One the many “fun” side effects of being pregnant, having the intense need to pee all the time is arguably one of the worst. I remember going to a movie right around the start of my pregnancy with my son, and probably missing about half the show thanks to his presence in my bladder. And the "best" part? It only gets worse the more your baby grows. But at least we can collectively laugh at the experience via stories from pregnant women kind enough to share the worst moment they needed to pee. We're all in this together, right?
I can definitely remember the worst "I have to get to the nearest bathroom as soon as possible" moment when I was pregnant. I was considered a high-risk pregnancy, and at around five months my OB-GYN noticed my cervix was getting way too short, way too fast. I was immediately admitted to have an emergency cerclage placed. The procedure was successful, but they had to give me an epidural, which left me unable to do much for the next few hours. That didn’t stop my bladder from needing to go, though.
The nurses tried to give me a bedpan a few times, but trying to pee in a bed pan in a crowded room (the recovery room was actually an area where many pregnant women and new moms were recovering from various procedures) is nearly impossible. Even when I went to my own private room it was difficult to go, even though I felt the need to go so badly. I cried for a bit, you guys. It was just that bad. Fortunately, with the help of my husband and a kind nurse, I was finally able to do my business. And while my story might not be as relevant to everyone, I will say that these next few stories will very likely resonate with all you expecting mamas out there:
“I drank a 33 ounce Big Gulp so I'd have a full bladder for an ultrasound. I was so full the tech made me go pee some because it was impeding the procedure.”
“Only once while I was pregnant did I wet myself. I was sure I didn't have to go that bad and I was running late for work, so I walked past the restroom instead of stopping. A few steps later, I felt a sprinkle. So much for being on time!”
“I once wet myself in the checkout line at a grocery store. I told people my water broke. They moved me to the front of the line, checked me out like lightning, and cleaned up after me while congratulating me like crazy.”
“I was nine months, woke up bursting for a pee, and tried to run to the bathroom. Unfortunately my little grey cat thought that it was a fine time to do his rub all over and twine in and out of my ankles thing. Yeah, I peed on his head.”
“I was in the Navy stationed on a carrier when I was pregnant with my first kid. I had to stand watch as shutdown reactor operator. Six hours on and six hours off for the duty day. I filled up pages of the logbook signing in and out for watch reliefs. There was no way I’d have ever made it six hours. Luckily, I worked with some pretty good people (who probably also didn’t want to sit in a chair that I’d peed in).”
“I was only 27 and seven months pregnant, but it was my very first time seeing comedian George Carlin in real life. I had to leave my seats five times! Anyone who knows Carlin knows that usually that means the patron is offended and is leaving. The people around me weren’t mad until the fourth time. They high-fived me the third time before I came back in. The fifth time, I just stood against the wall after peeing. I did not want to miss him live but I was laughing too hard and it hurt to hold it!”
“I don’t have any terribly memorable moments, but the multiple Starbucks cups I peed in while stuck in traffic (as a passenger) might say otherwise. Basically when you gotta go, you gotta go.”
“I was 32 weeks pregnant with my second, on the RFK bridge in NYC. Cars were not moving. I held it as long as I could, and wound up peeing into two of my daughter's diapers. Gotta go, you gotta go.”
“First baby. Bumper to bumper traffic coming back from Hurricane Rita. Everything everywhere was closed. We ended up pulling over off the highway on a dirt road and as I crouched beside the car to pee, four ATV vehicles came out of the woods with their lights on me. I was almost finished and just had to stay there and hope they didn’t see me, but I’m pretty sure they did.”
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