We all have some fears lying under the surface when we find out we’re going to become parents. It’s a scary jump, to go from being someone else’s child to someone else's parent. Suddenly, you’re the person that has to have the answers. This itty, bitty human is going to rely on you for all of their needs. Frankly, it’s a lot of pressure. And that pressure can be felt immediately as intrusive thoughts creep in the moment you see your spouse hold your baby for the first time.
My becoming-a-parent story is anything but uneventful. In fact, it was downright traumatic. My first child was born extremely prematurely and passed away after birth. And when I decided to have my son, and attempted a home birth late in the game, we had to be rushed to the hospital to, well, finish the job. He was born at 40 weeks and two days, so I thought that would mean he'd have a guaranteed easy entry into the world. Instead, he had persistent pulmonary hypertension and had to spend two months in the NICU. So, yeah: my journey to motherhood? Not a walk in the park, my friends.
When my son was born, all I can really remember is my husband grabbing him from the doctor and then bringing him close to me to place on my chest. Considering everything I had already endured up until that point, you can imagine the kinds of terrifying thoughts I had while my husband held our son for the first time, including the following: