’s Going On Online..."
While it’s logical to assume that a new mom is distracted and out of sync with current events and cultural trends, I found breastfeeding to be a sufficient time to catch up on various headlines and Justin Bieber happenings. It's a win-win.
"That Girl From High School Is Pregnant Again? No Way!"
Speaking of catching up on things, didn’t she just have her baby like, last week? No judgment here, just complete surprise. Time seems to stand still since the baby was born so it seems almost scientifically impossible that anyone could be with child again.
I now feel a brief wave of solidarity with all the cute cows pictured in my kid’s board books about animals and farms. Thanks, breastfeeding.
"What’s For Dinner?"
I mean, what's for my dinner? Obviously the kid's meal is under control. At least, his first meal is. Second and third dinner are still on the way, and the fourth meal will probably be at some ungodly hour, but I will definitely need to eat before that, no question about it.
"Where’s My Water Bottle?"
Have you ever wanted to know how thirsty one feels after doing CrossFit in the desert during the midday heat of summer? No worries, now you can experience it from the comfort of your own couch.
"One More Feeding Down, 4,543,931 To Go"
My son and I eventually found a breastfeeding groove, but those early months were intense. Every feeding brought a sense of accomplishment on par with college acceptance and getting a new celebrity follower on Twitter. Still, that didn’t mean looking ahead to the long days of breastfeeding still in front of us wasn’t overwhelming and daunting.
"At Least This Kid Is Cute"
At first glance, this thought may actually appear sentimental, but remember we’ve qualified it with “at least.” As in, “At least this kid is cute so I have something to look at while my breasts are being pushed and pulled in impossible ways.”
"What Is It About Sitting Here Silently In The Dark That Makes Me Think About All The Mysteries Of The Universe?"
And, the horror movies I watched as a kid. Surely I’m not the only breastfeeding mom who’s contemplated great ethical quandaries while staring suspiciously at the shadows in the doorway?
"Pretty Sure This Baby Is The Only Person Who’s Seen My Chin From That Angle"
And I’m totally okay with that.