Not only is parenthood wonderful and challenging, fulfilling and frustrating... it's weird. Because it required a total shift in consciousness, away from my own needs and towards these tiny humans I was 100% responsible for, I've had to get, shall we say, very, very creative in order to find time to focus on myself. And maybe it's sleep deprivation, or a result of these major life changes, but moms like me do some weird things after their kids go to sleep. Like, really weird.
I'm not just talking about getting your freak on in the bedroom. I mean, we do that, too, of course. But I'm talking about standing in front of the freezer and eating ice cream without having to share, or putting on and take off new makeup looks, or going for long runs in the dark. I'm talking about marathon watching all of the "for mature audiences" shows you can, because you know tomorrow will be nothing but The Wiggles and Ask the StoryBots.
When I've asked other parents about the weird things they do after their kids go to bed, I wasn’t surprised by (and I certainly didn't judge) the things they do once their littles are sleeping. It's clear a lot of us rely on the time between our kids' bedtime and our morning alarms to be ourselves, autonomous from these tiny humans in our care who otherwise demand our every waking moment. And because we have to fit it all in at a time when we should probably be sleeping ourselves, things can get weird, fast, and as the following real life stories demonstrate: