Generally speaking, I try to mean what I say. The whole "passive aggressive" or "ulterior motives" thing? Not my style. That said, sometimes being straightforward is difficult, especially when I have to tell my partner something I know will disappoint him. The most difficult, for me, is saying "no" to sex. Admitting that "I don't feel like it" doesn't sound all that hard, but I don't want to hurt his feelings. So, I say I'm tired, which is why I know there are things a mom really means when she says she's "too tired" to have sex.
It's not that I like lying to him, because I really don't. At the same time, though, if a little white lie means I can blame my lack of libido on sleep deprivation, and spare his feelings, I am not at all sorry. Having babies has changed the way I feel about my sexuality in so many ways. For one, giving birth did a number on my self-esteem. I don't look the same, feel the same, and my body doesn't work the way it used to. For the longest time I didn't feel good, let alone sexy, and I was so exhausted. Plus, childbirth made me realize that "sexy" isn't the only thing I bring to the table. I shouldn't be forced to view sex as a chore, and no one should have sex out of a sense of obligation or if they don't really want to.
So yeah, sometimes I might say I am too tired for sex, when I really mean so many other things, including the following: