I know firsthand how important it is to have a good relationship with your doctor. If you don’t, you’re much less likely to let her know if you have a problem, or to get help when you need it. Unfortunately, it seems like there are a ton of questions your OB-GYN will ask you that might inadvertently make you feel some major mom guilt... and lose that trust.
On the face, some of them don’t seem so bad. I mean, I’m sure my doctor didn’t realize my struggles with breastfeeding would mean her nonchalant inquiries about it would make me feel like crap. There are also questions like, "how is the baby sleeping," or "is she sleeping through the night, yet?" Which can make you feel totally sh*tty, if the answers are "terrible," and "hell, no." Then there were questions that feel subtly body shaming about pregnancy weight gain and postpartum weight loss. They made me feel pressured to do the impossible and totally contributed to my feelings of failure. We have really got to start cutting moms some slack.
I've had OB-GYNs question whether or not I should take medicine for nausea and depression, whether I should be induced (for freaking medical reasons), and whether or not I "really wanted" an epidural. These made me feel like I was hurting my baby by taking care of my health and that’s not OK. While I know that it’s important for healthcare providers to ask us questions about sensitive topics, I also know that there’s this thing called "bedside manner" that can improve patient relationships and generate trust, which is so important. So there are quite a few things that I wish my OB-GYN hadn't asked, including the following: