So you're pregnant in November! Congratulations! Being pregnant in November is the best! While it sometimes gets painted as dreary or boring, I think of it as a kind of magical "in-between" time; the cozy waiting room between fall and the coming of winter where we all patiently ready ourselves for the end of the year.
In other words, this is the perfect time to be pregnant, whether you just peed on a stick or your turkey is just about ready to come out of the oven.
I mean, just think about it! The weather! The holidays! The food! The fact that it's been a goddamn year and there's finally a light at the end of the tunnel! But there are particular perks that come along with being pregnant in the month of November and you, friend, are lucky enough to enjoy them.
Sometimes being pregnant can be really hard any time of the year, physically and emotionally. But if you find yourself struggling, remind yourself of the following list of magical moments that will happen when you're pregnant in the second-to-last month of the year.
Because The Tyranny Of Pedicure Season Has Ended
And good riddance.
Look, I like treating myself the same as everyone else and, yeah, sometimes it's nice to have your feet perfectly polished and massaged. But you know what I don't like? The pressure that I have to. I also don't like spending $45 (after tip) every couple of weeks.
"Just do it at home, Jamie!" you say.
To which I say, "Ever try to reach your toes pregnant?" Hard pass.
Because Halloween Candy Is On Sale
If you're not going to eat an enormous bag of fun-sized Snickers when you're pregnant what's even the point, you guys?
Since you haven't been trick-or-treating for a while, gone are the days of free Halloween candy. (At least not until you have kids and can quietly dip into their stash every night after they go to bed.)
But, come Nov. 1, you can get it for basically free. Go to the sale section of your local grocery store or pharmacy and they're practically giving it away! You can get an entire bag of peanut butter cups for, like, a dollar! And those things really don't go bad so you can keep them indefinitely. Be generous in your estimates of how much you'll require for the rest of your pregnancy.
Because You Can Wear All The Leggings All The Time
Because pregnancy fashions are all about comfort and what's more comfortable than a good pair of leggings? The best part: everyone is wearing them right now, so you don't stick out at all! Slap on a pair of boots and a big-ass tunic sweater and you're set for the rest of the winter. Leggings are, for sure, a pregnancy MVP.
Because It's Officially Sweater Weather
It's not just the cozy sweaters (though, OMG, yes please!). It's the fact that at last you have a handle on what's going on outside. October, lovely as it is, sometimes throws you for a loop. It'll be 40 degrees in the morning only to get up to 80 degrees in the afternoon and the only thing worse than being overheated in the middle of the day is being pregnant and overheated in the middle of the day. But November? We know that leggings, boots, and long sleeves are probably a good bet.
Unless you live in Hawaii or Los Angeles or something, in which case you still always know what to wear because it's always more or less 85 degrees year-round so you get to enjoy that feeling all the time. Mazel tov.
Because Daylight Saving Time
There's a lot to be said for the crappiness of Daylight Saving Time and switching clocks and all that. Honestly, I'd rather just not deal with it at all. But, if we must have it, let us have it when we are pregnant and sleepy and just want to give in to our desire to sleep all the time. Get that extra hour in without feeling lazy!
Because Earlier Sunsets = Earlier Bedtime
What do we want?!
The ability to go to bed at 8 p.m. without being judged because growing a human is exhausting.
When do we want it?!
Good news! Now that it's dark at, like, lunchtime, an earlier bedtime is less conspicuous! The sun set hours ago! It's only natural you, too, should hit the hay!
Because Elections Can Make You Feel Powerful Again
Pregnancy can be truly empowering — the knowledge that your body is always working to create a being that, in time, will be able to live completely independent from you is inspiring. But at the same time, being pregnant can be scary, vulnerable, and make you feel like you're not in control of your own body anymore.
But you know what can make you feel like you're in control again? Pulling that lever, mama! Democracy can't work without you!
Because You Have Fewer Social Obligations
We're somewhere between Halloween party season and Holiday Party season and, for a few weeks, all is quiet and glorious and your pregnant ass doesn't have to be anywhere but on your couch watching true crime documentaries and Lifetime movies, just as nature intended.
Because Oscar-Bait Seasons Means Everyone Will Be Crying
Along with a growing belly and weird food cravings, pregnancy brings with it a lot of hormones that just give you all the feels. And a lot of the time it's a battle not to cry at things that other people would deem frivolous or stupid but do they even see how cute that squirrel is you guys?!
But this is Oscar-bait season, where a whole lot of well-made, inspirational movies with terrific performances come out and provide an amazing outlet for sobbing in front of strangers. You deserve that kind of release.
Because There Are A Lot Of Weird Holidays That Are Perfect For Pregnant Folks
Like all months, November is full of officially-but-not-really-real holidays, but this month there are so many that are catered to pregnant sensibilities.
For example, did you know that November is National Peanut Butter Lovers Month? It's also National Sleep Comfort Month, and to whom is that more important than those among us who need 58 more pillows than normal to get comfortable? And, of course, there's my personal favorite, National Sandwich Day.
Because It's Snuggle Season
And hey, if you're not the snuggle type this is, of course, entirely optional. But if gestating has stirred inside of you the desire to do little but hunker down under a blanket with bae, well, this is the perfect time of year for it!
Because You'll Have A Good Amount Of Days Off
November presents a number of possibilities for days off, should you want to skip out on the whole 9 to 5 when you're growing a human inside your body 24/7. There's Election Day, Veterans Day, Thanksgiving, and the Friday after Thanksgiving. Of course not everyone gets these days off, but at least the possibility is there for some of the luckiest among us!
Because If You're Giving Birth This Month, You've Got A Scorpio Or A Sagittarius
Because You'll Get The Best Of Fall & Winter
Leaves are still out... but it might snow! There are still decorative gourds strewn about... but the halls are decked with boughs of holly. It's a lovely time of year where the best of fall and the best of winter are living side by side in perfect harmony. And while this little set-up is great for everyone, as a pregnant person who is frequently beset upon with annoying symptoms (round ligament pain, sciatica, nausea, general discomfort) you could use this pick-me-up more than anyone.
Because You Can Cut The Line For The Flu Shot
Flu season is upon us folks, which isn't a good thing. And every now and then, communities will bump into flu vaccine shortages. But, because of your bump, you've got a VIP status when it comes to getting your shot (which, most years, is between 40 and 60% effective) along with the elderly, children, and people with bronchial conditions or compromised immune systems! So, hooray! No flu for you, mama!
Because You Can Get Out Of Your Partner's Family's Annual Turkey Trot
Why those weirdos want to wake up early to run is beyond you, but every year they're all excited about running a 5K in the freezing cold before working all day to put a huge dinner on the table and... no thanks.
Most years you either do it just to avoid judgmental side-eye or you endure the side-eye. But this year? "Oh, you know how much I look forward to exercise first thing in the morning but *pats belly* doctor's orders!"
Enjoy spreading out on the couch and watching the parade without distractions!
*wildly gestures to all the carbs and gravy*
Because The Weird Food Combinations Are Endless
As a pregnant person, you've likely been mocked for your sudden bizarre tastes. Pickles and ice cream. Ham and jelly. But all of a sudden everyone's going all in on mixing as many foods as possible together on one plate for a taste of Thanksgiving bliss.
There's nothing more tragic than going to the fridge at midnight because you can't sleep (one of the 58 pillows moved three quarters of an inch and threw your back out) and discovering there's nothing you want to eat. Only a sad bagged salad that you bought when you were pressured into eating healthier. But Thanksgiving leftovers mean you're covered for the rest of the damn month.
Because You Can Take Advantage Of Your Pregnant Status On Black Friday
Just lay a hand dramatically on your belly so people feel guilty and end up giving you their spot in line. If someone gets the last of something on a shelf, fake some contractions and, when they go to get help, snag it out of their cart and run (or waddle) like hell.
Because It's A Time For Excitement
Being pregnant and/or having a baby during the holidays makes an already magical time of year all the more enchanting. And even if this isn't your absolute favorite time of the year, you're going to have a baby. OMG it's going to be so exciting.