As a new mom to two kids under 2, I'm acutely aware of what works and doesn't work when it comes to life with two small humans. In fact, 95 percent of life is spent trying to figure out the logistics of moving two tiny humans around while making sure everyone gets what they need when they need it. There are a lot of things that would be helpful to a mom of multiple littles, and avoiding the cruelest things you could do to a mom with two kids under 2 definitely tops the list. Sometimes it's not about what you do, but about what you don't do, that can make all the different to an exhausted, sleep-deprived, overwhelmed mom.
I'm currently a mom to a 21-pound almost-2-year-old and a 5 pound 2-week-old. Luckily, we don't have to leave the house very often yet, but when we do, it's just about all I can do to figure out how we're going to get in and out of places and how I'm going to manage to corral my daughter while keeping my newborn son happy. Like most soon-to-be 2-year-olds, my daughter doesn't exactly listen to reason, and she certainly isn't able to walk on her own for very long without going rogue. Sidewalks? Yeah, well, we're still working on that concept, along with the concept of holding hands in parking lots.
Because so many people have kids two years (or a little less) apart, it's easy to think that it's somehow totally manageable. Well, I'm realizing it's sort of not. Give me a few months and hopefully I'll have another story to report, but until then, here's a list of the cruelest things you could possibly do to a mom with two kids under 2:
Refuse To Hold The Door
I mean, come on. Did you just somehow not see me right in front of you, trying to wrangle my toddler while carrying an infant car seat? There's literally no way I can open the door and not lose a child. Help a mama out, you guys.
Ask To Make Last Minute Plans
Having two kids under 2, for me at least, means needing time to plan and mentally prepare for whatever daily life entails. If you change our plans or give me a call 10 minutes before we're supposed to meet and ask to do something different? Well, let's just say if I don't have a meltdown on the spot it'll be a damn miracle. And if I manage to keep my you-know-what together, the first thing you'll hear is, "Um, no."
Pick A Busy Park For A Play Date
Busy parks are terrifying with just one kid, but two kids? No thanks. I'll risk driving 30 minutes away with screaming kids in the back seat to avoid worrying about where my older child has run off to while trying to hold and/or feed the new baby.
Judge Us In The Grocery Store
Because the grocery store is literally hell for a mom of two kids under 2. There's too much temptation for a toddler to handle, and too much multitasking necessary for a mom with two kids. Usually, my only goal while grocery shopping is to leave the store before someone throws a fit. So really and truly, there's no reason to add to a mom's grocery shopping misery. Keep the eyebrow-raising to yourself.
Drop By During Nap Time
Make A Vague Comment About How Busy We Are
This one has been perplexing and annoying me in the last few weeks. I only have two kids, and they're mostly well-behaved(ish), so what do you call it when I have three kids (or more), if my hands are already full with two?
Also, it's not like I'm not aware of how busy I am. Trust me when I say that every single parent tasked with keeping another human being, let alone two, alive is fully aware of just how busy they are. No need to make a comment, unless it's followed by an offer to help.
Offer The Younger Kid Something The Older One Can't Have
We are still in the jealous phase where my daughter thinks she needs literally everything her baby brother has or gets. That means pacifiers, diapers, bottles, presents; you name it, she wants it. If you don't have something for my daughter, come back when she's napping. I know this phase will end soon as she adjusts to being an older sibling, but in the meantime believe me when I say that nothing, and I mean nothing (yes, even that super cute onesie you have) is worth another damn toddler tantrum.