Pregnant bodies do weird-ass things. Weird-ass, gross things. I mean, my pregnant body did (twice), and I have long-suspected I'm not alone. So I asked other moms to share the most disgusting part of their pregnancy and I learned that, not only am I not alone, but I can't compete with some of the weird sh*t that goes on out there. Friends, I salute each and every one of you.
When I say disgusting, that might sound a little harsh. After all, who wants to be called "disgusting," right? Rest assured pregnant people (or soon-to-be pregnant people, or thinking about being pregnant people, or previously pregnant people), you are not disgusting. Not even a tiny bit. But damned if some disgusting smells, sights, and fluids will not emerge from your nether regions (and everywhere else) while you're gestating. If you're lucky, it will just be disgusting, and not disgusting and painful. Or you could hit the lucky trifecta of "disgusting, painful, and persistent."
Am I frightening you?
Be afraid, b*tches. Be very afraid.
Meanwhile, all the previously pregnant people in the audience are laughing as we think, "Oh yeah, been there and done that, honey." We like to swap our proverbial war stories from time to time. It lets us realize all we've endured and how far we've come. So if you feel like pulling up a seat with the other pregnancy veterans (or if you feel like you're up for a run with the big dogs) gather round, my darlings.