ATTN Moms: Sending Your Kid To Daycare Is Horribly Selfish
by Dina Leygerman

Ladies, can you please stop having children if the moment they become too troublesome you pack them up and send them off to daycare? Why do you even bother going through the excruciating process of getting pregnant, carrying a child for 10 months, going through labor and delivery, and the insane fourth trimester if you're just going to pack that kid's bags the moment he or she is no longer entertaining enough for you. There are plenty of reasons why sending your kid to daycare is selfish, but the biggest reason of all lies in this very simple question: why did you even bother having a kid in the first place, if all you wanted to do all day is go to work and come home after your child's bedtime?

I see selfish mothers everywhere. I work with about five of them, too. These people, walking around the office, talking about their kids like they love them, working in order to put a roof over their children's heads and food in their growing stomachs, showing their pictures to anyone who's willing to look, pretending they can't wait to see their kids when they get home, are just so incredibly blind to their egotism. Do they realize we have mandatory paid family leave in this country? (Oh wait, we don't?) Don't they know the gender wage gap isn't a thing? (Oh wait, it is?) Don't they know women should stay at home with their children and cook and clean and never work outside their house a day in their entire life? (Oh wait, it's not 1952 anymore?) Do they not realize that sending kids to daycare is not only selfish, but it's also cruel?

These Millennials (and of course they are Millennials) are popping out kids left and right, then suddenly flabbergasted when they realize they actually have to take care of their children. Isn't that something? So listen up moms, because putting your innocent baby in a germ-infested, snot-ridden, sticky-hands-crawling, stranger-swarming building far away from all the baby knows and loves is selfish. And it's mean. And you should be better parents. But in case you're still skeptical about what makes this delusional decision selfish, let me break it down for you.

Because Altruistic Parents Would Want To Spend Every Minute With Their Child

But you don't, do you? You'd rather send your precious little lamb to be cared for by strangers with germs all over their hands. You'd rather spend your days going about your own business and working 40 (or more) hours a week and commuting and juggling the responsibilities of mother, partner, coworker, employee, and whatever else you are to the multitude of people you share your life with.

It doesn't matter that you're there for everything else. It doesn't matter that you'll be there for every other important moment. It doesn't matter that you spend your entire weekend taking your kid to activities and festivities. Nope, it doesn't matter at all that you spend your weekends together, as a family, apple-picking or museum hopping. Doesn't matter at all.

Because You Don't Care If You Miss Milestones

Just so you know, your child may say her first word while you are not around. She may take her first steps, eat her first piece of broccoli, and draw her first picture. I mean, don't you care? I bet you wouldn't even care if your baby's first words were, "Thank you Ms. Linda, for tucking me in during nap time since my mother isn't here to do it. Who is my mother, anyway?"

And while you may be thinking, "But I'm home every evening and weekend, I see every milestone. I'm still the primary caregiver," you are still thinking of yourself aren't you? And sure, it might have been difficult for you to drop off your baby at an overpriced daycare you're working to the bone to be able to afford so you can do something that gives you satisfaction while simultaneously providing your family with some financial stability, but, like, first words, you guys. Do you want to hear "ma ma" for the first time, or do you want to be able to provide your baby with health care coverage?

Because It Should Be Rewarding To Watch Your Child Learn

Good parents would want to do nothing else but stay home and teach their children the ABCs and the 123s. But you aren't a good parent, are you?

Sure, you're spending a ridiculous amount of money trying to find the best place for your child to be, paying professional teachers to teach your child in an environment specifically created for fostering learning, but you're still just leaving your baby there, by herself. All alone, with 10-15 other kids and a bunch of trained professionals, or whatever. Everyone keeps telling you it "takes a village" and you should rely on your community and ask for help and, well, apparently you bought it.

Because What Are You Even Doing With Your Life?

If you are not going to work and you are still sending your child to daycare, what exactly is wrong with you anyway? Why would you stay home and still send your child to daycare? What are you doing anyway? Going to the spa and to the mall, I bet. Seems pretty selfish to me. Don't tell me you're trying to socialize your child. Your child can totally socialize with her stuffed animals and get as much stimulation from staring at the walls all day as from being in daycare. Don't say you're trying to keep sane. Your sanity should come second to your child's every need.

I mean, what could possibly go wrong with you giving and giving and giving until there's nothing left of you? Don't you pay attention to the safety announcement prior to take off when you're on an airplane? You put every single solitary person's oxygen mask on first before you even touch your own. Duh.

Because You Are Putting Your Child At Risk For Various Diseases

Did you know that children are constantly sick when they attend daycare? Is it really worth it? I mean, I guess it's worth it for you. A selfless parent would protect their children no matter what, though. They would keep their kids home, away from all germs and bacteria and not release them into the world of disease and illness. Like, ever. They have their kids in a bubble, and you should seriously consider doing the same.

Never mind that catching the occasional cold or bug can actually be beneficial for children. Never mind that many physicians agree that a "child exposed to colds and viruses earlier in life will develop a stronger immune system and is less likely to become sick in his or her later years." You're still doing your child a disservice based on your self-indulgent intentions.

Because You're Choosing To Work Over Staying Home With Your Child

Don't even tell me you have to work in order to put food on the table. That can't possibly be true. It's totally your choice to work. You chose to work and make money in order to have fun and go on vacations, as I'm sure it has nothing to do with basic living necessities. So, you're making a choice and are putting your baby in daycare because you want play money.

Because You Are Basically Abandoning Your Child For Some Sort Of Self-Fulfillment

Whatever happened to being totally fulfilled by being a mom and wife and house-maker? Why are mothers all over the place leaving their families and becoming "working" mothers? The fact that one must work outside of the home to feel some sort of self-fulfillment is completely delusional. Your children and family should be enough. Women have become way too selfish, caring only about themselves and their careers. "Mother" should be enough of an identity. If you choose to have children, you should be elated to identify only as a mother. Whatever happened to that? When is enough?

And don't you dare point your finger back at me because I put both of my children into daycare when they were 14-months-old. I'm not on trial here.

But seriously, can we not with the faux outrage that mothers deign to rely on their communities to help them raise their children? Can we stop making women feel guilty for being complicated, dynamic, multifaceted human beings who need more than motherhood to feel fulfilled? Can we start treating them like dads, maybe, who work outside the home and no one seems to question the love they have for their children? I am proud, and thankful, to put my kids in daycare so I can work. All you moms out there that do the same? Yes, you should be proud, too.

Watch Romper's new video series, Romper's Doula Diaries:

Check out the entire Romper's Doula Diaries series and other videos on Facebook and the Bustle app across Apple TV, Roku, and Amazon Fire TV.