When you become a mom you're quickly categorized and thrown into a sub-set of other moms. This is especially true if you spend any time on social media whatsoever, and go so far as to share your parenting decisions with other people. And while the internet can be a great source of support and solidarity, it can also be a hellscape filled with judgment, shame, and unnecessary comments. So believe me when I say there are more than a few legit reasons to unfriend that one mom in your social media mom group who always seems to bring you down. As a parent, you don't have time to be constantly navigating the landmines of someone else's negativity.
I don't hate social media, for what it's worth. It's such a great way to connect with friends, family, and other like-minded people who are undoubtably going through the same parenting situations I am currently experiencing. But my friend list has grown smaller and smaller over the years, and there are some pretty understandable reasons why. I have no qualms unfriending someone who is going to make me feel bad abut myself, my parenting decisions, or the other life choices I make and feel like sharing with people. If you're going to criticize every parenting move I make, you've gotta go.
As a work-from-home mom caring for two children, I am protective of my time and my emotional labor. And while I always want to give people the benefit of the doubt, I am not going to be a social media doormat for that one mom who just has to point out what she perceives as flaws in my parenting game. I want to be cordial, and I want to be agreeable and kind to everyone, but as women and mothers we need to feel comfortable drawing a line in the sand for the sake of our mental health and wellbeing. So with that in mind, if you have had just about enough with that "one mom," and we all know who she is, here are a few reasons why you shouldn't feel bad about hitting that unfriend button and calling it a day:
She's Constantly Dissecting Your Parenting Choices
Even if you believe she has the best of intentions, there's nothing wrong with unfriending that one mom who just can't seem to keep her opinions to herself. If she wants to dissect your choice to bottle-feed or co-sleep or sleep-train or breastfeed, get her out of your social media life. You don't have to explain yourself, or your parenting decisions, to anyone.
She Leaves Judgmental Comments On Every Posted Picture
If I post a picture of my children it's because I'm feeling particularly proud of them, I want to keep our distant family members up to date, or both. I am not posting pictures so a mom can critique them like some kind of art critic. The pictures I post are usually representations of very happy moments I felt were worth documenting. If you're going to ruin that by pointing out some negative aspect of whatever the picture represents, I'm going to hit that unfriend button.
She Constantly Debates You Publicly
It's one thing to agree to disagree, but it's another thing to constantly bring politics into a post that, really, is just a mom talking about her experiences. You don't need a mom starting drama for the sake of argument. This person is less of a friend and more of a troll, and there's really no positive reason for keeping them around.
She's Constantly Starting Drama
The mom who seems to always be in an argument, always fighting, always in the middle of some scandal, and always gossiping is the mom who thrives on drama. As a mother to two kids, and a mom who works from home, I can tell you that I absolutely do not need more drama in my life. So if you have a drama mama on your news feed, my advice is to rid yourself of that toxicity ASAP.
She Only Reaches Out To You When She Needs A Favor
When my first child was a toddler I had one "friend" who only talked to me if she needed a babysitter for her daughter. That's it. It was a one-sided relationship that consisted of me watching her kid for hours on end. Eventually, I said enough is enough and hit that lovely unfriend button.
She Constantly Brags
I am all for celebrating yourself and your accomplishments, especially when you're a mom and the tremendous things you do for your family are often overlooked and under-appreciated. But if you have that one mom friend who does nothing but talk about how amazing she is, how amazing her kids are, and how awesome everything is going, you start to realize that she isn't being genuine... like, at all. If her facade is making you feel bad about your own life, I suggest unfriending and surrounding yourself with people who are real about parenthood and all it entails.
She's Constantly Negative
Again, I'm all for being real and for talking about the not-so-glamorous parts of motherhood. Authenticity is always a good thing, in my opinion, and I don't think it hurts anyone to be brave enough to avoid sugarcoating parenthood. But if a friend is nothing but negative, and only offers a glass-half-empty version of life, then you're going to eventually feel weighed down by that energy. There has to be a balance, because if all I see on my feed is a mom stressing and complaining and promising me that it never gets any better, I'm going to be negatively impacted. Ain't nobody got time for that, my friends.