I love my son, so I'm not trying to trade him in or anything. Having said that, I have to admit that there are moments when I wouldn’t mind parenting someone else, too. You know, someone different. Hell, someone not necessarily real. In fact, there are more than a few fictional kids I wish I could parent, if only because they at least appear to be capable of making motherhood so much easier — or at least a touch more exciting — than it really is.
I won't lie: I’m a lazy parent. And as a lazy parent I definitely don’t want to parent any more energetic kids because, believe me, one is plenty. So all of these chill fiction kids that love to be independent? Let me adopt them immediately. I also find myself being very maternal towards kid characters that have a quirky sense of humor, and enjoy rocking out to the very same music that I adore. And since nostalgic shows set in the 80s is a thing these days, there are more than a few fictional kid characters to choose from.
Again, it's not that I don't like parenting my own child or wish he could be like any of the fake kids listed below. My son is perfect just the way he is. But motherhood can be monotonous and sometimes it's great to simply stretch your imagination and envision what it would be like to parent the following fictional characters:
Matilda Wormwood From 'Matilda'
Roald Dahl’s Matilda is the ultimate autodidact. This gifted youngster was reading at a college-level by the time she was in kindergarten and, of course, she was self-taught. I’d definitely want to rescue her from her awful parents, and then see if she can teach me some of her super sweet telekinetic skills.
Huey Freeman From 'The Boondocks'
This show should have never been canceled. Period. Plus, I would want to parent Huey not because he needs parenting (little dude is independent AF), but mainly to just be supportive. Huey obviously has a good head on his shoulders, but I think he needs a guardian who will drive him to the demonstration, join him for some direct action, or help him with his future political campaign. I am totally willing to be that person.
Rory Gilmore From 'Gilmore Girls'
I always envisioned myself having a daughter who was also a best friend, just like Miss Rory Gilmore. Rory is incredibly bright, respectful, and super chill. I want to travel with her around Europe and sew her costumes and tease her about her perfect boyfriends and take her to Atlantic City for her 21st birthday.
All The Kids On ‘Stranger Things’
Of course I would want to parent Eleven, but if Hopper won’t relinquish his fatherly duties I’d be more than happy to play mom to any of the other kiddos. They’re fun, they’re funny, they’re loyal, and more importantly, they get stuff done — even if it means dealing with scary monsters in the Upside Down.
Addie Loggins From 'Paper Moon'
If you’ve never seen the 1970s classic Paper Moon, well, you have some work to do. The film stars a young Tatum O’Neil as Addie Loggins, a whip-smart, gender-bending orphan who quickly learns how to hustle alongside a conman. Sure, that might make parenting her a bit difficult, but I believe I could help her hone her smarts into a more positive direction.
Pete Wrigley From 'The Adventures Of Pete & Pete'
The Adventures of Pete & Pete is one of my favorite TV shows of all time, and that’s probably due to their namesakes. While Big Pete was always pretty cool and laid back, I think I’d want to parent little Pete most of all. I mean, the kid had a radio show from his basement, started a rock band, was a champion dodgeball player, had a badass mermaid tattoo, and he even had his own personal superhero. How would parenting him not be a totally wicked experience?
Harriet M. Welsch From 'Harriet The Spy'
Who wouldn’t want to parent a budding spy? I always thought it would be really cool to be Harriet. And as an adult, I think it would be easily just as cool to be her mom. I’d love to listen to all the stories and information she picked up while at school or during her afternoon spying around town. And, of course, I’d teach her a few things about being safe so she could proceed with caution.
Danny Torrance From 'The Shining'
I know he’s a bit creepy, but hear me out. First, if I were his mom I wouldn’t take him to the Stanley Hotel for an entire snowed-in winter. Second, his “gift” might prove to be useful (in more ways than escaping your axe-wielding, murderous, possessed father). Plus when he’s not being creepy, he’s pretty adorable. But if I see any creepy twins or bloody hallways while I’m with him, I’m out.
