When you think about single moms, you probably don't think about sex. It's too bad, really, because most of the single moms I know are sexy AF. And if a single mom has the time and energy to get some, the other person in the equation should consider themselves lucky. I do have to say, though, that when I was a single mom what qualified as "sexy" was definitely different than what falls into that category now that I'm re-married. Back then, I realized that the hottest things you could do for a single mom were not about sex. At all.
When I first started dating as a single parent, I mainly wanted to be seen as a person... beyond my identity as a single mom. In other words, I wanted to be asked out and even if I knew I had to say no. I also wanted to be wooed. If I spent my precious, all-too-little free-time learning about someone and arranging my life to date them, then I deserved to be treated like a human being and to have them invest at least as much effort in me.
More than anything though, I wanted, and needed, a damn break. So letting me sleep in, offering to stay in with take-out, or doing little things to help make my life easier were oh-so-sexy to me. Cooking for me was absolutely hot, too. The way to my heart, and my bedroom, was definitely my stomach... especially if I didn't have to make the meal and I had the chance to nap afterwards.
My needs, wants, and desires as a dating single mom were definitely different than they are now. I learned that more often than not, the most erotic things you can do for a single mom have nothing at all to do with getting lucky.
Let Her Sleep
As a single mom, what I needed the most was some sleep. After years of handling bedtime, night-time wake-ups, and early rising all on my own, I didn't sleep consistently at night. And because I had to be "on" the rest of the time — at work and at home — I was constantly exhausted.
For single moms, an uninterrupted nap might just be the most erotic thing she's been offered in a while.
Ask Her Out
I was shocked at the number of people who never asked me out — or assumed I would say no — when I was a single parent, as if single parents can't hire a babysitter, or worse, shouldn't date. It was so sexy to let me decide if and when I wanted to go on a date and not assume I was not interested or that single moms don't date.
Talk With Her
As a single mom any adult conversation that's not with my kid's teacher or someone at work has the potential to be erotic. I would go days without talking to someone above the age of 4, so to say I was starved for adult contact was putting it mildly. Text me.
Let Her Spend Some Time Alone
As a single mom, I rarely got time to myself. If I did take a day off or get a sitter, I felt really guilty about it. So yeah, letting me do sexy things things like read a book, go to the store by myself, or get a haircut was hot.
Make Her Life Easier
Hands down, the most erotic thing you can do for a single mom — or any mom really — is make her life easier. So cooking dinner, doing the dishes, running errands, making that phone appointment she's been putting off forever, or even offering to watch the kids while she takes a shower is so erotic.
Tell Her She's Sexy
I think everyone likes and deserves to have someone tell them they look good. As a single mom you get used to people not seeing you as sexy and not telling you that you look good, to the point that it becomes something you don't know you need until you hear it.
Suggest Staying In
Single moms, like any other overworked parent, are generally tired AF. When dating a single mom, remember, sometimes staying in is way more fun — and erotic — than going out. Especially if sleep and food are involved.
Cook For Her
I am no longer a single mom, but I still think there's nothing more erotic than having someone prepare and serve me a meal. Bringing me take-out also qualifies, especially if you also do the dishes afterwards. So hot.
Live Up To Her Expectations
There's nothing more erotic than meeting someone who treats you right, is honest about what they want and need, and who respects the boundaries I set. As a single dating mom I had standards, and those who met them and were consistent about continuing to reach the high bar I had set were so incredibly sexy.
Make Her Laugh
In my book, there's nothing sexier than laughing and being made to laugh by someone who genuinely wants you to feel good. As a single mom I went days without laughing, so anyone or anything who could make me laugh was so desirable.
Ask For Consent
Sometimes, single moms want sex. And when they do, remember that consent is always sexy.
Take Things Slow
It's so important to take things slow when you are trying to woo a single mom. I had so many dates assume that "date" meant sex, and there's nothing less erotic that expecting sex from someone. Letting the relationship move forward at a pace I was comfortable with, however, was incredibly attractive.