When I was pregnant with my son, I tried really hard to be chill but didn't have much success. There’s much to be nervous about and worry about and be concerned with. Every new stage of pregnancy and every new twinge set off a flood of new questions and sent me straight to Google for reassurance (which I don’t recommend). I relished my prenatal appointments for the information they provided, but I was also desperate for more details. My ultrasound appointments were no exception. Even though I knew better, there were still plenty of inappropriate questions I could have asked my sonographer.
Unlike my regular doctor, I wasn’t going to see the sonographer regularly so I didn’t have a long-term relationship to consider. Ultimately, this was one of the reasons why I made it a point to be on my best behavior; I didn’t want to leave the impression that I was rude or unappreciative or totally ignorant of social norms, which are pretty much the main reasons why I make it a point to "behave" in public and around other human beings.
Still, had I been able to really dig deep and ask the burning questions I had, I would have come away with a lot more information about my baby, a lot more reassurance about my pregnancy, and a lot my curiosities curbed. in the end, you live and learn, and you bet your you-know-what that if and/or win I ever end up doing this whole pregnancy thing again, I won't hold back asking the following questions:
"Please Tell Me Everything That You’re Not Supposed To Tell Me"
I have no doubt that I would make a horrible ultrasound technician, because I have a terrible poker face. When I was getting ultrasounds, there were things that were shared with me during the procedure, and things that only my doctor could share, after she interpreted the images. At the time, I was grateful for the information I was getting but, you know, the more information the better.
"Am I The Most Pleasant Pregnant Person You’ve Ever Encountered?"
I mean, my sonographer had spent more time around pregnant women than I ever have. Their approval would have meant a lot for my shaky self-confidence.
"Are You Sure You Can’t Tell The Sex Yet? Can You Please Try Again?"
I mean, self-driving cars are on the horizon. You’re telling me that machine still won’t pick up on my child’s sex organs for another eight weeks? What If I shift angles?
"Would You Be Saying That If You Saw Something Abnormal?"
I didn’t ask this, because I’m not sure I wanted to know the answer. What might come next? More information or another reminder that I’ll need to talk to my doctor. It’s been years, and I’m practically sweating just thinking about it.
"Can You Please Reassure Me That My Pregnancy Looks Totally And Completely Normal?"
I mean, I know you just said that you’re deferring to my doctor, but seriously, even just a head nod? A blink? Maybe blink twice?
"Can You Please Reassure Me That I’m Totally And Completely Normal?"
You’re probably sensing a theme here. I can’t be the only pregnant woman who was wondering this kind of stuff, right? You know what, don't answer that.
"My Baby Is The Cutest One You’ve Ever Seen, Right?"
Actually, now that I think about this, it would have been pretty funny to ask this. If anyone out there has an ultrasound coming up, feel free to give it a try. If my memory serves correctly, the technicians I had would probably have played along, so everyone would win.
"Seriously Though, How Much Can We Really Tell From These Blurry Images?"
I can admit it, my ultrasound pictures looked pretty much like every other ultrasound picture I’ve ever seen. It was amazing and wonderful to see but, at that stage, I couldn’t see any of my baby’s defining characteristics. However, if my sonographer had been able to point some out? Well, I'm sure I would have been all over it.
"What’s The Most Ridiculous Way You’ve Seen Someone Use Their Ultrasound Pictures?"
All right, I can admit it. I spend a lot of time online, so I’m a bit worn out of the viral pregnancy reveal. Not to say I didn’t participate when it came time to share the news of my son’s impending arrival, but having a number of friends in similar life stages as me means that I’ve seen dozens since. Still, I can’t help but imagine that a sonographer has seen and heard about reveals crazier and sillier than I can possibly imagine.