9 Reasons Being Pregnant On Halloween Is The Absolute Worst

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My first baby’s due date was the week before Halloween. That made my husband so excited, since it’s his favorite “holiday” and he couldn’t wait to initiate his firstborn into his passion for all things spooky. I was looking forward to dressing the baby in some teensy Star Wars costume, sure, but then Oct. 31 came and went and, well, no baby. Being almost 10 months pregnant on Halloween is the worst, not only because it dashed our dreams of celebrating with a new little creature, but because I spent the day worrying my water would break handing out fun sized Milky Ways to costume-clad children.

I never considered how having a baby might affect the everyday life stuff, but being pregnant on days like Halloween definitely illuminated how nothing is the same when there’s a kid on your mind (and in your body). I never thought much about where bathrooms are located before I had a kid in utero pressing on my bladder, and I definitely never thought about how my enjoyment of seasonal holidays, where you pay particular attention to your appearance, could affect me while pregnant, especially as someone dealing with body image issues.

I didn’t hate being pregnant, but it was kind of the worst on Halloween, for these reasons:

Because Costume Options Are Limited

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My costume tendencies leaned toward the classic (Marilyn Monroe) or the esoteric (wearing kitty ears, posting a “Xerox” sign on my back, and calling myself a “copycat”). With my bulbous proportions on Halloween, already a week past my due date, I had to get really creative with my costume to accommodate my shape, or just bow out of dressing up. I wore orange sneakers and called it a day.

Because You’ll Have To Endure Everyone’s "Brilliant" Costume Idea

I did not want to go as Mother Earth, with the globe painted on my belly, or as upside down person with a face on my midriff and pants on my head. And these were the better suggestions I was presented with by people eager to come up with the perfect costume for my nine-months pregnant self.

Because Getting Up Every Five Minutes To Answer The Door Is Exhausting

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I loved seeing adorable trick-or-treaters. I hated having to lumber over to the door to greet them over and over again. And living in New York City, leaving our apartment door propped open or a basket of candy out in front of it, trusting kids to just take one piece and leave enough for others, were never options.

Because You Want All The Candy…

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While pregnancy wasn’t an excuse to eat all the candy, it definitely gave me a sense of entitlement to do so. Several weeks before Halloween, I succumbed to my candy corn craving… as in, I had most of the bag in one sitting. My daughter turned out fine. I mean, she does have a lot of energy but I’m sure it can’t be attributed to that singular incident of The Great Halloween Candy Binge.

… But You Can’t Have All The Candy

Apparently it’s for the children IRL and not the one who keeps hiccuping in utero. It was frustrating to want to dive into all the bags of sweets, my cravings more intense when pregnant than they had been before conceiving a baby, and have to fight the urge (save for that one time with the candy corn and I refuse to harbor regrets about that). But I really did have to fight the urge because it wasn’t just my body I was trying to take care of but that of a whole other person growing inside me.

Because You Have Limited Tolerance For Halloween Parties

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I’ve always loved themed parties and even though I’m not a huge horror fan, dressing up is always fun. But most Halloween parties, for adults, take place well after the bedtime I had established as an exhausted pregnant person. And there are only so many of those severed finger appetizers I could eat sober.

Because People Will Mistake Your Natural Pregnant Self For a Costume

No, I’m not going as Homer Simpson or Ursula the Sea Witch. My protruding gut is the real deal and represents how miraculous a woman’s body can be. I couldn’t believe people actually asked me what I was dressed as, when I was outside on Halloween, at 41 weeks pregnant. “I’m… an actual pregnant person,” I’d respond, much to their disappointment.

Because Jump Scares Are Just Cruel

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My horror-loving husband dedicates the month of October to scary movies. Because I love him (and because he tolerates my cheesy sitcom viewing), I join him on the couch for our annual fright fest. But being pregnant takes scary stuff to a new level. Not only was I more sensitive to watching people in dangerous situations (thank you hormones), but jump scares became infinitely worse. With 30 additional pounds, mostly around my midsection in this ninth month of pregnancy, jumping in fright made an uncomfortable situation that much worse.

Because You’re Afraid You’ll Go Into Labor

I was past my due date with my first child on Halloween. So I could go into labor at any moment. But to have to check in to the hospital on Halloween? No thank you. The idea of delivering a baby was scary enough without any of the added horror decor.

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