8 Things I Love To Hate About My Co-Parent

by Emily Westbrooks

I love my parenting partner, to be sure, but there are more than a few moments when he drives me absolutely bananas. While 99 percent of the time we're pretty much in sync, for at least five minutes (every single day, mind you) I realize there are things I love to hate about my parenting partner, too. From his inability to pick a suitable outfit for our daughter, to his ability to sleep through anything, he's definitely been dangerously close to pushing me off the deep end on a number of occasions.

For example, as we were getting ready for the day this morning — scrambling around and trying to get the toddler dressed, fed, and out the door — I asked my husband to grab me a few hair ties so I could wrangle our daughter's hair into a pony before we left. No response. I asked again. Still crickets. Turns out he was outside throwing away a diaper because, for some reason I probably will never understand, he hates our diaper genie. He went on an outside, slow-going journey to our garbage can, while I was left inside and in the trenches. Alone. If I could count up all the minutes he wastes insisting on bringing the diapers outside, I could take a week off work. Yes, I'm serious.

Parenting with someone is, for the most part, like having a really uppity business partner who gets to have at least 50 percent control of your company at all times. It's a wonderful experience and provides you with a certain kind of intimacy, but it's also an exercise in patience and letting things go on a daily basis. So, yes, I love my partner dearly, I'm so thankful we're raising our daughter together, and I've simply come to realize that the things I love to hate about him are just part of the package deal.

He's The Fun One

Now, to be fair I'm pretty fun most days, too. But my partner is the one who can cope with sitting through more than seven minutes of a Disney movie and for that, I'm pretty sure he's going to be the favorite until my daughter is at least 12.

He Lets Our Daughter Fake Brush Her Teeth

I guess I could blame his Irish upbringing, where there isn't nearly as large an emphasis on dental hygiene as there are in the United States. Either way, my partner is perfectly fine with letting our daughter "brush" her own teeth before going to bed.

She's a little over 1 year old, dude. Can't you see she's just sucking the toothpaste off?

He Can Go To Bed When The House Is A Disaster

This is very much a personality difference, but how is it possible for a person to be able to totally ignore the absolute disaster our daughter made throughout the day? I mean, the wreckage makes it nearly impossible for us to walk through our living room. How in the world do you sleep soundly, knowing that's waiting for you in the morning?

He Hates The Diaper Genie

I'm honestly not sure what he has against the diaper genie, but he almost never uses it. He's more apt to walk all the way out to the trash cans at the end of the lot to dispose of the seemingly radioactive dirty diaper, which is, of course, the most annoying thing to add to the list when you're trying to get out of the house.

He Doesn't Know What It Means For Clothes To "Clash"

Honestly, for the most part I don't care if my daughter's "look" makes it seem like my family hasn't done laundry in six months. Still, there are days when I wish my partner could at least manage to put together an outfit that didn't make our toddler look like a clown.

He Can Sleep Through Anything

This has always been the case, as well as being able to fall asleep absolutely anywhere. Still, I never realized how useful those two skills could be until we had a baby and it suddenly became my responsibility to monitor her during nighttime hours. You know, because he could sleep through a five alarm fire.

He Can Stop Our Kid's Whining With A Single Look

While I, meanwhile, cannot. No matter how much I try, my daughter literally looks at my stern face, giggles, then continues to whine until she gets her way or gives up. Argh.

"Dada" Is Our Daughter's Favorite Word

My daughter will ask for "dada" from morning to night and at all hours of the day. She wants to know his whereabouts at all times and starts repeating his name the minute I pick her up at day care to the minute he walks in the door from work. It's adorable, until it's exhausting.