When you're a mother, not a day goes by that you don't think about your children. Maybe you drop your kids off at school, then go to the store and see something they’d like. Maybe you're with a friend, but she brings her child and you instantly miss your own. Maybe you drive past a school and wonder how your kid is doing in class. You constantly think about your kid, and the same holds true for loss moms. In fact, there are so many ways I remember the baby I lost every day.
I can understand how, to some, thinking about a baby that died might seem or sound or appear strange. However, it really isn't. It isn't morbid or a form of masochism. I’m not living in the past or living in grief. I'm not "refusing to move on." It’s been several years since I lost my daughter to prematurity, and while the fact that she’s no longer with us does always fill me with sadness, I am also so happy to think of her. I like remembering who she was and thinking about who she might have been, because she was a real person. She lived a short life, but she lived nonetheless. She was with me, for however brief a moment, and her existence is more than worth remembering.
So while some moms are thinking about their kids in daycare while they're perusing the cereal aisle, or wondering how they're kid is doing in class when they pass a school, I'm remembering my daughter in the following ways, each and every day: