Life
I never really thought of myself as basic. I mean, I reject the gender binary, laugh at socially contrived beauty ideals, and kick gender stereotypes to the curb. But when I was pregnant I found myself bump-deep in leggings, weekly Target visits, never-ending Netflix marathons, and "pregnancy update" social media posts. I was on my way to becoming a basic mom. To be honest, I've made peace with being basic, because basic things make me happy. And when I realized there are things every basic pregnant woman does when she wakes up in the morning, and that those things fit perfectly into my schedule, I vowed to never apologize for being the basic pregnant woman, and mom, I am.
Every basic pregnant woman's day starts with coffee, because coffee is life. If her loving partner hasn't picked up her oddly specific Starbuck's order already, chances are she's perfected DIY pumpkin spice lattes at home. Once fortified, she will complete her skin care and makeup routine, following a YouTube tutorial she found for her pregnant skin. Donning her favorite leggings and puffy jacket, she then heads to the gym, but not before taking a bump selfie to document her #pregnancyprogress and post about her morning online. I am a little embarrassed to admit that I did all of those things when I was growing another human being inside my body. Then again, if basic is wrong, I don't think I want to be right.
For the record, I didn't do every "basic girl" thing every day when I was pregnant, or even since my baby was born. I didn't always have the energy for yoga, DIY projects, or trips to Target. I did, however, and with few exceptions, start my day like pretty much every other "basic" pregnant women out there, and I am not ashamed. Let's let our basic flags fly, my friends.
Pees
Pregnancy makes you pee. A lot. Basic pregnant women are no exception. They will, of course, never forget their phone in the other room when they do. How else will they check Facebook?
Coffee
Coffee is life. Basic pregnant women know that it's OK to enjoy coffee or their favorite Starbucks order, in moderation, while pregnant. So, I suggest you avoid getting between us and our favorite caffeinated beverage. Nobody likes the pregnancy police.
Skin Care
Basic women have their skin care routine down pat, like a finely tuned machine. During pregnancy they may have to kiss their retinoids goodbye, and adjust their system to address new skin concerns, because unfortunately pregnancy doesn't make all of us "glow."
Makeup
Every basic woman owns at least one palette, liquid lipstick, or black liner. It's pretty much a given. She generally doesn't leave home without putting a little bit on, even if her liner wings are not on fleek.
Puts On Leggings
Leggings are forever, my friends, especially during pregnancy. Every pregnant basic woman has a ton of comfy leggings, and knows how to dress them up or down for every occasion. I actually don't think I will ever wear anything else, pregnant or not. There's simply no reason jeans should exist.
Takes A Bump Selfie
Every basic pregnant woman documents her pregnancy progress by taking a bump selfie pretty much every day. Oh, and she's a master at applying the right angles and filters, of course. #babybump
Yoga
It seems like every basic woman practices yoga. I am so basic that I also teach yoga, too. As a basic pregnant woman I did yoga pretty much every morning of my pregnancy and until I was put on bed rest. And even after I was forced to follow doctor's orders, I did what I could while seated. It seriously helped with aches, pains, and the pregnancy blues.
Posts On Social Media
Basic pregnant women can't just take bump selfies and practice yoga. Oh no, they have to tell their followers about it and post those pictures on Instagram. #babybump #prenatalyoga #pregnantandbasic
Heads To Target
I am always certain I have time to stop at Target before work for just one, very necessary, totally on sale, practical thing. Of course, that "one thing I need" always turns into 25 things, and at least $100 later I find that I am running late. Again.
Is Late For Work
I used to be the annoying person who was always early or on time for everything. Then I got pregnant, and before I knew it I was a walking, talking, never-on-time basic girl cliché. Now that I have kids, I seriously run late every morning, despite the best of plans and the most sincere of intentions. Maybe "basic" is just a super secret code for human being?
Plans DIY Projects
I planned so many adorable DIY projects for my baby's nursery, shower, and birth announcements. There are virtually millions of cute ideas on the internet. Of course, only a few of these "ideas" actually came to fruition. Pregnancy is exhausting, you guys.
Pees Again
Yeah, all pregnant people have to pee a lot, and basic pregnant women may find that all the Starbucks they enjoy has it's downside. If they are lucky they remembered to pee before their yoga routine.
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